Sketches: - Cops - Dream: Bust the queen while drinking tea. - Crushing Hospital: Mr. Tyzik is injured and must undergo physical therapy. - Cops - Dad: Don't love my dad. - Daddy Drank: The story of how daddy drank. - The Leash #1: The slave and master on the street. - Cops - Shelley Long: Enough said. - Knocked Out: A guy knocks himself out. - The Leash #2: Shelly Long. - The Last Straw: Gavin pesters his mother while she's on the phone. - Parenting: Disillusioned parents hold a press conference. - Dead Dad: The Kids discuss beating up their fathers.

Sketches: - Cops - O Canada: Our home and native land. - Trapper: The daily hunt begins. - Cabbage Head - Old Friends: Cabbage Head at it again. - It's Not Working Out #1: Chris is fired. - The Loner: ...And his toe. - It's Not Working Out #2: Chris is fired... again. - Simon & Hecubus: In the Pit of Ultimate Darkness. - It's Not Working Out #3: Chris is fired... one more time. - Girls Of Summer: Coach Buddy does it again.

Sketches: Fact #1: Episode 213 - Stars- Bruce - Recurring Characters- It's a Fact Girl - In short- Her uncle Tony can spit really far. Headcrusher - Rival: Episode 217 - Stars- Kevin, Mark - Recurring Characters- Mr. Tyzik aka "The Headcrusher" - In short- There can be only one. Off Swingin': Episode 201 - Stars- n/a - Recurring Characters- n/a - In Short- The most handsome man in the world. Daddy Drank: Episode 209 - Stars- Dave, Kevin - Recurring Characters- n/a - In Short- A story about how Daddy drank. The Affair: Episode 214 - Stars- Bruce, Kevin, Mark, Scott - Recurring Characters- Darrill - In short- Story of the secret affair. Fact #2 - Queen's ABC's: Episode 211 - Stars- Scott - Recurring Characters- It's a Fact Girl, Queen - In short- The Queen sings her ABCs. The Doctor: Episode 201 - Stars- Dave - Recurring Characters- Bad Doctor - In short- He's not boosting, he's just stating a fact. A Little Something: Episode 203 - Stars- Bruce, Scott - Recurring Characters- Don - In short- Executive has cucumber salad on face. Fact #4 - Neighbors: Episode 213 - Stars- n/a - Recurring Characters- It's a Fact Girl - In short- Her neighbors have been in love for forty-five years. First Time: Episode 215 - Stars- Kevin, Mark - Recurring Characters- Melanie - In short- Melanie has her date over in her parent's bedroom. Girls Of Summer: Episode 202 - Stars- Dave, Bruce, Kevin, Mark, Scott - Recurring Characters- Buddy Cole, Shona, Patty - In short- Buddy manages the Sappho Sluggers.

Sketches: Cops - Prisoner: Episode 205 - Stars- Bruce, Mark - Recurring Characters- Cops - In short- Suspect is locked in car. Comfortable: Episode 201 - Stars- Dave, Mark, Kevin, Scott - Recurring Characters- Nina Spudkneeyak, Nina's husband - In short- Nina's husband makes a "pass" at his old friend's wife. Trapper: Episode 202 - Stars- Dave, Mark, Kevin, Scott - Recurring Characters- Francois, Jacques - In short- The French-Canadian trappers who trap businessmen for their suits. Painting A Chair: Episode 207 - Stars- Bruce, Mark - Recurring Characters- Gavin - In Short- There's this guy and he's paintin' a chair. Cops - Shootout: 205 - Stars- Bruce, Mark - Recurring Characters- Cops - In short- A standoff outside a house. Chicken Lady: Episode 205 - Stars- Dave, Mark, Scott - Recurring Characters- Chicken Lady - In short- Man answers her personal ad. Simon & Hecubus: Episode 202 - Stars- Dave, Kevin, Mark - Recurring Characters- Sir Simon Milligan, Hecubus, Satan - In short- Hecubus proves he is impolite and evil; Satan likes the show. Cops - Dad: Episode 209 - Stars- Bruce, Mark - Recurring Characters- Cops - In short- Never told his Dad he loved him. Hazy Movie: Episode 220 - Stars- Dave, Scott - Recurring Characters- Francesca Fiore, Bruno Puntz Jones - In Short- Man in a bar tries to explain a Francesca Fiore movie. Eating In The Shower: Episode 210 - Stars- Kevin - Recurring Characters- n/a - In short- Over the credits, Kevin eats in the shower.

