Carl Sagan's team takes on William F. Buckley's.

SCTV's regular programming is interrupted by a Soviet satellite.

A war erupts between the Five Networks when "Don Caballero" refuses to back a pay TV channel.

Hall and Oates star in Bobby Bittman's latest film.

To encourage small business advertising, SCTV cuts its ad rates, resulting in a series of on-the-cheap ads for several micro-entrepreneurs. In the segment "Stars In One" profiles aging child star Rusty Van Reddick. Vic Hedges stars in "Vic Arpeggio, Private Investigator". Steve Roman plugs his Valentine's Day special. Also, a group of philosophers debate whether the animated cartoon 'The Flintstones' was a rip-off of the 1950s sitcom 'The Honeymooners'.

Sammy celebrates a milestone anniversary, sidekick William B walks off the show, and the janitors of SCTV go on strike.

William B Williams returns to the Sammy Maudlin Show. The Shmenges host a beauty pageant. Jackie Rogers Jr. plugs his biographical special, "Jackie, We Hardly Knew Ye".

Bob and Doug McKenzie invite fellow hoser Ian Thomas onto their show.

Everyone is jealous of the attention Guy is paying to Bob and Doug--including giving them their own special.

After discovering that he's opening for Ben Vereen and not the other way around, Bobby Bittman retires from show business. Sammy Maudlin's ex-sidekick, William B. Williams, hosts his own talk show with Irving Cohen. Bernadette Peters gets blown up real good on "Farm Film Celebrity Blow-Up". Also, Episode 9 of "Days of the Week" follows our scandalous characters for more drama. "Sunrise Semester." Finally, Claire Warmel presents "Communicating With Extremities."

It's Sweeps Week and SCTV is promoting specials like "Jumping for Dollars", where large busted women jump up and down while Johnny LaRue watches, and "The Dallas Cowgirls Salute Aaron Copland," which is bit more self-explanatory. We also see the preparation for the special "Night of the Prime Time Stars," which is nearly thwarted when a poltergeist haunts the station, kidnapping Ed Grimley and Gus Gustofferson among others. Also, "Days of the Week" Episode 10 continues. Finally, promos for the miniseries "The Long Hard War."

"Midnight Cowboy II", a takeoff of the original Midnight Cowboy movie. Also, "Whatever Happened to Baby Ed" as a spoof of "Whatever Happed to Baby Jane". The final episode of "The Days of the Week" (with cameos by Catherine O'Hara and Carol Burnett). Finally, "Mel's Rock Pile" hosts the British punk rock band, The Queen Haters, and they trash the place.

Ricardo Montalban is featured in a "To Sir, With Love" parody.

When SCTV wins a suspicious number of awards, Bob Hope notifies the FBI.

Hollywood stars reveal what bugs them; Stan and Yosh Schmenge welcome back a former Happy Wanderer.

Everything comes to a head at Clay and Sue Ellen's wedding; Johnny meets a valuable ally at the bar.

Guy Caballero is busted for writing a bad check to Fred Willard, forcing the arrival of SCTV Chairman Allan "Crazy Legs" Herschman. In 'The Nutty Lab Assistant', Ed Grimley makes his debut in this spoof of 'The Nutty Professor' in which Grimley decides to concoct a potion to make himself more attractive to his girl crush, and he ends up transforming into pop singer John Cougar. Mrs. Falbo's Tiny Town looks at atoms and rainy day activities. Also, Jackie Rogers Jr. promotes his late father's last TV special, "Swingin' With Mother Nature."

The elections in Melonville for various public offices are under way. Mentally unstable Mayor Tommy Shanks is up for re-election against the seedy Vic Hedges. Meanwhile, Libby Wolfson runs for City Council, than becomes infatuated with her opponent. Also, the Shmenge Brothers salute John Williams, Brock Linehan interviews Linda Hopkins. In segment the "Human Sexual Response with Dr. Cheryl Kinsey", the shrink looks at teen dating, and of course, Melonvote Live.

The SCTV office moves into the tallest, thinnest building in Melonville, which turns into a spoof of 'The Towering Inferno' as Guy, Edith, and others are trapped in the 200-story tall building just as a fire breaks out and strands them on the uppers floors. Also, "Peter Pan" starring Divine and David Steinberg. Al Peck sells used fruit. "There's Justice For Everybody" starring Steve Roman. An ad for the Kid Sister Organization. "Monster Chiller Horror Theater." "One On the Town" looks at public transportation. When Wives Look Older Than Their Husbands: Farm Wives. "Let's Find Jerzy." Shakespeare for College Credit. The first "Melonville Calendar," and "Words to Live By" starring Mr. Mambo.

Guy Caballero and Johnny LaRue come to blows over a meager Christmas bonus, resulting in a busted, drunken Johnny desperately tracking down Santa. Segments include Lola Heatherton's "Love Spirit" Christmas Special. Ed Grimley stars in "The Fella Who Couldn't Wait For Christmas." Rex and Edna Boil's Curio Emporium. Count Floyd's "Have Yourself a Scary Little Christmas." The lighting of the Melonville Christmas Tree. The Shmenge brothers explore Leutonian Christmas traditions. "Pre-Teen World Christmas Edition." Bobby Bittman and Jackie Rogers Jr. star in "Christmas - That's All." "You. with Libby Wolfson" looks at Chanukah.

Johnny LaRue is desperate for work after the failure of "Polynesiantown."

SCTV holds a pledge drive.

David Brinkley's look at the human brain includes Walter Cronkite's childhood on Krypton.

Guy runs out of ideas and takes suggestions from the crew.

Gerry Todd hosts a concert special consisting entirely of videos.