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The Worst Episodes of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps

Every episode of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps ranked from worst to best. Explore the Worst Episodes of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps!

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Sitcom about the lives and loves of five twenty-somethings in Runcorn.

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  1. #1 Worst Episode
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    Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Season 1 Episode 1 - Fags, Shags and Kebabs
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #1 - Fags, Shags and Kebabs

    S1:E1

    In Runcorn there are two nearby pubs: the Mayhew where friends Janet, Donna, & Louise drink; and the Archer, where friends Jonny & Gaz drink. When Donna mentions to Janet that she's looking for a boyfriend, Janet gets her boyfriend Jonny to persuade Gaz to go on a blind date. Despite the misgivings of Donna and her mother Flo, the date in the Mayhew goes well, even after the attentions of Louise who has got a job there as a barmaid, and Jonny, who tries to put a spoke in the wheel of what he sees as a future of joint couple dates. Donna accompanies Gaz back to his bedsit, but her passion is cooled on discovering what he has stacked in his cupboard.

    Director:Gareth Carrivick
    Writer:Susan Nickson

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  2. Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Season 1 Episode 2 - Spunk
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #2 - Spunk

    S1:E2

    Gaz hasn't called Donna in the week since their date, to soften her up for an undemanding relationship. The girls are weighing themselves, and Louise finds she weighs more than she did at 14 for the first time since then, and goes on a diet and exercise regime. Donna gives up waiting for Gaz, and goes round to his pad, where her mother phones to invite him round for a meal and to meet the family, including Donna's very forward sister Katie. On Gaz's advice, Jonny is trying to treat Janet mean, to keep her keen, but then goes missing, so everyone has to drop what they're doing and go searching for him.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Susan Nickson

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  3. Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Season 1 Episode 3 - Bone with the Wind
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #3 - Bone with the Wind

    S1:E3

    Donna moves her toothbrush into Gaz's flat, and he reacts badly, thinking it's the first step to moving in completely. Meanwhile, Flo is encouraging Donna to move out of the family home. Louise is getting chatted up by Kev, who, from her description, the other two are convinced is gay - it turns out they are right, and Louise decides to make the best of things by becoming a ‘fag hag'. Janet tries various ways to improve her love life with Jonny, but just makes him suspicious, he thinks that she's been sleeping with a bloke named Pedro, who Gaz made up because he was too drunk to think straight.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Susan Nickson

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  4. Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Season 1 Episode 4 - Angry Wangry
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #4 - Angry Wangry

    S1:E4

    Gaz wants to feel more attractive to women, and hones his chat-up techniques, only to be discovered by Donna at a club. Janet accepts an invitation from arty fellow-student Cameron, who doesn't fart, to perform at a student poetry evening, and has to be rescued from her embarrassment by Jonny.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Susan Nickson

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  5. Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Season 1 Episode 5 - Lard
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #5 - Lard

    S1:E5

    The lads are winding Janet up with the old one about it being impossible for girls to be as funny as boys. Not one to resist a challenge, Janet trawls through her ‘crack-a-joke' books looking for that killer one-liner Jonny, however doesn't find the fact that he has been fantasizing about Louise quite so funny of course, Gas's advice is to say nothing. Janet is driving everyone mad with her stupid jokes and in a bid to shut her up Gas tells her that Jonny loves Louise. A heartbroken Janet summons a meeting with her friends and lets rip with a torrent of abuse. Unoffended but rather amused by this, the group begin to giggle. Janet is so chuffed at being able to make her friends laugh she forgives them all. Walking home Jonny feebly excuses himself from his Louise fixation by telling Janet that it got her over her joke obsession. Janet gets her revenge by admitting she too has kissed Louise but Jonny takes things that one step too far boasting that he touched Louise's boobs too.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Susan Nickson

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  6. Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Season 1 Episode 6 - Ugly Babies
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #6 - Ugly Babies

    S1:E6

    The pitter patter of tiny feet may be just around the corner for Janet and Jonny. Janet turns to Donna and Louise for advice. Louise is her usual tactless self in her reaction, ‘Excellent, I have a single mum friend to show off to my friends at University' while Donna heads to the chemist to buy Janet a pregnancy test. But Janet can't muster up a sample so Donna turns to Flo for hints on possible pregnancy symptoms which, according to Flo, include hot flushes and a passion for Guinness. Jonny has not taken the news about possible fatherhood too well, but several beers down the pub and a talking-to from Louise later he decides that parenthood is perfect for him. When Janet finally has the results from her pregnancy test—Is she or isn't she? And just why is Donna taking such an interest in the whole matter—is there something she needs to tell Gaz?