This Season 5 Best-Of Compilation features fan-favorite sketches: God is Dead, Chicken Lady at the Mall, Hillbilly's Problem, The Convenience Store Worker, Meet Your New Male Slave, and Disgusting Old Man.

Sketches: - Spring: What a man likes about spring. - Comfortable: How comfortable are these couples? - Trucker #2: Truck Owner makes a phone call. - Hard Day: An undercover alien overreacts to innocent questions. - Off Swingin': One cool cat. - The Doctor: How far can you coast on just charm? - Bobby & The Devil: Bobby has a guitar fight with Satan.

Sketches: - M. Piedlourde Donne Un Cuop De Pied An Ballon: Speaks for itself. - Scott's Not Gay: Panic! - First Time: Melanie has a date. - Bad News: He's kinda evil. - Poo Guy: Bruce is the Poo Guy - M. Piedlourde A Une Rende-Vous: Speaks for itself. - Victim: A guy who apparently wants to get beaten up. - Night Of The Cow: The story of the Night of the Cow. - M. Piedlourde Sur La Lune: Speaks for itself.

Crazy Dad (KD)-A man tells a story about his dad locking him up for 10 years, but as a cruel joke. Chicken Lady Goes Home (all)-The chicken lady visits her old house (Chicken Lady, Tucker, Bearded Lady) Assistant Fired (MB)-The 45-year-old man fires his assistant (45 guy) Mixed Up Names (DS)-The bad doctor mixes up files at the hospital (bad doctor) 7 Things To Do (KD)-"Gotta keep on top of my life" (Thug a.k.a. Inept Hitman) Interviewing New Assistant (BM)-He doesn't get the job. He slobbered on the guy's joint. (45 year old guy) Hiring Assistant (B)-He finds a new assistant (45 year old guy) Judy & Fran (DBS)-They meet the new widow (Fran, Gordon, Judy)

Receptionist • Walk A Mile In My Shoes • Cops - Rookie Trick Question • A Soulfulness They Never Had • Cops - Rookie Coffee • Answering Machine • Celebrity • Cops - Rookie Puke • Divorce Court

Skits: Fiore Parfums Commercial - Stars- Scott - Recurring Characters- Francesca Fiore - In short- Smell like a bitch. Things To Do - Stars- Dave, Kevin - Recurring Characters- Thug - In Short- He's gotta keep on top of his life and on top of his schedule. Art Collector - Stars- Bruce, Mark - Recurring Characters- Shirling Guy - In short- Man negotiates the price for a piece of "art" to add to his collection. Who's Hot and Who's Not - Stars- Dave, Kevin, Scott - Recurring Characters- Smitty, Butch, Riley - In short- They guy-watch from the steps. Night I Connected With My Dog - Stars- Bruce - Recurring Characters- n/a - In short- Bruce connects with a dog for which he previously felt nothing. The Life of Cyril St. John - Stars- Dave, Kevin, Mark, Scott - Recurring Characters- n/a - In short- A 70s-style documentary on an escape artist. Gay Marriage - Stars- Dave, Kevin, Scott - Recurring Characters- Smitty, Butch, Riley - In short- They

Skits: Inexperienced Cannibal - Stars- Dave, Kevin, Scott - Recurring Characters- n/a - In short- He didn't get on the plane expecting to eat anyone. Try it NOW! - Stars- Kevin, Scott - Recurring Characters- Danny Husk, Danny's Wife - In short- Maybe the uh spark plugs aren't firing. Sock Puppet - Stars- Dave, Scott - Recurring Characters- Jocelyn, Maudre - In Short- It's for nervous johns. Do Re Mi - Stars- Dave, Bruce, Kevin, Mark, Scott - Recurring Characters- n/a - In short- Turning that frown upside down. Anal Probing Aliens - Stars- Dave, Kevin, Mark - Recurring Characters- Tucker - In short- Alien questions the point to his work. Transvestite - Stars- Dave, Scott - Recurring Characters- Jocelyn, Maudre - In short- A man wants to know if Maudre is one. Answering Machine - Stars- Bruce, Kevin - Recurring Characters- n/a - In short- Husband and wife make their answering machine greeting. Chicken Lady Goes Home - Stars- Dave, Bruce,

