Shavin, the manager of a rap group, calls up the church-going owner of a bed and breakfast to make arrangements for accommodations; Hadassah responds to an ad for a nanny; Rob calls a phone-sex operator on behalf of a hearing-impaired pal.

Blind stripper Cammie wants to join a strip club but is denied. Spoonie Luv(From Up Above) wants to send flowers and asks for inappropriate things to be written on the card. Denis Leary's friend's pet is a problem pet. And Special Ed's got mail and finds out he's got lower standerds because he uses ""I Got Mail"".

Spoonie Luv calls a private country club; Elmer tries to get a hearing aid over the phone; Wanda calls a customer who just used a porn website.

Spoonie calls a country club for tee time but they don't have tee time. Niles needs a healthcare giver. And Elmer needs some hearing aids.

Bobby seeks out a job. Cammie needs computer help. Birtchum loses a fake leg. And Danny is sick.

Niles wants invitations for a contest. Tony Deloge wants votes. Helen's son gives her a foul mouthed parrot. And Bobby tries to sign up to be a consulor to help kids on drugs. Also starring The Touchtone Terrorists.

Haddassah has a survey. Spoonie's got an idea for greeting cards. Sav macauley is on the Phone Zone. And Bobby accidentally kills his grandfather. Also featuring Ween.

Spoonie wants hot girls. Helen calls a grocery store. OCD Ken wants love. And Terrence calls Subway.

Karl Malone wants Beanie Babies. Danny calls a caterer. Elmer lodges a complaint to the cable company about what he saw on TV. Birchum calls for a moving company. And Haddassah calls the Department of Waste.

Spoonie orders flowers. Gene Winterbuck makes a call to a library. Haddassah catches crabs. And someone took a pee on Elmer's house.

Elmer needs a gift for his wife so he buys beads. Special Ed wants to buy a CD with a certain song on it.

Spoon Love needs karate lessons before he goes back to jail. Gladys finds a pornography cassette of her sons.

Guest star Snoop Dogg calls to run for public office. And Haddassah gets harassed by a salesperson.

George Zucco has swelling testicles. And Bobby hits an innocent bystander then shoots him.

Hadassah has a perfume rash on her vagina. OCD Ken gets "trapped" in a bathroom and needs someone to repeatedly hit the pound key. And Special Ed calls a farm to tell them knock knock jokes but just pisses one of the farmers off.

Gladys' kids super glue her butt to a toilet seat. Steven calls a talent agency and only does Bobcat Goldthwait impressions.

A blind Stripper applies for college. Birchum wants to get swimming lessons for his conjoined kids at the YMCA.

Bobby Fletcher calls a country store to complain about expired grape soda that keeps making him belch. Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew Pinsky talk hip-hop.

Elmer calls about a gay cruise.

Hadassah Calls a Landfill, Chip calls a hardware store, Kevin and Katie call a bowling alley, Spoonie Needs Driving Lessons, Niles Standish wants a balloon ride, Niles Standish wants a balloon ride, Helen Higgins Calls an Art School, Bobby Fletcher wants to join the Peace Corps.

Terrence Catheter calls trying to book an appearance for JK Rowling, Ed wants to go to a ball game, Professor Fermstein calls a coed, David orders flowers, Birchum calls with a warning, Chip calls taco bell acting like he’s from the corporate office.

Gladys Murphy calls volunteering for conjugal visits, Elmer needs a dentist, Bobby Fletcher wants a new best friend, Dr. Premise can’t speak, Niles Standish is getting married, Ken is stuck in the restroom.

Birchum expresses his feelings on female police officers, Hadassah wants to conceive, Ed peed in the pool, Jeff needs a new job, Kevin gets help with his homework, Cammie Has Some Questions.

Bobby Fletcher needs a loan, Elmer can't get out of his bed, Niles Standish needs a new suit, Arthur Johnson gets even, Ken calls a pharmacy, George Zucco Plans a family event.

Terence Catheter calls looking for a stalker for his client George Wendt, Tony Deloge is trying to get a free meal, Birchum's Uncle died, Cammie's been having encounters with the paranormal, A store manager calls a retirement home, Ed calls a library.