Sydney goes on about how the last men she's been with haven't really satisfied her. Hope imagines her future sex life (she's still a virgin) and worries about obsessing about the guy's penis. Birdie Godsen says sex should be taught at home and shares how she's handling her own her. Linda falls into temptation with the cable guy even though she shouldn't (she's a recovering sexaholic). Fern is tired after spending the night awaked with Harry. Kay says she doesn't know what sex is thanks to so much advice from her mother. That doesn't mean she isn't willing to give it a try sometime. Ruby is working on the set of a porn film and gives the solution for the star's ""wood"" problem. Chic remembers when he became a man and the casaba woman retired after him.

Jobie and Fern talk about Jobie's sexual fantasies with the pool guy. Trevor says his fantasy is to be the steward on the space shuttle, where he can weightless with other men. Sydney fantasizes about killing a priest just to win a case and get underground parking. In her fantasy, she becomes a jail celebrity and convinces her mother to change places with her. Her Royal Highness meets Tracey Ullman, the ""expatriate mimic"" and asks if she can do her. Tracey replies with a very subtle answer. Ruby tries to explain to a police officer her first encounter with an alien. Mrs. Nang fantasizes about being a movie stars from the movies she saw as a child. Rayleen and Mitch try once again to make it to the Penthouse ""Forum"" column.

Ruby thinks she raised her kids well – despite her son being mentally ill and her daughter a morgue thief. Mrs. Nang says it's easier being a grandmother than a mother. She had a tough time raising her daughter. Janie feels bad for treating her mother bad after she has a dream where she is old and her own children treat her the way she's treating her mother. Birdie thinks a shotgun and a rifle are better presents for her son than a minibike. Ruby insults a Hispanic clerk at a store after he wouldn't cash her check, and then uses her great granddaughter (whom she just met and happened to be half black) to benefit in the discussion with the black manager. Her Royal Highness meets Mother Theresa and remembers how funny it was when an Indian nanny of her was eaten by a tiger. Fern and Harry handle the birth of their grandson in their own ways. Chic says he's saving money to bring his mother to America, but emergencies like his brother's hair transplant keep him from raising the needed mone

Virginia is frustrated when her flight is diverted from San Francisco to Las Vegas. Just in time as she was arriving from the ""gastronomical desert"" of New Zealand. Linda is excited about performing in Las Vegas once again, but she doesn't hold as much sparks as she did twenty years ago, and looks back on her memories while giving an interview on a bathtub filled with nonfat milk. Ruby is helping a friend cover up scars for a performance and talks about the time she worked on ""Showgirls"". Trevor finds himself alone in the company of the maid of his high-profile German magician friends, and puts on a white tux to catch Linda's act on the Lapland Lounge. Chic gives Tim Bugge passes to an adult show in case he wants fun on his own. Hope is in town working on a paper and is mistaken by a hooker after almost being run over by a drunk. Later, Chic thinks she's a lesbian when she asks him to drive her to a strip club. Tim runs into Fern at a blackjack table on his way to the Lapland Lounge, w

Kay confesses that she once kept a secret bird as a pet, until it learned how to speak and ordered Mother to take her medication 16 times, causing her to lose 22 pounds in 9 minutes. Linda's adopted daughter wants to find her birth parents, so Linda and her manager work on a scheme to hide the truth from her, but Marmalade ultimately finds out: Linda is her real birth mother! She gave her up to save her showbiz career but adopted her after a change of heart. Chic says he'll give away any secrets if the person doesn't tip him. HRH thinks Madonna is visiting and confesses adoring the blonde. Fern says her nosejob is a secret. Janie tells her shrink she'd like to be spanked, only her husband won't do it. After chickening out of a S&M club, she talks her psychologist into spanking her for a double fee. Rayleen says she was born with a small penis, which is now at exhibition at the ""Rupert Murdoch Museum of Exploitation"". She wonders if there's some of it left on her, since she feels an urg

Main Sketches include: Rayleen tells how she was raised by a pack of wild dingoes, Mrs. Noh describes how important the circle has been in her life and Trevor reminisces about the day his family learned he was ""different"".

Janie's magazine hosts a seventies retro-party at the famous Stage 24 disco. Janie and Hope, who is an intern at the magazine, arrive at the party via Chic's cab. In a flashback Chic tells Hope how be helped a young Janie sneak into the club in 1976, where she spied on Linda Granger's cocaine habit as well as her double dealings with the producers of her hit television show ""VIP LOUNGE."" Afterward Janie wrote an article, which launched her career and destroyed Linda's. Ruby caps off the show by claiming she was actually responsible for Linda's demise.

Main Sketches include: Janie is upset over losing her favorite lunch table, Chic serves lunch to a busy businessman in his Cab Cafe and Trevor & Barry have a spat over a casserole with too much salt.

Main Sketches include: Kay is suspected of robbery but gets close to the PI following her, Linda goes to prison to visit the man who once stalked her and Timmy & Virginia accidently switch bags with a Mafia Boss.

Main Sketches include: Ruby goes to the ""Monsterplex"" and is thrown out for drinking and smoking, The Bugges rent their house to a film crew and Rayleen saves the day at a movie premiere.

Main Sketches include: Chic gets audited, Fern and Harry invest in ostriches and Linda sells recovery dolls on the Family Spending Channel.

Main Sketches include: Linda's co-star in ""Driving Miss Daisy"" is mad at the world, Kay is the forewoman of a multi-racial jury that has a hard time finding common ground or coming to a verdictand and Harry Rosenthal appears in a rap music video.

Main Sketches include: Chris sells her soul to the devil so that Midge can be a better golfer, Janie believes that she is a successful magazine editor because she can predict trends and The Rosenthal's maid curses them for taking taxes out of her check.

Main Sketches include: Trevor as a decoy date for a senator's mistress and Fern runs for condo association president.

Main Sketches include: Sydney defends her client in song, Chic runs after a deadbeat fare and ends up on stage at the opera, Linda sings before a crowd a detention facility and Erin reunites with her old band Wild Child, for a short time.

Sketches include: Mrs. Noh on Food, Ruby on Mothers Chic on Crime, Trevor and Fern on Race Relations, Fern and Jobie on Sex, Birdie on Politics, Sydney on Sex, Kay on Movies, Janie on the Supernatural, Rayleen on Childhood, Trevor on Childhood, Linda on Sex, Fern on Money, Sydney on Music, Mrs. Noh on Fantasy, and Chic with Linda on 1976.