5.3/1023 votesLoading...#1 - What a Boy Wants
Season 2 Episode 12 - Aired 6/10/2003
The Osbournes struggle to come up with a gift for Jack's birthday. Kelly strongly objects when Jack dances with Christina Aguilera, whom Kelly had previously insulted on a number of occasions. Kelly complains that Jack is disrespecting her by hanging around someone that she dislikes, and insists that she would never do this to Jack. Jack tries to explain that Christina actually had nice things to say about Kelly. The kids get into a brawl, which Sharon must break up. Meanwhile, Ozzy visits the dentist and intakes a bit too much nitrous oxide. The family visits a medieval-themed club to celebrate Jack's birthday, and buys him a knight suit. Jack tries out his new sword by dueling with a buddy in the street.
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5.6/1019 votesLoading...#2 - Hawaii Five Ozz (2)
Season 4 Episode 3 - Aired 1/31/2005
Ozzy, Sharon and Jack head to Hawaii for their vacation. Ozzy continues to be miserable for a while, but cheers up following a private luau. Jack goes diving in a shark cage. His friends invite strippers to the luau, and behave in ways that embarrass him. The traveling party winds up leaving without Jack's friends when they fail to show up on time for their flight.
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5.8/1024 votesLoading...#3 - It's a Hard Knock Life
Season 2 Episode 8 - Aired 1/21/2003
Kelly grows frustrated with all of the appearances she must make as a recording artist. She yells and screams at everyone. Sharon sympathizes with her, noting that she just wants to be a teenager and is having a hard time handling all of the demands being placed on her. She asks Ozzy to go talk to Kelly and reassure her. Kelly quickly sends him scampering away as she throws a screaming fit. Kelly flies to New York to work on her album. She does a photo shoot for Vanity Fair, and ends up storming off and having another tantrum. She later meets P.Diddy at a party. He asks her to be his guest and gives her an expensive watch as an apology after one of his security guards knocks her down. Sharon becomes fascinated with the idea of becoming P.Diddy's mother-in-law, and embarrasses Kelly by refusing to stop talking about it. Ozzy and Kelly listen to some of her songs together. He tells her that she has done well and expresses his pride. Meanwhile, Jack has problems with a band th
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5.8/1015 votesLoading...#4 - Valentine Daze
Season 3 Episode 10 - Aired 5/4/2004
Kelly continues to spend time with Rob, but doesn't want to be his girlfriend because he wants a committed relationship and she feels that she is too young to settle down. Sharon and Melinda try to convince her to change her mind. Jack heads off to Las Vegas. Ozzy and Sharon worry that he will spend too much time gambling. Kelly tells her parents that she is going to drive to San Diego. They don't want her to go, but eventually offer their approval. She actually has lied and is headed to Vegas as well. Ozzy becomes annoyed with Sharon for trying to decorate his studio. Ozzy and Sharon spend Valentine's Day together and express the hopes that their kids will meet someone special soon. They reflect on their years together.
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5.9/1015 votesLoading...#5 - Return of the Ring
Season 3 Episode 4 - Aired 2/17/2004
Ozzy loses a diamond pinkie ring that is worth over $100,000. He becomes obsessed with trying to find it, and pleads with Sharon not to buy any more jewelry. She doesn't pay attention to his decree, and also buys his and her Bentleys. Ozzy eventually finds the ring, but is upset to learn that Sharon plans to buy Kelly a ring for her birthday. Meanwhile, one of the dogs, Colin, has to be fixed because he continuously humps everything in sight.
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- 6.0/1019 votesLoading...
#6 - Flea's a Crowd
Season 2 Episode 13 - Aired 6/17/2003
The pets suffer from a flea infestation, creating havoc around the house and leaving everyone itchy and miserable. Kelly prepares to go on a trip to Philadelphia to visit her boyfriend, Bert. Sharon does not want her to go away alone (she prefers her to have security at all times), and drives Kelly crazy as she somewhat jokingly nags her. Sharon has Robert and Jack move a heavy statue out to the garden, but never seems satisfied by the location. She forces them to move it several times. The house is redecorated, and Ozzy finds himself extremely bewildered by a giant statue of a hand. Kelly goes against her parents' wishes and gets a nose ring, which Sharon wants her to remove. Kelly later mistakes the nose ring for something on her nose and accidentally flicks it out.
