Every season of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps ever, ranked from best to worst by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The best seasons of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps!

In Runcorn there are two nearby pubs: the Mayhew where friends Janet, Donna, & Louise drink; and the Archer, where friends Jonny & Gaz drink. When Donna mentions to  Janet that she's looking for a boyfriend, Janet gets her boyfriend Jonny to persuade Gaz to go on a blind date. Despite the misgivings of Donna and her mother Flo, the date in the Mayhew goes well, even after the attentions of Louise who has got a job there as a barmaid, and Jonny, who tries to put a spoke in the wheel of what he sees as a future of joint couple dates. Donna accompanies Gaz back to his bedsit, but her passion is cooled on discovering what he has stacked in his cupboard.

Fags, Shags and Kebabs

Gaz hasn't called Donna in the week since their date, to soften her up for an undemanding relationship. The girls are weighing themselves, and Louise finds she weighs more than she did at 14 for the first time since then, and goes on a diet and exercise regime. Donna gives up waiting for Gaz, and goes round to his pad, where her mother phones to invite him round for a meal and to meet the family, including Donna's very forward sister Katie. On Gaz's advice, Jonny is trying to treat Janet mean, to keep her keen, but then goes missing, so everyone has to drop what they're doing and go searching for him.

Spunk

Donna moves her toothbrush into Gaz's flat, and he reacts badly, thinking it's the first step to moving in completely. Meanwhile, Flo is encouraging Donna to move out of the family home. Louise is getting chatted up by Kev, who, from her description, the other two are convinced is gay - it turns out they are right, and Louise decides to make the best of things by becoming a â€˜fag hag'. Janet tries various ways to improve her love life with Jonny, but just makes him suspicious, he thinks that she's been sleeping with a bloke named Pedro, who Gaz made up because he was too drunk to think straight.

Bone with the Wind

Gaz wants to feel more attractive to women, and hones his chat-up techniques, only to be discovered by Donna at a club. Janet accepts an invitation from arty fellow-student Cameron, who doesn't fart, to perform at a student poetry evening, and has to be rescued from her embarrassment by Jonny.

Angry Wangry

The lads are winding Janet up with the old one about it being impossible for girls to be as funny as boys. Not one to resist a challenge, Janet trawls through her â€˜crack-a-joke' books looking for that killer one-liner Jonny, however doesn't find the fact that he has been fantasizing about Louise quite so funny of course, Gas's advice is to say nothing. Janet is driving everyone mad with her stupid jokes and in a bid to shut her up Gas tells her that Jonny loves Louise. A heartbroken Janet summons a meeting with her friends and lets rip with a torrent of abuse. Unoffended but rather amused by this, the group begin to giggle. Janet is so chuffed at being able to make her friends laugh she forgives them all. Walking home Jonny feebly excuses himself from his Louise fixation by telling Janet that it got her over her joke obsession. Janet gets her revenge by admitting she too has kissed Louise but Jonny takes things that one step too far boasting that he touched Louise's boobs too.

Lard

The pitter patter of tiny feet may be just around the corner for Janet and Jonny. Janet turns to Donna and Louise for advice. Louise is her usual tactless self in her reaction, â€˜Excellent, I have a single mum friend to show off to my friends at University' while Donna heads to the chemist to buy Janet a pregnancy test. But Janet can't muster up a sample so Donna turns to Flo for hints on possible pregnancy symptoms which, according to Flo, include hot flushes and a passion for Guinness. Jonny has not taken the news about possible fatherhood too well, but several beers down the pub and a talking-to from Louise later he decides that parenthood is perfect for him. When Janet finally has the results from her pregnancy testâ€”Is she or isn't she? And just why is Donna taking such an interest in the whole matterâ€”is there something she needs to tell Gaz?

Ugly Babies

Donna thinks she's pregnant and Gaz is scared out his wits at the prospect of becoming a father. Meanwhile, Louise is exercising her psychic powers and, following the spirits' career advice, Jonny undertakes a new career involving a black leotardâ€¦

On the Blob

Jonny wins one thousand pounds on a scratch card and Janet thinks he's gonna buy an engagement ring, but Jonny has other ideas! Gaz & Donna decide to take their relationship a step further by having a conversation, and Louise meets a new boyfriend who is desperate to have sex with her!

Bungle

Janet re-discovers a love letter from her gorgeous ex and resorts to deception to prevent Jonny becoming jealous. Flo asks Donna to move out so she can set up a massage parlour in her old room. And, unable to decide how to handle her boyfriend, Louise experiments with gay sex.

