6.6/10225 votesLoading...#1 - Joan Crawford Didn't Say No
Season 2 Episode 26 - Aired 3/17/1963
When a septuagenarian delicatessen owner reports he will be marrying Joan Crawford, the boys of the 53rd are sent out to bust the phony matrimonial service that promises to pair its clients with Hollywood movie stars.
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
7.0/1082 votesLoading...#2 - Catch Me on the Paar Show
Season 1 Episode 11 - Aired 11/26/1961
After a chance traffic stop with Hugh Downs, Gunther finagles an appearance on the Jack Paar show of a fellow officer he thinks is funny.
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
7.1/1077 votesLoading...#3 - Thirty Days Notice
Season 1 Episode 10 - Aired 11/19/1961
Gunther and Lucille Toody give their landlord notice because they're fed up with their crumbling apartment.
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
7.1/1083 votesLoading...#4 - The Taming of Lucille
Season 1 Episode 12 - Aired 12/3/1961
Toody is feeling henpecked by Lucille, but musters the courage to become king of his castle after seeing a stirring performance of Shakespeare's "The Taming of the Shrew."
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
7.1/10103 votesLoading...#5 - Christmas at the 53rd
Season 1 Episode 15 - Aired 12/24/1961
The boys from the 53rd put on a Christmas review. Two Gilbert & Sullivan parodies featuring Capt. Block & Muldoon, a heart-tugging song from Toody, and other sketches.
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
7.1/1077 votesLoading...#6 - The Sacrifice
Season 1 Episode 16 - Aired 1/7/1962
Muldoon's the big expert on rules and regulations, but he's scared to take the test to become a sergeant.
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
7.2/1078 votesLoading...#7 - One Sleepy People
Season 2 Episode 2 - Aired 9/23/1962
Francis and Lucille get the wrong idea, while watching a steamy movie on TV, that each loves the other.
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
7.2/1072 votesLoading...#8 - Schnauser's Last Ride
Season 2 Episode 4 - Aired 10/7/1962
The boys recount what happened when Schnauser was taken off his mounted police route.
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
7.2/1067 votesLoading...#9 - Remember St. Petersburg
Season 2 Episode 7 - Aired 10/28/1962
A fortune-telling scam ring mistakes Leo as royalty, and calls Sylvia with the news. Another mistake has the con artists convincing an undercover Toody that he's royalty, and Leo's his brother.
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
7.2/1074 votesLoading...#10 - A Star Is Born in the Bronx
Season 2 Episode 11 - Aired 11/25/1962
Sylvia Schnauser goes into delusional rapture when asked to plug cookies on television.
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
7.3/10106 votesLoading...#11 - Something Nice for Sol
Season 1 Episode 2 - Aired 9/24/1961
Gunther Toody drives the entire station batty chairing the committee to get everyone's favorite desk Sgt. Sol Abrams a surprise 25 year present. Toody keeps changing his little mind seeking the perfect gift, and insists on parliamentary procedure for meetings. Abrams' sore feet confine him to desk work, so he worries that it'll be 25 and out, if the brass find out how bad the precinct's sweetheart's hurting.
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
7.3/1074 votesLoading...#12 - I Love Lucille
Season 1 Episode 30 - Aired 4/22/1962
Lucille dyes her hair to get Gunther to notice her, and when he finally does, look out.
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
7.3/1074 votesLoading...#13 - Toody & Muldoon Sing Along with Mitch
Season 2 Episode 5 - Aired 10/14/1962
When the 53rd precinct Whippoorwills audition for Mitch Miller, it's clear which of the 4 is the problem, but who will tell Toody?
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
7.3/1070 votesLoading...#14 - That's Show Business
Season 2 Episode 8 - Aired 11/4/1962
Muldoon's sister Peggy lands a part in the play "Waiting for Wednesday" and the boys of the 53rd Precinct become financial backers before learning that it's a gritty play about police brutality.
