When Mike is unable to get into the phone box to place Alf's bet on a horse which ultimately wins, Alf decides it is time for the Garnetts to have their own phone. Despite Mike trying to wind him up by pretending to be the operator, Alf is proud of his new possession but gets fed up when Else allows Min from next door to come in and use the phone, turning down the volume on the television show he is trying to watch

Believing that Alf is scared to be a blood donor Mike goads him by betting him that even if he did give blood it would be rejected. This does the trick but Alf is sure that his blood will be given to somebody of importance and then has a dream that he is at Buckingham Palace where he has helped out the queen by his donation.

It's New Year's Eve and Alf, not wanting to join the others at the party over the road, gets out his old Monopoly set. When the rest of the family returns they have a game, leading to the inevitable falling out over property between Alf and Mike, and Alf taking drastic action.

Out of grudging respect for a dead female neighbor he despised, Alf orders the telly off for the whole day. Mike then tells Alf that his beloved West Ham will play Fulham, on telly that evening, but will Alf watch the Hammers 7–2 triumph

Despite the fact that he confiscated local kids' football, Alf is still invited by the vicar to act as coach for the youth soccer team, attracting scorn from Mike. Needless to say Alf is not a good trainer, concentrating on the skills of only one player, though he does attract the attention of some well-known soccer players.

Alf returns home from the pub having bought a mongrel puppy. The rest of the family find it adorable but it is not exactly house-trained and the more the others find it charming through its anti-social antics the more Alf comes to resent it and wants to get rid of it.

When Else is laid up with bronchitis her sister Maud comes to look after the family. She and Alf hate each other and, after he insults her once too often, she refuses to cook for him. She also sees the opportunity to make him jealous when Else's old flame George Pringle comes to visit and Maud hints at something that might have happened between him and Else on Brighton beach before the war.

Despite Rita giving birth to his new grandson, Alf is a reluctant hospital visitor, as he would much rather be down the pub. A brief moment of bonding with the baby is quickly interrupted by indignation when he hears Mike's proposed name for the infant.

Alf's in the money; celebrating at the pub he meets a friend, and thinks he has a sure fire way to make some more.

Alf takes the family on a holiday to Bournemouth but he moans the whole time. Later Alf falls into the pool when his chair is moved

Alf speaks for the silent majority: "If we want a proper democracy here, we've got to start shooting a few people."

"It's all very well letting women have children, but they shouldn't be allowed to bring them up."

Alf, in a wheelchair with a broken leg, on overpopulation: "Let's have a war and get rid of some of your bloody youth!"

Alf is missing Else who is still away in Australia and Rita and Mike convince him to make a long-distance phone call to her. But Else answers and lays the phone down to answer the doorbell, the time clicks away and the bill grows. Dandy Nichols last appearance as Else Garnett on the series.

Min and Bert Reed from next door have a fight and split up.

Alf, the Reads and the Rawlins get involved in the inevitable political argument. Alf regards long term Labour minister Anthony Wedgewood Benn a fraud because he has a title – which he will later renounce – and lives in a wealthy Conservative neighbourhood. Mike, however, turns the tables on his father-in-law by pointing out that Alf is a Conservative voter living in a far from wealthy Labour stronghold.

Min's mother has died and everybody has returned from the funeral though Min is adamant that her mother will be reincarnated as a blackbird. Having made sure that he has not already learnt of its outcome Alf settles down to watch the Ali-Foreman fight on TV but there are, of course, complications.

Alf has been charged to look after the Christmas club subscriptions at the local pub. However maths is not his strong point and he has trouble balancing the books. This in turn leads to the regulars suspecting that, instead of intending to pay them out, he is keeping the cash to join his wife in Oz and an argument breaks out, though he is almost importuned by a gay man.

Alf is heartbroken to learn Else isn't returning to England and has written a letter confirming it to Rita.

Alf and Bert head off to go golfing

With it clear Else isn't returning, Alf considers sale of the house and moving in with Min and Reed next door.

Min goes on strike as housekeeper.

While cleaning the windows, Alf gets stuck on the ledge.

Alf and Bert go out for the day and Alf gets drunk and arrested for riding a bicycle intoxicated

Alf returns home after being laid off work to find a surprise birthday party with friends and family. Arguments about politics, Catholics and the Irish fill the night. A near fight between Alf and neighbor Wally Carry is interrupted when a telegram arrives from Else in Australia asking for a divorce