The Worst Episodes of M*A*S*H

Hawkeye is injured in a jeep accident and, aware he has a concussion, babbles to a Korean family to keep himself awake.

Director: Larry Gelbart

Writer: Larry Gelbart, Simon Muntner

The nurses go to extremes lengths to find a date for Nurse Eddie - they won't go out with anyone until Eddie gets a date. The men draw straws, and Hawkeye is the big loser, especially after Eddie nearly kills him in a scene resembling teenage "mating" rituals.

Director: James Sheldon

Writer: Hal Dresner

B.J. falls off the fidelity wagon while trying to provide consolation to a nurse whose marriage has just ended. But will he confess his infidelity to his wife?

Director: Gene Reynolds

Writer: Gene Reynolds

To save the life of an elderly local who rejects an operation because he believes bad spirits surround the 4077th, Colonel Potter permits a Korean exorcism.

Director: Alan Alda

Writer: N/A

Newscaster Clete Roberts, reprising an earlier interview appearance, returns to update Korean War conditions, when he conducts a series of television talks with the leading characters of the 4077th.

Director: Burt Metcalfe

Writer: Ronny Graham, David Isaacs, Ken Levine

A touring USO show brings an unexpected touch of vaudeville to the 4077th when the star showgirl requires an emergency operation. And wouldn't you know, the comedian is Klinger's hero!

Director: Charles S. Dubin

Writer: Elias Davis, David Pollock

The 4077th faces a sleepless night as Charles's snoring keeps B.J. and Hawkeye from counting sheep. Meanwhile, Colonel Potter discovers that his son-in-law, Bob Wilson, has had an affair.

Director: Mike Farrell

Writer: Karen Hall

Captain Kaplan is to be shipped home, but becomes paranoid that something will happen to him before he leaves. He takes the wheel of the jeep to drive to Kimpo himself, but crashes and ends up in plaster. Henry's wife is in labor and gives birth while he has Radar calling the hospital every 5 mins.An entertainer, Jackie Flash, visits the camp to entertain the troops.

Director: Jackie Cooper

Writer: Larry Gelbart

A brawl at Rosie's Bar puts Rosie in the hospital, and the 4077th doctors are pressed into service as temporary saloon-keepers. Meanwhile, Father Mulcahy is apprehensive that his long-pending promotion to captain will again be denied. Potter: "The Pentagon. Weird looking building. Four walls and a spare. Monument to Murphy's Law."

Director: Burt Metcalfe

Writer: Dan Wilcox, Thad Mumford

Friction arises between B.J. and Winchester when they are asked to write an article for a prestigious medical journal, on how they saved a soldier's life with a daring operation. Meanwhile, Hot Lips receives an eventful visit from Scully, her combat soldier beau.

Director: Harry Morgan

Writer: N/A

Hawkeye uses a bottle of vintage wine to lure unsuspecting nurses into his den; and Potter tries to secure a different sort of anesthetic when the army threatens to ban a painkiller.

Director: Charles S. Dubin

Writer: N/A

Hawkeye is outraged when a sensationalistic war correspondent, Clayton Kibbee, reports irresponsible G.I. stunts as tales of military valor. Kibbee: "As for the last two pints of blood, there's no big finale, no heroes. They helped an old soldier, who'd had visions of glory but finally got it through his thick head how tragic and inhumane war can be. Maybe he'll know better next time."

Director: Charles S. Dubin

Writer: Lee H. Grant

Hawkeye is the golden boy of the world press when he treats a celebrity prizefighter, 'Gentleman' Joe Cavanaugh, who has a stroke at the 4077th. Father Mulcahy finds the news hard to take, as Cavanaugh was a hero of his.

Director: Nell Cox

Writer: Thad Mumford, Dan Wilcox

With the camp facing prohibition, and a severe medical supply shortage, during another heat wave, Hawkeye resolves to lift morale by importing a racy new movie.

Director: Charles S. Dubin

Writer: N/A

Radar gets a Dear John recording from home. Hawkeye and Trapper try to set him up with a date, but fail. Radar is taken by a new nurse at the camp and she is into poetry and music, so they coach him. Margaret wants to stop the relationship, so Hawkeye and Trapper get between her and Frank until she relents. Radar's "Ahhhh, Bach!" and "That's highly significant," quotes win him the girl.

Director: Earl Bellamy

Writer: Larry Gelbart, Laurence Marks

Hawkeye and Trapper prevent a GI from marrying a call girl who has TB, whilst trying to help a Korean soldier join his pregnant wife. Radar, of course, provides his usual invaluable help.

Director: Lee Philips

Writer: Arthur Julian

Hawkeye tangles with a tough Army colonel, Colonel Spiker, B.J. helps Zale, who's received a "Dear John" letter, and Frank looks endlessly for Korean saboteurs.

Director: John Erman

Writer: Jay Folb

Hawkeye is reunited with a woman he thought was out of his life forever, but who never altogether leaves.

Director: Gene Reynolds

Writer: Gene Reynolds, Larry Gelbart

B.J. almost becomes the surrogate father to a Korean family. Finding them a substitute for his own absent family, B.J. spends so much time with them that his medical efficiency begins to suffer, and Hawkeye worries about his health. B.J.: "First they take me from my wife and kid, and just when I find something to help fill the gap, they take that away, too."

Director: James Sheldon

Writer: Larry Balmagia

The impossible happens for the snobbish Charles when he shares an emotional experience with Klinger, who discovers a U.S. nurse, Debbie, finds him and his bizarre attire attractive, while Charles succumbs to the exotic charms of a Korean girl, called Sooni, who he meets at Rosie's Bar.

Director: Mike Farrell

Writer: David Isaacs, Ken Levine

The arrival of a wounded Korean woman sparks a conflict at the 4077th: Hawkeye wants to heal her, but a steely ROK officer, Lt. Park, is more anxious to "question" her about alleged guerilla activities.

Director: Alan Alda

Writer: Bob Colleary

Irritated that the 4077th is planning a "surprise" party for him, Hawkeye volunteers to go to the aid of a wounded surgeon at the front. An additional irritant to Hawkeye is the arrival of Dr. Borelli, a wisecracking medical advisor with whom he habitually disagrees.

Director: Alan Alda

Writer: Alan Alda

B.J. finds himself attracted to a famous war correspondent, Aggie O'Shea, who has fallen in love with him.

Director: Mike Farrell

Writer: Mike Farrell

Margaret has trouble pretending she's a chip off the old block when her dad, blood and guts "Howitzer" Al Houlihan, arrives for a visit. Also, Hawkeye fixes up a soldier who repays them with a large side of steak, but the general who it belongs to is really steamed.

Director: Alan Alda

Writer: Karen Hall

Klinger saves Winchester's life when an explosion rocks the operating room; and B.J. is reluctant to reveal the extent of his injuries after the blast.

Director: N/A

Writer: N/A