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The Worst Episodes of Car 54, Where Are You?

Every episode of Car 54, Where Are You? ranked from worst to best. Explore the Worst Episodes of Car 54, Where Are You?!

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The misadventures of two of New York's finest in the 53rd precinct in the Bronx. Toody, the short, stocky and dim-witted one, either saves the day or messes things up, much to the chagrin of

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  1. #1 Worst Episode
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    Car 54, Where Are You? Season 2 Episode 26 - Joan Crawford Didn't Say No
    6.8/10(233 votes)

    #1 - Joan Crawford Didn't Say No

    S2:E26

    When a septuagenarian delicatessen owner reports he will be marrying Joan Crawford, the boys of the 53rd are sent out to bust the phony matrimonial service that promises to pair its clients with Hollywood movie stars.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  2. Car 54, Where Are You? Season 1 Episode 10 - Thirty Days Notice
    7.2/10(81 votes)

    #2 - Thirty Days Notice

    S1:E10

    Gunther and Lucille Toody give their landlord notice because they're fed up with their crumbling apartment.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  3. Car 54, Where Are You? Season 1 Episode 11 - Catch Me on the Paar Show
    7.2/10(87 votes)

    #3 - Catch Me on the Paar Show

    S1:E11

    After a chance traffic stop with Hugh Downs, Gunther finagles an appearance on the Jack Paar show of a fellow officer he thinks is funny.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  4. Car 54, Where Are You? Season 1 Episode 15 - Christmas at the 53rd
    7.2/10(114 votes)

    #4 - Christmas at the 53rd

    S1:E15

    The boys from the 53rd put on a Christmas review. Two Gilbert & Sullivan parodies featuring Capt. Block & Muldoon, a heart-tugging song from Toody, and other sketches.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  5. Car 54, Where Are You? Season 1 Episode 16 - The Sacrifice
    7.2/10(82 votes)

    #5 - The Sacrifice

    S1:E16

    Muldoon's the big expert on rules and regulations, but he's scared to take the test to become a sergeant.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  6. Car 54, Where Are You? Season 1 Episode 12 - The Taming of Lucille
    7.3/10(90 votes)

    #6 - The Taming of Lucille

    S1:E12

    Toody is feeling henpecked by Lucille, but musters the courage to become king of his castle after seeing a stirring performance of Shakespeare's "The Taming of the Shrew."

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  7. Car 54, Where Are You? Season 1 Episode 30 - I Love Lucille
    7.3/10(77 votes)

    #7 - I Love Lucille

    S1:E30

    Lucille dyes her hair to get Gunther to notice her, and when he finally does, look out.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  8. Car 54, Where Are You? Season 2 Episode 2 - One Sleepy People
    7.3/10(84 votes)

    #8 - One Sleepy People

    S2:E2

    Francis and Lucille get the wrong idea, while watching a steamy movie on TV, that each loves the other.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  9. Car 54, Where Are You? Season 2 Episode 4 - Schnauser's Last Ride
    7.3/10(76 votes)

    #9 - Schnauser's Last Ride

    S2:E4

    The boys recount what happened when Schnauser was taken off his mounted police route.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  10. Car 54, Where Are You? Season 2 Episode 7 - Remember St. Petersburg
    7.3/10(72 votes)

    #10 - Remember St. Petersburg

    S2:E7

    A fortune-telling scam ring mistakes Leo as royalty, and calls Sylvia with the news. Another mistake has the con artists convincing an undercover Toody that he's royalty, and Leo's his brother.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  11. Car 54, Where Are You? Season 2 Episode 5 - Toody & Muldoon Sing Along with Mitch
    7.4/10(79 votes)

    #11 - Toody & Muldoon Sing Along with Mitch

    S2:E5

    When the 53rd precinct Whippoorwills audition for Mitch Miller, it's clear which of the 4 is the problem, but who will tell Toody?

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  12. Car 54, Where Are You? Season 2 Episode 11 - A Star Is Born in the Bronx
    7.4/10(78 votes)

    #12 - A Star Is Born in the Bronx

    S2:E11

    Sylvia Schnauser goes into delusional rapture when asked to plug cookies on television.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  13. Car 54, Where Are You? Season 2 Episode 12 - Pretzel Mary
    7.4/10(79 votes)

    #13 - Pretzel Mary

    S2:E12

    The boys finally bust a nasty nuisance in the Park - "Pretzel Mary". When they see her deplorable living conditions they replace her furniture - not realizing what they're taking away.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  14. Car 54, Where Are You? Season 2 Episode 14 - Stop Thief
    7.4/10(70 votes)

    #14 - Stop Thief

    S2:E14

    After overhearing the Captain rehearsing a play in his office, the boys think he's a kleptomaniac! They "cover" for him by re-stealing all his Xmas presents. Can they make things right by the end of Christmas Eve?

