Episode Hive Logo
Show cover for Car 54, Where Are You?

The Worst Episodes of Car 54, Where Are You?

Every episode of Car 54, Where Are You? ranked from worst to best. Explore the Worst Episodes of Car 54, Where Are You?!

The misadventures of two of New York's finest in the 53rd precinct in the Bronx. Toody, the short, stocky and dim-witted one, either saves the day or messes things up, much to the chagrin of Muldoon, the tall, lanky and smart one.

Genre:Comedy
Network:NBC

Lowest Rated Episodes Summary

The worst episode of "Car 54, Where Are You?" is "Joan Crawford Didn't Say No", rated 6.6/10 from 225 user votes. It was directed by N/A and written by N/A. "Joan Crawford Didn't Say No" aired on 3/17/1963 and is rated 0.4 point(s) lower than the second lowest rated, "Catch Me on the Paar Show".

  • Joan Crawford Didn't Say No
    6.6/10 225 votes

    #1 - Joan Crawford Didn't Say No

    Season 2 Episode 26 - Aired 3/17/1963

    When a septuagenarian delicatessen owner reports he will be marrying Joan Crawford, the boys of the 53rd are sent out to bust the phony matrimonial service that promises to pair its clients with Hollywood movie stars.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • Catch Me on the Paar Show
    7.0/10 82 votes

    #2 - Catch Me on the Paar Show

    Season 1 Episode 11 - Aired 11/26/1961

    After a chance traffic stop with Hugh Downs, Gunther finagles an appearance on the Jack Paar show of a fellow officer he thinks is funny.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • Thirty Days Notice
    7.1/10 77 votes

    #3 - Thirty Days Notice

    Season 1 Episode 10 - Aired 11/19/1961

    Gunther and Lucille Toody give their landlord notice because they're fed up with their crumbling apartment.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • The Taming of Lucille
    7.1/10 83 votes

    #4 - The Taming of Lucille

    Season 1 Episode 12 - Aired 12/3/1961

    Toody is feeling henpecked by Lucille, but musters the courage to become king of his castle after seeing a stirring performance of Shakespeare's "The Taming of the Shrew."

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • Christmas at the 53rd
    7.1/10 103 votes

    #5 - Christmas at the 53rd

    Season 1 Episode 15 - Aired 12/24/1961

    The boys from the 53rd put on a Christmas review. Two Gilbert & Sullivan parodies featuring Capt. Block & Muldoon, a heart-tugging song from Toody, and other sketches.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • The Sacrifice
    7.1/10 77 votes

    #6 - The Sacrifice

    Season 1 Episode 16 - Aired 1/7/1962

    Muldoon's the big expert on rules and regulations, but he's scared to take the test to become a sergeant.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • One Sleepy People
    7.2/10 77 votes

    #7 - One Sleepy People

    Season 2 Episode 2 - Aired 9/23/1962

    Francis and Lucille get the wrong idea, while watching a steamy movie on TV, that each loves the other.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • Schnauser's Last Ride
    7.2/10 71 votes

    #8 - Schnauser's Last Ride

    Season 2 Episode 4 - Aired 10/7/1962

    The boys recount what happened when Schnauser was taken off his mounted police route.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • Remember St. Petersburg
    7.2/10 66 votes

    #9 - Remember St. Petersburg

    Season 2 Episode 7 - Aired 10/28/1962

    A fortune-telling scam ring mistakes Leo as royalty, and calls Sylvia with the news. Another mistake has the con artists convincing an undercover Toody that he's royalty, and Leo's his brother.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • A Star Is Born in the Bronx
    7.2/10 73 votes

    #10 - A Star Is Born in the Bronx

    Season 2 Episode 11 - Aired 11/25/1962

    Sylvia Schnauser goes into delusional rapture when asked to plug cookies on television.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • I Love Lucille
    7.3/10 74 votes

    #11 - I Love Lucille

    Season 1 Episode 30 - Aired 4/22/1962

    Lucille dyes her hair to get Gunther to notice her, and when he finally does, look out.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • Toody & Muldoon Sing Along with Mitch
    7.3/10 74 votes

    #12 - Toody & Muldoon Sing Along with Mitch

    Season 2 Episode 5 - Aired 10/14/1962

    When the 53rd precinct Whippoorwills audition for Mitch Miller, it's clear which of the 4 is the problem, but who will tell Toody?

