Simon’s life is a tragedy. He’s attracted to his dad’s fiancée, the stripper he just slept with is actually a real policewoman, and Jenny is livid after he told the students her lessons were boring.

Susan’s convinced Simon has a thing for women with authority. He’s determined to prove her wrong, even though his new policewoman girlfriend Maggie is coming into the school to talk about drugs.

Maggie’s upset that Simon was clearly so embarrassed of her when she met his friends, so she stops returning his calls. Brian and Kurt let Simon move into their flat, which is a relief. At first ….

Simon’s terrified his sex life is deteriorating when he and Maggie go for a few days without any action, and he feels intimidated when he finds out she’s had sex in all sorts of interesting places.

The students lock Simon and Jenny in the stationery cupboard, where sexual tension gets the better of them. Spurred on by guilt, Simon moves in with Maggie and they throw a housewarming party.

It’s open evening, and Susan’s husband turns up angrily demanding she accompany him to his work dinner. When she storms off, everyone thinks she’s had some kind of nervous breakdown.

Pornography with teachers’ faces superimposed on it has been doing the rounds, including a delightful depiction of Simon and Bob together. And Simon has to handle a female student's chest complaint.

Simon has his big interview, and finds out if he can keep his job. Liz can’t wait to tell everyone about Kurt’s secret relationship with Carol. And Jenny and Simon finally admit to their feelings.

Summerdown has merged with another school and it’s all change for the teachers. Bob is struggling to adjust: he’s been demoted, and his new boss seems to be a hit with the women.

Penny makes a pass at Ewan, but it all ends in humiliation. Meanwhile, Ben is ordered to babysit some pensioners who are visiting the school which forces him to confront his own prejudices.

It is Obesity Awareness Month and Ben becomes obsessed with Lindsay’s weight. It’s purely selfish, of course; he’s worried her death would be bad for his own stress levels.

It’s Religious Tolerance Week and the teachers prepare to represent their allocated religions at the Tolerance Fair. Meanwhile, Bob finally takes delivery of his new wife.

After discovering Penny’s real surname is Eichmann, the others take pleasure in winding her up. She’s blonde, she hates foreign food, she has no black friends—could she be a racist?

No sooner has Damien announced that he doesn’t need a girlfriend, than he falls for the substitute teacher Anna. But an unfortunate incident with a pupil and an icing bag has rendered him impotent.

While trying to get out of Bob’s stag do, Ben is reminded of a ouija board prediction: he’s going to die on Friday. Then he sees a miracle. So God must exist, and there’s an afterlife to contend with.

The school is trashed after the Christmas party, the teachers are hungover, Bob is getting married in the playground—and the Ofsted Inspector is due. Happy Christmas, everyone!

Ewan is thrown into turmoil when he finds out that a pupil, John, fancies him. All his attempts to handle the situation sensitively backfire horribly.

Half the staff are off with stress, leaving the other half even more stressed. In a desperate bid to relieve the pressure, Clare assigns them all a stress partner, which proves very stressful.

A new term and a new teacher, in the (rather large) shape of Lindsay. She can outdrink the boys, and Brian in particular thinks she’s brilliant, until Kurt convinces him that she fancies him.

Penny’s self-obsession and self-pity have reached such dizzying new heights that she’s driving everyone insane. Bored to tears with her moaning, Lindsay finally cracks.

Kurt thinks his luck with the ladies is changing. At parents’ evening he meets a woman he reckons he has a good chance of pulling. As usual, however, his judgement in these matters isn’t perfect.

Lindsay is about to turn 30, which is fine, until everyone points out that 30 is very old. What’s the best way to handle being 30? Grow old with grace and start acting your age, or the exact opposite?

Jenny’s house-shaking romping with her new boyfriend Alec is driving Susan crazy, so she agrees to get a flat with Simon. And then Brian and Kurt convince Simon that he fancies her.

Having split up with Alec, Jenny’s going through a hedonistic phase—much to Brian and Kurt’s delight as she keeps buying all the drinks.

Bobs wife throws him out of the house and moves her boyfriend in. For the first time, Liz takes pity on this dishevelled wreck. But a combination of pity and alcohol can have surprising results.