The Best Episodes of House of Payne

C.J. moves in with Curtis and Ella after his house burns down. Meanwhile, the family plans a surprise 50th birthday party for Curtis.

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Curtis and Ella's relationship hits a bump when Ella claims that Curtis takes her for granted. Curtis learns his lesson when the always sassy Madea materializes in one of his dreams as his wife. Elsewhere, Malik takes up football in order to woo a cheerleader.

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Malik is confronted by a school bully, and Curtis has to handle the situation. What he can't handle is the bully's mother.

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C.J. becomes suspicious of Janine, while Jazmine misses her toys and friends.

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Janine's drug abuse is recognized, while Calvin tries to sell fake designer wear.

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C.J. looks for Janine, while Curtis enrolls in an anger management course.

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Curtis thinks Malik is gay after seeing him wear a tutu. Meanwhile, Curtis offers some of his and Ella's retirement money to C.J. in order to jump start him and the kids moving out.

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C.J. accepts Curtis and Ella's money offer, but when he uses the money to put Janine in rehab she checks herself out, causing C.J. to lose the money and find a way to break the news to Curtis. Meanwhile, Calvin shows off Curtis and Ella's house as his own to impress a girl.

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A school assembly about "Say No To Drugs" upsets Jazmine, because of Janine's drug problems. Meanwhile, the firefighters protest after Curtis refuses to replace the broken television at the firehouse.

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Janine's parents show up looking for her. Claretha believes she knows Janine's father.

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Janine's parents return and want custody of the kids. The firefighters "misplace" the fire truck.

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Curtis has impotency issues. Meanwhile, C.J. tries to work out his debt.

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The firefighters do a pinup calendar as a fundraiser and are surprised when a new firefighter assigned to the house is a woman named Angel. Meanwhile, Jazmine sells candy for her school.

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Malik's going through puberty and the women in the house are clueless. Meanwhile, a failing inspection at the firehouse is Curtis's fault.

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Jazmine, despite being in the 3rd grade, runs for president of the school. She enlists the entire family into helping her with election with Uncle Curtis as her debate opponent.

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An old high school flame of C.J.'s comes back in his life with a claim that is bound to rock his world. Meanwhile, Malik's hanging around a bad group of kids and gets into trouble.

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The possibility that CJ might be the father of another child continues to be a family issue. Meanwhile, Malik continues to keep company with sketchy kids.

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Janine and her associates from the crack-house break in and steal from the Payne's house. Meanwhile, Calvin trains for a marathon.

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Calvin plans a house party when the rest of the family visits relatives in Florida.

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Janine's associate, Beverly, steals Ella's identity, causing Ella to be briefly jailed for check kiting. Afterward, Ella feels compelled to confront Janine at the crack house. Meanwhile, Calvin crams for mid-terms.

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Malik and Kevin meet someone on the Internet, who turns out to be a man. Meanwhile, Curtis and Claretha have jury duty together.

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Everyone tries to hook C.J. up on a date. Meanwhile, a woman who's HIV-positive volunteers at the Help Center.

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Curtis gets a colonoscopy and thinks he's dying. Meanwhile, Calvin goes on a date with Karen, the woman who's HIV-positive.

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The firehouse is overwhelmed by a nasty storm that hits Atlanta. Miscommunication about retrieving the kids from school causes a mix up that leads to sparks flying between C.J. and the assistant principal.

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After Jazmine "rescues" a hamster from her school, her assistant principal comes to the Payne household to investigate. When Malik finds out that Jazmine did abscond with the hamster, they keep it a secret, and it becomes a problem, and the mayhem becomes the order of the day.

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