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- 6.0/1017 votesLoading...
#7 - Mama, I'm Staying Home
Season 2 Episode 16 - Aired 7/8/2003
Ozzy decides to stay home while Sharon, Melinda and the kids travel to New York. Sharon hopes that Ozzy and Robert will spend more time together, but the two mostly avoid one another because they have little in common. Robert spends a lot of time listening to music and dancing in his guest house, and Ozzy cannot get one of the songs out of his head. Ozzy buys a lot of kitchenware, and spends over $600 on candy for Sharon. Meanwhile, Melinda learns that she is pregnant, and annoys Kelly by talking about her pregnancy nonstop. Kelly also gets into a playful wrestling match with Sharon.
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6.1/1023 votesLoading...#8 - Meow Means No!
Season 2 Episode 7 - Aired 1/14/2003
Kelly recruits her friend Sarah to play the drums in her band. However, Sarah has never had any formal lessons, and can't seem to keep up with the others during rehearsals. Everyone becomes very frustrated, and reaches the conclusion that Sarah must be replaced by someone with more experience. Kelly can't bring herself to fire her friend, so Sharon volunteers to handle it. Sarah gets $10,000 for her services, and a job handling the slate during the filming of Kelly's video for ""Shut Up."" Dill returns to town, and Jack invites him to stay at the house. Ozzy is not thrilled about this, but doesn't stand in his way. Dill and Jack engage in a political debate that seems to bore the rest of their friends. They later engage in a bizarre wrestling match in the driveway that finds them stripping half-naked. One of the dogs, Arthur, becomes too frisky as he deals with leftover ""feelings"" after being fixed. The family believes that Arthur has raped Gus the cat, although a veterinarian
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- 6.1/1017 votesLoading...
#9 - Tennis Racket
Season 2 Episode 17 - Aired 7/15/2003
Sharon receives a peace offering from one of her folk-singing neighbors, but the neighbors on the other side begin to drive the family crazy by playing tennis at all hours of the day and night. Jack tries playing drums outside, and Ozzy blasts the loudest, most obnoxious music he can find. However, nothing seems to have an effect on the neighbors. Jack shoots at the court with his paintball gun, leading to a visit from the police. Sharon suspects that the neighbors are responsible when three of the Osbournes' cats disappear, although the coyotes seem the more likely culprit. Kelly brings home another cat, but Ozzy isn't very happy about it.
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6.1/1015 votesLoading...#10 - The English Patient (2)
Season 3 Episode 6 - Aired 4/6/2004
After three weeks in the hospital, Ozzy is released and continues to convalesce at his home in England. He and Sharon miss each other desperately. Ozzy develops a craving for eclairs, and cannot get enough of them. Meanwhile, Jack finally gets a hair cut after two years. Sharon experiences more problems with her talk show. Publicists begin pulling their clients from the show because they do not approve of Sharon's behavior, and Sharon grows tired of the constant tinkering with the show (adding cooking segments and makeovers). She decides to quit the show, and no one really fights her on it. She and Ozzy agree that they will no longer work unless it is a project they can take together. Ozzy is able to fly back home to Los Angeles, and is greeted warmly by the family.
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- 6.2/1018 votesLoading...
#11 - Run Ozzy Run
Season 2 Episode 14 - Aired 6/24/2003
Ozzy continues to work out with his trainer, Pete, who Ozzy jokes may be a robot because he never stops talking, sweats, eats or goes to the bathroom. Ozzy is to run five miles on his 54th birthday. He runs almost two miles before he is stopped by a foot injury. The family throws a party for Ozzy's birthday, complete with a fireworks display by Jack and Robert. Ozzy eventually tries to run the five miles again, and succeeds this time. Meanwhile, Ozzy has problems with his new car, as the voice recognition system can't understand a word he says.
