In the pilot, the boys are desperate to angle for swordfish. After shift-swapping with the entire precinct and avoiding any issuance of tickets (to avert court duty), will they go?

Gunther Toody drives the entire station batty chairing the committee to get everyone's favorite desk Sgt. Sol Abrams a surprise 25 year present. Toody keeps changing his little mind seeking the perfect gift, and insists on parliamentary procedure for meetings. Abrams' sore feet confine him to desk work, so he worries that it'll be 25 and out, if the brass find out how bad the precinct's sweetheart's hurting.

The boys use extraordinary techniques to rehabilitate a recently released petty thief. Unfortunately, Benny has other ideas.

Introducing Mrs. Bronson, the sweet Jewish grandmother confounding the boys at the 53rd as well as New York City's bureaucracy.

Toody convinces 'Tessie the Torso', a buxom sex-symbol, to stay at Francis's mother's house. It turns out, Muldoon is a huge fan.

A car thieving ring is using an auto body shop to paint stolen cars and resell them. The 53rd is down to only two patrol cars, so the boys are desperate to keep their beloved car 54. When it's damaged by a pulled-over driver, they take it to the same repair shop.

Lucille plays matchmaker for Francis.

The boys are told to shut down a gypsy ripoff artist, and when they do, the gypsy puts a curse on Toody.

Gunther and Lucille Toody give their landlord notice because they're fed up with their crumbling apartment.

After a chance traffic stop with Hugh Downs, Gunther finagles an appearance on the Jack Paar show of a fellow officer he thinks is funny.

Toody is feeling henpecked by Lucille, but musters the courage to become king of his castle after seeing a stirring performance of Shakespeare's "The Taming of the Shrew."

The 53rd Precinct's Brotherhood Club's newly elected treasurer Gunther Toody is determined to invest their hard-earned $800 in the stock market despite the protests of his fiscally conservative colleagues.

While Schnauser is laid up in the hospital, Toody is tapped by the FBI to go undercover to help them nab notorious bank robber "No Face."

Muldoon's the big expert on rules and regulations, but he's scared to take the test to become a sergeant.

The boys are attempting to win the barbershop quartet competition for "the old man" Capt. Block. The rules require all 163 quartets to perform the same song, which drives poor Jan Murray to insanity.

After the police chief drives through Toody & Muldoon's sector, he's so angered by the scores of violations he sees he orders an investigation - with surprising results.

Toody is on an undercover detail in Brooklyn with a female cop as his wife and a small boy as his child. When Lucille's sister spots him there, the rumors start flying wildly.

Muldoon discovers he's grown an inch to 6-foot-seven, putting him one inch over the police regulation and putting him over the edge with paranoia about his height.

Toody is the only person who can appreciate Karpathia's abstract masterpiece, "Lower Manhattan at Sunset (from the New Jersey Side)." This episode features an inspired performance from Severn Darden.

The 53rd is embarrassed by the domestic dispute calls that come every Thursday night - from the Schnausers. Toody convinces Leo (along w/the rest of the boys) that Thursday's actually Friday leading to expected hilarious confusion.

The smartest rookie cop is assigned to ride w/chatty Toody & reticent Muldoon. Can Car 54 survive, now that Muldoon has stimulating conversation?

Tired of being stereotyped as a mama's boy, Muldoon feigns having a hot date at "the hottest club in the Bronx". When his bluff is called by doubting coworkers, he quickly commandeers a puritan family who gets the wrong impression from his weapon!

The boys go under cover at Yankee Stadium to stem the onslaught of pickpockets. One skilled pilferer turns the tide on Toody; who ends up arrested?

Burkholtz, relegated to the Lost & Found for 15 years due to his extreme laxity is the only choice to sub for Capt. Block on his forced two week vacation. The boys mistake his absence from active duty thinking it's because he was too tough!

Leo and Sylvia Schnauser decide to renew their vows with a large wedding ceremony.