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The Best Episodes of ted

Every episode of ted ranked from best to worst. Let's dive into the Best Episodes of ted!

Binge this in 9h 10m•Peaking at 8.8/10

It's 1993 and Ted the bear's moment of fame has passed, leaving him living with his best friend, 16-year-old John Bennett, who lives in a working-class Boston home with his parents and cousin. Ted may

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Seasons2

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Episode Rankings

  1. #1 Fan Favorite
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    ted Season 2 Episode 3 - Dungeons & Dealers
    8.8/10(263 votes)

    #1 - Dungeons & Dealers

    S2:E3

    John, Ted and Blaire must complete a drug dealer's Dungeons & Dragons campaign to score weed.

    Director:Seth MacFarlane
    Writer:Chelsea Davison

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  2. ted Season 2 Episode 8 - Fraudcast News
    8.8/10(127 votes)

    #2 - Fraudcast News

    S2:E8

    John and Ted create a fake newspaper to keep Matty from learning about the O.J. Simpson verdict.

    Director:Seth MacFarlane
    Writers:Paul Corrigan, Brad Walsh

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  3. ted Season 2 Episode 5 - The Sword in the Stoned
    8.7/10(173 votes)

    #3 - The Sword in the Stoned

    S2:E5

    John and Ted audition for the school play; Matty and Susan get part-time jobs at Dunkin' Donuts.

    Director:Seth MacFarlane
    Writer:Julius Sharpe

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  4. ted Season 2 Episode 7 - Susan Is the New Black
    8.7/10(132 votes)

    #4 - Susan Is the New Black

    S2:E7

    Susan takes the fall for John and Ted when a police officer finds their weed during a traffic stop.

    Director:Seth MacFarlane
    Writer:Kirker Butler

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  5. ted Season 2 Episode 4 - The Mom's Bombed Rom-Com
    8.5/10(187 votes)

    #5 - The Mom's Bombed Rom-Com

    S2:E4

    Blaire's rom-com movie marathon annoys Matty; Ted and John double date with their elderly neighbor.

    Director:Seth MacFarlane
    Writers:Seth MacFarlane, Julius Sharpe

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  6. ted Season 2 Episode 2 - Mrs. Robicheck
    8.4/10(284 votes)

    #6 - Mrs. Robicheck

    S2:E2

    Ted starts a risky love affair with a married woman; Matty deals with erectile dysfunction.

    Director:Seth MacFarlane
    Writer:Dana Gould

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    The 20 WORST Episodes of ted

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  7. ted Season 1 Episode 4 - Subways, Bicycles and Automobiles
    8.2/10(2260 votes)

    #7 - Subways, Bicycles and Automobiles

    S1:E4

    Ted's plan to spend Halloween with John is thwarted when Blaire forces him to be her designated driver for the night. Susan tries to cheer John up by finding him a new friend.

    Director:Seth MacFarlane
    Writer:Jon Pollack

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  8. ted Season 1 Episode 7 - He's Gotta Have It
    8.2/10(2066 votes)

    #8 - He's Gotta Have It

    S1:E7

    As the end of the school year approaches, Ted plots to help John lose his virginity after John learns he is the last virgin in school.

    Director:Seth MacFarlane
    Writers:Paul Corrigan, Brad Walsh

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  9. ted Season 2 Episode 1 - Talk Dirty to Me
    8.1/10(374 votes)

    #9 - Talk Dirty to Me

    S2:E1

    John and Ted use the school's phone to call a phone-sex hotline, leading to an investigation.

    Director:Seth MacFarlane
    Writer:Aaron Lee

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  10. ted Season 2 Episode 6 - Roe v. Weed
    8.1/10(156 votes)

    #10 - Roe v. Weed

    S2:E6

    Blaire finds herself navigating an unexpected pregnancy, leading to mixed reactions from the family.

    Director:Seth MacFarlane
    Writer:Chelsea Davison

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  11. ted Season 1 Episode 1 - Just Say Yes
    7.9/10(2783 votes)

    #11 - Just Say Yes

    S1:E1

    When Matty makes Ted go to school with John, Ted immediately decides to get expelled.

    Director:Seth MacFarlane
    Writer:Seth MacFarlane

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  12. ted Season 1 Episode 5 - Desperately Seeking Susan
    7.9/10(2086 votes)

    #12 - Desperately Seeking Susan

    S1:E5

    Blaire convinces Matty and Susan to let Ted act as their marriage therapist. After the session, Ted, John and Blaire encourage Susan to pursue the career she abandoned long ago.

    Director:Seth MacFarlane
    Writer:Seth MacFarlane

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  13. ted Season 1 Episode 2 - My Two Dads
    7.7/10(2450 votes)

    #13 - My Two Dads

    S1:E2

    Ted and John's plan to exact revenge on the school bully inadvertently puts them in a parental role. Matty agrees to get a colonoscopy… on one condition.

    Director:Seth MacFarlane
    Writers:Paul Corrigan, Brad Walsh

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  14. ted Season 1 Episode 3 - Ejectile Dysfunction
    7.7/10(2231 votes)

    #14 - Ejectile Dysfunction

    S1:E3

    Ted and John go to extraordinary lengths so that John can watch his first adult film. Matty and Susan's disappointing night out leads Susan to question their relationship.

    Director:Seth MacFarlane
    Writer:Dana Gould

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  15. ted Season 1 Episode 6 - Loud Night
    6.7/10(2857 votes)

    #15 - Loud Night

    S1:E6

    Matty's unorthodox Christmas wish is granted, completely upending the Bennett family dynamic. A trip to church gets John and Ted wondering about Ted's miraculous origin.

    Director:Seth MacFarlane
    Writer:Julius Sharpe

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Best Episodes Summary

"Dungeons & Dealers" is the best rated episode of "ted". It scored 8.8/10 based on 263 votes. Directed by Seth MacFarlane and written by Chelsea Davison, it aired on 3/5/2026. This episode scored 0.0 points higher than the second highest rated, "Fraudcast News".