End of the Beginning (P)(5): Bellini listens to the radio (Paul Bellini) • Armada Grows Old (MBK)(5): Armada sees the future (Armada) • The Sixth Kid (all)(5): Jeff Berman tribute • Buddy's Bar - Closure (S)(5): Buddy closes the bar • On Censorship (KDB)(5): ""recap"" of censored episodes • A.T. Buyout (all)(5): Everyone is fired (Cathy, Kathie, Tanya, Ms. Ferguson, Secretary, A.T. Boss) • Burial (all+P)(5): the boys are buried and Bellini speaks! (Paul Bellini)

Sign of Loneliness, Networking, Lopez 1, Fat Hitch-Hiker, Lopez 2, No Regrets, The Lamp, Lopez 3, Indian Woman, Lopez 4 Sketches: - Signs Of Loneliness: What's happening in the lonely city. - Networking: Gerald and Gerald network at a business party. - Lopez #1: Man calls out for Lopez outside of a house. - Fat Hitch-hiker: Man gives a "fat" guy a lift. - Lopez #2: Lopez continued. - No Regrets: Man criticizes donut shop customers. - The Lamp: Man who has to call the wife of a man who was killed by a lamp. - Lopez #3: Lopez continued. - Indian Woman: Boy who has decided to become an Indian woman. - Lopez #4: Credits.

Sketches: Death Row: Episode 115 - Stars- Dave, Bruce, Kevin, Mark - Recurring Characters- Melanie - In short- Girls discuss cutest boy on death row. Banker Doesn't Like Us: Episode 108 - Stars- Dave, Kevin, Scott - Recurring Characters- "Nobody Likes Us" Guys - In Short- They can't get a loan because Elinor doesn't like them. Buddy's Better: Episode 102 - Stars- Scott - Recurring Characters- Buddy Cole - In short- Buddy comments on what "they say" about the races. Crushing Your Head #2: Episode 101 - Stars- Dave, Bruce, Mark, Kevin, Scott - Recurring Characters- Mr. Tiscic aka Mr. Tyzik aka the Headcrusher - In Short- The Headcrusher crushes businessmen's heads. Citizen Kane: Episode 103 - Stars- Bruce, Kevin, Scott - Recurring Characters- n/a - In Short- It was Citizen Kane...or maybe it was Psycho. Car Ride: Episode 119 - Stars- Bruce - Recurring Characters- n/a - In short- The $300 car. Womyn: Episode #102 - Stars- Dave, B

Sketches: - Cops - Good Cop/Bad Cop: They're getting the hang of it. - Brad & The Phone: A guy calls for phone sex. - Fact #1: Uncle Tony. - Book, Bottle, Blonde: A story of a guy who writes children's books. - Cops - Money: Best thing about being a cop. - Shoes: Evan the intense shoe salesman. - Evil T: Maybe it's the letters? - Fact #5: Bigfoot Singing. - Heckler: Mississippi Gary is heckled. - Fact #4: Neighbors in love. - The Long Note: The Kids visit Bruce as he recovers from his suicide attempt.

Sketches: - Report: A man coughs up the report in a business meeting. - Gandar #1: An attempt at hypnosis. - M. Piedlourde Court Un Marathon: Speaks for itself. - Jazz Music: Bruce hates jazz. - Gandar #2: Hypnosis attempt continued. - Touch Bellini: Announcement of the contest winner. - The Affair: Story of the secret affair. - M. Piedlourde Essait L'Auto: Speaks for itself. - Queen To Queen: Buddy and the Queen's correspondence.

Sketches: - Thousand Dollars: Song in a western bar. - Cops - Towing: Ticketing my car. - Decorator #1: A man gets a demon to brighten up his apartment. - Headcrusher - Rival: A battle to the death. - Shortest: They haven't got a clue. - Bellini Finale: Bellini gets touched. - Cops - Graveyard: First traffic ticket. - Governor: A governor talks with hooker. - Ham Of Truth: It's F-ing good ham. - Decorator #2: Credits

Sketches: - Clandestine Meeting #1: Humanoids for Humanism plan to kill Cabbage Head. - The Letter: A disturbing piece of mail. - Plungers: A man talks about a great plunger salesman. - Clandestine Meeting #2: Cabbage Head is shot! - Fact #7: Aliens - Mr. Pin: Pin waiting in grocery store line impatiently. - Liza's Party: Weston Esterhazy's Hollywood spoon-head movie. - Clandestine Meeting #3: Cabbage Head in Heaven.