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
7.3/1072 votesLoading...#15 - Pretzel Mary
Season 2 Episode 12 - Aired 12/2/1962
The boys finally bust a nasty nuisance in the Park - "Pretzel Mary". When they see her deplorable living conditions they replace her furniture - not realizing what they're taking away.
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
7.3/1063 votesLoading...#16 - Stop Thief
Season 2 Episode 14 - Aired 12/16/1963
After overhearing the Captain rehearsing a play in his office, the boys think he's a kleptomaniac! They "cover" for him by re-stealing all his Xmas presents. Can they make things right by the end of Christmas Eve?
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
7.4/1094 votesLoading...#17 - Muldoon's Star
Season 1 Episode 6 - Aired 10/22/1961
Toody convinces 'Tessie the Torso', a buxom sex-symbol, to stay at Francis's mother's house. It turns out, Muldoon is a huge fan.
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
7.4/1089 votesLoading...#18 - How High Is Up?
Season 1 Episode 20 - Aired 2/4/1962
Muldoon discovers he's grown an inch to 6-foot-seven, putting him one inch over the police regulation and putting him over the edge with paranoia about his height.
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
7.4/1084 votesLoading...#19 - Toody and the Art World
Season 1 Episode 21 - Aired 2/11/1962
Toody is the only person who can appreciate Karpathia's abstract masterpiece, "Lower Manhattan at Sunset (from the New Jersey Side)." This episode features an inspired performance from Severn Darden.
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
7.4/1076 votesLoading...#20 - The Auction
Season 1 Episode 28 - Aired 4/1/1962
The boys of the 53rd Precinct pull together to buy Captain Block the matching Aleutian Ceremonial Chair he desires to complete his set.
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
7.4/1073 votesLoading...#21 - A Man Is Not an Ox
Season 2 Episode 3 - Aired 9/30/1962
When a medical doctor sees similarities between two oxen yoked together for 10 years and Car 54's occupants, the boys try to behave out-of-sync, but fail.
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
7.4/1065 votesLoading...#22 - The Star Boarder
Season 2 Episode 21 - Aired 2/10/1963
Gunther and Lucille Toody are trying to make some extra money. They decide to rent a room,taking in a preacher as a paying boarder. He seems as honest as the day is long but is he actually who he says he is?
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
7.5/10129 votesLoading...#23 - Who's for Swordfish?
Season 1 Episode 1 - Aired 9/17/1961
In the pilot, the boys are desperate to angle for swordfish. After shift-swapping with the entire precinct and avoiding any issuance of tickets (to avert court duty), will they go?
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
7.5/1090 votesLoading...#24 - Home Sweet Sing Sing
Season 1 Episode 3 - Aired 10/1/1961
The boys use extraordinary techniques to rehabilitate a recently released petty thief. Unfortunately, Benny has other ideas.
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
7.5/1098 votesLoading...#25 - The Paint Job
Season 1 Episode 7 - Aired 10/29/1961
A car thieving ring is using an auto body shop to paint stolen cars and resell them. The 53rd is down to only two patrol cars, so the boys are desperate to keep their beloved car 54. When it's damaged by a pulled-over driver, they take it to the same repair shop.
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
The Worst Episodes of Car 54, Where Are You?
Every episode of Car 54, Where Are You? ranked from worst to best. Explore the Worst Episodes of Car 54, Where Are You?!
The misadventures of two of New York's finest in the 53rd precinct in the Bronx. Toody, the short, stocky and dim-witted one, either saves the...
Genre:Comedy
Network:NBC
Worst Episodes Summary
"Joan Crawford Didn't Say No" is the worst rated episode of "Car 54, Where Are You?". It scored 6.6/10 based on 225 votes. Directed by N/A and written by N/A, it aired on 3/17/1963. This episode scored 0.4 points lower than the second lowest rated, "Catch Me on the Paar Show".