An infomercial for the vending machine-sized database of every work Tairy Greene (Zach Galifianakis) has ever acted in.

Eric hits puberty naturally before Tim, causing Tim to seek out synthetic ways to activate puberty to catch up with Eric. Fortin' with Will.

The half-hour series finale. Tim and Eric are gearing up for the holidays when they begin to lactate. Thinking quickly, the boys (and Eric's son Koi) decide to bottle their man milk to give as holiday gifts. However, they neglect to pasteurize the milk, killing everyone. Meanwhile, Ben Stiller and Ben Hur join forces to form the dynamic comedy duo Ben StillHur, Cinco unveils its Privacy Helmet, David Liebe Hart sings about overseas STDs, and Paul Rudd watches dancing men on a computer and becomes smitten with Tayne.

Steve Mahanahan will be going to jail for touching a clown, but his father Donald's Original Child Clown Outlet remains in business. Disaster strikes when the Stontmehn Brothers perform the "exploding pumpkin" trick on Feminine Perspectives.

Tim and Eric return at top form with the new and improved show the fans have been wanting. Diahhreaphragm with Jack McBrayer, Diahhreabedis, Quall Of Duty: San Diego Streets, Morning Meditations, Brule's Rules.

Tim writes the semi-autobiographical novel Choices: The Problem with Eric Wareheim, much to Eric's dismay. Meanwhile, the Cinco H'amb saves another life by offering a cheaper alternative to expensive food products (Guest starring William Sanderson). Two actors discuss their achievements in All Dolled Up, and Dr. Steve Brule delivers a depressing message.

Tim wears a Cinco Musky Tusk Necklace for good luck, while claiming that Eric's rabbit's foot necklace has no effect. Pierre dreams of a barbecue while under the influence of Dream Cream. The Cinco Bro-oche is advertised in a parody of the Eye Tanning System from "C.O.R.B.S."

Tim's eyes are pecked out by crows. Cinco advertises the Sleep Watching Chair, a product that helps male friends watch each other sleep. Flamboyant pop group The Paynus Brothers release a new single and start a spanking craze.

Casey Tatum, who died in a fiery car crash in a previous season, is brought back to life by his brother after a little girl discovers his bones in the woods. Wendell Pierce guest stars as the detective tasked with the remains.

Tim and Eric go on a quest to determine who is number one handsome man. Meanwhile, a party is successfully slept away with Cinco Face-Time Party Snoozer.