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The Worst Episodes of ted

Every episode of ted ranked from worst to best. Explore the Worst Episodes of ted!

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It's 1993 and Ted the bear's moment of fame has passed, leaving him living with his best friend, 16-year-old John Bennett, who lives in a working-class Boston home with his parents and cousin. Ted may

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Episode Rankings

  1. #1 Worst Episode
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    ted Season 1 Episode 6 - Loud Night
    7.0/10(28 votes)

    #1 - Loud Night

    S1:E6

    Matty's unorthodox Christmas wish is granted, completely upending the Bennett family dynamic. A trip to church gets John and Ted wondering about Ted's miraculous origin.

    Director:Seth MacFarlane
    Writer:Julius Sharpe

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  2. ted Season 1 Episode 2 - My Two Dads
    7.6/10(37 votes)

    #2 - My Two Dads

    S1:E2

    Ted and John's plan to exact revenge on the school bully inadvertently puts them in a parental role. Matty agrees to get a colonoscopy… on one condition.

    Director:Seth MacFarlane
    Writers:Brad Walsh, Paul Corrigan

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  3. ted Season 1 Episode 5 - Desperately Seeking Susan
    7.6/10(27 votes)

    #3 - Desperately Seeking Susan

    S1:E5

    Blaire convinces Matty and Susan to let Ted act as their marriage therapist. After the session, Ted, John and Blaire encourage Susan to pursue the career she abandoned long ago.

    Director:Seth MacFarlane
    Writer:Seth MacFarlane

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  4. ted Season 2 Episode 4 - The Mom's Bombed Rom-Com
    7.6/10(14 votes)

    #4 - The Mom's Bombed Rom-Com

    S2:E4

    Blaire's rom-com movie marathon annoys Matty; Ted and John double date with their elderly neighbor.

    Director:Seth MacFarlane
    Writers:Seth MacFarlane, Julius Sharpe

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  5. ted Season 1 Episode 3 - Ejectile Dysfunction
    7.7/10(31 votes)

    #5 - Ejectile Dysfunction

    S1:E3

    Ted and John go to extraordinary lengths so that John can watch his first adult film. Matty and Susan's disappointing night out leads Susan to question their relationship.

    Director:Seth MacFarlane
    Writer:Dana Gould

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  6. ted Season 1 Episode 4 - Subways, Bicycles and Automobiles
    7.7/10(27 votes)

    #6 - Subways, Bicycles and Automobiles

    S1:E4

    Ted's plan to spend Halloween with John is thwarted when Blaire forces him to be her designated driver for the night. Susan tries to cheer John up by finding him a new friend.

    Director:Seth MacFarlane
    Writer:Jon Pollack

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  7. ted Season 2 Episode 6 - Roe v. Weed
    7.7/10(15 votes)

    #7 - Roe v. Weed

    S2:E6

    Blaire finds herself navigating an unexpected pregnancy, leading to mixed reactions from the family.

    Director:Seth MacFarlane
    Writer:Chelsea Davison

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  8. ted Season 1 Episode 1 - Just Say Yes
    7.8/10(59 votes)

    #8 - Just Say Yes

    S1:E1

    When Matty makes Ted go to school with John, Ted immediately decides to get expelled.

    Director:Seth MacFarlane
    Writer:Seth MacFarlane

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  9. ted Season 2 Episode 7 - Susan Is the New Black
    7.8/10(13 votes)

    #9 - Susan Is the New Black

    S2:E7

    Susan takes the fall for John and Ted when a police officer finds their weed during a traffic stop.

    Director:Seth MacFarlane
    Writer:Kirker Butler

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  10. ted Season 2 Episode 8 - Fraudcast News
    7.9/10(13 votes)

    #10 - Fraudcast News

    S2:E8

    John and Ted create a fake newspaper to keep Matty from learning about the O.J. Simpson verdict.

    Director:Seth MacFarlane
    Writers:Brad Walsh, Paul Corrigan

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  11. ted Season 1 Episode 7 - He's Gotta Have It
    8.0/10(28 votes)

    #11 - He's Gotta Have It

    S1:E7

    As the end of the school year approaches, Ted plots to help John lose his virginity after John learns he is the last virgin in school.

    Director:Seth MacFarlane
    Writers:Brad Walsh, Paul Corrigan

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  12. ted Season 2 Episode 1 - Talk Dirty to Me
    8.0/10(30 votes)

    #12 - Talk Dirty to Me

    S2:E1

    John and Ted use the school's phone to call a phone-sex hotline, leading to an investigation.

    Director:Seth MacFarlane
    Writer:Aaron Lee

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  13. ted Season 2 Episode 3 - Dungeons & Dealers
    8.0/10(14 votes)

    #13 - Dungeons & Dealers

    S2:E3

    John, Ted and Blaire must complete a drug dealer's Dungeons & Dragons campaign to score weed.

    Director:Seth MacFarlane
    Writer:Chelsea Davison

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  14. ted Season 2 Episode 5 - The Sword in the Stoned
    8.1/10(15 votes)

    #14 - The Sword in the Stoned

    S2:E5

    John and Ted audition for the school play; Matty and Susan get part-time jobs at Dunkin' Donuts.

    Director:Seth MacFarlane
    Writer:Julius Sharpe

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  15. ted Season 2 Episode 2 - Mrs. Robicheck
    8.2/10(20 votes)

    #15 - Mrs. Robicheck

    S2:E2

    Ted starts a risky love affair with a married woman; Matty deals with erectile dysfunction.

    Director:Seth MacFarlane
    Writer:Dana Gould

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Worst Episodes Summary

"Loud Night" is the worst rated episode of "ted". It scored 7/10 based on 28 votes. Directed by Seth MacFarlane and written by Julius Sharpe, it aired on 1/11/2024. This episode scored 0.6 points lower than the second lowest rated, "My Two Dads".