Jerry, Elaine and George stop for a quick Chinese dinner before a showing of Plan 9 From Outer Space on the big screen. However, while waiting a really long time to get a table, Jerry sees a woman whose name he can't recall; George needs to use a phone he can't have and Elaine needs food, more than those seated ahead of them.

Jerry buys a real expensive new suede jacket with a colorful inner lining. George has a song from Les Miserables that he just can't get out of his mind. Kramer is supposed pickup a magician friend's doves, and needs someone to help him for two minutes; Elaine takes on the job. Kramer promises she'll get "a lift" to the hotel where Jerry and George are meeting her and her father, Alton Benes, an author cut from Hemingway cloth. Jerry and George suffer while waiting with Elaine's father. When it begins to snow, Jerry turns his new jacket inside out, to protect it, but Alton Benes doesn't want to be seen on the street with him.

George blows an invitation upstairs with his latest girlfriend and then when he tries to make restitution he leaves progressively nastier messages on her answering machine. He gets the chance to prevent her from hearing her messages by having Jerry switch the tape out of her machine, while he distracts her. Jerry and his girlfriend have a disagreement about a TV commercial for Dockers, and his telling his friends about their conflict.

George quits his job in a huff after he is demoted to using the regular bathroom. Newman tells Kramer that he plans to jump off the building. Jerry suggests that George just go back into work next Monday morning and pretend like nothing happened; however, that doesn't work. Newman jumps, from the second floor. George plots revenge, and with Elaine's help, tries to slip his boss "a Mickey." Jerry suspects that his launderer is a larcenist after he discovers that $1500 he had stashed in his laundry bag is missing. Kramer helps Jerry get revenge by bringing a bag of concrete in to put into one of the wash machines.

Jerry and Elaine are watching TV late at night and stumble across "naked people" and that gets them both discussing whether they could have a relationship and not jeopardize their friendship. George says it can't be done, but Jerry and Elaine devise "a system"; however, it develops a little trouble when her birthday comes along.

George has doubts about his current relationship that he broke off. Elaine is curious about a relationship that she has with a guy in her building that has degenerated over the past two years. Jerry is reluctantly drawn into George's ex-relationship when he picks up some books left at her apartment. Although he wants to break it off with her, she has this "psycho-sexual" hold over him and he becomes worried about what George might think if he lets this relationship develop. Elaine confronts the guy in her building and Jerry's relationship maybe in jeopardy when his girlfriend sees his act.

Jerry has a box of stuff his grandfather left him. Inside is an interesting looking statue that could replace one George's parents had years ago, but he broke. George plans to pick the statue up later but in the meantime he tells his parents about the replacement statue. Meanwhile the boyfriend of a bitter Finnish author (whose latest work Elaine is going to edit) is going to clean Jerry's apartment. When Jerry returns to his apartment it is cleaned beyond reason. Later when Jerry and Elaine are at the author's apartment, they see the statue on her mantelpiece. Getting it back may jeopardize Elaine's chance at being an editor, but save George from his parent's wrath.

George thinks he's had a heart attack. The doctor tells him otherwise, but he might want to get his tonsils and adenoids removed. Elaine is interested in the doctor and he is interested in her tongue. George not wanting to deal with the cost, follows Kramer's suggestion of going to a holistic healer. The healer's cure turns George purple and the ride to the hospital is delayed over a Chuckle.

George inadvertently meddles in the life of a busboy, by getting him fired. He tries to rectify things; however, he winds up compounding them by losing the busboy's cat. Elaine discovers that a week is much too long to have a houseguest. She does everything in her power to get him out. The busboy's life is saved and made for the better after his involvement with George, until he meets Elaine's houseguest.

Kramer tries mousse in his hair. Jerry gets Elaine an opportunity to get the apartment right above him, before he realizes the possible implications. George tests the "man with a wedding band" theory of meeting women.

Jerry's parents come to town for a 50th anniversary party. Jerry bets Kramer that he won't complete his plans to renovate his apartment with levels in a month. Jerry takes Elaine to the dinner and he makes an observation about children who have ponies, this remark offends the guest of honor. When she dies soon afterwards, Jerry wonders if he should go to the funeral or go to his championship softball game. Elaine wonders about the fate of the apartment, when she hears the widower is moving to Arizona. George wonders if it will ever be possible for him to have sex again.

Elaine needs to use Jerry's apartment to hold a baby shower for a woman that once dated George. George reflects that she was "unequivocally the worst date of my life." Jerry has to go out of town for a show, so he lets Elaine use the apartment. Kramer sells Jerry on the idea on getting an illegal cable hookup. The party begins. The cable guys come to install the hookup. Jerry's show gets canceled, so he returns to the apartment with George (who's prepared to confront the bad date). Jerry is the victim of his own confrontation.