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The Worst Episodes of Son of the Beach

Every episode of Son of the Beach ranked from worst to best. Explore the Worst Episodes of Son of the Beach!

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A parody of "Baywatch" featuring Malibu Adjacent's Notch Johnson, the world's greatest lifeguard (hardly), and his unit SPF-30.

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Seasons3

#1 Worst Episode
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#1 - Silence of the Clams
S1:E23/21/2000
A unpopular girl, doesn't have a date for ""Clamapolooza"" in a end party for the college students spring break. She starts to polute the beach to close this event.
Director:Scott McAboy
Writers:James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
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Director:Scott McAboy
Writers:James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
0.0/10(0 votes)
#2 - In the G-Hetto
S1:E33/28/2000
When Jamaica is blackmailed into running drugs for a gangsta, Notch insists upon taking her place as the "mule". After all, who else can swallow 13 cocaine-filled condoms and then swim two miles? Also, Chip enters the Mr. Pec pageant. The Mayor's a judge, and she's got a guaranteed way for Chip to win.
Director:Unknown
Writers:James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
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Director:Unknown
Writers:James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
0.0/10(0 votes)
#3 - Love, Native American Style
S1:E44/4/2000
Notch is distraught when his step-father, local Indian Chief Pokemon, passes on, and a local casino developer convinces the Kahonee Tribe to construct a casino on their land. Although the deal's crooked, Notch is no Indian giver, and he seeks a legal way to halt construction. Also, Chip's South American relatives need money, so Chip moonlights as a male stripper.
Director:Scott McAboy
Writer:Unknown
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Director:Scott McAboy
Writer:Unknown
0.0/10(0 votes)
#4 - Two Thongs Don't Make a Right
S1:E54/11/2000
When Little Peter Gozinya disappears on the beach, Notch and the gang mobilize to find him. And also mobilize to repeal the Mayor's ban on thong bikinis. Which effort will prove successful?
Director:Scott McAboy
Writers:James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
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Director:Scott McAboy
Writers:James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
0.0/10(0 votes)
#5 - Fanny and the Professor
S1:E64/18/2000
The Mayor with help from The Professor, plot to take over Notch's job and the beach with three beautiful robot lifeguards.
Director:Scott McAboy
Writer:Unknown
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Director:Scott McAboy
Writer:Unknown
0.0/10(0 votes)
#6 - Eat My Muffin
S1:E78/1/2000
When BJ muffs a save, she goes into an identity crisis and ends up in the care of The Divine Rod, who runs a home for lost women. And runs a web-site where people pay to watch the women, and Rod, um, ""treating"" them. Under Notch's direction, Kimberlee infiltrates the cult and snatches it's secret: psychotropic-drug-laced bran muffins. Realizing that BJ is under someone else's control, the bran muffins move Notch into action. Meanwhile, the Tetherball Invitational Tournament is in town, and the Mayor's bet that the gang can win.
Director:Unknown
Writers:James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
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Director:Unknown
Writers:James R. Stein, Timothy Stack