Dirty Girls

Jonny isn't feeling very well so it's up to Gaz to look after him as Janet has better things to do! Gaz goes to look for Janet and catches her snogging her ex boyfriend! Louise was there, and she saw it all, and, unfortunately for Janet, you can't trust Louise with your secrets!

Vomit

Donna has moved in with Gaz, but it doesn't take long for Donna to walk out on him! Jonny has found out about Janet snogging Andy and he is furious with her. Gaz suggests he should use this situation for his own benefit, so the worse he makes Janet feel, the more she'll do for him, but Jonny's attitude upsets Janet and she walks out, leaving Jonny very hungry!

Crusty Curtains

After all the arguments, Donna is living with Jonny, while Janet is living with Gaz, but nobody really knows where anybody is! Donna suggests that Jonny should go to Andy's to ask where Janet is, but as much as he tries to hide it, it's clear he is too scared, but not scared enough to steal an engagement ring off him and offer it to Janet!

Mo Mo and Pigsy

Janet says she won't marry Jonny until he's got a job, so he's goes looking, but nobody will have him! Gaz finds out he has a brother and Louise has lunch with Janet's ex boyfriend Andy, but doesn't realise she will have to pay for it!

Munch

Gaz and Donna haven't had sex for a few days, and Donna gets a nasty shock when she comes home and see's what Gaz has done to himself! Jonny wants Janet to quit smoking to save a bit of money for their wedding, but Janet finds it hard. Louise finds she has a secret admirer.

Fish

After a bit of thought and advice from her mum, and Janet, Donna decides that she should try something new with Gaz, but she doesn't realise he's gonna bring Munch home with him! Jonny realises he'll have to ask Janet's dad's permission to marry Janet, and David and Louise don't get off to a very good start in their relationship.

Kangaroo

Louise is furious when she finds out that Donna once slept with David, but Donna's still the one who does the fighting! Janet decides that she and Jonny will have to get married without her parents permission, and Gaz has had enough of Munch!

Beastiality

Jonny goes to see Janet's dad to beg for his permission for their wedding, and discovers he has a secret, but its a bit of a different secret to the one he tells Janet! Munch finds Gaz unconscious in the garage, so he calls an ambulance, only to find out that he'd only got drunk, so there's definetly nothing wrong with him! Donna tricks Louise into forgiving her.

Hospikal

The girls go shopping for Janet's wedding dress, and Louise and Donna cause a bit of trouble, especially for Janet! Gaz and Jonny discover a new kind of beer with a bit of a difference!

Dresses, Dresses, Dresses

Jonny gets a job and an offer he can't refuse, Gaz and Donna are kept up all night, and David has tips for Louise on how to cope with growing up.

Fockin' Mokky Bokka

Janet tries to get passionate with Jonny, while Gaz wants Donna to go out so he can get passionate with himself.

Jammy Dodgers

Gaz gives Munch lessons in handling women, Jonny shows Donna how to get what she wants for freem while Louise gets an annoying social conscience.

Dump

Gaz's backside is a cause for concern, while Janet has second thoughts about Jonny.

Schluballybub

Gaz is furious with Donna after he suspects her of cheating on him with David, and even though he forgives her, it makes him none the more happier to discover she wants to go to University with him! Louise tricks David into getting back with her, and then dumps him!! And Jonny finally comes to terms with Janet leaving him!

Corinthian Dies

Janet tells Jonny he has to move out of the house, he now has nowhere to go! Until he meets Kate, the barmaid in the pub, and they get very close! Gaz is still not happy with Donna's plans to become a student, so he challenges David to a drinking contest! But Donna is more interested in Louise's book, which brings the girls to tears! So much so, Janet realises she made a big mistake dumping Jonny, and goes to get him back, only to find him and Kate sharing a kiss!

Piggy Goes Oink

Janet is still getting over losing Jonny, and Louise wants to move in with her, but a nasty spider gets in the way! Jonny tries to be manly to impress Kate on their first date, but ends up falling off a wall and breaking his foot! Its Gaz's big night, and all his friends have deserted him! Even Donna, who would rather go and watch a play than see him sing! But he has a wild night in The Archer performing Tom Jones songs, but to a very small crowd!

My Delicious Guava

Jonny and Kate can't get any privacy to have sex, so Gaz lets them use the flat, which is all very well, until Donna gets home! Louise decides she needs to get a job after she graduates, but unfortunately discovers a sociology degree won't get her a much better job than working in Pizza Hut! Gaz is upset that Donna has been neglecting him, but Janet is around to comfort him, but unfortunately things get a little bit out of control...

