The Worst Episodes of The Drew Carey Show

Drew hosts a film about the dangers of cooties. Another film shows girls how cheerleading can help them later in life. Mimi bothers Uncle Kracker for help with a crossword puzzle. A clueless police officer goes undercover while still wearing his uniform. Peter Frampton recalls his past romance with Mimi. A talking zit gives a young man questionable dating advice. Mimi tries to convince Sugar Ray to stay over at her place after the show. Drew compliments teachers, with the exception of his elementary school teacher, Ms. Freeman. He boasts that math isn't necessary in life, only to miss out on a party because Mark McGrath of Sugar Ray tells him the location in the form of a story problem.

Director: Gerry Cohen

Writer: Drew Carey, Clay Graham, Bruce Rasmussen, Mitch Hunter, Sam Simon

The cast and special guests perform comedy sketches with a ""back to school"" theme. Teenage Drew visits a doctor and learns about his ""changing body."" A wood shop teacher conducts class, despite the fact that he is just a decapitated head. A sketch parodies the accelerated aging process seen in commercials for milk. Oswald and Lewis try to convince SHeDAISY to hire them as backup singers. Two girls at a slumber party decide to practice kissing on each other. Christa Miller and Jenny McCarthy question the purpose of the sketch after noticing that Drew, John Carroll Lynch and a bunch of pervert crew members are gawking at them. They retaliate by making a sketch in which a buff Abraham Lincoln becomes a stripper and dances for Drew. Oswald tries to impress Jenny with a story about a painful football injury, but the flashback reveals that he was actually a cheerleader. Mimi warns musical guest Smash Mouth not to steal her idea for a speed metal version of Gordon Lightfoot's ""The Wr

Director: Gerry Cohen

Writer: Drew Carey, Clay Graham, Bruce Rasmussen, Mitch Hunter, Sam Simon

Drew takes salsa lessons in the hopes of learning to dance for his wedding. Kellie gets jealous when he becomes attracted to his instructor. She confesses her feelings to Mimi, who tells her to keep quiet. Drew practices dancing with Kellie and decides that he has a thing for her. He wants to tell her how he feels; but ""unfortunately,"" he doesn't get a chance because her ex-husband, Daryl, barges in on them.

Director: Gerry Cohen

Writer: N/A

After learning that Gus's soccer team is in a league that has set things up to make sure that no one ever loses (to keep the kids from feeling bad), Drew tries to butt in, leading to disastrous results for his nephew. Lewis and Oswald make the mistake of getting involved with Kellie's cousin, who turns out to be a kleptomaniac.

Director: Bob Koherr

Writer: N/A

Drew turns to a shady travel agent for help when he is unable to put together the funds to finance Kellie's dream vacation in Italy.

Director: Drew Carey

Writer: N/A

The gang discovers someone else is marketing a coffee-flavored beer called Cap-Beer-Cino. The owner, Chris Vanderkamp, openly admits stealing the idea but has enough lawyers to keep him in the clear. Cap-Beer-Cino becomes a sensation at the Warsaw, which leaves the gang desperate for business.

Director: Sam Simon

Writer: N/A

Drew resorts to drastic action after Mimi's latest boyfriend moves into the house and begins mooching off of him.

Director: Sam Simon

Writer: John N. Huss

Kellie tries to get Drew and her father to overcome their differences by having them work together to fix up an old house for sale. Mimi turns to Larry's matchmaking service in her quest to find a new man.

Director: Sam Simon

Writer: N/A

Kate hopes to get promoted to wardrobe buyer but Mrs. Louder doesn't think she has enough class for the job. She and Drew organize a salon at his house where everyone can discuss social and political issues. Mrs. Louder pays a visit to the salon and ends up in a heated argument with Kate over Internet censorship.

Director: Gerry Cohen

Writer: Bob Nickman

Kate and Drew prepare to go on their first date. He begins to experience severe stomach pains, which he assumes are the result of stress over Steve and Mimi's upcoming wedding. The pains grow so severe that he has to go to the hospital, and the doctor agrees that the cause is psychological. Kate discovers that Drew feels fine when the wedding is discussed, but cannot handle any mention of their date. She is crushed, and suggests that they back off for a while because she doesn't want to see him in pain. Lewis gives Drew some extra-strong pain pills from DrugCo. He dreams that he has a conversation with his stomach, who tells him that he is subconsciously making himself sick to avoid dating Kate because he is afraid of screwing up the relationship. He advises Drew to just relax. Drew goes to Kate's apartment the next morning. He kisses her and jubilantly announces that he doesn't feel like throwing up. Meanwhile, Mimi and Steve have an interview with her priest as one of the f

Director: Gerry Cohen

Writer: N/A

Mr. Soulard is impressed by Buzz Beer, and offers to buy the company for $40,000. Drew accepts the deal, but his friends refuse to back him. Soulard threatens to fire Drew unless the sale proceeds. Drew offers Lewis and Oswald jobs at the store so that they will not need the money from Buzz Beer. Lewis agrees to take some vacation time from DrugCo and try out the arrangement, but Oswald rejects an offer to work in the lingerie department. Lewis and Drew work on a plan to win over Oswald and Kate, but it goes awry. Oswald gives them his support in exchange for a larger percentage of the sale and a bunny rabbit. After accepting the checks, the gang discovers a sign in the garage that says ""4 Friends, 4 Ever, 4 Beer."" They are all saddened to see their dream come to an end. Drew tells Soulard that they want Buzz Beer back. Soulard demands much more than he paid, meaning that the gang will go into debt and never be able to sell the company again.

