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The Worst Episodes of The Detectives

Every episode of The Detectives ranked from worst to best. Explore the Worst Episodes of The Detectives!

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The absurd adventures of two defective detectives, who - despite unbelievable incompetence - somehow manage to solve their cases (or be nearby when the cases are solved) and retain their jobs.

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Episode Rankings

  1. #1 Worst Episode
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    The Detectives Season 3 Episode 4 - On Thin Ice
    7.4/10(32 votes)

    #1 - On Thin Ice

    S3:E4

    When Briggs and Louis investigate an attack on a top figure skater, the pair wind up on ice but fail to gain marks for artistic interpretation.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  2. The Detectives Season 5 Episode 5 - Best Man
    7.5/10(29 votes)

    #2 - Best Man

    S5:E5

    Much to his and everybody else's astonishment, Briggs is chosen to be best man at a colleague's wedding. When he discovers just who the bride's father is, Briggs isn't exactly keen either...

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  3. The Detectives Season 3 Episode 3 - Art Attack
    7.6/10(32 votes)

    #3 - Art Attack

    S3:E3

    When forced to transfer into the Fine Arts Squad, our heroes are despatched to recover the latest artistic creation of 'enfant terrible' Hadyn Smailes - a pair of maracas, a tin of peaches and a fish tank of the artist's own urine.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  4. The Detectives Season 4 Episode 3 - Back To Class
    7.6/10(31 votes)

    #4 - Back To Class

    S4:E3

    After Briggs and Louis manage to murder the last female white-flippered turtle on the planet, they are only too pleased to investigate a drug scandal at an exclusive girls school.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  5. The Detectives Season 5 Episode 1 - Special Branch
    7.6/10(31 votes)

    #5 - Special Branch

    S5:E1

    The Superintendent selects the duo for a particularly sensitive assignment. His granddaughter has become involved in an anti-road protest and he needs Louis and Briggs to 'rescue' her.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  6. The Detectives Season 2 Episode 3 - Never Without Protection
    7.7/10(36 votes)

    #6 - Never Without Protection

    S2:E3

    A Duchess keeps appearing in the tabloids canoodling withher police bodyguards. What the Super needs are two completely unappealing detectives...

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  7. The Detectives Season 3 Episode 6 - Twitchers
    7.7/10(33 votes)

    #7 - Twitchers

    S3:E6

    Briggs and Louis are assigned a case protecting the eggs of a newly-discovered breeding pair of red kites. Teir lack of enthusiasm soon turns to panic as the eggs are stolen.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  8. The Detectives Season 4 Episode 5 - The Wembley Stadium Mystery
    7.7/10(33 votes)

    #8 - The Wembley Stadium Mystery

    S4:E5

    Although Louis and Briggs have been assigned to a security operation at Wembley Stadium, they have their minds on winning the police table football tournament.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  9. The Detectives Season 5 Episode 3 - The Beast Of Hackney Marshes
    7.7/10(31 votes)

    #9 - The Beast Of Hackney Marshes

    S5:E3

    A night patrolling the marshes, on the lookout for an escaped bear, is really not what our heroes had in mind - particularly when their umbrella act for the Super's variety show is really coming together.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  10. The Detectives Season 5 Episode 6 - Mine's A Large One
    7.7/10(33 votes)

    #10 - Mine's A Large One

    S5:E6

    Briggs and Louis have found their true vocation - the river police. With peace, quiet and the total absence of any type of crime, it seems like paradise. Then the boat runs into an unexploded WWII river mine...

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  11. The Detectives Season 1 Episode 1 - What The Butler Saw
    7.8/10(49 votes)

    #11 - What The Butler Saw

    S1:E1

    When the Earl of Lisson is murdered, Briggs and Louis try to discover ""who dunnit"".

    Director:Ed Bye
    Writer:Unknown

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  12. The Detectives Season 1 Episode 3 - Teed Off
    7.8/10(43 votes)

    #12 - Teed Off

    S1:E3

    Johnny McKenna is an arms dealer and a keen golfer. Briggs and Louis have to get evidence of his illegal activities.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  13. The Detectives Season 1 Episode 4 - Acting Constables
    7.8/10(45 votes)

    #13 - Acting Constables

    S1:E4

    Briggs and Louis are assigned to act as advisors for a TV police drama.

