How Do You Want Me? backdrop
Comedy

The Worst Episodes of How Do You Want Me?

Every episode of How Do You Want Me? ranked from worst to best. Explore the Worst Episodes of How Do You Want Me?!

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Following their marriage, Ian and Lisa move back to the village where she grew up, a village still dominated by her family. In order to try to fit in, Ian takes a job as the

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  1. #1 Worst Episode
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    How Do You Want Me? Season 1 Episode 6 - Sausage, Balloon, Bum
    6.6/10(15 votes)

    #1 - Sausage, Balloon, Bum

    S1:E6

    There is a scandal in the village when Ian is accused of hitting a young boy. The Lyons find rural life rather dull and decide to enter the local bridge competition.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  2. How Do You Want Me? Season 1 Episode 5 - The Hidden World of Country Fire Stations
    6.8/10(15 votes)

    #2 - The Hidden World of Country Fire Stations

    S1:E5

    Ian travels round with the local fire service when he decides to write a book about them however, he uncovers a swindle they don’t want revealed. Lisa has a constant flow of visitors and Ian begins to feel claustrophobic.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  3. How Do You Want Me? Season 1 Episode 4 - Woof!
    6.9/10(17 votes)

    #3 - Woof!

    S1:E4

    Derek’s continued obsession with Lisa creates friction. To support a village charity gala, Ian invites one of his friends from the London comedy club to perform. However his friend’s style of stand up proves to be a little too much for the audience.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  4. How Do You Want Me? Season 1 Episode 2 - Floppy, But Not Too Floppy
    7.0/10(16 votes)

    #4 - Floppy, But Not Too Floppy

    S1:E2

    Ian finally receives his first business assignment: taking the primary school annual photograph. However, things don’t go quite to plan as his inexperience shows through and the students and staff are not as co-operative as he had hoped. Lisa’s father is determined to get his son in law to return to London and offers him a substantial sum of money to encourage him to leave. Meanwhile Lisa has problems of her own when it becomes apparent that her ex, Derek, still harbours feelings for her.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  5. How Do You Want Me? Season 1 Episode 3 - Monstrous
    7.0/10(15 votes)

    #5 - Monstrous

    S1:E3

    Some intimate photographs of Ian and Lisa cause a stir when they are posted around the village. Desperate to ingratiate himself with the villagers, Ian joins the local football team but quickly begins to regret his decision.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  6. How Do You Want Me? Season 2 Episode 1 - White Pubic Hair
    7.0/10(12 votes)

    #6 - White Pubic Hair

    S2:E1

    When Ian falls through the barn roof, he is convinced that his father-in-law is trying to kill him. Lisa finds directing the school play rather stressful and takes up fishing to relieve tension.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  7. How Do You Want Me? Season 2 Episode 5 - Ready, Steady, Kill
    7.0/10(15 votes)

    #7 - Ready, Steady, Kill

    S2:E5

    Ian takes up shooting in an effort to bond with his father-in-law. Unfortunately, Ian alienates himself further and ends up shooting someone. Helen thinks she’s unattractive and Lisa organises a photography session for her to help cheer her up.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  8. How Do You Want Me? Season 2 Episode 6 - The Pleasures of Village Life
    7.0/10(14 votes)

    #8 - The Pleasures of Village Life

    S2:E6

    Ian struggles to find somewhere to live and Dean seems to be the only available option. Helen and Derek get close. Lisa’s father begins to recover and gives Ian an ultimatum: leave the village or be arrested for attempted murder.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  9. How Do You Want Me? Season 2 Episode 4 - Bad Builders
    7.1/10(14 votes)

    #9 - Bad Builders

    S2:E4

    Derek has problems when he hires Dean to redesign his kitchen. Meanwhile, Ian agrees to look after Helen’s clothes shop while she is on holiday. All seems to be going well until his role as temporary manager goes to his head.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  10. How Do You Want Me? Season 1 Episode 1 - No One Can Hear You Scream
    7.3/10(18 votes)

    #10 - No One Can Hear You Scream

    S1:E1

    Newly-weds Lisa and Ian Lyons move from London to her home village in rural Suffolk. Ian has trouble adapting to country life when he offends his wife’s farming family over dinner. Then he exacerbates the animosity Lisa’s family have for him even further at the grand opening of a new turkey barn. Meanwhile when Ian struggles to find suitable employment, he takes over the local photography business.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  11. How Do You Want Me? Season 2 Episode 2 - I’m Not an Alcoholic
    7.8/10(14 votes)

    #11 - I’m Not an Alcoholic

    S2:E2

    Lisa disagrees with the Headmaster about how the students should address the teachers. Ian gives up alcohol and has great difficulty getting hold of a drink when he wants one. Meanwhile, Dean is more than happy to share his mushrooms with Ian.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  12. How Do You Want Me? Season 2 Episode 3 - Nude Modelling Module
    8.1/10(16 votes)

    #12 - Nude Modelling Module

    S2:E3

    Ian runs a photography course in an effort to improve business. However, he has issues with an unwanted admirer and is unable to find the nude model he promised his students. Meanwhile, Lisa is determined to write a novel but lacks inspiration.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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Worst Episodes Summary

"Sausage, Balloon, Bum" is the worst rated episode of "How Do You Want Me?". It scored 6.6/10 based on 15 votes. Directed by Unknown and written by Unknown, it aired on 3/31/1998. This episode scored 0.2 points lower than the second lowest rated, "The Hidden World of Country Fire Stations".