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The Best Episodes of The Colbert Report Season 3

Every episode of The Colbert Report Season 3 ranked from best to worst. Discover the Best Episodes of The Colbert Report Season 3!

The Best Episodes of The Colbert Report Season 3

The Colbert Report is an American satirical late night television program. It stars political humorist Stephen Colbert, a former correspondent for The Daily Show with...
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Episode Rankings

  1. #1 Fan Favorite
    The Colbert Report Season 3 Episode 1 - Ethan Nadelmann
    7.3/10(18 votes)

    #1 - Ethan Nadelmann

    S3:E1

    Stephen opens the show disappointed that Saddam Hussein was suddenly hanged over the show's break. He responds to Lake Superior State University's ban of the word 'truthiness' in "Who's Attacking Me Now?", and gay.com's naming of Stephen as Person of the Year in "Who's Honoring Me Now?"; gives "Stephen's Sound Advice" for getting over the winter blues.

    Director:Jim Hoskinson
    Writer:Unknown

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  2. The Colbert Report Season 3 Episode 2 - Jim Cramer
    7.0/10(17 votes)

    #2 - Jim Cramer

    S3:E2

    Freem replaces superstantial in the opening sequence. Stephen thanks former Archbishop of Warsaw Stanis³aw Wielgus for being caught in a Catholic Church scandal of a non-sexual nature; scorns Democrats for taking a day off Congress for the college football National Championship game, with quick suggestion of taking a day off for a Ontario Junior League Hockey game; begins new segment "We the MEdiator" to pick sides in celebrity feuds, featuring Rosie O'Donnell vs. Donald Trump, Angelina Jolie vs. Madonna, and Amitabh Bachchan vs. Shahrukh Khan; and ends the show in tribute to James Brown by declaring himself the new "hardest working man in show business".

    Director:Jim Hoskinson
    Writer:Unknown

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  3. The Colbert Report Season 3 Episode 3 - David Kamp
    7.2/10(18 votes)

    #3 - David Kamp

    S3:E3

    Stephen criticizes Bush for not sending 300 million troops as Stephen advised the day before but he pardons him if this is "the only mistake he makes in this war". He then talks about illegal immigration in a new segment called "Invasion of the Country Snatchers" and about the new Democratic senator of Missouri and its liberal legislation in the Word-Segment. After the break there is a new episode of Stephen's Tek Jansen adventures.

    Director:Jim Hoskinson
    Writer:Unknown

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  4. The Colbert Report Season 3 Episode 4 - Judy Woodruff
    7.0/10(17 votes)

    #4 - Judy Woodruff

    S3:E4

    Stephen starts with another episode of his challenge "What Number is Stephen thinking of?" with a clip from 2005. He then celebrates 5 years of Guantanamo Bay and talks to the executive director of Human Rights Watch, Ken Roth. After that he does a "Tip of the Hat/Wag of the finger", double-wagging Apple (claiming this is his first double-wag) for 1) changing their name to "Apple, Inc." and 2) bringing out the iPhone.

    Director:Jim Hoskinson
    Writer:Unknown

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  5. The Colbert Report Season 3 Episode 5 - Alex Kuczynski
    7.2/10(18 votes)

    #5 - Alex Kuczynski

    S3:E5

    Wishing viewers a happy Martin Luther King Day, Stephen calls for a nationwide lie-in to refuse engaging in "anything at all", in the style of passive protest such as Rosa Parks, then attacks Senator Barbara Boxer for comments suggesting Condoleezza Rice has no personal ties to the Iraq War. Stephen praises the army for lowering recruitment expectations in order to be filled; channels last week's guest Jim Cramer for a new financial segment "Stephen's Bears and Balls" focusing on real estate, oil, Cingular's name change, soy milk, and beef jerkey.

    Director:Jim Hoskinson
    Writer:Unknown

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  6. The Colbert Report Season 3 Episode 6 - Dinesh D'Souza
    6.2/10(18 votes)

    #6 - Dinesh D'Souza

    S3:E6

    In anticipation of Bill O'Reilly arriving in-studio on Thursday, Stephen lashes out at Jimmy the director for a squeaky chair. In a new segment "Invasion of the Country Snatchers", Stephen profiles immigration issues, from an Italian-descended anti-immigrant possible Presidential nominee, to a chain of pizza restaurants which accept pesos, segueing into Letters from Iwo Jima winning the Best foreign Film Golden Globe. In another "Stephen Colbert's Sport Report", Stephen covers David Beckham playing for Los Angeles, and an anti-Colbert movement of fans throwing teddy bears on the ice when the Saginaw Spirit played the Oshawa Generals in the Ontario Hockey League.