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Susan Nickson

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  7. Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Season 2 Episode 1 - On the Blob
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #7 - On the Blob

    S2:E1

    Donna thinks she's pregnant and Gaz is scared out his wits at the prospect of becoming a father. Meanwhile, Louise is exercising her psychic powers and, following the spirits' career advice, Jonny undertakes a new career involving a black leotard…

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Susan Nickson

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  8. Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Season 2 Episode 2 - Bungle
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #8 - Bungle

    S2:E2

    Jonny wins one thousand pounds on a scratch card and Janet thinks he's gonna buy an engagement ring, but Jonny has other ideas! Gaz & Donna decide to take their relationship a step further by having a conversation, and Louise meets a new boyfriend who is desperate to have sex with her!

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Susan Nickson

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  9. Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Season 2 Episode 3 - Dirty Girls
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #9 - Dirty Girls

    S2:E3

    Janet re-discovers a love letter from her gorgeous ex and resorts to deception to prevent Jonny becoming jealous. Flo asks Donna to move out so she can set up a massage parlour in her old room. And, unable to decide how to handle her boyfriend, Louise experiments with gay sex.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Susan Nickson

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  10. Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Season 2 Episode 4 - Vomit
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #10 - Vomit

    S2:E4

    Jonny isn't feeling very well so it's up to Gaz to look after him as Janet has better things to do! Gaz goes to look for Janet and catches her snogging her ex boyfriend! Louise was there, and she saw it all, and, unfortunately for Janet, you can't trust Louise with your secrets!

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Susan Nickson

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  11. Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Season 2 Episode 5 - Crusty Curtains
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #11 - Crusty Curtains

    S2:E5

    Donna has moved in with Gaz, but it doesn't take long for Donna to walk out on him! Jonny has found out about Janet snogging Andy and he is furious with her. Gaz suggests he should use this situation for his own benefit, so the worse he makes Janet feel, the more she'll do for him, but Jonny's attitude upsets Janet and she walks out, leaving Jonny very hungry!

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Susan Nickson

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  12. Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Season 2 Episode 6 - Mo Mo and Pigsy
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #12 - Mo Mo and Pigsy

    S2:E6

    After all the arguments, Donna is living with Jonny, while Janet is living with Gaz, but nobody really knows where anybody is! Donna suggests that Jonny should go to Andy's to ask where Janet is, but as much as he tries to hide it, it's clear he is too scared, but not scared enough to steal an engagement ring off him and offer it to Janet!

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Susan Nickson

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  13. Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Season 3 Episode 1 - Munch
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #13 - Munch

    S3:E1

    Janet says she won't marry Jonny until he's got a job, so he's goes looking, but nobody will have him! Gaz finds out he has a brother and Louise has lunch with Janet's ex boyfriend Andy, but doesn't realise she will have to pay for it!

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Susan Nickson

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  14. Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Season 3 Episode 2 - Fish
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #14 - Fish

    S3:E2

    Gaz and Donna haven't had sex for a few days, and Donna gets a nasty shock when she comes home and see's what Gaz has done to himself! Jonny wants Janet to quit smoking to save a bit of money for their wedding, but Janet finds it hard. Louise finds she has a secret admirer.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Susan Nickson

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  15. Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Season 3 Episode 3 - Kangaroo
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #15 - Kangaroo

    S3:E3

    After a bit of thought and advice from her mum, and Janet, Donna decides that she should try something new with Gaz, but she doesn't realise he's gonna bring Munch home with him! Jonny realises he'll have to ask Janet's dad's permission to marry Janet, and David and Louise don't get off to a very good start in their relationship.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Susan Nickson

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  16. Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Season 3 Episode 7 - Fockin' Mokky Bokka
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #16 - Fockin' Mokky Bokka

