Elmer needs a gift for his wife so he buys beads. Special Ed wants to buy a CD with a certain song on it.

Spoon Love needs karate lessons before he goes back to jail. Gladys finds a pornography cassette of her sons.

Guest star Snoop Dogg calls to run for public office. And Haddassah gets harassed by a salesperson.

George Zucco has swelling testicles. And Bobby hits an innocent bystander then shoots him.

Hadassah has a perfume rash on her vagina. OCD Ken gets "trapped" in a bathroom and needs someone to repeatedly hit the pound key. And Special Ed calls a farm to tell them knock knock jokes but just pisses one of the farmers off.

Gladys' kids super glue her butt to a toilet seat. Steven calls a talent agency and only does Bobcat Goldthwait impressions.

A blind Stripper applies for college. Birchum wants to get swimming lessons for his conjoined kids at the YMCA.

Bobby Fletcher calls a country store to complain about expired grape soda that keeps making him belch. Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew Pinsky talk hip-hop.

Elmer calls about a gay cruise.

Hadassah Calls a Landfill, Chip calls a hardware store, Kevin and Katie call a bowling alley, Spoonie Needs Driving Lessons, Niles Standish wants a balloon ride, Niles Standish wants a balloon ride, Helen Higgins Calls an Art School, Bobby Fletcher wants to join the Peace Corps.

Terrence Catheter calls trying to book an appearance for JK Rowling, Ed wants to go to a ball game, Professor Fermstein calls a coed, David orders flowers, Birchum calls with a warning, Chip calls taco bell acting like he’s from the corporate office.

Gladys Murphy calls volunteering for conjugal visits, Elmer needs a dentist, Bobby Fletcher wants a new best friend, Dr. Premise can’t speak, Niles Standish is getting married, Ken is stuck in the restroom.

Birchum expresses his feelings on female police officers, Hadassah wants to conceive, Ed peed in the pool, Jeff needs a new job, Kevin gets help with his homework, Cammie Has Some Questions.

Bobby Fletcher needs a loan, Elmer can't get out of his bed, Niles Standish needs a new suit, Arthur Johnson gets even, Ken calls a pharmacy, George Zucco Plans a family event.

Terence Catheter calls looking for a stalker for his client George Wendt, Tony Deloge is trying to get a free meal, Birchum's Uncle died, Cammie's been having encounters with the paranormal, A store manager calls a retirement home, Ed calls a library.

Elmer is having technical problems, Adam and Dr. Drew make a best of show for the holidays, Larson calls about a house sitting, George Zucco wants to rent a tape, Agent Tierney issues an odd citation, Adam and Dr. Drew reach out to their listeners, Gladys calls a store.

Birchum needs kids to work around the house, Cammie wants a deal on a rental car, Special Ed likes Donkey Kong, Helen Higgins calls about a film she dropped off, Jeff calls looking for a toy, Concierge gives wake up calls to random hotel room, Danny needs an engagement ring.

Elmer checks his lucky numbers, Dr. Mark Premise looks for love, Birchum applies for a job, Dick Rodgers has a personal revelation, Kevin & Katie call a Butcher Shop, Gladys has some concerns about her son, and Tony Deloge books a speaking engagement,

Niles Standish calls about a new hobby, Samir is throwing a party, Clay calls looking for a gift for his girlfriend, Terence needs a new pair of boots for Hall and Oates, Cammie calls a Gynecologist's office.

Sonny calls delivering a singing phone-a-gram, Katie wants a credit card, Bobby Fletcher calls a retirement home looking for acting talent, Asha gets an unexpected delivery, Elmer plans a reunion., Maria calls about getting some plastic surgery for her 11 year old daughter, Ed calls a man asking if he knows any special people.

Hadassah has a problem with her new toy, The Concierge conducts a survey, Danny has questions about child birth, Katie needs help with her book report, Bobby calls to make a reservation for his family, and Elmer's Son tries to make a secret phone call.

Bobby needs a locksmith, Gladys calls a breast feeding expert, Terrence needs help with his new boss, Ken calls wanting to hire a bodyguard, Cammie teaches teens about Sex, Ray needs some language lessons.

Birchum calls a Private Investigator,Wally Calls an Exterminator, Stompie Wants to have fun, Hadassah gets a new job.

Niles calls with a complaint, Jack wants to buy a used car, Gladys wrestles with doing the right thing, Kevin wants a new playmate, Theo calls hoping to adopt some kittens.

Tobias gives a free reading, Jim bugs a Pizza Place, Chip fights racism, Ed needs piano lessons, Elmer has a Birthday, and The Truth wants to be a Sportscaster.