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  15. Car 54, Where Are You? Season 1 Episode 1 - Who's for Swordfish?
    7.5/10(148 votes)

    #15 - Who's for Swordfish?

    S1:E1

    In the pilot, the boys are desperate to angle for swordfish. After shift-swapping with the entire precinct and avoiding any issuance of tickets (to avert court duty), will they go?

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  16. Car 54, Where Are You? Season 1 Episode 2 - Something Nice for Sol
    7.5/10(116 votes)

    #16 - Something Nice for Sol

    S1:E2

    Gunther Toody drives the entire station batty chairing the committee to get everyone's favorite desk Sgt. Sol Abrams a surprise 25 year present. Toody keeps changing his little mind seeking the perfect gift, and insists on parliamentary procedure for meetings. Abrams' sore feet confine him to desk work, so he worries that it'll be 25 and out, if the brass find out how bad the precinct's sweetheart's hurting.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  17. Car 54, Where Are You? Season 1 Episode 6 - Muldoon's Star
    7.5/10(101 votes)

    #17 - Muldoon's Star

    S1:E6

    Toody convinces 'Tessie the Torso', a buxom sex-symbol, to stay at Francis's mother's house. It turns out, Muldoon is a huge fan.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  18. Car 54, Where Are You? Season 1 Episode 9 - The Gypsy Curse
    7.5/10(93 votes)

    #18 - The Gypsy Curse

    S1:E9

    The boys are told to shut down a gypsy ripoff artist, and when they do, the gypsy puts a curse on Toody.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  19. Car 54, Where Are You? Season 1 Episode 20 - How High Is Up?
    7.5/10(92 votes)

    #19 - How High Is Up?

    S1:E20

    Muldoon discovers he's grown an inch to 6-foot-seven, putting him one inch over the police regulation and putting him over the edge with paranoia about his height.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  20. Car 54, Where Are You? Season 1 Episode 28 - The Auction
    7.5/10(80 votes)

    #20 - The Auction

    S1:E28

    The boys of the 53rd Precinct pull together to buy Captain Block the matching Aleutian Ceremonial Chair he desires to complete his set.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  21. Car 54, Where Are You? Season 2 Episode 3 - A Man Is Not an Ox
    7.5/10(78 votes)

    #21 - A Man Is Not an Ox

    S2:E3

    When a medical doctor sees similarities between two oxen yoked together for 10 years and Car 54's occupants, the boys try to behave out-of-sync, but fail.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  22. Car 54, Where Are You? Season 2 Episode 8 - That's Show Business
    7.5/10(75 votes)

    #22 - That's Show Business

    S2:E8

    Muldoon's sister Peggy lands a part in the play "Waiting for Wednesday" and the boys of the 53rd Precinct become financial backers before learning that it's a gritty play about police brutality.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  23. Car 54, Where Are You? Season 2 Episode 21 - The Star Boarder
    7.5/10(70 votes)

    #23 - The Star Boarder

    S2:E21

    Gunther and Lucille Toody are trying to make some extra money. They decide to rent a room,taking in a preacher as a paying boarder. He seems as honest as the day is long but is he actually who he says he is?

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  24. Car 54, Where Are You? Season 1 Episode 3 - Home Sweet Sing Sing
    7.6/10(97 votes)

    #24 - Home Sweet Sing Sing

    S1:E3

    The boys use extraordinary techniques to rehabilitate a recently released petty thief. Unfortunately, Benny has other ideas.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  25. Car 54, Where Are You? Season 1 Episode 7 - The Paint Job
    7.6/10(105 votes)

    #25 - The Paint Job

    S1:E7

    A car thieving ring is using an auto body shop to paint stolen cars and resell them. The 53rd is down to only two patrol cars, so the boys are desperate to keep their beloved car 54. When it's damaged by a pulled-over driver, they take it to the same repair shop.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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Worst Episodes Summary

"Joan Crawford Didn't Say No" is the worst rated episode of "Car 54, Where Are You?". It scored 6.8/10 based on 233 votes. Directed by Unknown and written by Unknown, it aired on 3/17/1963. This episode scored 0.4 points lower than the second lowest rated, "Thirty Days Notice".