The 20 BEST Episodes of Son of the Beach

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#7 - Miso Honei
S1:E88/8/2000
When the world's most dangerous tsunami, Miso Honei, is detected rushing at Malibu Adjacent, the Mayor senses a media event and tries to get Notch to surf it. He refuses until the Mayor grants a parole to the only other surfer capable of surviving the wave, Adolf Manson. Manson's bad boy image wows Malibu Adjacent's impressionable children. Will Notch jump on Miso Honei for the kids and ride it safely to shore? Also, Chip and B.J. fall in love and decide to quit the force.
Director:Gloria Muzio
Writer:Unknown
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Director:Gloria Muzio
Writer:Unknown
0.0/10(0 votes)
#8 - South of Her Border
S1:E98/15/2000
When Notch and the girls travel to the South American nation of Humidor to stop a military coup, they end up in prison instead. The shackles aren't so bad, but the all-bean diet? Ai, ai, ai. Can they escape in time to stop the coup? While the others are gone, Chip runs a junior lifeguard program.
Director:Scott McAboy
Writers:James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
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Director:Scott McAboy
Writers:James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
0.0/10(0 votes)
#9 - Day of the Jackass
S1:E108/22/2000
Malibu Adjacent is hosting a peace conference between China and Africa, and Notch has been banned from attending. That would be no problem, except Notch's old Army Secret Ops buddy, Captain ""Buck"" Enteneille has shown up and wants to go. It's even more of a problem when Notch sees him going anyway, with a sniper rifle. Can Notch stop Enteneille from ruining the conference, and still keep his friendship with Buck? Tune in. Also, Jamaica falls in love with an African prince.
Director:Unknown
Writer:Unknown
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Director:Unknown
Writer:Unknown
0.0/10(0 votes)
#10 - A Star Is Boned
S1:E118/29/2000
The glamour of Hollywood is hitting the beaches of Malibu Adjacent: the fabulous stars, the adoring crowds, the death threats. Notch Johnson joins the case when actress Regina Streep is almost killed on his beach. Can Notch find the assailant before they grab Regina? Also, Jamaica runs a bachelor auction.
Director:Scott McAboy
Writers:James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
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Director:Scott McAboy
Writers:James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
0.0/10(0 votes)
#11 - Attack of the Cocktopuss
S1:E129/5/2000
When the Cocktopuss sets shores on the beach, the mayor wants it as another wonder of the world. Chip sings for a rock band.
Director:Scott McAboy
Writers:James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
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Director:Scott McAboy
Writers:James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
0.0/10(0 votes)
#12 - Mario Putzo's... The Last Dong
S1:E139/12/2000
Vinnie Fellachio returns to terrorizes the beach. Chip's sister, Ava Rommel visits him, and puts the moves on B.J.
Director:Unknown
Writers:James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
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Director:Unknown
Writers:James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
0.0/10(0 votes)
#13 - B.J. Blue Hawaii
S2:E13/13/2001
Notch gets honored by the Hawaiian Tropic so he and the gang go to Hawaii. Notch meets up with an old friend and discovers that his daughter is a drug lord growing Marijuana, Cocaine, Methadone, and Hashish so he and Kimberlee team up to stop her. Meanwhile, Jamaica and B.J. enter a Miss Hawaiian Tropic Contest. Also, Chip pretends that he is gay to get the mayor to stop trying to get him in bed.
Director:Tim Andrew
Writer:Unknown
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Director:Tim Andrew
Writer:Unknown
0.0/10(0 votes)
#14 - From Russia with Johnson
S2:E23/20/2001
Notch and his unit must stop a Russian terrorist.
Director:Scott McAboy
Writers:Joe Port, Joe Wiseman
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Director:Scott McAboy
Writers:Joe Port, Joe Wiseman
0.0/10(0 votes)
#15 - Remember Her Titans
S2:E33/27/2001
Jamaica's boyfriend has a problem with gambling, and is majorly in debt. Since Jamaica's boyfriend doesn't have the money, he is told by the bookie that he will let it slide if he throws the game. When he doesn't agree, he breaks his leg so that he can't play. Notch decides that he will fill in for him at the game and he is allowed to fill in for him because he never finished high school. Meanwhile, Kody's father comes to Malibu Adjacent from the U.K. to ask Kody to go back and live with him.
Director:Scott McAboy
Writers:James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
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Director:Scott McAboy
Writers:James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
0.0/10(0 votes)
#16 - Rod Strikes Back
S2:E44/3/2001
Rod returns and wants his revenge on everyone, Especially for B.J.; Chip's dog ""shitsu"" (sp?) arrives at Malibu Adjacent and challenges Steve.
Director:Scott McAboy
Writers:James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
