The Worst Episodes of Mad About You

The real marriage anniversary arrives and Jamie gives Paul a gift - swiss military knife - and receives a gift from Paul - a machine for making sugar products. Both disappointed with their gifts, they go to a store where it turns out that they have totally different opinions about children. Then, when they have lunch with Paul's sister, the Buchmans try to entertain Susan's son Nah while she's on the phone. Paul realizes that having kids is nothing different than having a dog, but Jamie has totally different opinion...

Director: Tom Moore

Writer: Danny Jacobson

Unable to buy her an anniversary present, with or without everyone else's help, Paul hands Jamie a slip of paper entitling her to a magical night. Things take a decidedly unusual turn after that.

Director: Michael Lembeck

Writer: Jack Burditt, Jeffrey Lane

Mabel's first real film is a biography, looking back at her family's twisted history.

Director: Helen Hunt

Writer: Paul Reiser, Victor Levin

Having chosen the residents of Apartment 11-D as its parents, the baby in the making deals with musical interludes and parental cooing, and with lots and lots of choice moments from their years together. In other words, a clip show.

Director: Michael Lembeck

Writer: Leslie Caveny

Mr. Wicker goes out of town and asks Paul and Jamie to tend his rooftop garden. Mabel loves another baby's rare toy.

Director: Helen Hunt

Writer: N/A

Paul's life flashes before his eyes when he takes a spill in the shower.

Director: David Steinberg

Writer: Paul Reiser, Victor Levin

The couple learns that Jamie will be in bed with Mark McGwire via virtual reality.

Director: David Steinberg

Writer: N/A

Jamie's dress is ruined by a dry cleaner who is unwilling to make restitution. Paul has a dream where Einstein gives him a partial solution to the millennium bug. He needs to have the dream again, so he can get the rest of the solution.

Director: David Steinberg

Writer: N/A

Jamie discovers that Paul was married before--if only to get an old Russian woman U.S. citizenship. Jamie's upset that she is, indeed, the second Mrs. Buchman. Meanwhile, Paul is an umpire for his father's senior-citizen baseball game, and a fight erupts between father and son over a call.

Director: David Steinberg

Writer: N/A

To escape Jamie's baby shower, Paul hits the road with Ira and Marvin in the latter's van, but his urge to tell insensitive jokes quickly leads to trouble.

Director: David Steinberg

Writer: Paul Reiser, Richard Day, Larry Charles

Paul, Jamie and Ira decide to make a baby video. However, Paul starring as the Sandman frightens kids and turns them off to the concept. Meanwhile, Paul's parents tell him he has a half-brother.

Director: Michael Lembeck

Writer: N/A

Paul convinces Jamie to quit her job. Joan is posing for ""The 20 Most Eligible Bachelorettes in New York"" for a magazine and Debbie is jealous. Paul, Jamie, Ira, Joan and Debbie go to Riff's, where a fire breaks out while Paul is in the bathroom. Ira saves Ursula's life while Jamie, Debbie and Joan run out, leaving Paul in the bathroom. Joan asks Debbie to marry her.

Director: N/A

Writer: N/A

Paul and Jamie search for a full-time nanny, and Paul finds one in the form of Nancy Bloom, a caterer he inadvertently got fired from the production of a documentary about ""The Making of Titanic.""

Director: Gordon Hunt

Writer: Victor Levin

Sheila declares Paul and Jamie cured. However, Murray is still traumatized by the earlier puma attack, so Paul and Jamie enter him in a dog show.

Director: Michael Lembeck

Writer: N/A

Paul tries to pick a Mother's Day present for Jamie, but Ira and Marvin have better ideas: a rocking chair and a message displayed on the Times Square video screen. Sylvia is jealous of Jamie's gifts and fakes injury to steal attention.

Director: Helen Hunt

Writer: N/A

Jamie's ex-boyfriend dies and leaves everything to her. Debbie has second thoughts about marrying Joan.

Director: Gordon Hunt

Writer: N/A

When Paul innocently flips a coin to make a decision, Paul's former producer overhears a conversation that puts Paul and Jamie in the limelight with the tabloid program ""Hard Copy."" Also, Ira finds that he's the prime suspect in a paternity case, and Paul's parents try their luck in Atlantic City.

Director: Michael Lembeck

Writer: N/A

To save the store, Ira plans to give away a car to the person who keeps their hand on it the longest. Since he can't afford it, he wants all of the contestants to be ringers.

Director: N/A

Writer: N/A

Paul and Jamie discover the extra comfort of sleeping apart. Marvin is wrestling part time and Ira becomes his manager.

Director: N/A

Writer: Bob Nickman

When Debbie compiles Buchman and Stemple family trees, she learns that Paul and Jamie are actually cousins.

Director: Gordon Hunt

Writer: Elin Hampton

A long wait at the bus stop leaves time for the Buchmans to take a Cosmopolitan marriage test. (Clip show).

Director: Michael Lembeck

Writer: N/A

A politically incorrect Jamie pays the price for commenting about Ryan's ability as a budding violinist, while a simmering Paul works up the nerve to confront their therapist about her overcharging ways.

Director: David Steinberg

Writer: Jenji Kohan

A very pregnant Jamie insists on helping out at David (Paul's cousin) and Jared's new coffee shop, with disastrous results. Meanwhile, Ira and Paul help a pregnant woman on a bus.

Director: Gordon Hunt

Writer: Richard Day

Paul and Jamie meet a new neighbor, Sarah, a divorced mother of three who manages to teach Jamie a more casual style of parenting. Also, Paul and Jamie conspire to set up Sarah on a blind date with Ira.

Director: Gordon Hunt

Writer: Lissa Levin

Jamie is reluctant to stop breast-feeding exclusively, but she knows it's time for the baby to learn to feed from the bottle, while Paul is excited to be able to feed the baby for the first time. Meanwhile, Jamie's upset to learn that her mom is dating a much younger man, a dancer from ""Lord of the Dance.""

Director: David Steinberg

Writer: Lissa Levin