While Margaret Thatcher impersonates the Queen, can Joan collins really be in bed with John McEnroe? As Bob Dylan protests against the use of cheese, Mick Jagger gets in trouble whilst abusing other dairy products. Meanwhile, in 'The Presidents Brain Is Missing', President Reagan wakes up in bed with a stuffed monkey...

Thatcher is seranaded by her Cabinet in the back garden of Number 10 while Mary Whitehose strengthens her convictions about how awful Spitting Image really is. Dylan is still protesting - this time against pants - and Sir Robin Day may finally have met his match on this week's 'Question Time'

As a parasitic version of Janet Street-Porter speaks to you live and direct from Nancy Regan's navel, Jeremy Wilcox is in his back garden at No. 9 Downing Street, London, flirting with Prime Minsiter Margaret Thatcher over the hedge. Prince Charles pays a starnge visit to the Falklands while Lawson is interrogated by Thatcher and Norman Tebbit over the budget - with dire consequences!

Ronald Reagan is busy plucking his nostrils as Prince Philip tries to introduce baby Prince William to the joys of rabbiting. David Attenborough's latest programme may incite Dennis Thatcher to lascivious behaviour , but has he met his match with Anthony the Anteater?

With her party looming ever closer, can The Queen maintain grace under pressure as her dysfunctional family continue to show her up? Still evading Attenborigh's clutches, has Anthony the Anteater met his match in Prince Philip?

As Lord Lucan continues to hide down the front of Cyril Smith's trousers, David Coleman commentates on the latest football match from Beirut. Margaret Thatcher tries to convince a sceptical Sir Robin Day on the benefits of cannibalism.

As Mary Whitehouse continues to disapprove, David Atenborough's knowledge of wildlife is tested by a panel of experts. Meanwhile, Roy Jenkins and David Owen complain about other epople's ability to be funnier than themselves...

While Denis Norden peddles his latest clips programme, even he's taken aback at some plastic surgery being carried out by David Coleman and Barry Manilow. In this week's episode of 'Master Class' it's a face-off between Julian Lloyd-Webber and Henry Cooper - who will be victorious?

Can the Shadow Cabinet afford the electricity this week? Meanwhile, in the current edition of 'Criminal Libel', Margaret Thatcher, Norman Tebbit and Geoffrey Howe appear to have met their match in the shape of presenter Harold Angryperson.

While leech Rupert Murdoch shows off some of his excess to millions in 'Gracious Living', Neil Kinnock ponders his response to an offer of appearing on 'The Tube'. Can a simple game of Monopoly realy highlight the dysfunctionality of the Royal Family?

In 'Jesus, havent you gone to bed yet?', the Pope gets bored with a missionary worker telling his story and encourages the speaker to be hip and cool. Meanwhile, Sir John Gielgud dreams of sheep...

Prince William wants to be the next King, and tries to convince Prince Charles to abdicate before he's even gained the throne. While Margaret Thatcher is giving Norman Fowler a scrub down in the bath, he wonders if they should give teachers a pay rise.

While the Cabinet celebrates Michael Heseltine's resignation, Prince Philip wastes his time trying to teach his son how to play Colditz. Ronald Reagan's diary tells the inside story on the presidency, and celebrities band together for another charity songbecause they are scared of Bob Geldof.

Prince Andrew's in trouble wih his Pa for the size of his unmentionables. Terry Wogan chooses Sooty as his holiday replacement while Margaret Thatcher works on a new softer image. Derek Jameson gor-blimeys his way through another horrible programme.

Sir David Attenborough has a philosophical discussion with a suicidal seal. Leon Brittan discusses the possible repercussions of being outed as a mole and Brian Walden discovers that you can't put a better bit of Botha on your knife.

Desmond Wilcox's new intrusive, fly-on-the-wall documentary comes to grief when the happy couple refuse to watch 'That's Life!'. Sir Alistair Burnet almost come to blows with John Craven when 'News At Ten' doesn't have a funny story to end the show.

Arthur Daley has to bow out of Thatcher's service because he's just not sleazy enough. Jim Callaghan shows the best way to grow your money, while the Shadow Cabinet break into Number 10 and the Queen Mother buys a new titfer (hat).

Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson (Fergie), try to sort out their wedding plans, while a brand new song about holding chickens aloft gets it's first airing. The Who discover that they are no longer the voice of urban youth, and Prince Charles meets up with a cheeky Cockney chappie.

Ian Paisley indulges in a bit of shouting while Larry gives Johnny advice on ducks. A political dinosaur ponders wistfully on the lack of values in modern-day society. Frank Muir threatens to strangle Denis Norden again.

President Botha gives his country The Facts as he sees them, while some unsuspecting Mormons pay a visit to Cliff Richard's house. Barry Norman discovers that Meryl Streep is actually Dustin Hoffman, who wants to be both the greatest actor and greatest actress.

Ronald Reagan confides to Nancy his idea for finishing off Gadaffi. Mick and Keith indulge in a bit of shopping and Andrew Ridgeley from pop group Wham!, tries for a solo career. Bernard Levin encourages Jonathan Miller to call him Ishamel.

Michael Foot sends the rest of the Shadow Cabinet to sleepybobos. Tarby interviews Michael Caine about some of his favourite cheques and Russell Harty gets a bit flustered whilst interviewing 'The Sun's' page three pinup Samantha Fox. Ronald Reagan employs the Four Larrys of the Apocalypse as new advisors.

The latest edition of 'Potato World' is interrupted with the breaking news that no nuclear accidents have happened at Chernobyl. The Royal Family indulge in a bit of a sing-song for a new album, while David Owen takes the SDP back to the shop as he believes it may well have ceased to be.

David Coleman introduces the Euro Winkle Championships while Cliff frowns on Mrs. Whitehouse's non-virginal status. Margaret Thatcher causes consternation amongst her Cabinet when she discusses the subject of her successor.

Brucie has isues with Tarby's new material when he discovers that it's just a potato. Andy and Fergie become concerned when Billy Connolly helps to write the Queen's Christmas Message. The press react with predictability when Sooty is put in charge of the NCB.