Cuggles

Gaz is feeling guilty about sleeping with Janet, but manages to keep it from Donna and doesn't tell her, although Janet, in a moment of guilt herself, can't help blurting it out to her! The two girls forgive each other, although Donna doesn't quite know the whole story! Louise is graduating so Kate suggests they should have a party at Janet's house, but as Jonny pops round earlier to drop something off, Jonny and Janet realise they still miss each other, and they end up kissing...

Purgatory

Janet has a new boss at the bakery, that turns out to be Louise! But she has a rather different way of doing things! Donna wants Gaz to split Jonny and Kate up, but tells him not to sleep with her, but he ignores this, takes her out on a date, but Donna finds out and stops him from sleeping with her! Kate, however, is furious that Gaz tried to come on to her, and tells Jonny to choose between her or his friends, but its an easy choice for Jonny, and he dumps her!

Mate Date

Gaz has a problem, his penis, or ""Mr Nudge"" as he calls it, isn't working properly, he's tried everything, from fantasies about Fern Britton to wearing a cock ring! Jonny is struggling with single life, he's got no money to buy a pint! Janet wants him to come home, but he can't, he has his pride! Louise gets carried away in her job at the bakery and sacks everyone, but then finds she's been sacked herself! Jonny is still resisting Janet's pleas to make him come home, until he see's what she's wearing...

Homeless and Horny

Janet wants to introduce something a bit more adventurous in to her sex life with Jonny, but Jonny isn't playing along! Gaz is worried what Donna may be getting up too with her tutor, so he storms round to the cafe they're in, and threatens him! He thinks there's a gun in his pocket, turns out, his penis problem has been solved! Louise gets a new job, which puts her in control of Jonny's criminal record, a few alterations are made and the police are after him! They shoot him! Will he live or die? Find out next series!

Filthy Brunching

It's the day of the funeral - and our Jonny is there in the wheelchair. He may have survived, but that meant the loss of another character - Donna's mother Flo. Jonny is famous after his shooting, and is determined to milk it for all he can. Meanwhile, Gaz's ""impotence"" problem has returned, if only he could get rid of it the way he did before. Louise spends the night in a cell for messing with Jonny's records.

Dead

Donna has recieved some exciting news, her Mother left her house in her will. But Gaz isn't best pleased, as he believes Flo still haunts the cupboard under the stairs. Louise goes to see a psychaitrist for messing with Jonny's record, turns out she was trying to save him from finding out Gaz and Janet had slept with each other. But will she tell Jonny? Speaking of which, Jonny has a very important question for Janet...

Nobbly Bobbly

Louise is threatening to tell Donna and Jonny about when Janet and Gaz...y'know, did it. This come at the worst possible time for Janet as Jonny has just proposed to her again, but nobody bothers to take an interest. Donna's had her Mum's house valued at £99,000 and plans a hiking trip to Ecuador, Wales with Gaz. Janet has news of her own, she's pregnant. Jonny is delighted, but Gaz has just accidentally revealed his secret to Donna...

Shrink

Furious with Gaz for sleeping with Janet, Donna walks out, she can't bring herself to forgive either of them. Jonny has a present from Gaz, a £100 car, that he names Herbie. Louise has to get Jonny to forgive her for getting him shot to her solicitor, so black mails him, he doesn't go with it so she puts poor Herbie under the crusher! Donna is on her way to Ecuador without Gaz, can Janet stop her?

Ecuador

Jonny and Louise get into trouble with some rampaging kids. Donna and Kelly team up to give Gaz a sexual surprise. Janet tries to get Donna to forgive her for sleeping with Gaz.

Potato People

It's Jonny's Stag Night and Gaz's plans for the Night don't quite go to plan. Meanwhile, Louise tryies to make Janet's Hen Party one of the Wildest ever.

Antlers

It's the day of Jonny's and Janet wedding, and they're nowhere to be found! Gaz and Donna rush off looking for them. Gaz thinks he left Jonny tied to a lamppost, but the barmaid took him down. Jonny and Janet are stuck in a Tesco's van. They wake up in their wedding outfits, and have no idea why they're there. Meanwhile Gaz and Donna pretend to be Jonny and Janet, so they still can get married.  Luckily, the Tesco van ends up at their wedding, and Janet and Jonny finally get married.

Crab

Five months after Jonny and Janet got married, Donna and Gaz are still not talking. Donna has moved up in the bucket world, and is on a mission to sell 4,000 buckets in 5 days. While out, she finds out Gaz, who she has not seen for 5 months, has gained weight since they last saw each other. In attempts to get Donna back, Gaz finds an interesting way to loose weight. Meanwhile, Janet fears that her nesting instinct will never kick in, however Louise and a group of ""chavettes"" help her come to her senses...

