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The Best Episodes of Not the Nine O'Clock News

Every episode of Not the Nine O'Clock News ranked from best to worst. Let's dive into the Best Episodes of Not the Nine O'Clock News!

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Classic sketch comedy show satirising the news and culture of the late 70s and early 80s which introduced Rowan Atkinson, Mel Smith, Griff Rhys Jones and Pamela Stephenson.

Airs on
BBC Two
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Episode Rankings

  1. #1 Fan Favorite
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    Not the Nine O'Clock News Season 2 Episode 5 - Show Eleven
    8.2/10(23 votes)

    #1 - Show Eleven

    S2:E5

    Sketches: MGM Skit / Death Of A Princess (Apology To The Saudis) / Prostitute / Thatcher actor / Kosher Chewing Gum / Stamp auction / Train carriage cleaners / Multi-ligual Hotel Sign / News vendors / Remote Control / Gerald The Gorilla / Man In Post Office / Kidnapping / Tarts / Princess Anne And Mark Philips / Domino Theory / Neanderthal man / Instant Pot Meals / Bob Wellings / King Of Rock n Roll / Banging On The Ceiling / Train Drums

    Director:Unknown
    Writers:Richard Curtis, Andy Hamilton, Mel Smith

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  2. Not the Nine O'Clock News Season 4 Episode 4 - Show Twenty Five
    8.2/10(21 votes)

    #2 - Show Twenty Five

    S4:E4

    Sketches: Embarrassed woman / Question Time / Headbangers / Peep-hole / Hey Bob! / Shoplifters / Restaurant / Porn Photographer / Sommelier / One For The Birds / Roughage K / Snooker / Tomorrow's World - Microchip / Hit and run incident / Strange ID parade / Comedy Chestnuts / Shop Stewards / Jackanory

    Director:Unknown
    Writers:Richard Curtis, Griff Rhys Jones, Mel Smith, John Lloyd

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  3. Not the Nine O'Clock News Season 3 Episode 1 - Not The Nine O'Clock In The Morning News
    8.1/10(25 votes)

    #3 - Not The Nine O'Clock In The Morning News

    S3:E1

    Sketches: The Shining 2 / Cockerel / Punk at a Urinal / That's Lies / Made In Britain / Bank Pens / Sir Robert Mark / Dick Head / TV Licence Advert / Bank Signs / Unemployment / Bhuddist Driving School / Loud Man in Sex Shop / Ansaphone Confessional / Vandalised Phone Kiosks / UFO Story / Workaholics / I Like Trucking / National Theatre

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Richard Curtis

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  4. Not the Nine O'Clock News Season 3 Episode 2 - Election Special
    8.1/10(22 votes)

    #4 - Election Special

    S3:E2

    Sketches: Hedgehog apology / Athletics from Birmingham / Bad Language / Buffet car / Cinema Usher / Shoe Shop Theft / Constable Savage / Fly The Flag / Bath Salts / Laxatives Tested / Burns Unit / Granny's Mini Metro / Explicit Bag / Quick Service Queue / Barbarian Lager / Welsh Choir / England My Leotard / Ice cream van

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Richard Curtis

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  5. Not the Nine O'Clock News Season 3 Episode 8 - Show Twenty One
    8.0/10(22 votes)

    #5 - Show Twenty One

    S3:E8

    Sketches: Announcer / Musical aeroplane / Polish cartoon / Radio controlled ospreys / University Challenge / C'est la Vie (Abba skit) / Age Of Consent / Carol Singers / Christmas Blackmail / Multiplex / Thatchula / Shirley Williams / Coffee Commerical / Sexist Cameraman / Sexism Discussion / Door sketch / SPG Man / Swag Card / Now Dry Your Hands / Ayatollah auction

    Director:Unknown
    Writers:Richard Curtis, Griff Rhys Jones, Mel Smith

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  6. Not the Nine O'Clock News Season 4 Episode 5 - Made In Wales
    8.0/10(23 votes)