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Director:Scott McAboy
Writers:James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
0.0/10(0 votes)
#17 - Queefer Madness
S2:E54/10/2001
The beach is terrorized by a gang of bad boys.
Director:Scott McAboy
Writers:James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
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Director:Scott McAboy
Writers:James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
0.0/10(0 votes)
#18 - Light My Firebush
S2:E64/17/2001
Notch hires his half Indian sister as a life guard and uses savages techniques to help the beach. B.J. is reunited with her mother Ima Cummings. But her (step) daddy butts in her life and threatens B.J. and Ima's lives.
Director:Tim Andrew
Writers:Joe Port, Joe Wiseman
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Director:Tim Andrew
Writers:Joe Port, Joe Wiseman
0.0/10(0 votes)
#19 - Chip's a Goy
S2:E74/24/2001
Needing some R&R, the Gang heads to the tranquil Middle East. Their visit with Notch's Israeli counterpart, Noccus Johnstein, is cut short, however, when evil terrorist group HUMMUS kidnaps Notch. Can the Gang save their fearless leader, or will HUMMUS crush them like so many chickpeas? In the meantime, Chip falls in love with Noccus' daughter, Chcch, and agrees to convert to Judaism. He soon finds this means giving up much more than he bargained for.
Director:Scott McAboy
Writer:Unknown
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Director:Scott McAboy
Writer:Unknown
0.0/10(0 votes)
#20 - A Tale of Two Johnsons
S2:E85/29/2001
When an evil crime syndicate clones an operative to look like Notch, the Gang is suddenly seeing double. The real Notch Johnson must stop ""Evil Notch"" from wreaking havoc in Malibu Adjacent. Can Notch beat himself? Also, Kimberlee's old boyfriend, a musician, comes to town and tries to get Kimberlee to come back to him.
Director:John Putch
Writers:Joe Port, Joe Wiseman
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Director:John Putch
Writers:Joe Port, Joe Wiseman
0.0/10(0 votes)
#21 - It's a Nude, Nude, Nude, Nude World
S2:E96/5/2001
The Nude-lympics come to Malibu Adjacent, and someone is killing beautiful, naked women because he feels they are 'Dirty'. Mayor Anita wants to cover up the story, but SPF-30 is at work cracking the case. Kimberlee lands a date with the murderer unaware until he arrives to pick her up that he is the killer of all the women. While on her date, Kimberlee makes a private call to Notch telling him that she is with him but the killer finds out and then tries to kill Kimberlee until Notch and the gang come along to save her.
Director:Tim Andrew
Writers:James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
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Director:Tim Andrew
Writers:James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
0.0/10(0 votes)
#22 - It's Showtime at the Apollo 13!
S2:E106/12/2001
Jamaica is chosen as the first black lifeguard in space aboard the shuttle <em>Catastrophe</em>; Notch goes undercover at the Robert Downey, Jr. Senior High School when a student hacks into the shuttle computer and endangers the mission.
Director:Scott McAboy
Writer:Unknown
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Director:Scott McAboy
Writer:Unknown
0.0/10(0 votes)
#23 - The Island of Dr. Merlot
S2:E111/19/2001
B.J. and Notch crashes on an island while riding in his airplane, Dr. Merlot decides to make them his throphys.
Director:John Putch
Writers:James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
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Director:John Putch
Writers:James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
0.0/10(0 votes)
#24 - The Sexorcist
S2:E126/26/2001
Jamaica has just come back from her vacation and came back with gifts, including a bottle that everyone was afraid of when she was there. Jamaica gives the bottle to B.J. and she opens it and becomes possessed by the devil. Notch has to overcome his past failure at exorcising and get the devil out of B.J. and keep him from repossessing her. Meanwhile, the Mayor's knack for sexually harassing Chip threatens her career when an uptight reporter, with political aspirations of her own, gets wind.
Director:Unknown
Writer:Unknown
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Director:Unknown
Writer:Unknown
0.0/10(0 votes)
#25 - Grand Prix
S2:E137/3/2001
Notch must defend the honor of America in a three-quarter midget car race vs. a man from France. The Frenchman, who goes by the nickname ""The Frenchman"", is married to Notch's old flame, a beautiful French maiden named Nicorette. After her reappearance on the scene, Notch realizes she's a hard habit to break. Meanwhile, B.J. and Jamiaca help save a lesbian bar from going under.
Director:Scott McAboy
Writers:Joe Port, Joe Wiseman
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Director:Scott McAboy
Writers:Joe Port, Joe Wiseman

Worst Episodes Summary

"Silence of the Clams" is the worst rated episode of "Son of the Beach". It scored /10 based on 0 votes. Directed by Scott McAboy and written by James R. Stein, Timothy Stack, it aired on 3/21/2000. This episode scored 0.0 points lower than the second lowest rated, "In the G-Hetto".