Janet shows off at the pub quiz. Gaz spanks his monkey. And Donna tries to impress Gaz with a facelift.

Stot or Pronk

In the last episode Gaz just got ran over by the ambulance which was going to Janets house. While Janet is in labour, she can't find Jonny! Jonny then sees Gaz being put in the ambulance, and when Jonny sees Gaz, Gaz tells him to look after the baby as if it was his! Jonny is stunned to find out that Gaz is the father. Meanwhile Louise has to bring Janet to the hospital and Jonny meets Janet there. First he hated the baby and Janet, but after spending some time with them he changes his mind. And at the end Gaz and Donna finally got back together.

Who's the Daddy?

When Janet becomes a baby bore Jonny takes drastic action to get her attention. Louise tries to bag herself one of Kelly's fellas. Donna and Gaz try their hand at babysitting.

BaBaBaBaBa

Due to a rainstorm stopping, Louise begins to think she is God. Meanwhile, Johnny tries to teach Corinthian about biscuits and how to be a man, and Janet thinks about a Christening.

Jonny bids for a chance at his dream job. Gaz and Donna find their dream house. Louise dates her mobile phone and finally gets herself an amazing boyfriend

Love 83199

In the last episode, Jonny was hoping to get the job at the biscuit factory and Gaz and Donna were hoping to get a house in the country side. Meanwhile Janet got offered a job on a cruise ship singing. There are high sprits going on in group as their all starting new lives. Unfortunately Jonny didn't get the job, there were sheep everywhere around Gaz and Donna's new house. And also Janet didn't know wether to take the job or not because she would have to leave the next day.

Near, Far

Gaz's father closes down the garage leaving Gaz unemployed.

Speedycruise!

Janet gets a job, making elves, to earning herself some money.

Goblins

Janet starts a sex chat line to earn more money.

Mummy Cupboard

Louise finally meets her real dad, but he seemed far more interested in Jonny.

Cauliflower

Jonny raises his fist to Janet when she provokes him.

Drunk

Jonny starts a farm and tries to grow his own crops to be self sufficient.

Croppity Crop

Things get personal between Janet and Donna when they both apply for the managers job at the archers.Jonny gives Gaz Corinthian after coming to the conclusion that the baby is his.

Finger Sniffing

Janet starts her new job at the Archers and soon thinks of a way to entice more elderly customers into the archers meanwhile Jonny tries to help Gaz become a Dad.

War, Hurrgh!

Janet is on the point of losing her job as bar manager of the Archer and Jonny is accused of having homosexual-tendencies. Donna's dad is on the phone and Gaz invites Donna's 16 year old brother over to stay (not a good idea).

Closing Time

With the Archer now closed, the gang head off down to break into the now dilapidated pub to see what beer is left over, undeterred by the headlines of 'The Curse of the Archer'. This spoof horror episode sees all kinds of gory goings-on as the gang are trapped in the Archer, unable to escape until sunrise.

When Janet Killed Jonny

After the Archer reopens following a refurbishment, all the girls decide to apply for the new barmaid's job.

Jonny leaves for Hawaii to go shark-jumping, after winning a competition, leaving Gaz to try and find something more exciting to do.

When Jonny Met Sharky

Janet tries to find a quick way to recover from her grief, following the death of her husband Jonny, so Gaz offers his help.

Dabdaa!

Louise wants to move in with Janet, who isn't too keen on the idea, so Louise decides to try and convince her by holding a seance to contact Jonny's spirit.

Homophobia Is Gay

Gaz tries to change the born-again Christian Munch, back to his old self, by tempting him with alcohol. Meanwhile, Louise is disappointed to learn she's having a girl while Janet picks 'dead Jonny' as a theme for Donna and Gaz's wedding.

Dead Jonny Walking

Gaz and Donna finally tie the knot, but a shocking discovery by Louise could cause their new marriage to end prematurely.

Here Bums the Bride

Janet's inability to keep up the mortgage payments result in her house being repossessed, so Gaz comes up with a plan which could suit everyone.

Six Months Later

Louise tries to arrange for Donna to be her birthing partner.

Gaz and Janet's increasing attraction is disturbed by a sudden announcement from Donna.

African Death Face

Gaz is not keen on moving south with Donna, and has fallen in love with Janet; Donna has met a new man called Wesley in London and wants to move on from Gaz. However, Gaz lets slip that he and Janet are in love, and Donna throws beer over them but eventually realises that Janet and Gaz belong together, because they are "scum"- but in a nice way.

