Now retired and living in asylums, Weasel and I.R. recall the days when they were young.

I Am My Lifetime

Charlie Adler

Candi Milo

Dee Bradley Baker

Michael Dorn

David Feiss

Richard Pursel

Chris Reccardi

Bill Reed

Free Inside!

Cow and Chicken Reclining

Mom and Dad decide to let Cow have a pet. She choose an anaconda, after it eats Chicken, and she hears his voice from inside the snake, and assumes the snake can sound just like Chicken. Cow names the anaconda, Fluffy, and Fluffy soon grows attached to Chicken, as its full-coarse dinner.

Fluffy the Anaconda

Chicken, Flem, and Earl play a game of kickball. Cow's udders kick the ball into the bushes, where Chicken, Flem and Earl discover a laughing puddle. After Flem and Chicken run back out, they forget the ball, and go back to discover that Earl is in the puddle. Chicken sends Flem after him, and he is stuck too. Chicken then gets Mom and Dad, who jump into the puddle, and Chicken drops Cow in there to save everyone. Chicken is then the only one left, until he discovers the puddle is a doorway to Boneless Chicken's nightclub.

The Laughing Puddle

I.R. finds an abandoned baby and adopts him as his son.

I.R. Mommy

The Red Guy is now Captain Butz Pirate, and wants to give Cow and Chicken pirate lessons. He takes them aboard his pirate ship in the middle of the duck pond, and teaches them how to say ""argh"", carve peglegs, hold worms for ransom, and sink Flem and Earl's boat. But after that incident, Cow, Chicken, and their flag/man Jolly Roger declare mutiny.

Pirate Lessons

The Red Guy hosts a new late night talk show called ""Dead Ghost, Coast to Coast"", and reminds the viewers that tonight's Halloween. Chicken calls in, and is instructed to dress as a human being. So, Cow and Chicken go trick or treating as Mom and Dad, only to find that the neighbors assume that a grown man and woman are trick or treating. With that, Super Cow and Chicken teach The Red Guy a lesson.

Halloween with Dead Ghost, Coast to Coast

Weasel and I.R. create their forms of life.

I Am Deity

Cow's tongue rips out of her mouth and runs away. He then causes havock all over town, by hi-jacking someone of their motor-scooter, rolling around in someone's gravy, and licking the candy store dry. Soon, Tongue finds himself on the lam, and runs back to Cow. Everything is back to normal, until Chicken's wattle decides to run away to.

Tongue Sandwich

Chicken is tired of always having to do chores, so he chews Mom and Dad out, and runs away to be a bachelor with Cousin Boneless Chicken. One at Boneless's Chicken attracts the attention on Boneless's blind-date, Linda. Linda falls head over heals for Chicken, which makes Boneless disgusted.

Dream Date Chicken

Weasel must relocate the people who suffer from the cronic crybaby syndrome, not knowing that they are the main source of water on the planet.

I Am Crybaby

Cow, Chicken, Flem, and Earl try out for the school's sumo wrestling team. For being big and fat, Cow is the new team member. Soon, everyone fears her, and she feels degected, but it benefits Chicken, because now no one will beat him up.

Sumo Cow

Cow and Chicken's class go on a field trip to the Cometorium, where Chicken is bored stiff. After getting hit by one of Dad's golf balls (he was golfing right next door), Chicken hangs it in front of the telescope; soon, the whole town is in panic of the arrival of ""Dad's Ball Comet"".

Comet!

I.R. hurts himself while walking up to Weasel's house! Weasel discovers that I.R. has broken his phantom foot! When I.R. goes to see Dr Clearbottom on phantom limbs, this doc's services are at a very high price! Weasel later reveals that it was Clearbottom who dug the hole which injured I.R.'s phantom foot so he can take all his money!

I.R.'s Phantom Foot

The school's newspaper editor has been fired. Teacher then brings in The Red Guy, as reporter Geraldo Rearviewa to advise. He decides to produce a new school-news show, and makes Chicken the anchorman, and Cow the editor. But soon, Red Guy's false stories makes Chicken loses friends.

Dirty Laundry

Cow, Chicken, Mom, and Dad go on a safari in Africa, where they run out of gas. Cow and Chicken then find themselves at the mercy of laughing hyenas, and man-eating giraffes. Super Cow comes to the rescue, only to find that she has actually been defeated by the Grizzly Beaver, who has eaten the giraffe, who has eaten Chicken.

Grizzly Beaver Safari

In ancient Egypt, Weasel and I.R. must save the queen from a huge group of snakes.

Queen of DeNile

The Red Guy sneaks a crow egg under Chicken's covers while he sleeps. The next morning, Cow and Chicken find the egg, and Chicken comes to the conclusion that he is actually a girl. So, it's egg sitting for Cow and Chicken, until the egg hatches and a baby crow comes out. Now Chicken comes to the conclusion that he isn't even a chicken.

Which Came First?

Boneless Chicken teaches Cow and Chicken how to properly fly kites at Lava Park. When Cow's kite tangles with The Red Guy's Kite, he then uses Boneless as his new kite, and has a kite tug-of-war against the tribe, over the hot-boiling-molten-lava river. Cow and Chicken come to Boneless's rescue, and the tribe wins, while Red Guy takes a dip in the lava river.

