The nurses go to extremes lengths to find a date for Nurse Eddie - they won't go out with anyone until Eddie gets a date. The men draw straws, and Hawkeye is the big loser, especially after Eddie nearly kills him in a scene resembling teenage "mating" rituals.

Its quid pro quo at the 4077th: two bottles of Scotch for secret surgery, and a tank to scare off snipers for an unauthorized shot of penicillin.

A wounded colonel's gun, a showpiece, disappears, and Hawkeye and B.J. play a hunch and bluff Frank, who has it, into returning it.

Frank tries to distinguish himself by selling the camp garbage, but it's Hawkeye who finds a use for it: he dumps it on a troublesome Colonel Coner.

B.J. falls off the fidelity wagon while trying to provide consolation to a nurse whose marriage has just ended. But will he confess his infidelity to his wife?

Colonel Potter meets a female soldier of the same age and interests as himself, named Lil. The others in the camp think that he might be cheating on Mildred, even though his friendship with Lil is completely platonic. Meanwhile Hawkeye tries to find out what B.J.'s initials stand for. As it turns out, he was named after his parents, Bea and Jay Hunnicutt.

Charles becomes so irate, when he is turned down for a future medical position at home, that he refuses to talk to anyone in the unit, until Hawkeye and B.J. send him a false telegram from home. Meanwhile, a young soldier, Jerry Wilson, can't remember his own identity, so Sidney Freedman is called for help.

The impossible happens for the snobbish Charles when he shares an emotional experience with Klinger, who discovers a U.S. nurse, Debbie, finds him and his bizarre attire attractive, while Charles succumbs to the exotic charms of a Korean girl, called Sooni, who he meets at Rosie's Bar.

To save the life of an elderly local who rejects an operation because he believes bad spirits surround the 4077th, Colonel Potter permits a Korean exorcism.

A touring USO show brings an unexpected touch of vaudeville to the 4077th when the star showgirl requires an emergency operation. And wouldn't you know, the comedian is Klinger's hero!

The 4077th faces a sleepless night as Charles's snoring keeps B.J. and Hawkeye from counting sheep. Meanwhile, Colonel Potter discovers that his son-in-law, Bob Wilson, has had an affair.

Captain Kaplan is to be shipped home, but becomes paranoid that something will happen to him before he leaves. He takes the wheel of the jeep to drive to Kimpo himself, but crashes and ends up in plaster. Henry's wife is in labor and gives birth while he has Radar calling the hospital every 5 mins.An entertainer, Jackie Flash, visits the camp to entertain the troops.

A brawl at Rosie's Bar puts Rosie in the hospital, and the 4077th doctors are pressed into service as temporary saloon-keepers. Meanwhile, Father Mulcahy is apprehensive that his long-pending promotion to captain will again be denied. Potter: "The Pentagon. Weird looking building. Four walls and a spare. Monument to Murphy's Law."

Friction arises between B.J. and Winchester when they are asked to write an article for a prestigious medical journal, on how they saved a soldier's life with a daring operation. Meanwhile, Hot Lips receives an eventful visit from Scully, her combat soldier beau.

Hawkeye uses a bottle of vintage wine to lure unsuspecting nurses into his den; and Potter tries to secure a different sort of anesthetic when the army threatens to ban a painkiller.

Hawkeye is outraged when a sensationalistic war correspondent, Clayton Kibbee, reports irresponsible G.I. stunts as tales of military valor. Kibbee: "As for the last two pints of blood, there's no big finale, no heroes. They helped an old soldier, who'd had visions of glory but finally got it through his thick head how tragic and inhumane war can be. Maybe he'll know better next time."

Hawkeye is the golden boy of the world press when he treats a celebrity prizefighter, 'Gentleman' Joe Cavanaugh, who has a stroke at the 4077th. Father Mulcahy finds the news hard to take, as Cavanaugh was a hero of his.

With the camp facing prohibition, and a severe medical supply shortage, during another heat wave, Hawkeye resolves to lift morale by importing a racy new movie.

Radar gets a Dear John recording from home. Hawkeye and Trapper try to set him up with a date, but fail. Radar is taken by a new nurse at the camp and she is into poetry and music, so they coach him. Margaret wants to stop the relationship, so Hawkeye and Trapper get between her and Frank until she relents. Radar's "Ahhhh, Bach!" and "That's highly significant," quotes win him the girl.

Hawkeye and Trapper prevent a GI from marrying a call girl who has TB, whilst trying to help a Korean soldier join his pregnant wife. Radar, of course, provides his usual invaluable help.

Hawkeye is injured in a jeep accident and, aware he has a concussion, babbles to a Korean family to keep himself awake.

The 4077th turns up a sick helicopter pilot, 'Smilin' Jack, who doesn't want to quit, and a twice-wounded GI who does.

The arrival of a wounded Korean woman sparks a conflict at the 4077th: Hawkeye wants to heal her, but a steely ROK officer, Lt. Park, is more anxious to "question" her about alleged guerilla activities.

Irritated that the 4077th is planning a "surprise" party for him, Hawkeye volunteers to go to the aid of a wounded surgeon at the front. An additional irritant to Hawkeye is the arrival of Dr. Borelli, a wisecracking medical advisor with whom he habitually disagrees.

B.J. finds himself attracted to a famous war correspondent, Aggie O'Shea, who has fallen in love with him.