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Comedy

The Best Episodes of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps

Every episode of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps ranked from best to worst. Let's dive into the Best Episodes of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps!

The Best Episodes of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps

Sitcom about the lives and loves of five twenty-somethings in Runcorn.

Seasons9

  1. Background image for Filthy Brunching
    7.9/10(38 votes)

    #1 - Filthy Brunching

    S4:E8

    Janet wants to introduce something a bit more adventurous in to her sex life with Jonny, but Jonny isn't playing along! Gaz is worried what Donna may be getting up too with her tutor, so he storms round to the cafe they're in, and threatens him! He thinks there's a gun in his pocket, turns out, his penis problem has been solved! Louise gets a new job, which puts her in control of Jonny's criminal record, a few alterations are made and the police are after him! They shoot him! Will he live or die? Find out next series!

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    Director:Unknown
  2. Background image for Fish
    7.6/10(42 votes)

    #2 - Fish

    S3:E2

    Gaz and Donna haven't had sex for a few days, and Donna gets a nasty shock when she comes home and see's what Gaz has done to himself! Jonny wants Janet to quit smoking to save a bit of money for their wedding, but Janet finds it hard. Louise finds she has a secret admirer.

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    Director:Unknown
  3. Background image for Piggy Goes Oink
    7.6/10(38 votes)

    #3 - Piggy Goes Oink

    S4:E2

    Janet tells Jonny he has to move out of the house, he now has nowhere to go! Until he meets Kate, the barmaid in the pub, and they get very close! Gaz is still not happy with Donna's plans to become a student, so he challenges David to a drinking contest! But Donna is more interested in Louise's book, which brings the girls to tears! So much so, Janet realises she made a big mistake dumping Jonny, and goes to get him back, only to find him and Kate sharing a kiss!

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    Director:Unknown
  4. Background image for Mate Date
    7.6/10(39 votes)

    #4 - Mate Date

    S4:E6

    Janet has a new boss at the bakery, that turns out to be Louise! But she has a rather different way of doing things! Donna wants Gaz to split Jonny and Kate up, but tells him not to sleep with her, but he ignores this, takes her out on a date, but Donna finds out and stops him from sleeping with her! Kate, however, is furious that Gaz tried to come on to her, and tells Jonny to choose between her or his friends, but its an easy choice for Jonny, and he dumps her!

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    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown
  5. Background image for War, Hurrgh!
    7.6/10(34 votes)

    #5 - War, Hurrgh!

    S6:E8

    Janet starts her new job at the Archers and soon thinks of a way to entice more elderly customers into the archers meanwhile Jonny tries to help Gaz become a Dad.

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    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown
  6. Background image for When Janet Killed Jonny
    7.6/10(55 votes)

    #6 - When Janet Killed Jonny

    S6:E10

    With the Archer now closed, the gang head off down to break into the now dilapidated pub to see what beer is left over, undeterred by the headlines of 'The Curse of the Archer'. This spoof horror episode sees all kinds of gory goings-on as the gang are trapped in the Archer, unable to escape until sunrise.

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    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown
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  8. Background image for Munch
    7.5/10(47 votes)

    #7 - Munch

    S3:E1

    Janet says she won't marry Jonny until he's got a job, so he's goes looking, but nobody will have him! Gaz finds out he has a brother and Louise has lunch with Janet's ex boyfriend Andy, but doesn't realise she will have to pay for it!

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    Director:Unknown
  9. Background image for Kangaroo
    7.5/10(41 votes)

    #8 - Kangaroo

    S3:E3

    After a bit of thought and advice from her mum, and Janet, Donna decides that she should try something new with Gaz, but she doesn't realise he's gonna bring Munch home with him! Jonny realises he'll have to ask Janet's dad's permission to marry Janet, and David and Louise don't get off to a very good start in their relationship.

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    Director:Unknown
  10. Background image for Hospikal
    7.5/10(40 votes)

    #9 - Hospikal

    S3:E5

    Jonny goes to see Janet's dad to beg for his permission for their wedding, and discovers he has a secret, but its a bit of a different secret to the one he tells Janet! Munch finds Gaz unconscious in the garage, so he calls an ambulance, only to find out that he'd only got drunk, so there's definetly nothing wrong with him! Donna tricks Louise into forgiving her.

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  11. Background image for Schluballybub
    7.5/10(41 votes)

    #10 - Schluballybub

    S3:E10

    Gaz's backside is a cause for concern, while Janet has second thoughts about Jonny.

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    Director:Unknown
  12. Background image for Cuggles
    7.5/10(37 votes)

    #11 - Cuggles

    S4:E4

    Jonny and Kate can't get any privacy to have sex, so Gaz lets them use the flat, which is all very well, until Donna gets home! Louise decides she needs to get a job after she graduates, but unfortunately discovers a sociology degree won't get her a much better job than working in Pizza Hut! Gaz is upset that Donna has been neglecting him, but Janet is around to comfort him, but unfortunately things get a little bit out of control...

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    Director:Unknown
  13. Background image for Homeless and Horny
    7.5/10(38 votes)

    #12 - Homeless and Horny

    S4:E7

    Gaz has a problem, his penis, or ""Mr Nudge"" as he calls it, isn't working properly, he's tried everything, from fantasies about Fern Britton to wearing a cock ring! Jonny is struggling with single life, he's got no money to buy a pint! Janet wants him to come home, but he can't, he has his pride! Louise gets carried away in her job at the bakery and sacks everyone, but then finds she's been sacked herself! Jonny is still resisting Janet's pleas to make him come home, until he see's what she's wearing...

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    Director:Unknown
  14. Background image for Jammy Dodgers
    7.4/10(39 votes)

    #13 - Jammy Dodgers

    S3:E8

    Janet tries to get passionate with Jonny, while Gaz wants Donna to go out so he can get passionate with himself.