    #6 - Made In Wales

    S4:E5

    Sketches: Lawyers / Thugs on bus / Riot Police / Songs Of Praise / Failed In Wales / Choking on pills / Green man / Car crusher / Brain Death / Nurse trapped inside a patient / Riots / Rumbley's Pies / Made From Whales / What A Lot Of Willies! / Blind man crossing the road / Medical students who aren't / Ah, Come In Rawlinson! / Laid In Wales / Typical Bloody Typical

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Richard Curtis

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    The 20 WORST Episodes of Not the Nine O'Clock News

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  7. Not the Nine O'Clock News Season 4 Episode 6 - Shame
    8.0/10(25 votes)

    #7 - Shame

    S4:E6

    Sketches: Punk road painter / Two Ninnies/Two Ninnies Song / Marc Almond / Jogger trying to cross the road / Pub Grub / Arab identifying his wife's body / Parkinson meets Ian Botham / Zak the Alien / Pork Scratchings / Budget / Barefoot thug / Time, Gentlemen, Please / Hey Wow / Pizza Moment / The Memory Kinda Lingers

    Director:Unknown
    Writers:Richard Curtis, Griff Rhys Jones, Mel Smith

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  8. Not the Nine O'Clock News Season 2 Episode 4 - International Darts
    7.9/10(21 votes)

    #8 - International Darts

    S2:E4

    Sketches: International Darts / Milkman's Note / Beat The Cliché / One-man bus / Gone With The Wind / Superman / Cinema Age Restrictions / Tramp / Time Out Lonely Hearts / Late Abortion / Jean Paul Satre / Shop Assistants / Euthanasia / Thoucht For The Day / Confessional / Gob Of The Month / And all because the lady loves...

    Director:Unknown
    Writers:Richard Curtis, Andy Hamilton, Griff Rhys Jones, Mel Smith

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  9. Not the Nine O'Clock News Season 4 Episode 2 - Show Twenty Three
    7.9/10(23 votes)

    #9 - Show Twenty Three

    S4:E2

    Sketches: Ivan The Awful / Game For A Laugh / Public Toilet / Wine Tasting / Home Wine Kit / Aussie Pilot / Does God Exist? / Re-Altered Images / Cricket Commetary / Snooker commentary / Home Organ / Man outside phone box / Tomorrow's World / New Glee / Holiday Habits / Commission for Racial Equality / The Not Team At Home With Their Son / Grow Up You Bastards / Hamlet Advert Skit / Ploughman's Lunch / Mannequins / Pushing a car / Suicide

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Richard Curtis

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  10. Not the Nine O'Clock News Season 2 Episode 7 - Death Lasers Of Kazaan
    7.8/10(21 votes)

    #10 - Death Lasers Of Kazaan

    S2:E7

    Sketches: Confrontation Song / Points Of View / Cannabis / Guinness / Defence Minister / Police station phone call / Metal detector / Restaurant revolutions / Transplant Olympics / Freddie Cosgray / Is smoking safer than crossing the road? / Ayatollah Song / Exam Guide / Police Yob

    Director:Unknown
    Writers:Richard Curtis, Andy Hamilton

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  11. Not the Nine O'Clock News Season 3 Episode 7 - Show Twenty
    7.8/10(23 votes)

    #11 - Show Twenty

    S3:E7

    Sketches: Baronet Oswold Ernold Mosley / Punk aerosol / Queen's Visit / Loyal Apology / Iran & Iraq / Barry Manilow / Cargo Cult / Pneumatic Drills / Kidney Donor / Wimpy worker / Party Political Broadcast / Sperm Donor / Acupuncture / Not The Parrot Sketch / Karate For The Deaf / Divorce Ceremony / Nine To Five / Rolf Harris

    Director:Unknown
    Writers:Richard Curtis, Griff Rhys Jones, Mel Smith

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  12. Not the Nine O'Clock News Season 1 Episode 4 - Show Four
    7.6/10(36 votes)

    #12 - Show Four

    S1:E4

    Sketches: Plane Crash / Mission Ineffable / Scunthorpe strangler / Football Replay / Final Demands / Lifeboatmen / Craftsman's Kitchen / I can't feel my legs / Neurotica / Song: Gob On You

    Director:Unknown
    Writers:Richard Curtis, Richard Sparks

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  13. Not the Nine O'Clock News Season 2 Episode 2 - Show Eight
    7.6/10(23 votes)