    Director:Jim Hoskinson
    Writer:Unknown

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  7. The Colbert Report Season 3 Episode 7 - Richard Clarke
    7.2/10(17 votes)

    #7 - Richard Clarke

    S3:E7

    Still in anticipation of Bill O'Reilly arriving in-studio on Thursday Stephen is more nervous than the day before, bringing out some cherished objects he plans to show O'Reilly the next day. He then talks about the NFL play-offs with Lynn Swann, trying to trash talk all teams except the New Orleans Saints who he favors. After the break "Better know a district" continues with Washington's 3rd congressional district representative, Brian Baird.

    Director:Jim Hoskinson
    Writer:Unknown

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  8. The Colbert Report Season 3 Episode 8 - Bill O'Reilly
    6.7/10(25 votes)

    #8 - Bill O'Reilly

    S3:E8

    The big day is here, so Stephen is crazy with anticipation that Bill O'Reilly will be on the show, stating that his only goal with this show was to see this day, which makes him reveal a "Mission Accomplished" banner and open the last door on his "Bill O'Reilly advent calendar" (in which he finds Geraldo's mustache). He then turns back to US politics talking about Bush's plans to rise the troop levels in Iraq. He then talks about fights between celebrities on his segment "We the MEdiator", rethinking his last week's judgements.

    Director:Jim Hoskinson
    Writer:Unknown

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  9. The Colbert Report Season 3 Episode 9 - Tom Schaller
    6.9/10(16 votes)

    #9 - Tom Schaller

    S3:E9

    Stephen is disappointed at the loss by the New Orleans Saints to the Chicago "God-less killing Machines" Bears. In another "Who's Riding My Coattails Now?", Stephen calls out Bill Clinton for speaking at Knox College after Colbert already had, and artist Terence Koh for selling sperm (in his art) after Stephen's Formula 401 line. The Word is based on the refusal of Alberto Gonzales to admit a right of the people not stated specifically in the Constitution. In another "Stephen Colbert's Balls For Kidz", gambling is discussed.

    Director:Jim Hoskinson
    Writer:Unknown

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  10. The Colbert Report Season 3 Episode 10 - Michael S. Steele
    6.9/10(17 votes)

    #10 - Michael S. Steele

    S3:E10

    Stephen explains that this is the second of two episodes they taped on January 22, so that he can host a State of the Union address party on the 23rd. Russ Lieber appears in-studio to comment on new laws of the Democrat-controlled Congress. A new Threatdown is "Media Watchdog" themed.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  11. The Colbert Report Season 3 Episode 11 - Lou Dobbs
    6.9/10(18 votes)

    #11 - Lou Dobbs

    S3:E11

    Lou Dobbs, author of War on the Middle Class, faces the truth hammer when he sits down to talk with Stephen.

    Director:Jim Hoskinson
    Writer:Unknown

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  12. The Colbert Report Season 3 Episode 12 - Mike Wallace
    6.9/10(18 votes)

    #12 - Mike Wallace

    S3:E12

    Bill O'Reilly spills the beans on Stephen, and says what he really thought of him on his show. Stephen interviews Coach Bob Mancini of the Saginaw Spirit. And he doesn't like how he stands on the SMU dispute over Bush's library.

    Director:Jim Hoskinson
    Writer:Unknown

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  13. The Colbert Report Season 3 Episode 13 - Barry Lando
    7.2/10(18 votes)

    #13 - Barry Lando

    S3:E13

    Colbert wins bet with mayor of Oshawa after Saginaw Spirit defeated Oshawa Generals. Colbert discusses Microsoft paying someone for Wikipedia edits, and concludes that reality has become a commodity. Wag of the finger to Scientology, which named Tom Cruise as the "Christ" of the cult.

    Director:Jim Hoskinson
    Writer:Unknown

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  14. The Colbert Report Season 3 Episode 14 - Donna Shalala
    7.0/10(18 votes)

    #14 - Donna Shalala

    S3:E14

    Stephen opens the show by showing a clip from Fox News' Fox and Friends, talking about the invisible beam that makes a person think he is on fire. Stephen then talks about how he stole his neighbor's New York Times and argues with David Leonhardt about what one could do with $1.2 trillion. This is followed by a new segment, "Judge, Jury, and Executioner" and ends by revealing the new microwave (fitted with a Colbert Report logo) which he would be sending to Bill O'Reilly after stealing his earlier.

    Director:Jim Hoskinson
    Writer:Unknown

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  15. The Colbert Report Season 3 Episode 15 - Jed Babbin
    7.0/10(17 votes)

    #15 - Jed Babbin

    S3:E15

    Stephen opens the show by discussing the "problem" with Global Warming and in protest replaces Bobby with a 5000 Watt heat lamp. This is followed by the return of the "On Notice" board and the introduction of the "Fantasies" board. Jane Fonda (his fantasy) and The Weather Channel are placed on notice and Lutherans and E Street Band are taken off. This is followed by the 39th installment of Better Know a District, with New York's 6th congressional district representative,Gregory Meeks.