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6.2/1021 votesLoading...#12 - The Show Must Go Oz
Season 3 Episode 1 - Aired 1/27/2004
Sharon faces pressure from the powers that be behind her talk show, who are disappointed in her performance and expect her to work harder. She refuses to incorporate their suggestions into the show. Kelly and Jack grow tired of appearing on Sharon's show; both refuse her request for a co-hosting appearance. Ozzy very reluctantly agrees to appear in the Halloween episode. He believes that he is going to just be a guest, and is furious when he learns (at the last minute) that he is to serve as co-host. Meanwhile, the Osbournes' property undergoes some re-decorating. The workmen struggle to move a gigantic Buddha statue across the yard.
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- 6.4/1027 votesLoading...
#13 - Catching Up with the Osbournes
Season 2 Episode 1 - Aired 11/5/2002
Sharon sends Ozzy, Kelly and Jack off on a tour of stars' homes so that she can have the house to herself and get some rest. She discusses the enormous (and immediate) impact that the show has had on their lives, and the unexpected fame that has resulted--particularly for Kelly and Lola. She notes all of the press the family has received, both on television and in print, and all of the merchandise that has been released in conjunction with the show. Ozzy and Jack play with their talking dolls on the tour bus and drive Kelly crazy. Sharon also mentions several important events that have occurred since the end of the first season, including a visit from Mike Myers (as part of a commercial the family filmed) and the chance to meet the queen at Buckingham Palace. Sharon also refers to her war of words with Bill Cosby, who upset her by making negative comments about the family. She was particularly angered by the fact that he called her children ""sad,"" and responded to his remarks wit
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6.4/1026 votesLoading...#14 - Must Come Down
Season 2 Episode 3 - Aired 12/3/2002
Sharon recuperates at the family's Malibu beach house while undergoing treatment for colon cancer. She vows to beat the disease, and tries to maintain as normal a life as possible. Everyone talks about their reactions to the news of her diagnosis. Ozzy struggles to remain sober while on tour with Ozzfest. He had already been going through detox, and the news of Sharon's illness has made a difficult situation much worse. A family friend/employee tries to help Ozzy by helping him get into yoga and reading him poetry, but Ozzy is decidedly less than impressed. Some people try to talk to him about how religion helped them overcome their addictions, but he does not want any part of it. He is terrified by the prospect of losing Sharon, and doesn't want to be away from her. However, he elects to tough it out and stay on tour because he doesn't want to cause Sharon any further stress. Ozzy comes home for a few days during a break in the tour. Sharon tries to have a fire going in the
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6.5/1030 votesLoading...#15 - Smells Like Teen Spirits
Season 2 Episode 6 - Aired 1/7/2003
Sharon makes amends with her father after not speaking with him for over twenty years. Kelly keeps going out and getting drunk every night, despite Sharon's pleas. Ozzy tries to warn her of the consequences of her actions, as they can't protect her if she gets arrested for underage drinking. Pop star Mandy Moore comes over to the house to hang out with Jack. Jack also spends a lot of time partying, and ignores his trainer's repeated efforts to get him to change his lifestyle. Kelly and Robert annoy Ozzy when they disturb his sleep with their loud, drunken behavior. Sharon's father tries to give her advice on how to rein in the kids. Kelly becomes very ill after drinking too much, and claims that she is going to stay in all weekend. Sharon intentionally tortures her throughout her hangover by talking about disgusting food items. Ozzy becomes a grandfather when his oldest daughter, Jessica, has a baby girl. Ozzy later becomes addicted to burritos.
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- 6.5/1017 votesLoading...