    #13 - Show Eight

    S2:E2

    Sketches: Airline Terrorists / Film Certification / Space Invaders / Dinner Party / Awards Ceremony (Sofas) / Alabammy Bound / Prestel / Kleptomania / Vegtarian Hunting Season / Stereoids / Rowan Rants On / Milkman / Ford Cortina / Lead Poisoning / Kiss of life / Government Training Film / Hairdressers / School of archaeology / Aeroplane toilet / Arianna Advert / Boxing in Johannesburg / Rowan Apologises / Clint Eastwood / Debating Point

    Director:Unknown
    Writers:Richard Curtis, Andy Hamilton

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  14. Not the Nine O'Clock News Season 2 Episode 3 - Don't Get Your Vicars In A Twist!
    7.6/10(24 votes)

    #14 - Don't Get Your Vicars In A Twist!

    S2:E3

    Sketches: Russian Army / FIAT Advert / Postman / Railway Announcement / Stout Life / Talking to daffodils / Crime Figures / Out-of-touch Judge / Train cancellation/Announcer breaks down / Glue Sniffing / Suicide / Loud Reporter / James Burke / American Express / President Tito / I Like Bouncing / Abu Ben Adhem

    Director:Unknown
    Writers:Richard Curtis, Griff Rhys Jones, Mel Smith

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  15. Not the Nine O'Clock News Season 4 Episode 1 - Show Twenty Two
    7.6/10(23 votes)

    #15 - Show Twenty Two

    S4:E1

    Sketches: Taxi in restaurant / Breathalyser / Train Driver / Job Creation Scheme / Punk badge / Air dryers / Hospital signs / Mr Bazouki / Aleebee / Cappuccino / National Bank Of Poland / Criminal driver / Nun stunt display / Polish Show / Nice Video Shame About The Song / Caber tosser

    Director:Geoff Posner
    Writer:Richard Curtis

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  16. Not the Nine O'Clock News Season 1 Episode 2 - Show Two
    7.5/10(38 votes)

    #16 - Show Two

    S1:E2

    Sketches: Apology to Princess Margaret / News Headlines / Nicest flag in the EEC / Inflation / Kennedy / Gravity / Equal Opportunities / Blind beggar / Phone Bill Sketch / Forgetful Priests / St Vincent / Rowan's Rant 1 / Suburbs at War / Gay Christian / Keep Fit / Milk Tray

    Director:Unknown
    Writers:Richard Curtis, Andy Hamilton, David Renwick

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  17. Not the Nine O'Clock News Season 1 Episode 6 - Show Six
    7.5/10(33 votes)

    #17 - Show Six

    S1:E6

    Sketches: Royal car visor / Whale delivery / Aliens / John Cleese / General Synod's Life Of Python / Disco For Dentists / Licence fee / Milk float visors / Simultaneous Translation / Donald Sinden / Self-defence / Spies / Sex Shop / Poped / Careers Teacher / Oh! Bosanquet

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Richard Curtis

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  18. Not the Nine O'Clock News Season 2 Episode 6 - Show Twelve
    7.5/10(20 votes)

    #18 - Show Twelve

    S2:E6

    Sketches: Guardsmen / Blood bank sign / Morgue / Parkinson with Billy Connolly / Pottery presenter / Hi-Fi Shop / Campari and Soda / Passport Photos / News For The Deaf / Mugging / The Devil: Is He All Bad? / Contagious spots / Origami / Hitchcock Directs The News / Hidden Switch / Janet Street Porter interviews Billy Connolly

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Richard Curtis

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  19. Not the Nine O'Clock News Season 3 Episode 3 - Miss World
    7.5/10(25 votes)

    #19 - Miss World

    S3:E3

    Sketches: Thatcher out/Thatcher in / Pyjama case / Presidential Aide / Baboons / Walking Into A Tree / TUC Tea Break / Pop Group / Reg Varney / Sooty Surgeon / Soccer Violence / Join The Royal Family / Gay Flasher / Kendal Mint Cake / I Believe / BBC2 Closedown