    Director:Jim Hoskinson
    Writer:Unknown

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  16. The Colbert Report Season 3 Episode 16 - Chuck Schumer
    7.3/10(18 votes)

    #16 - Chuck Schumer

    S3:E16

    Stephen comments on the 2007 Boston Mooninite Scare that occurred in Boston and laments the fact that he can no longer proceed with his obviously threatening-looking advertisements. This is followed by the "Movies Destroying America" segment, commenting on Steve Carrell's nomination and Ellen DeGeneres hosting. The show is ended by Stephen presenting "The Most Poetic F#@king Thing I've Ever Heard"

    Director:Jim Hoskinson
    Writer:Unknown

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  17. The Colbert Report Season 3 Episode 17 - Wendy Kopp
    7.0/10(17 votes)

    #17 - Wendy Kopp

    S3:E17

    Stephen is ecstatic at the slaughtering the Bears underwent in Super Bowl XLI. Also, he introduces a new product "Formula 419" (A combination of his Formula 401 and 18, Peyton Manning's Jersey number). Then, Stephen notes that Stephen Jr. has returned from Canada and back into Washington (unfortunately in Washington's 3rd, where Better Known representative Brian Baird has lobbied for a new hunting law).

    Director:Jim Hoskinson
    Writer:Unknown

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  18. The Colbert Report Season 3 Episode 18 - Charlie LeDuff
    7.0/10(17 votes)

    #18 - Charlie LeDuff

    S3:E18

    Stephen receives a message from Master Media International that they would be praying on his behalf on February 22. This is followed by the 40th installment of Better Know A District (Ohio's 18th with congressman Zack Space).

    Director:Jim Hoskinson
    Writer:Unknown

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  19. The Colbert Report Season 3 Episode 19 - Steven Pinker
    7.0/10(17 votes)

    #19 - Steven Pinker

    S3:E19

    Stephen starts by introducing a new segment, "California Values Watch". After addressing San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom's recent problems. Then talks about the controversy stirred between Representatives Loretta Sanchez and Joe Baca. This is followed by the series finale of Tek Jansen.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  20. The Colbert Report Season 3 Episode 20 - Debra Dickerson
    7.4/10(18 votes)

    #20 - Debra Dickerson

    S3:E20

    Stephen starts by talking about the astronaut incident on the news and especially that everyone talks about Lisa Nowak wearing a diaper, admitting that he too wears a diaper during his workday. He then claims that Henry Kissinger called him to get him to run for president, which he says he will "not" do (or will he?) but he has formed an exploratory committee on whether to form an exploratory committee.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  21. The Colbert Report Season 3 Episode 21 - Michael Oppenheimer
    7.1/10(17 votes)

    #21 - Michael Oppenheimer

    S3:E21

    Stephen starts by dancing/singing "My Humps" behind his desk and discusses Grammys. He then talks about criticism of the Iraq War transitioning into "The Word." This is followed by a "Tip of the Hat - Wag of the Finger" segment, in which he commends Australian Prime Minister John Howard for his attack on Barack Obama, but also chastises him for attacking an American citizen.

    Director:Jim Hoskinson
    Writer:Unknown

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  22. The Colbert Report Season 3 Episode 22 - Sheryl WuDunn
    7.0/10(17 votes)

    #22 - Sheryl WuDunn

    S3:E22

    Colbert talks about the Chinese Menace, entitling a Colbert Report special report "Apocalypse Mao: Murdered By The Orient's Success".

    Director:Jim Hoskinson
    Writer:Unknown

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  23. The Colbert Report Season 3 Episode 23 - Lance Armstrong
    7.0/10(18 votes)

    #23 - Lance Armstrong

    S3:E23

    Stephen makes correction, that the Chinese have four times more population than the US, not three. Colbert admonishes people teaching seniors about sex. Sport Report: about the Westminster Dog Show, the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition, and mentions that the Saginaw Spirit had reached the playoffs.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  24. The Colbert Report Season 3 Episode 24 - Shashi Tharoor
    7.0/10(20 votes)

    #24 - Shashi Tharoor

    S3:E24

    Colbert talks about how Mastermedia International will pray for him on February 22nd. Asks J. J. Abrams how his prayer day went, with photo of Jimmie "J.J." Walker showing. Then he moves on, to talking about Helen Thomas losing her front row seat at the White House press room. Interviews Candice Bergen by phone about her prayer day too. Better Know A District guest was Vic Snyder from Arkansas's 2nd congressional district.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  25. The Colbert Report Season 3 Episode 25 - Zev Chafets
    7.0/10(17 votes)

    #25 - Zev Chafets

    S3:E25

    Stephen compares Britain leaving Iraq to Britain leaving the U.S. and India - saying it will cause a flourish of Democracy.

    Director:Jim Hoskinson
    Writer:Unknown

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Season 3 Ratings Summary

"Ethan Nadelmann" is the best rated episode of "The Colbert Report" season 3. It scored 7.3/10 based on 18 votes. Directed by Jim Hoskinson and written by Unknown, it aired on 1/8/2007. This episode is rated 0.3 points higher than the second-best, "Jim Cramer".