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • Pretzel Mary
    7.3/10 72 votes

    #13 - Pretzel Mary

    Season 2 Episode 12 - Aired 12/2/1962

    The boys finally bust a nasty nuisance in the Park - "Pretzel Mary". When they see her deplorable living conditions they replace her furniture - not realizing what they're taking away.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • Stop Thief
    7.3/10 63 votes

    #14 - Stop Thief

    Season 2 Episode 14 - Aired 12/16/1963

    After overhearing the Captain rehearsing a play in his office, the boys think he's a kleptomaniac! They "cover" for him by re-stealing all his Xmas presents. Can they make things right by the end of Christmas Eve?

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • Something Nice for Sol
    7.4/10 105 votes

    #15 - Something Nice for Sol

    Season 1 Episode 2 - Aired 9/24/1961

    Gunther Toody drives the entire station batty chairing the committee to get everyone's favorite desk Sgt. Sol Abrams a surprise 25 year present. Toody keeps changing his little mind seeking the perfect gift, and insists on parliamentary procedure for meetings. Abrams' sore feet confine him to desk work, so he worries that it'll be 25 and out, if the brass find out how bad the precinct's sweetheart's hurting.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • Muldoon's Star
    7.4/10 94 votes

    #16 - Muldoon's Star

    Season 1 Episode 6 - Aired 10/22/1961

    Toody convinces 'Tessie the Torso', a buxom sex-symbol, to stay at Francis's mother's house. It turns out, Muldoon is a huge fan.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • How High Is Up?
    7.4/10 89 votes

    #17 - How High Is Up?

    Season 1 Episode 20 - Aired 2/4/1962

    Muldoon discovers he's grown an inch to 6-foot-seven, putting him one inch over the police regulation and putting him over the edge with paranoia about his height.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • Toody and the Art World
    7.4/10 84 votes

    #18 - Toody and the Art World

    Season 1 Episode 21 - Aired 2/11/1962

    Toody is the only person who can appreciate Karpathia's abstract masterpiece, "Lower Manhattan at Sunset (from the New Jersey Side)." This episode features an inspired performance from Severn Darden.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • The Auction
    7.4/10 76 votes

    #19 - The Auction

    Season 1 Episode 28 - Aired 4/1/1962

    The boys of the 53rd Precinct pull together to buy Captain Block the matching Aleutian Ceremonial Chair he desires to complete his set.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • A Man Is Not an Ox
    7.4/10 72 votes

    #20 - A Man Is Not an Ox

    Season 2 Episode 3 - Aired 9/30/1962

    When a medical doctor sees similarities between two oxen yoked together for 10 years and Car 54's occupants, the boys try to behave out-of-sync, but fail.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • That's Show Business
    7.4/10 69 votes

    #21 - That's Show Business

    Season 2 Episode 8 - Aired 11/4/1962

    Muldoon's sister Peggy lands a part in the play "Waiting for Wednesday" and the boys of the 53rd Precinct become financial backers before learning that it's a gritty play about police brutality.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • The Star Boarder
    7.4/10 65 votes

    #22 - The Star Boarder

    Season 2 Episode 21 - Aired 2/10/1963

    Gunther and Lucille Toody are trying to make some extra money. They decide to rent a room,taking in a preacher as a paying boarder. He seems as honest as the day is long but is he actually who he says he is?

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • Who's for Swordfish?
    7.5/10 128 votes

    #23 - Who's for Swordfish?

    Season 1 Episode 1 - Aired 9/17/1961

    In the pilot, the boys are desperate to angle for swordfish. After shift-swapping with the entire precinct and avoiding any issuance of tickets (to avert court duty), will they go?

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • Home Sweet Sing Sing
    7.5/10 90 votes

    #24 - Home Sweet Sing Sing

    Season 1 Episode 3 - Aired 10/1/1961

    The boys use extraordinary techniques to rehabilitate a recently released petty thief. Unfortunately, Benny has other ideas.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • The Paint Job
    7.5/10 98 votes

    #25 - The Paint Job

    Season 1 Episode 7 - Aired 10/29/1961

    A car thieving ring is using an auto body shop to paint stolen cars and resell them. The 53rd is down to only two patrol cars, so the boys are desperate to keep their beloved car 54. When it's damaged by a pulled-over driver, they take it to the same repair shop.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A