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Richard Curtis

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  20. Not the Nine O'Clock News Season 1 Episode 5 - Show Five
    7.4/10(33 votes)

    #20 - Show Five

    S1:E5

    Sketches: Baby on the bus / Nativity Sketch / New Jeans / Religious fanatic / Nativity II / Hot Gossip / Church Advertising / Medieval Christmas / Ranting Frenchman / Miss World / Amputation / Trial By Egg / ""Probe"" / Bingo / Rowan Rants Again / Nanny Service / Christmas Carol

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Richard Curtis

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  21. Not the Nine O'Clock News Season 2 Episode 1 - The Outrageously Expensive Not The Nine O'Clock News Show
    7.4/10(26 votes)

    #21 - The Outrageously Expensive Not The Nine O'Clock News Show

    S2:E1

    Sketches: Grand National Skit / Pinball / Helicopter / Alidair Milne / Wimpy Burgers / Non-Diet Pepsi / Car Vandals / The Cost Of A sketch / Dolphin for President / The lesson I learned from Chappaquiddick / Parkinson Meets Parkinson / Maternity Ward / Perfect evening / Lifeboats / The Nancy Boys / Cottage In Wales

    Director:Unknown
    Writers:Richard Curtis, Andy Hamilton

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  22. Not the Nine O'Clock News Season 3 Episode 4 - Show Seventeen
    7.4/10(23 votes)

    #22 - Show Seventeen

    S3:E4

    Sketches: I'm on fire / Nationwide twins / Swedish film centre / ouglas Adams / London tourist board / Sleepy Firemen / Space Salvationists / Girls' Football / Roger Cook / Sir Keith Joseph / Counting Sheep / One Man And His Lion / Return Of Rowan's Rant / Soup and Cocoa / Auld Lang Syne / Controlling TV shows / Big Jobs / Last Of The Mohicans

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Richard Curtis

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  23. Not the Nine O'Clock News Season 3 Episode 5 - Show Eighteen
    7.3/10(22 votes)

    #23 - Show Eighteen

    S3:E5

    Sketches: Ready Brek / Daily Star / Elephant Man / Thieves without stockings to put on their heads but with a pair of tights / Battered Baby / Harty Skit / Sunbed / The Obit / This Is Your Life / Tax Evaders / American Express (Masons) / Open Marriage / Schmidt Old Slag / Cocktail party / Burglar / Cold students / The New Creed / Vicar Breakdown / Lager / All-purpose Advert / Henry Cooper / Chess / Man Alive Skit / Disco which isn't really / Aural sex

    Director:Unknown
    Writers:Andy Hamilton, Griff Rhys Jones, Mel Smith, David Renwick, Andrew Marshall

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  24. Not the Nine O'Clock News Season 1 Episode 1 - Kenny Everett In Not The Nine O'Clock News
    7.2/10(48 votes)

    #24 - Kenny Everett In Not The Nine O'Clock News

    S1:E1

    Sketches: Clapperboard / Tinker, Tailor / Kenny Everett Sketch / Britt Ekland's car / National Wealth Beds / Wilson's Memoirs / Inflatables / Aliens / Vivisection Sketch / On The Moov / Spinning Head / Man With Ten Legs / Tory Conference / Maori Sketch

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Richard Curtis

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  25. Not the Nine O'Clock News Season 1 Episode 3 - Show Three
    7.2/10(40 votes)

    #25 - Show Three

    S1:E3

    Sketches: John Cleese / Suicide / Stringmakers' strike / National Laundromat Week / Murder Scene Sketch / Vote For Jimmy Carter / Hospital Stores / Ayatollah Sketch / Blue Peter / Preacher / The Dead Crocodile / Hole Sculptor / Restaurant / Restrictive Practices Suite / Irish Football

    Director:Unknown
    Writers:Richard Curtis, John Lloyd, Jon Canter

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Best Episodes Summary

"Show Eleven" is the best rated episode of "Not the Nine O'Clock News". It scored 8.2/10 based on 23 votes. Directed by Unknown and written by Richard Curtis, Andy Hamilton, Mel Smith, it aired on 4/28/1980. This episode scored 0.0 points higher than the second highest rated, "Show Twenty Five".