Gunner Solomons is trying to run a Concert Party rehearsal and he's finding it difficult without Gunner Graham, the pianist, who's been put on jankers by Sergeant Major Williams. The Sergeant Major is determined that Graham will spend his time painting stones white rather than playing the piano for a 'bunch of puffs'. Solly decides to appeal to a higher authority, so he sends the Bearer off to deliver a note to the Colonel. As a result, Graham is excused jankers and allowed to join the rest of the Concert Party in rehearsal. That evening, the Concert Party performance is interrupted when a large mob of locals stage an anti-British protest outside the camp gates. The Sergeant Major finds himself 'annointed' with the dung of a sacred animal - all over his best tunic.

Rangi Ram notices that Gunner Parkins and the Sergeant Major both have a photograph of the same woman next to their beds. It's Parky's mother and the only woman the Sergeant Major ever loved. Rangi tells the Sergeant Major, who jumps to the conclusion that Parky is his son. Gunner Parkins is about to be posted 'up the jungle'. Williams tries to think of a way of preventing this from happening. He decides to arrange for Parky to become a member of the Concert Party, as a ventriloquist. News of the German surrender and the end of the war in Europe reaches the camp.

It's decided that all of the Punkah Wallahs in the camp should be replaced with electric fans. When the Punkah Wallahs hear about this, they all go on strike. The local electricity workers walk out in sympathy, so the camp is suddenly without power. Then the workers at the telephone exchange go on strike. Gunner Solomons comes up with a plan to settle the dispute and reinstate the Punkah Wallahs

Gunner Parkin is "removed" from the concert party. The Sergeant Major plots to have the rest of the gang sent "up the jungle".

Sergeant Major Williams talks the Colonel into letting him take the men from the Concert Party on a jungle survival course. The Sergeant Major thinks everyone is going without food and water, but Solly has arranged for Rangi Ram and the Char Wallah to follow behind with hot tea and food. While the Sergeant Major suffers from hunger and thirst, the men from the Concert Party keep sneaking off to eat and drink.

Attempts are made to find out whether or not RSM Williams really IS Parky's father

The Concert Party are on their way to put on a show for the troops at Bannu, on the Northwest Frontier. After a long, hot train journey, they set off by road on the last leg of the journey. The truck breaks down and the men are stranded. They find themselves surrounded by hostile tribesmen. Solly has to pose as Bing Crosby and put on a show for the tribesmen in order to pacify them. When Gloria appears as Dorothy Lamour, the leader of the tribesmen wants to buy 'her'.

The Sergeant Major wants the men from the Concert Party to do guard duty and drill. The Colonel points out that they all have different uniforms, so they wouldn't look right on guard. The Sergeant Major plans to get the gang to dress up in similar uniforms by persuading them to include a 'military' number in the show. Solly manages to get hold of some uniforms and begins to rehearse 'The Road To Mandalay'. The General pays a visit to inspect the camp. He complains about the fact that the men in the camp all seem to be wearing different uniforms. Then he sees the Sergeant Major drilling the Concert Party, all dressed in similar uniforms, and insists on inspecting them.

The Sergeant Major tries to train the concert party to lower the flag at sunset.

The concert party's plane makes a crash landing, and the men realise they could be behind enemy lines.

The Sergeant Major is determined to find out who replaced the camp's Union Jack with an Indian flag.

A performance in the Kama Sutra Club gets the concert party and the Battery Sergeant Major into trouble.

Sergeant Williams tempts the wrath of the gods by ejecting a revered holy man from the parade ground.

When the army runs out of "that stuff they put in our tea" the men cannot stop thinking about women. Colonel Reynolds tries to see Mrs Waddilove-Evans when her husband is not home.

A snake-charmer's cobra goes missing and is found in the Sergeant Major's quarters.

The concert party take refuge from a rainstorm in a ruined temple and fall victim to a fanatical native sect.

When the Sergeant-Major makes the Concert party perform fatigues to be ready for the arrival of the monsoon, Lofty goes mad and vows to kill the Sergeant-Major.

When it becomes difficult for Colonel Reynolds to hide his affair with Mrs Waddilove-Evans, he decides it's best to accompany the concert party to a show on the North-West Frontier.

The members of the concert party try to find the kidnapped Mrs Waddilove-Evans.

Bombardier Beaumont tries different ways to get sent home.

An elephant follows Lofty to the camp.

Men from a remote RAF base get too excited when the concert party puts on a show.

A pageant, written by Captain Ashwood, might offend the Indian assistant to the District Officer.

Gunner Parkins turns twenty-one. Sergeant Major Williams wants to give him a present.

When the men get sent up the jungle, they find that some Australian soldiers have not vacated their camp, as was ordered.