Meanwhile Louise is about to give birth, aided only by Munch, and produces (in The Archer) a beautiful girl whom she names "Louise Louise Brooks", although she tells Munch the name is "Louise Munch Brooks". Gaz and Donna part on ostensibly good terms, and the episode closes with flashbacks of moments throughout the series, to the background of Avril Lavigne's "When You’re Gone".

Borry

Donna returns to Runcorn to visit everyone as she has been missing them. Janet thinks that Donna might be lying about her wonderful new boyfriend called Wesley in London. Louise finds life as a mother tough. Donna asks her boyfriend to come to Runcorn to meet everyone.

Candle

After Janet is mugged she decides to try and become a Police Community Support Officer. Wesley seeks Gaz's help in winning Donna back after he shows up in Runcorn.

Gazman

After becoming a PCSO Janet makes her first arrest. Wesley attempts to fit in with the Runcorn way of life.

Flan Van

Donna and Gaz remember the past that they have shared after agreeing to get a divorce. At the end of the day they wonder if the have made the right decision.

Ello Ello

Gaz decides to ask Janet to become his wife following his divorce. Donna decides to help him. After Janet collapses she is taken to the hospital but nobody can hold of Gaz.

D.I.V.O.R.C.E.

Gaz is torn between the two girls and although he decides to stay with Janet for the sake of Corinthian, when he goes to tell Donna he realises he loves her, too, and can't be without her.

Val Doonican

Donna and Janet try to get Gaz to make a decision about who he wants to be with and he ends up deciding to audition both of them. When Gaz finally decides who he wants he heads off to get his girl.

You Decide

Janet is waiting in the pub for Gaz unaware that he has decided to choose Donna and that he has been involved in an accident. Janet is heartbroken after her dreams are crushed. Wesley and Janet both look to the future on their own.

Keep on Running

After telling Donna that it is her that he wants to be with, Gaz has sliped into a coma. After praying to God, begging him to let Gaz recover, Donna imagines two parallel lives with Gaz, one where he makes a full recovery and another where he is paralyzed.

The Aftermath - Part One: Waiting For Gaz

Gaz has fallen into a coma, shortly after telling Donna he wanted to be with her. As she sits by his bedside, she begs God to give him back, saying that she is prepared to take 'whatever the consequences'. She imagines two separate realities, one where Gaz is back to full health and one where he is paralysed. Both possibilities are followed in parallel, which take very differing paths. How will fully-fit Gaz respond to the news that Donna may not want children in the future? Or that he may not have any friends? How will paralysed Gaz cope with being in a wheelchair, with the prospect that he may never walk again? How does this reflect on their relationship and can Donna really take either of these consequences?

The Aftermath - Part Two: Sliding Gaz

Gaz struggles to adjust to being in a wheelchair after returning home, and is confused by the behaviour of aspiring footballer Billy, who helped to care for him in hospital. Meanwhile, Tim's life is thrown into turmoil when his younger sister Cassie turns up on his doorstep.

Nil By Muff

Billy's metrosexual behaviour continues to baffle Gaz, who finally cracks and throws him out. Donna faces up to the responsibility of being a breadwinner and visits the job centre, but seeing her old school rival leaves her feeling inadequate. Meanwhile, Tim tries to give Cassie a makeover.

Cheese Toastie

Following the fire, Donna and Gaz find themselves being forced to move into Janet's old place. Donna ends up embracing the fact that she is now possession-free while Gaz plans a big night out. Billy makes plans to make sure that his football career gets off the ground. After he ends up going out with Gaz though things go wrong. Cassie attempts to blackmail Tim into getting her a motorbike

Trial Schmile

Donna is looking forward beginning to her new job. Gaz jazzes up his wheelchair and decides that he wants to take part in the Paralympics. Tim begins to wonder what direction his life is going in following his big revelation. Gaz is able to get Billy to ask Cassie out on a date.

The Gaz-Bot

Billy thinks that his sex life with Cassie is affecting his football skills and he attempts to cool things with her. Cassie is determined not to loose him though. Gaz is determined to walk again and gets Donna, Billy and Tim to help get him up and out of his wheelchair.

Shagger

Gaz celebrates his 30th birthday but his festive mood is short-lived when he reflects on his life and feels melancholy about what little he has to show. Donna ends up facing a crisis of her own after she pays a visit to the doctor's and is left shocked by the news she is given. Tim is surprised when Leonard asks him out on a date.

This is Your Life

Sitcom about the lives and loves of five twenty-somethings in Runcorn.

The Best Seasons of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps

The Best Seasons of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps

Season 4

Season 3

Season 6

Season 1

Season 9

Season 7

Season 2

Season 5

Season 8