#16 - Fists of Fury
Season 2 Episode 15 - Aired 7/1/2003
Ozzy and Sharon prepare to leave for a few days on a Hawaiian vacation. Ozzy tells Jack that he is no longer to have people over at the house after 11 PM. Kelly is afraid that Jack will turn the house into a nonstop party while their parents are gone. Sharon promises to talk to him, but this does little to reassure Kelly. Jack has a lot of people over late at night, and they soon begin using the pool and making a lot of noise. Kelly becomes very upset because she is tired of Jack and his friends keeping her from sleeping. He refuses to listen to Melinda when she asks them to be quiet. When Kelly confronts Jack, he dares her to hit him, so she nails him in the face. They get into a fight, and the staff has to pry them apart. Kelly calls Sharon for sympathy, but Jack gets on the line and complains about the cuts to the face he sustained from the punch. Kelly feels Jack deserved what he got; Melinda agrees somewhat, but warns Kelly to be careful about her temper. Sharon and Ozz
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6.6/1025 votesLoading...#17 - Beauty and the Bert
Season 2 Episode 5 - Aired 12/17/2002
Kelly begins dating Bert McCracken, lead singer of the band The Used. Sharon worries after hearing some stories about Bert (particularly the vulgar nickname he has within his band), while Jack thinks that Bert is weird because he professed his love to Kelly after only a few weeks of dating. Kelly warns that she will run off to Vegas and marry before the end of the year. Sharon actually encourages this, saying that she needs some excitement. Sharon worries about the situation, but Ozzy encourages her to relax and just focus on living one day at a time. Sharon wants Bert to stay at the house (and sleep in Jack's room) when his band comes to town. Kelly refuses to bring him over to meet the family because she fears they will threaten or embarrass him. She finally tries to sneak him into the house, but Sharon catches them. She asks Bert about his nickname, leaving Kelly mortified. Meanwhile, Ozzy has more problems with the television set, which winds up stuck on a cooking channel
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6.6/1019 votesLoading...#18 - Car Jacked
Season 3 Episode 2 - Aired 2/3/2004
Jack turns 18 and receives a car as a birthday present. Kelly doesn't believe that he will pass his driver's test because he is such a poor driver, but Sharon disagrees. Jack practices parallel parking with his assistant, and winds up crashing into another car. Jack passes his test, receiving a perfect score on the driving portion of the exam. Meanwhile, Kelly frets about yet another confrontation with Christina Aguilera, this time during the MTV Europe Awards.
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6.6/1016 votesLoading...#19 - Number One Fan
Season 4 Episode 7 - Aired 2/28/2005
A 25-year-old fan wins a charity auction for the right to spend the day with Sharon. Sharon is touched by the woman's generosity and invites her to spend the night at the Osbourne home. Meanwhile, Jack must attend an online traffic school after getting a speeding ticket.
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6.7/1035 votesLoading...#20 - My Big Fat Jewish Wedding
Season 2 Episode 11 - Aired 2/11/2003
Sharon and Ozzy decide to renew their wedding vows at a hotel on New Year's Eve. Kelly is to serve as flower girl, with Jack and Robert as ushers. Kelly objects to the fact that the ceremony will be conducted by a rabbi; although Sharon's father is Jewish, Kelly insists that a person cannot be Jewish unless their mother is. Ozzy is not at all enthused about the ceremony. Kelly and Sarah are less than impressed with Jack's latest female ""friend,"" particularly because she once dated Jack's best friend. Sharon catches the girl in bed with Jack, and later finds condoms in the room. She tries to encourage Jack to settle down and find a steady girlfriend, but he would rather juggle several girls because the idea of a relationship freaks him out. Ozzy and Jack have various body parts plucked, shaved and waxed before the wedding. Sharon recalls the couple's first wedding night, when Ozzy passed out drunk in the hallway. Ozzy insists that he will not drink this time. Sharon recites he
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- 6.7/1019 votesLoading...
#21 - A Little Ditty About Jack and Brieann
Season 2 Episode 18 - Aired 7/22/2003
Jack visits the home of singer/actress Courtney Love. He begins dating Kurt Cobain's sister Brieann, who is staying with Courtney. They get along very well, and Jack teaches her some of his favorite recipes, including beans on toast. Sharon is touched to learn that Jack has a tattoo of the word ""Mom"" with a heart around it. (He got it right after she was diagnosed with cancer.) Ozzy tries out some song lyrics on Sharon, who is busy shopping at the time. He later plays a demo of the new song for Jack and Brieann. Ozzy is bewildered by a rotisserie turkey as it cooks in the kitchen.
