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A parody of "Baywatch" featuring Malibu Adjacent's Notch Johnson, the world's greatest lifeguard (hardly), and his unit SPF-30.
Genre:Comedy
Network:FX
Select Season:

Season 1

  • With Sex You Get Eggroll
    7.2/1051 votes
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    With Sex You Get Eggroll

    Season 1 Episode 1 - Aired 3/14/2000

    The Mayor wants Head Lifeguard Notch Johnson out of Malibu Adjacent, and she's recruited Kimberlee Clark to join his squad and get the low-down on him by wearing a mini-camera. She thinks that her work is done when Notch decides to bust enslaved girls from a whore house from the inside, by posing as a customer. If the slavers don't get Notch, the Mayor's video will. Or will Kimberlee help Notch to save the day?

    Director: N/A

    Writer: Timothy Stack, James R. Stein

  • Silence of the Clams
    7.3/1044 votes
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    Silence of the Clams

    Season 1 Episode 2 - Aired 3/21/2000

    A unpopular girl, doesn't have a date for ""Clamapolooza"" in a end party for the college students spring break. She starts to polute the beach to close this event.

    Director: Scott McAboy

    Writer: Timothy Stack, James R. Stein

  • In the G-Hetto
    7.2/1037 votes
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    In the G-Hetto

    Season 1 Episode 3 - Aired 3/28/2000

    When Jamaica is blackmailed into running drugs for a gangsta, Notch insists upon taking her place as the "mule". After all, who else can swallow 13 cocaine-filled condoms and then swim two miles? Also, Chip enters the Mr. Pec pageant. The Mayor's a judge, and she's got a guaranteed way for Chip to win.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: Timothy Stack, James R. Stein

  • Love, Native American Style
    6.9/1037 votes
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    Love, Native American Style

    Season 1 Episode 4 - Aired 4/4/2000

    Notch is distraught when his step-father, local Indian Chief Pokemon, passes on, and a local casino developer convinces the Kahonee Tribe to construct a casino on their land. Although the deal's crooked, Notch is no Indian giver, and he seeks a legal way to halt construction. Also, Chip's South American relatives need money, so Chip moonlights as a male stripper.

    Director: Scott McAboy

    Writer: N/A

  • Two Thongs Don't Make a Right
    7.2/1038 votes
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    Two Thongs Don't Make a Right

    Season 1 Episode 5 - Aired 4/11/2000

    When Little Peter Gozinya disappears on the beach, Notch and the gang mobilize to find him. And also mobilize to repeal the Mayor's ban on thong bikinis. Which effort will prove successful?

    Director: Scott McAboy

    Writer: Timothy Stack, James R. Stein

  • Fanny and the Professor
    6.7/1037 votes
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    Fanny and the Professor

    Season 1 Episode 6 - Aired 4/18/2000

    The Mayor with help from The Professor, plot to take over Notch's job and the beach with three beautiful robot lifeguards.

    Director: Scott McAboy

    Writer: N/A

  • Eat My Muffin
    7.1/1036 votes
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    Eat My Muffin

    Season 1 Episode 7 - Aired 8/1/2000

    When BJ muffs a save, she goes into an identity crisis and ends up in the care of The Divine Rod, who runs a home for lost women. And runs a web-site where people pay to watch the women, and Rod, um, ""treating"" them. Under Notch's direction, Kimberlee infiltrates the cult and snatches it's secret: psychotropic-drug-laced bran muffins. Realizing that BJ is under someone else's control, the bran muffins move Notch into action. Meanwhile, the Tetherball Invitational Tournament is in town, and the Mayor's bet that the gang can win.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: Timothy Stack, James R. Stein

  • Miso Honei
    7.2/1039 votes
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    Miso Honei

    Season 1 Episode 8 - Aired 8/8/2000

    When the world's most dangerous tsunami, Miso Honei, is detected rushing at Malibu Adjacent, the Mayor senses a media event and tries to get Notch to surf it. He refuses until the Mayor grants a parole to the only other surfer capable of surviving the wave, Adolf Manson. Manson's bad boy image wows Malibu Adjacent's impressionable children. Will Notch jump on Miso Honei for the kids and ride it safely to shore? Also, Chip and B.J. fall in love and decide to quit the force.

    Director: Gloria Muzio

    Writer: N/A

  • South of Her Border
    7.2/1042 votes
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    South of Her Border

    Season 1 Episode 9 - Aired 8/15/2000

    When Notch and the girls travel to the South American nation of Humidor to stop a military coup, they end up in prison instead. The shackles aren't so bad, but the all-bean diet? Ai, ai, ai. Can they escape in time to stop the coup? While the others are gone, Chip runs a junior lifeguard program.

    Director: Scott McAboy

    Writer: Timothy Stack, James R. Stein

  • Day of the Jackass
    7.0/1033 votes
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    Day of the Jackass

    Season 1 Episode 10 - Aired 8/22/2000

    Malibu Adjacent is hosting a peace conference between China and Africa, and Notch has been banned from attending. That would be no problem, except Notch's old Army Secret Ops buddy, Captain ""Buck"" Enteneille has shown up and wants to go. It's even more of a problem when Notch sees him going anyway, with a sniper rifle. Can Notch stop Enteneille from ruining the conference, and still keep his friendship with Buck? Tune in. Also, Jamaica falls in love with an African prince.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • A Star Is Boned
    7.0/1036 votes
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    A Star Is Boned

    Season 1 Episode 11 - Aired 8/29/2000

    The glamour of Hollywood is hitting the beaches of Malibu Adjacent: the fabulous stars, the adoring crowds, the death threats. Notch Johnson joins the case when actress Regina Streep is almost killed on his beach. Can Notch find the assailant before they grab Regina? Also, Jamaica runs a bachelor auction.

    Director: Scott McAboy

    Writer: Timothy Stack, James R. Stein

  • Attack of the Cocktopuss
    7.1/1042 votes
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    Attack of the Cocktopuss

    Season 1 Episode 12 - Aired 9/5/2000

    When the Cocktopuss sets shores on the beach, the mayor wants it as another wonder of the world. Chip sings for a rock band.

    Director: Scott McAboy

    Writer: Timothy Stack, James R. Stein

  • Mario Putzo's... The Last Dong
    7.2/1037 votes
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    Mario Putzo's... The Last Dong

    Season 1 Episode 13 - Aired 9/12/2000

    Vinnie Fellachio returns to terrorizes the beach. Chip's sister, Ava Rommel visits him, and puts the moves on B.J.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: Timothy Stack, James R. Stein