Alf hears of the provision of home-helps by the DHSS, but none of them will stay in the same house as him. After a session in the pub with Arthur, he returns home to find that Else has acquired a different kind of home-help - one who will stay!

Rita comes to visit and no sooner is she through the door than Alf argues with her about Else. After Alf has criticised Margaret Thatcher,claiming that no woman should be prime minister,Else and Rita gang up against him with Winston,who brings an equally camp friend home to throw a party for Rita. Alf is given extremely strong drink so that,whilst the others continue carousing,he passes out.

Tired of pushing Else around in her chair Alf feels she should have an electric scooter but they cost two and a half grand and the woman at Social Security tells Alf that,as long as he is around to push,Else is ineligible. Taking an idea from some kids with a go-kart Alf adds jet propulsion to the chair,which goes out of control,foiling a bank robbery and landing him in hospital. He is declared a hero but,following Winston's view that the robbers' accomplices may be out to get him,decides to remain anonymous.

Alf Garnett has not mellowed with the years and is as bigoted as ever. The Garnetts are now living in a council maisonette, near West Ham football ground, but Alf's lot is not made easy by having to push Else, who has rheumatoid arthritis, around in a wheelchair.

Alf tries the patience of good natured Fred Johnson and his wife from next door by using their phone to make a very long-winded long distance call to Rita. After expounding upon funerals in the pub Alf repays Fred by buying him so many drinks he falls over but Alf's homeward progress pushing Else in her wheelchair also ends in drunken calamity.

Opticians are the focus of Alf attention this week. Also in the firing line are yer Fleet Street and yer Church, but he meets his match outside a ladies loo.