    Director:Ed Bye
    Writer:Unknown

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  14. The Detectives Season 3 Episode 2 - Flash
    7.8/10(30 votes)

    #14 - Flash

    S3:E2

    After mixing their drinks at the policemen's ball, Louis and Briggs confront a new horror involving a flasher, a Marquess and the commissioner's wife.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  15. The Detectives Season 4 Episode 4 - Sacked
    7.9/10(31 votes)

    #15 - Sacked

    S4:E4

    Briggs and Louis mistake the new Superintendent for a stripper at Cattams farewell party.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  16. The Detectives Season 5 Episode 2 - Cardiac Arrest
    7.9/10(38 votes)

    #16 - Cardiac Arrest

    S5:E2

    When a gang member is shot during a getaway, Briggs and Louis are dispatched to the hospital. But with so many sick people, doctors and nurses around, Louis' hypochondria knows no bounds...

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  17. The Detectives Season 5 Episode 4 - The Curse Of The Comanches
    8.0/10(33 votes)

    #17 - The Curse Of The Comanches

    S5:E4

    When Briggs and Louis, helped by a mysterious Commanch Chief, go on the hunt for a sacred Indian carving, they soon find themselves on the trail of tragedy, death and disaster...

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  18. The Detectives Season 1 Episode 6 - Strangers In Paradise
    8.1/10(47 votes)

    #18 - Strangers In Paradise

    S1:E6

    Gangster Tony Mazola has been murdered. Superintendent Cottam thinks that gang warfare may be about to start. He sends Briggs and Louis on an undercover assignment to the Paradise Club in the East End of London.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  19. The Detectives Season 2 Episode 2 - Witness
    8.2/10(37 votes)

    #19 - Witness

    S2:E2

    Two tough detectives are required to go undercover at a monastery. Unable to find any, the Super employs Briggs and Louis.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  20. The Detectives Season 3 Episode 5 - Between A Rock And A Hard Place
    8.2/10(35 votes)

    #20 - Between A Rock And A Hard Place

    S3:E5

    After 30 years of watching and waiting, Superintendent Cottam ropes the boys into helping him catch notorious bullion thief, Ronnie Richardson.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  21. The Detectives Season 4 Episode 1 - The Great Escaper
    8.2/10(33 votes)

    #21 - The Great Escaper

    S4:E1

    Louis and Briggs are cuffed to a notoriously slippery customer as they escort him to his latest prison by train. So how do they end up crossing the Yorkshire moors carrying a toilet door?

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  22. The Detectives Season 2 Episode 4 - Dutch Cops
    8.3/10(36 votes)

    #22 - Dutch Cops

    S2:E4

    On Customs and Excise duty, Briggs and Louis find themselves trapped in the back of a pilchard lorry - with a large quantity of diamonds.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  23. The Detectives Season 2 Episode 5 - Sparring Partners
    8.3/10(32 votes)

    #23 - Sparring Partners

    S2:E5

    Briggs and Louis masquerade as the manager and trainer of a boxer as they investigate a steroid that promotes raw aggression - and enhances sexual prowess.

    Director:Ed Bye
    Writer:Unknown

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  24. The Detectives Season 1 Episode 5 - Studs
    8.4/10(46 votes)

    #24 - Studs

    S1:E5

    Briggs and Louis find themselves on an assignment in Jersey. It isn't long before they get on the wrong side of Jim Bergerac.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  25. The Detectives Season 2 Episode 6 - Rear Window
    8.4/10(41 votes)

    #25 - Rear Window

    S2:E6

    Louis witnesses a brutal crime of passion while confined to a wheelchair, but has trouble convincing Briggs that it wasn't all in his mind.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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Worst Episodes Summary

"On Thin Ice" is the worst rated episode of "The Detectives". It scored 7.4/10 based on 32 votes. Directed by Unknown and written by Unknown, it aired on 1/30/1995. This episode scored 0.1 points lower than the second lowest rated, "Best Man".