    S3:E7

    Jonny gets a job and an offer he can't refuse, Gaz and Donna are kept up all night, and David has tips for Louise on how to cope with growing up.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Susan Nickson

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  17. Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Season 3 Episode 8 - Jammy Dodgers
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #17 - Jammy Dodgers

    S3:E8

    Janet tries to get passionate with Jonny, while Gaz wants Donna to go out so he can get passionate with himself.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Susan Nickson

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  18. Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Season 3 Episode 9 - Dump
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #18 - Dump

    S3:E9

    Gaz gives Munch lessons in handling women, Jonny shows Donna how to get what she wants for freem while Louise gets an annoying social conscience.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Susan Nickson

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  19. Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Season 3 Episode 10 - Schluballybub
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #19 - Schluballybub

    S3:E10

    Gaz's backside is a cause for concern, while Janet has second thoughts about Jonny.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Susan Nickson

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  20. Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Season 4 Episode 1 - Corinthian Dies
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #20 - Corinthian Dies

    S4:E1

    Gaz is furious with Donna after he suspects her of cheating on him with David, and even though he forgives her, it makes him none the more happier to discover she wants to go to University with him! Louise tricks David into getting back with her, and then dumps him!! And Jonny finally comes to terms with Janet leaving him!

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Susan Nickson

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  21. Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Season 4 Episode 2 - Piggy Goes Oink
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #21 - Piggy Goes Oink

    S4:E2

    Janet tells Jonny he has to move out of the house, he now has nowhere to go! Until he meets Kate, the barmaid in the pub, and they get very close! Gaz is still not happy with Donna's plans to become a student, so he challenges David to a drinking contest! But Donna is more interested in Louise's book, which brings the girls to tears! So much so, Janet realises she made a big mistake dumping Jonny, and goes to get him back, only to find him and Kate sharing a kiss!

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Susan Nickson

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  22. Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Season 4 Episode 3 - My Delicious Guava
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #22 - My Delicious Guava

    S4:E3

    Janet is still getting over losing Jonny, and Louise wants to move in with her, but a nasty spider gets in the way! Jonny tries to be manly to impress Kate on their first date, but ends up falling off a wall and breaking his foot! Its Gaz's big night, and all his friends have deserted him! Even Donna, who would rather go and watch a play than see him sing! But he has a wild night in The Archer performing Tom Jones songs, but to a very small crowd!

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  23. Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Season 4 Episode 4 - Cuggles
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #23 - Cuggles

    S4:E4

    Jonny and Kate can't get any privacy to have sex, so Gaz lets them use the flat, which is all very well, until Donna gets home! Louise decides she needs to get a job after she graduates, but unfortunately discovers a sociology degree won't get her a much better job than working in Pizza Hut! Gaz is upset that Donna has been neglecting him, but Janet is around to comfort him, but unfortunately things get a little bit out of control...

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Susan Nickson

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  24. Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Season 4 Episode 5 - Purgatory
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #24 - Purgatory

    S4:E5

    Gaz is feeling guilty about sleeping with Janet, but manages to keep it from Donna and doesn't tell her, although Janet, in a moment of guilt herself, can't help blurting it out to her! The two girls forgive each other, although Donna doesn't quite know the whole story! Louise is graduating so Kate suggests they should have a party at Janet's house, but as Jonny pops round earlier to drop something off, Jonny and Janet realise they still miss each other, and they end up kissing...

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Susan Nickson

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  25. Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Season 4 Episode 6 - Mate Date
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #25 - Mate Date

    S4:E6

    Janet has a new boss at the bakery, that turns out to be Louise! But she has a rather different way of doing things! Donna wants Gaz to split Jonny and Kate up, but tells him not to sleep with her, but he ignores this, takes her out on a date, but Donna finds out and stops him from sleeping with her! Kate, however, is furious that Gaz tried to come on to her, and tells Jonny to choose between her or his friends, but its an easy choice for Jonny, and he dumps her!

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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Worst Episodes Summary

"Fags, Shags and Kebabs" is the worst rated episode of "Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps". It scored /10 based on 0 votes. Directed by Gareth Carrivick and written by Susan Nickson, it aired on 2/26/2001. This episode scored 0.0 points lower than the second lowest rated, "Spunk".