The Worst Episodes of In Sickness and in Health

Alf Garnett has not mellowed with the years and is as bigoted as ever. The Garnetts are now living in a council maisonette, near West Ham football ground, but Alf's lot is not made easy by having to push Else, who has rheumatoid arthritis, around in a wheelchair.

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Opticians are the focus of Alf attention this week. Also in the firing line are yer Fleet Street and yer Church, but he meets his match outside a ladies loo.

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Alf hears of the provision of home-helps by the DHSS, but none of them will stay in the same house as him. After a session in the pub with Arthur, he returns home to find that Else has acquired a different kind of home-help - one who will stay!

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Alf tries the patience of good natured Fred Johnson and his wife from next door by using their phone to make a very long-winded long distance call to Rita. After expounding upon funerals in the pub Alf repays Fred by buying him so many drinks he falls over but Alf's homeward progress pushing Else in her wheelchair also ends in drunken calamity.

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Rita comes to visit and no sooner is she through the door than Alf argues with her about Else. After Alf has criticised Margaret Thatcher,claiming that no woman should be prime minister,Else and Rita gang up against him with Winston,who brings an equally camp friend home to throw a party for Rita. Alf is given extremely strong drink so that,whilst the others continue carousing,he passes out.

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Tired of pushing Else around in her chair Alf feels she should have an electric scooter but they cost two and a half grand and the woman at Social Security tells Alf that,as long as he is around to push,Else is ineligible. Taking an idea from some kids with a go-kart Alf adds jet propulsion to the chair,which goes out of control,foiling a bank robbery and landing him in hospital. He is declared a hero but,following Winston's view that the robbers' accomplices may be out to get him,decides to remain anonymous.

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Alf returns from the funeral of Else, his long-suffering wife. Having lost her disability allowance of E30 and half the pension, life ahead is not too rosy.

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When Rita and Winston come in at night making a noise, Mrs. Hollingbery decides to start locking the front door of the flats at 10:30. But can Alf make it back from the pub in time?

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Mrs. Hollingbery's obsession with locking doors takes on new dimensions when she even locks Alf into his own flat but then he needs to go to toilet. Meanwhile the shopkeeper wants to call in Elsa's debts, and the milkman has some news about her gambling

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Alf gets fed up with everybody having a Sunday roast except him, so he makes his first trip to a supermarket. But he's forgotten he can't cook

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Rita buys Alf a second-hand jacket, and when he notices it is covered in medals he uses it to try to gain all sorts of favours under false pretences. He also gets a visit from canvassing politicians.

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Alf's old neighbour Min turns up uninvited with her senile sister

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Alf's joy at Rita's pending divorce is short lived when he learns she is to live with the new doctor.

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The arrival of Alf's AIDS leaflets spurs him and Arthur into action to aid Mary Whitehouse.

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When Alf is given a cordless telephone it turns out to be more of a hindrance than a help.

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Gwenneth and Min come to visit Alf. They decide to hold a seance to talk to long departed friends.

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Alf has a fight at a tea dance and meets up again with his adversary outside his house.

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Alf complains to the DHSS that he should have been paid more winter's heating allowance. He has a loud, revealing dream in front of his friends.

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Alf attacks the council housing policy - and Mrs Hollingbery upstairs. His drinking pal, Arthur, tries to convince Alf that he should make an effort to get along with Mrs Hollingbery. In fact Arthur suggests that Alf should marry Mrs Hollingbery - not a suggestion that appeals to Alf, although he can see there might be some rewards. After all, she's not a bad cook and her pension could come in handy.

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Arthur is still trying to convince Alf that he should get married again, to Mrs Hollingberry. Alf is toying with the idea, not so much for love, but for the opportunity to put two pensions together and get the house cheap off the council!

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Alf and Mrs Hollingbery are now engaged to be married and Alf has already started to enjoy her cooking. They treat Arthur, who thinks he's won the pools, to a celebration dinner. Naturally, Alf has to remind Arthur who his best friend is, as best friends share everything.

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Alf and Mrs Hollingbery are preparing for a trip to Australia to meet her rich brother, in the hope that he'll lend them money to buy their house cheap off the council once they are married. Alf, ever the romantic, persuades Arthur, as best man, to go with them, so he can have someone to talk to. (Mrs Hollingbery 's company doesn't count). It could also have something to do with the fact that Alf is terrified of making the trip.

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Alf and Mrs Hollingbery are off to Australia to meet her rich brother, and to get married down under. Alf is not sure which he is more frightened of - flying to Australia or getting married again. His drinking pal, Arthur, has to go along to hold his hand.

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Alf, Mrs Hollingbery and Arthur have made the trip to Australia to meet Mrs Hollingbery's rich brother Ricky and his wife Railene. After a few days of Alf's company, Railene and Ricky would like to pack him off to Crocodile Dundee country!

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Alf, Mrs Hollingbery and Arthur are still staying with Mrs Hollingbery's rich brother Ricky in Australia. Ricky and his wife Railene take them off on a trip to the outback; Alf is terrified and his fear is not helped by Ricky's practical jokes. What has so far been dislike, now becomes open war between Alf and Ricky, particularly when Alf discovers that Ricky's 'generous' offer to lend them the money to buy their council house in London may not be all it seems.

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