While Margaret Thatcher impersonates the Queen, can Joan collins really be in bed with John McEnroe? As Bob Dylan protests against the use of cheese, Mick Jagger gets in trouble whilst abusing other dairy products. Meanwhile, in 'The Presidents Brain Is Missing', President Reagan wakes up in bed with a stuffed monkey...

Thatcher is seranaded by her Cabinet in the back garden of Number 10 while Mary Whitehose strengthens her convictions about how awful Spitting Image really is. Dylan is still protesting - this time against pants - and Sir Robin Day may finally have met his match on this week's 'Question Time'

As a parasitic version of Janet Street-Porter speaks to you live and direct from Nancy Regan's navel, Jeremy Wilcox is in his back garden at No. 9 Downing Street, London, flirting with Prime Minsiter Margaret Thatcher over the hedge. Prince Charles pays a starnge visit to the Falklands while Lawson is interrogated by Thatcher and Norman Tebbit over the budget - with dire consequences!

Ronald Reagan is busy plucking his nostrils as Prince Philip tries to introduce baby Prince William to the joys of rabbiting. David Attenborough's latest programme may incite Dennis Thatcher to lascivious behaviour , but has he met his match with Anthony the Anteater?

With her party looming ever closer, can The Queen maintain grace under pressure as her dysfunctional family continue to show her up? Still evading Attenborigh's clutches, has Anthony the Anteater met his match in Prince Philip?

As Lord Lucan continues to hide down the front of Cyril Smith's trousers, David Coleman commentates on the latest football match from Beirut. Margaret Thatcher tries to convince a sceptical Sir Robin Day on the benefits of cannibalism.

As Mary Whitehouse continues to disapprove, David Atenborough's knowledge of wildlife is tested by a panel of experts. Meanwhile, Roy Jenkins and David Owen complain about other epople's ability to be funnier than themselves...

While Denis Norden peddles his latest clips programme, even he's taken aback at some plastic surgery being carried out by David Coleman and Barry Manilow. In this week's episode of 'Master Class' it's a face-off between Julian Lloyd-Webber and Henry Cooper - who will be victorious?

Can the Shadow Cabinet afford the electricity this week? Meanwhile, in the current edition of 'Criminal Libel', Margaret Thatcher, Norman Tebbit and Geoffrey Howe appear to have met their match in the shape of presenter Harold Angryperson.

While leech Rupert Murdoch shows off some of his excess to millions in 'Gracious Living', Neil Kinnock ponders his response to an offer of appearing on 'The Tube'. Can a simple game of Monopoly realy highlight the dysfunctionality of the Royal Family?

In 'Jesus, havent you gone to bed yet?', the Pope gets bored with a missionary worker telling his story and encourages the speaker to be hip and cool. Meanwhile, Sir John Gielgud dreams of sheep...

Prince William wants to be the next King, and tries to convince Prince Charles to abdicate before he's even gained the throne. While Margaret Thatcher is giving Norman Fowler a scrub down in the bath, he wonders if they should give teachers a pay rise.

While Ronald Reagan loses a debate to a cheese sandwich, Robert Maxwell ponders the content of tomorrow's newspapers. The Royal Family decide long and hard on a name for the new baby, but one of their number hides a dark secret...

Prince Williams devious machinations continue, while Barry Norman takes time out to interview Dustin Hoffman in his starring role as The Lettuce. The Cabinet struggle to find a response to the latest piece of news when they find all the best answers have already been used.

As Liz Taylor explodes, Donald Sinden tries his best to sell the viewing public a nice cup of Reptiles Bland Blend Coffee. Sir John Geilgud reads another excerpt from the Booker Prize winning 'The A Team' (in the original Latin).

Prince William's plan to remove all obstacles between himself and the throne continues apace. Snooker champion Steve Davis bemoans his lack of a nickname and comes up with something altogether more 'interesting'...

It's Rubinovski and Franks - the new crimefighting duo starring a sheep and an anteater - and woe betide the lawbreaker who gets in their way! Meanwhile, the pound sterling is in freefall and so is the Chancellor!

Russian Prime Minister Gorbachev proves beyond a doubt he;s the grooviest Russian premier in history. Meanwhile, Jim Callaghan states publicly that, being a pedigree wolverine breeder, he would feed them nothing other than new Chunky Lumps.

The magician Paul Daniels chances his arm by hosting the brand new quiz show 'Block Your Odd Bob Mr. Name That Priceslines 2-1'. The world of theatrical luvvies goes into overdrive when they find out that one of their number has died. Unfortunately, they don't know which one...

The Royal Family frantically band together when they discover that one of Diana's hairs is out of place. As Conan the Stamp Collector struts his stuff, Denis Norden finds out how funny he really is when he falls victim to Jeremy Beadle in 'Game for a naff'.

Michael Grade of Channel 4 Television is under attack from the advertising menace that is 'Saatchi and Saatchi'. Mystery abounds when eight 'complete strangers' are brought together at Vincent Price's spooky mansion. Unfortunately, his logic for doing so doesn't bear close inspection.

Prince Charles receives a vegetable related epiphany when his food embroils him in a heated dialogue. Horse racing jockey Lester Pigott's horse tries to convince him that he really ought to be retired and put out to the stud farm.

Enjoying a quiet drink with Saint and Greavsie, Dustin Hoffman realises that he's surrounded by every racial and social stereotype imaginable. There is only one possible explanation - they're all stuck in a Disaster Movie!

While the Cabinet celebrates Michael Heseltine's resignation, Prince Philip wastes his time trying to teach his son how to play Colditz. Ronald Reagan's diary tells the inside story on the presidency, and celebrities band together for another charity songbecause they are scared of Bob Geldof.

Prince Andrew's in trouble wih his Pa for the size of his unmentionables. Terry Wogan chooses Sooty as his holiday replacement while Margaret Thatcher works on a new softer image. Derek Jameson gor-blimeys his way through another horrible programme.