While Ronald Reagan loses a debate to a cheese sandwich, Robert Maxwell ponders the content of tomorrow's newspapers. The Royal Family decide long and hard on a name for the new baby, but one of their number hides a dark secret...

Prince Williams devious machinations continue, while Barry Norman takes time out to interview Dustin Hoffman in his starring role as The Lettuce. The Cabinet struggle to find a response to the latest piece of news when they find all the best answers have already been used.

As Liz Taylor explodes, Donald Sinden tries his best to sell the viewing public a nice cup of Reptiles Bland Blend Coffee. Sir John Geilgud reads another excerpt from the Booker Prize winning 'The A Team' (in the original Latin).

Prince William's plan to remove all obstacles between himself and the throne continues apace. Snooker champion Steve Davis bemoans his lack of a nickname and comes up with something altogether more 'interesting'...

It's Rubinovski and Franks - the new crimefighting duo starring a sheep and an anteater - and woe betide the lawbreaker who gets in their way! Meanwhile, the pound sterling is in freefall and so is the Chancellor!

Russian Prime Minister Gorbachev proves beyond a doubt he;s the grooviest Russian premier in history. Meanwhile, Jim Callaghan states publicly that, being a pedigree wolverine breeder, he would feed them nothing other than new Chunky Lumps.

The magician Paul Daniels chances his arm by hosting the brand new quiz show 'Block Your Odd Bob Mr. Name That Priceslines 2-1'. The world of theatrical luvvies goes into overdrive when they find out that one of their number has died. Unfortunately, they don't know which one...

The Royal Family frantically band together when they discover that one of Diana's hairs is out of place. As Conan the Stamp Collector struts his stuff, Denis Norden finds out how funny he really is when he falls victim to Jeremy Beadle in 'Game for a naff'.

Michael Grade of Channel 4 Television is under attack from the advertising menace that is 'Saatchi and Saatchi'. Mystery abounds when eight 'complete strangers' are brought together at Vincent Price's spooky mansion. Unfortunately, his logic for doing so doesn't bear close inspection.

Prince Charles receives a vegetable related epiphany when his food embroils him in a heated dialogue. Horse racing jockey Lester Pigott's horse tries to convince him that he really ought to be retired and put out to the stud farm.

Enjoying a quiet drink with Saint and Greavsie, Dustin Hoffman realises that he's surrounded by every racial and social stereotype imaginable. There is only one possible explanation - they're all stuck in a Disaster Movie!