Sketches: - The Cure: A man embarrasses his friend at a bar. - Secretaries - Logey: The office is exhausted. - Thirty Second Stories - Tess: Who Built Cars - Directions: A guy who speaks English meets a guy who claims to speak no English. - Excellent Guy - Big Brother: Darryl spends time with his "Little Brother." - Thirty Second Stories - Office Party: Shame! - Taxpayer: A bad sketch is a waste of taxpayer money. - Thirty Second Stories - Fries: The Stones concert. - Into The Doors: A man in record store thinks about getting a Doors album.

Sketches: - Lively Party: A group of people play charades. - Butcher Shop: Gavin prices meat in a butcher shop - Cops - Sexism: Is it real? - Who's To Blame: The boss looks for someone to blame! - Cops - Clouds: What do they look like? - Having Tea: Two destructive guys have a tea party. - Faux Pas:: A man makes inappropriate comments. - Cops - Partners: What happened to them. - Messages: He is the best. - Tube Top Of Justice: What a story. - Hazy Movie: A man in a bar tries to explain a Francesca Fiore movie.

Alan Bouvier • Career Crisis • Nice Day For Work • Hookers - Plastic Surgery • Armada - Understudy • Hookers - Commitment • Lost and Found • Clothesline • Hookers - Too Easy • Comfortable High

The Test-Tube Baby (SD)(5): man complains about being a test-tube baby • Kathie & Dry Cleaner (BMSK)(5): Kathie sleeps with dry cleaner (Kathie, Cathy, Tanya, Secretary, Bigot Cabbie) • Whores (DSK)(5): first timer (Whores, Rudy) • Starving Street Singers (BKM)(5): street singers look for food (Street Singers) • Communist Threat (DK)(5): man talks about the communist threat • Whores (SK)(5): Maudre pretends to be Rudy's wife (Maudre, Rudy) • Man's Girlfriend's Jobs (all)(5): man who wants girlfriends with various jobs

Ping Pong, The Vacation, Ping Pong 2, Chain Gang, The Banker Doesn't Like Us, Dinosaurs, Ping Pong 3, Tony Comes to Dinner, The Banker Doesn't Like Us 2 Sketches: - Ping Pong #1: The annoying ping pong watcher's commentary. - The Vacation: The family blowout before the trip. - Ping Pong #2: The annoying ping pong watcher. - Chain Gang: Guy from the chain gang is recognized in a restaurant. - Banker Doesn't Like Us #1: The ""Nobody Likes Us"" Guys try to get a loan. - Dinosaurs: Buddy talks about dinosaurs' bad manners - Ping Pong #3: The annoying ping pong watcher. - Tony Comes To Dinner: White girl brings home a black boyfriend to meet her parents. - Banker Doesn't Like Us #2: The ""Nobody Likes Us"" Guys continued.

Editors Intro, Editors (Film), Break Up, I Lied, Dull Death, I'm a Cat, My Routine, Schoolroom, Editors Finale Sketches: - Editors Intro: Editors discuss what to cut. - Breakup: Song about Bobby's breakup. - Editors #2: Editors discuss what to cut continued. - I Lied: Story of a man and his father. - Dull Death: The guy with the life-after death experience. - I'm A Cat The life of a cat, with the cat jazz band. - My Routine: The everyday routine of one man. - Schoolroom: Boring teacher has affair during class. - Editors Finale : Editors discuss what to cut continued.

Sketches: - Lady Is A Tramp #1: A man tries to befriend a whore. - Meet The Geralds: Gerald is in a slump - I'm English: Thinks everyone should speak English. - Lady Is A Tramp #2: Man proposes to the Lady. - Painting A Chair: Gavin pesters a guy painting a chair. - The Lack-O-Trust Blues: Philanderer sings a song in a western bar. - Lady Is A Tramp #3: Lady is a Tramp 30 years later.