John's plan to encourage Samantha to skip her ballet class and take up boxing with his trainer, Troy, behind her mother Heather's back has unexpected consequences. Also, Jen tries to discreetly seek a second opinion when Tim tells her she needs tonsil surgery; Joan constantly scares Matt by hiding spiders around him; and Greg grows a wiry beard that irritates Jen.

The holiday spirit is alive, well and wildly different for each member of the Short family.

Joan invites their recently widowed neighbor, Gary Timpkins, to Thanksgiving dinner, during which everyone has a bad reaction to Colleen’s cauliflower dish. Also, Tim and Sophia try to find a last-minute replacement for Heather’s spoiled turkey, Jen and Greg debate who to name as Lark’s godparent and John takes Samantha to the Harvest Festival, where she sneaks into the corn maze with her boyfriend, Aiden.

When Heather, Clementine and Jen offer to save Joan from the stress of preparing the Thanksgiving meal, the free time leaves Joan every more frazzled. Also, Greg has a boost of self-confidence after learning he has high levels of testosterone.

The first season concludes with John and Joan revealing a shocking secret they've kept from their kids for 35 years. Also, Greg quits his job after creating a public funding campaign for his own invention. Heather and Tim try to make up for missing Samantha's Student of the Month Ceremony at school, and Matt's plan to make a big announcement at his and Colleen's book party keeps getting delayed.

Tim and Heather unintentionally make things incredibly awkward for Tyler when he brings his gorgeous new girlfriend, Clementine, to meet the family. Also, Matt and Colleen are caught canoodling at the office by their obnoxious co-worker, Will, Jen and Greg vow not to become germaphobes, and John buys Sophia a cell phone behind her parents' backs.

After realizing that Sophia is growing up faster than he’d like, John buys himself a pet, but it doesn’t get along well with Joan. Also, Heather accidentally sends Tyler a sexy text message, Jen and Greg try to help Samantha win her boyfriend back and Heather and Jen console Colleen and Matt over their break-up.

When the Short family arrives at their vacation resort in the Yucatan, their accommodations aren’t quite what they expected. Heather is ridiculously overprotective of Sophia during the family activities. Jen and Greg discover that Matt and Colleen have been duping everyone. John and Joan get separated from their tour group in the jungle.

When Jen and Greg interview potential nannies for Lark, they find it difficult to find one they trust. Also, Tim, Matt and Greg go camping, Heather suspects Matt bought Colleen earrings with money she loaned him, and John makes a wooden puppet for Lark that the family has more fun playing with than she does.

When Jen cuts her finger and Greg takes her to the hospital, they finally have the first quality alone time they’ve had in months. Also, John takes Samantha and Sophia to a restaurant where everything is named after feelings, Heather gives Tim a sexy anniversary gift, and Sophia is punished after Heather hears her swearing.

When Matt invites Colleen to brunch with the family, he coaches her through the difficult task of connecting with them. Also, John, Matt and Greg try to prove their masculinity by cutting down a tree in Greg's backyard, Tim has an adverse reaction to espresso, and a sleep-deprived Greg has a run-in with the cops.

Greg is still bitter over an accident that sidelined a competitive game of ping-pong he and Matt had started years ago, so they decide to finally settle the score. Also, Heather questions herself after urging Tim to get a vasectomy, Jen is stressed about returning to work, and Joan learns her credit card has been stolen after strange packages start arriving.

When Tyler and Clementine go to a guitar store, Tyler gets uncomfortable when the attractive salesman, Ian, repeatedly hits on her. Also, Tim’s tattoo artist, Lois makes a spelling error on a tattoo he got as a Valentine’s Day surprise for Heather, Matt’s plan to celebrate Valentine’s Day with Colleen doesn’t go as well as he hoped, and Greg and Jen discuss whether they should have another baby

When John starts feeling old, he attempts to make himself look younger, much to the dismay of his family. Also, Heather worries that Sophia’s piano recital will be a disaster; Jen, Greg and Lark go to an over-the-top birthday party full of overachieving parents who make them panic about getting Lark into a good preschool; and Matt meets Colleen’s mother, Mia, for the first time.

Greg feels threatened by Jen's handsome assistant; Tim and Heather plan a prank.

Tim thinks wearing a Cinderella dress during March Madness is good luck, so he refuses to take it off in hopes his alma mater will win. Also, Greg fantasizes about what to write in a birthday card for his boss, Tyler goes to prom and must withstand unsolicited advice from his parents and grandparents, and Jen sets Matt up on a blind date with her coworker, Dougie.

When Tim and Heather go to an expensive dinner to celebrate their anniversary, they are determined to finish every bite of their pricey 20-course meal. Also, Jen and Greg try to quickly potty-train Lark before her first day of preschool; Tyler gets jealous of the attention Clementine is getting at work; and Matt and Samantha team up for a “Middle Child Day” and go to a trapeze school.

The Short family's quirky history is revealed with stories of when Tim met Heather's family for the first time; when Jen and Greg bought their dream home; when Matt got sidetracked after he saw Colleen while waiting for a blind date; and John's last flight before retiring.

Jen and Greg find out a surprising piece of news. Also, Sophia wants to get a second piercing in her ear, to the dismay of Heather and Tim; Colleen and Matt send out a video thank you message for their wedding gifts that irritates the family; and John takes a modeling job but is horrified when he finds out his image is used alongside a product for the elderly.

Tim and Heather plan a surprise birthday party for Samantha, but the night takes an unexpected turn when she doesn't come home alone. Also, Matt and Colleen learn their surrogate can no longer carry their baby; John and Joan decide to learn Spanish for their next adventure; and Jen and Greg have to find a way to keep their secret from the family.

When Matt and Colleen catch Chad trying to kidnap her beloved pup, Princess, Chad uses the opportunity to pitch them his new business venture. Also, Jen and Greg try to be intimate for the first time since having a baby, Heather “breaks up” with her longtime hairstylist, Lynette, and Tim ruins Samantha’s birthday party.

When the entire Hughes family moves into John and Joan's home after their kitchen is destroyed, their presence creates chaos for Joan. Also, Matt and Colleen are set to receive a huge monetary settlementfrom Colleen's fall off the motel balcony on their wedding night; John tries to get Sophia back on track when she starts misbehaving; Tyler and Clementine make a surprise announcement to the family; and Jen and Greg attempt to persuade Lark to get rid of her pacifier.

When Sophia feels like she is no longer the cutest kid in the Short family, she tries frantically to regain her status. Also, Joan gives Jen a beautiful necklace, forgetting she already gave it to Heather for her Sweet 16, and now she has to get it back; Greg tries to fit in with his new young coworkers but takes things too far; and Colleen and Tim bond when he helps her administer the hormone injections for her IVF treatment.

The siblings congratulate Greg after word spreads that he stood up to Joan for passive-aggressively questioning Jen’s parenting skills. Also, Chad insists on having one last meal with Colleen’s grandmother before heading off to jail, Matt and Greg discourage Tim from beating John at a round of golf and Sophia gets a peanut stuck up her nose.

Colleen joins John and his Air Force buddies for his annual tradition of dirty Christmas caroling. Also, Joan tries to hijack Lark’s first Christmas from Jen and Greg, Samantha sneaks out with her friends and is caught when a photo of her and a mall Santa is posted online, and Tyler announces his plans for college,