Boneless Kite

I.R. competes against Weasel in a music concert.

I Are Music Man

A group of female bikers break into Cow and Chicken's house, and start gnawing on their carpet. One of the bikers has a crush on Cow, and invites her to join the Buffalo Gals. It's up to Chicken to save his sister.

Buffalo Gals

Dad is sick of his high-tech reecliner always malfunctioning, so he decides to dump it. Before he does, Cow and Chicken decide to see what it's like to sit in ""The Chair"". They, and they get stuck, and are taken away to museums, and in stolen vans, and finally back at home, where Dad waits for his ""new chair"".

Chicken finds a credit card as his ""free inside prize"". Dad tells him that with the credit card, he can buy all the neat stuff he wants. So Cow and Chicken run down to the weenie emporium, where he learns he can only buy products with the value of 25 cents or less. With that, he buys a stick of weenie bubblegum for 20 cents, then The Red Guy shows up to collect his 5 cent interest.

Chicken turns 11, and is allowed to operate the food catapault. So he feeds Cow with pork butts, but when his sleeve gets caught in the catapault, he ends up getting swallowed by Cow. With that, Mom and Dad take her to The Red Guy, who tries to get Chicken out of Cow's cavernous abdimen.

Journey to the Center of Cow

The Red Guy tells us a story about a small group of Baboon Fairies and how they all work together as presidents, with I.R. Baboon as their slave.

I.R. Pixie Fairie

After Chicken's beak is bruised by Dick, his school bully, Mom and Dad send him to karate lessons. Chicken takes up butt-fu from The Red Guy, but when Chicken still is unable to beat up Dick, Chicken decides to force a refund (with help from an invisible Super Cow).

The Karate Chick

Chicken holds a yard sale, but when one of the price tags accidentally falls off the table and onto the yard, The Red Guy literally buys the yard. Mom and Dad expect Chicken to get the yard back, in which he does by having Cow play a game of one-shot battleship with The Red Guy.

Yard Sale

Weasel and I.R. try some ice fishing in the artic.

I.R. Ice Fisher

Cow and Chicken decide to get on Canada's Funniest Home Vidiots; so they glue each other to their heads, and send the tape in. They then meet the host of the show, The Red Guy (who portrays Lance Sackless). After Cow and Chicken win the grandprize, The Red Guy trashes them with insults about how stupid they look, so Super Cow takes out The Red Guy.

Meet Lance Sackless

Mom and Dad are upset that Cow and Chicken aren't afraid of the dark, so they call in a specialist on fear: The Red Guy (who portrays Dr. Lackslacks). He tries everyway he can to make Cow and Chicken afraid, only succeeding in making himself afraid of everything.

Who's Afraid of the Dark?

I Am Weasel saves a woman from a fire, but everyone thinks I.R. did it and Weasel actually started the fire.

I.R. Role Model

Teacher is disappointed when the school's plastic surgery team has no championships, so she calls in The Red Guy, to be the new plastic surgery coach. Chicken and Cow immediately join the team, and are taken to the finals, where they must compete against real doctors, who are still in grade school.

The Bad News Plastic Surgeons

The neighboring county of Montzerellaville is in the middle of a Holy Cheese War. One of their own, Slappy McCracken, is part of the exchange student program. He and Cow fall head over heals for each other. Cow then decides to stop the cheese war by proving that cheese isn't used for weapons, it's used for food.

The Exchange Student

Cow selfishly wants Weasel for herself so she fishes him out of the tv with a pie! But I.R. becomes very lonely without Weasel.

I.R. in Wrong Cartoon

Amateur director Ivan Panced (The Red Guy) hold auditions for the role of ""Pretty Little Girl"" in his new movie with the same name. Cow wins the role by being the only girl who can't puddle dance. Cow's performance is charming, and well as tear-jerking: the horror is yet to come as the cameraman discovers he forgot to put the film in the camera.

Child Star

Cow and Chicken mess with a Junior Chemistry Set, and created perpetual energy, a beam of energy that keeps on going forever. The Red Guy kidnaps Cow and Chicken to recreate the energy, so he can win a trip to up North without having to sell Military Scout Cookies.

Perpetual Energy

While working on a supermarket, Weasel meets a smart banana with the ability of speaking.

My Friend, the Smart Banana

Cow and Chicken are sent to the copy room to make copies of the pop quiz. They then get carried away by making copies of their butts, and themselves: causing the copier to blow up. Cow and Chicken run down to the local officer supply store, while The Red Guy brings a copy of Chicken to life. The Chicken copy then causes chaos all over school, while Cow and the real Chicken try to destroy it.

Bad Chicken

Chicken rushes through breakfast, and accidentally eats a box full of coffee flakes. He then goes crazy and has trouble getting to sleep. On his third night of no sleep, Chicken then runs up the Empire State Building. Super Cow shoots him with warm milk, and Chicken finally falls asleep.

Stay Awake

Weasel investigates the strange habits of I.R., who keeps changing his habitat due to unknown reasons.

I.R. Wild Baboon

Follows the surreal adventures of a cow, named Cow, and her chicken brother, named Chicken. They are often antagonized by "The Red Guy", who poses as various characters to scam them.

I Am My Lifetime

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Season 2 Episodes39

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