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    Director:Unknown
  15. Background image for My Delicious Guava
    7.4/10(37 votes)

    #14 - My Delicious Guava

    S4:E3

    Janet is still getting over losing Jonny, and Louise wants to move in with her, but a nasty spider gets in the way! Jonny tries to be manly to impress Kate on their first date, but ends up falling off a wall and breaking his foot! Its Gaz's big night, and all his friends have deserted him! Even Donna, who would rather go and watch a play than see him sing! But he has a wild night in The Archer performing Tom Jones songs, but to a very small crowd!

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    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown
  16. Background image for Bone with the Wind
    7.3/10(65 votes)

    #15 - Bone with the Wind

    S1:E3

    Donna moves her toothbrush into Gaz's flat, and he reacts badly, thinking it's the first step to moving in completely. Meanwhile, Flo is encouraging Donna to move out of the family home. Louise is getting chatted up by Kev, who, from her description, the other two are convinced is gay - it turns out they are right, and Louise decides to make the best of things by becoming a ‘fag hag'. Janet tries various ways to improve her love life with Jonny, but just makes him suspicious, he thinks that she's been sleeping with a bloke named Pedro, who Gaz made up because he was too drunk to think straight.

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    Director:Unknown
  17. Background image for Ugly Babies
    7.3/10(51 votes)

    #16 - Ugly Babies

    S1:E6

    The pitter patter of tiny feet may be just around the corner for Janet and Jonny. Janet turns to Donna and Louise for advice. Louise is her usual tactless self in her reaction, ‘Excellent, I have a single mum friend to show off to my friends at University' while Donna heads to the chemist to buy Janet a pregnancy test. But Janet can't muster up a sample so Donna turns to Flo for hints on possible pregnancy symptoms which, according to Flo, include hot flushes and a passion for Guinness. Jonny has not taken the news about possible fatherhood too well, but several beers down the pub and a talking-to from Louise later he decides that parenthood is perfect for him. When Janet finally has the results from her pregnancy test—Is she or isn't she? And just why is Donna taking such an interest in the whole matter—is there something she needs to tell Gaz?

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    Director:Unknown
  18. Background image for Dresses, Dresses, Dresses
    7.3/10(44 votes)

    #17 - Dresses, Dresses, Dresses

    S3:E6

    The girls go shopping for Janet's wedding dress, and Louise and Donna cause a bit of trouble, especially for Janet! Gaz and Jonny discover a new kind of beer with a bit of a difference!

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  19. Background image for Fockin' Mokky Bokka
    7.3/10(39 votes)

    #18 - Fockin' Mokky Bokka

    S3:E7

    Jonny gets a job and an offer he can't refuse, Gaz and Donna are kept up all night, and David has tips for Louise on how to cope with growing up.

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    Director:Unknown
  20. Background image for Goblins
    7.3/10(28 votes)

    #19 - Goblins

    S6:E2

    Janet gets a job, making elves, to earning herself some money.

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    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown
  21. Background image for Finger Sniffing
    7.3/10(25 votes)

    #20 - Finger Sniffing

    S6:E7

    Things get personal between Janet and Donna when they both apply for the managers job at the archers.Jonny gives Gaz Corinthian after coming to the conclusion that the baby is his.

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    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown
  22. Background image for Fags, Shags and Kebabs
    7.2/10(80 votes)

    #21 - Fags, Shags and Kebabs

    S1:E1

    In Runcorn there are two nearby pubs: the Mayhew where friends Janet, Donna, & Louise drink; and the Archer, where friends Jonny & Gaz drink. When Donna mentions to Janet that she's looking for a boyfriend, Janet gets her boyfriend Jonny to persuade Gaz to go on a blind date. Despite the misgivings of Donna and her mother Flo, the date in the Mayhew goes well, even after the attentions of Louise who has got a job there as a barmaid, and Jonny, who tries to put a spoke in the wheel of what he sees as a future of joint couple dates. Donna accompanies Gaz back to his bedsit, but her passion is cooled on discovering what he has stacked in his cupboard.

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  23. Background image for Beastiality
    7.2/10(42 votes)

    #22 - Beastiality

    S3:E4

    Louise is furious when she finds out that Donna once slept with David, but Donna's still the one who does the fighting! Janet decides that she and Jonny will have to get married without her parents permission, and Gaz has had enough of Munch!

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  24. Background image for Cauliflower
    7.2/10(27 votes)

    #23 - Cauliflower

    S6:E4

    Louise finally meets her real dad, but he seemed far more interested in Jonny.

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    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown
  25. Background image for Croppity Crop
    7.2/10(27 votes)

    #24 - Croppity Crop

    S6:E6

    Jonny starts a farm and tries to grow his own crops to be self sufficient.

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    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown
  26. Background image for Spunk
    7.1/10(62 votes)

    #25 - Spunk

    S1:E2

    Gaz hasn't called Donna in the week since their date, to soften her up for an undemanding relationship. The girls are weighing themselves, and Louise finds she weighs more than she did at 14 for the first time since then, and goes on a diet and exercise regime. Donna gives up waiting for Gaz, and goes round to his pad, where her mother phones to invite him round for a meal and to meet the family, including Donna's very forward sister Katie. On Gaz's advice, Jonny is trying to treat Janet mean, to keep her keen, but then goes missing, so everyone has to drop what they're doing and go searching for him.

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    Director:Unknown

Best Episodes Summary

"Filthy Brunching" is the best rated episode of "Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps". It scored 7.9/10 based on 38 votes. Directed by Unknown and written by Susan Nickson, it aired on 4/4/2004. This episode scored 0.3 points higher than the second highest rated, "Fish".