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6.8/1050 votesLoading...#22 - For the Record
Season 1 Episode 3 - Aired 3/19/2002
Ozzy makes the rounds to promote the release of his new album, Down to Earth. He reluctantly takes a limousine (which he hates) to Tower Records for an in-store appearance. Kelly attends the event and is surprised when several fans recognize her. Ozzy and Sharon are later guests on Loveline. Jack listens to the show and is horrified when his parents discuss their sex life. Jack goes away on a camping trip with his school while Ozzy, Sharon and Kelly are in New York. Ozzy appears on Late Night With Conan O'Brien and MTV's TRL, where Kelly joins him for a promo. Jack hates the camp, and gets in trouble for throwing rocks at other campers and arguing with the counselors. Sharon tries to help Kelly's best friend, Robert, shop for a gift for her 17th birthday. The family throws a big party in Kelly's honor. She goes out with her friends after the party and winds up getting a tattoo, which she unsuccessfully tries to hide from Sharon.
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6.8/1040 votesLoading...#23 - Dinner with Ozzy
Season 1 Episode 10 - Aired 5/7/2002
Ozzy sits down to a multi-course meal in the dining room and reflects on his life. He says that he doesn't know the definition of a ""normal"" family, as he is so used to his lifestyle that he doesn't know anything else. He explains that he always encourages honesty because he had to endure so much secrecy growing up. However, his blue collar background also instilled him with an appreciation for hard work, so he tries to do enough of his own chores as he can. He discusses Sharon and the kids, and his battle with dyslexia and ADD. Ozzy is thrilled when he is presented with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and receives praise from the mayor of Hollywood. The episode concludes with a montage of season highlights.
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6.8/1027 votesLoading...#24 - The Ozz Man and the Sea
Season 2 Episode 4 - Aired 12/10/2002
Kelly travels to Europe for a series of interviews and appearances. She is upset when her bag is lost (apparently seized by security because of concerns over her gun-shaped pin), leaving her without any extra underwear. She first visits Germany, where she deals with several adoring fans and tries to fake her way through a radio interview conducted in German. Kelly then goes to England to perform ""Papa Don't Preach"" on Top of the Pops. Jack heads to North Carolina to film a guest spot for Dawson's Creek. Sharon is depressed about the fact that everyone is away at the same time. Ozzy tries to cheer her up by building a fire outside the beach house so that she can spend some time outside. The fire department gives him some advice on building a pit for the fire, but the ocean is not very cooperative. When the fire finally gets going, Ozzy gives Sharon a good laugh when he tries to catch a fish in the ocean--and ends up falling on his butt.
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6.8/1023 votesLoading...#25 - Cleanliness Is Next to Ozzyness
Season 2 Episode 9 - Aired 1/28/2003
Ozzy grows increasingly tired of the dogs and their tendency to go to the bathroom everywhere. Because Sharon's immune system is very weak due to the chemo, he fears that all of the germs will cause her to develop an infection. He constantly cleans everything and tries to get everyone to wear gloves around Sharon. He also urges Sharon not to let the dogs on the bed, but she ignores him. Ozzy meets with a contractor about plans to build an outdoor kennel for all of the dogs, but Sharon quickly kills this idea. Jack and Sharon argue when she insists on going out to dinner. He believes she should rest, but she is feeling well and can't stand to be cooped up in the house. Sharon takes Robert shopping for furniture for his new room. She explains that Robert was a good friend to Aimee and Kelly after the Osbournes moved from England, so they have taken him in after his mother's death (from colon cancer). Jack bonds with Robert and shows him how to make one of his favorite treats, be
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The Worst Episodes of The Osbournes
Every episode of The Osbournes ranked from worst to best. Explore the Worst Episodes of The Osbournes!
The Osbournes is an American reality television program featuring the domestic life of heavy metal singer Ozzy Osbourne and his family. The series premiered on...
Genres:RealityComedy
Network:MTV
Worst Episodes Summary
"What a Boy Wants" is the worst rated episode of "The Osbournes". It scored 5.3/10 based on 23 votes. Directed by N/A and written by N/A, it aired on 6/10/2003. This episode scored 0.3 points lower than the second lowest rated, "Hawaii Five Ozz (2)".