Director: N/A

Writer: N/A

Drew gets his car back from the repair shop, but suffers flashbacks to his accident and refuses to drive. Mr. Wick assigns Drew the task of hiring someone to deliver Easter baskets from the store to area children. Drew ignores Wick's objections and hires Oswald, who will enlist the aid of his fellow Global Parcel drivers. Lewis successfully gets the phone number of a woman delivering water to the store. She writes it on his hand, and it gets smeared before he can copy it onto paper. Oswald decides that he will deliver all of the baskets himself so that he can keep all of the money. He takes the baskets down to the basement, and all of the chocolate bunnies melt after he turns up the heat. Drew must find a solution or face repercussions at work. Oswald tries to make new chocolate bunnies, but there is no time for them to harden. They give the kids ""chocolate gravy."" Drew continually makes excuses when the gang tries to get him to use his car for some of the deliveries. He fin

Director: Gerry Cohen

Writer: N/A

Drew and Kellie's new relationship is threatened by their strong political differences.

Director: Bob Koherr

Writer: Mitch Hunter

Drew has trouble getting romantic with Kellie after a photo of the baby puts a lot of very strange ideas in his head.

Director: Bob Koherr

Writer: Russ Woody

Drew meets a woman at the Warsaw who recommends he attend her dating advice service. He agrees only to be publicly embarrassed when the instructor shows a videotape of Drew's date as "a teaching aid". Drew is the laughingstock of the class despite the fact that most of them are career losers who are still virgins. Drew seeks the help of the Better Business Bureau to shut down the advice center but ends up needing class advice when he scores a date with a Bureau employee.

Director: Gerry Cohen

Writer: Clay Graham, Bruce Rasmussen

Doreen, a ""little person"" who works at the store, chooses Mimi as her idol and begins emulating her dress and behavior. Mimi is a little freaked out, but soon takes to the idea and has Doreen help her play pranks on Drew. Sharon takes note of the fact that Kate can get Drew to do whatever she wants without having to make much of an effort. The store's computers fail a test for Y2K compliance, and a glitch causes excerpts from Drew's diary to appear on all the computer screens. A panicked Drew seeks the aid of the store's computer expert, Hal. He convinces Drew that there will be a massive computer failure and total chaos on New Year's Eve. Drew and the gang ask Sharon to build them a bomb shelter. Lewis carries his life savings ($37,000) around in a garbage bag. Mimi and Doreen print out copies of Drew's diary and sell them at the Warsaw. Sharon discovers that in the passage where Drew described sleeping with her for the first time, he accidentally wrote Kate's name. She conc

Director: Gerry Cohen

Writer: Diane Burroughs, Joey Gutierrez

Mimi and Steve cannot get their son to stop crying. He becomes quiet instantly when Drew comes for a visit and interacts with him. Steve becomes ill, and Mimi orders him to leave so that he doesn't infect the baby. He stays at Drew's house, where Oswald and Kate look after him. He convinces the reluctant Drew to stay at his house and help Mimi with the baby until he recovers. The baby will only stop crying when Drew is holding him, and refuses to eat. Much to his horror, Drew must hold the baby while he breast-feeds. He then learns that Steve has strep throat and cannot return for two weeks. Drew finally becomes fed up and says that Mimi and Steve will have to learn to take care of their child on their own. Mimi, disheartened by her inability to bond with the baby, tries to leave him with Drew. When a still-ailing Steve comes over to visit, the baby stops crying after Mimi yells at Steve to get out. Drew concludes that the baby had grown used to Mimi's irascible behavior whi

Director: Sam Simon

Writer: N/A

Mimi's cousin Vanessa comes for a visit. Mimi has always hated Vanessa, but now sucks up to her because she is rich. Vanessa and Drew are named the baby's godparents. However, Mimi declares that Vanessa will be the one to actually raise Gus if anything happens to Mimi and Steve. Steve objects, noting Drew's close bond with his nephew. Lewis and Oswald decide to use the store's new portrait studio to get pictures of themselves as astronauts in the hopes of impressing women. They are angry to find that families get a cheaper rate, as they can't afford the individual prices. Steve asks Drew to babysit Gus while he and Mimi are at the church preparing for the christening. Oswald spills tacos on Gus, so Kate and Drew have to take the outfit to the dry cleaners. Lewis and Oswald borrow the baby so that they can get family portrait prices. Drew and Kate go to the church and try to stall. Drew's parents wrap Oswald's rabbit, Commander Bun-Bun, in a blanket and try to pass him off as

Director: Gerry Cohen

Writer: N/A

Mimi blames Drew after her house burns down, apparently as the result of a gift given to Gus by his uncle. Oswald starts a change machine business.

Director: N/A

Writer: N/A

The gang tries to teach Gus to lie to an insurance adjuster so that Mimi can receive the claim on her house and be able to replace it.

Director: N/A

Writer: N/A

Lewis is depressed due to breaking up with his girlfriend so Drew and Oswald take him to a strip club where he suffers a breast related injury. Drew gets caught lying to his girlfriend about the club when Lewis sues the dancer.

Director: Shelley Jensen

Writer: N/A

Kellie is furious with Drew after he blows off an appointment to see their baby's first sonogram to go drinking with the guys.

Director: Shelley Jensen

Writer: N/A

Drew receives a letter from Steve with a check to help since Mimi lives with him. He wants back with Mimi but she is dating Larry so Drew arranges a meeting. Then a one-night stand Steve had in his world travel arrives and Steve tells Mimi.

Director: Shelley Jensen

Writer: N/A

Drew inadvertently agrees to organize a wedding shower for his ex-girlfriend Lisa when he mistakenly believes the bride is an elderly employee also named Lisa. Lisa's fiancé Trent, according to Drew's new system that ranks employees by performance, is first in line to be fired from the store. Lisa thinks Drew is acting out of spite because he hasn't moved on but Drew insists it's because Trent is a poor employee. Drew talks with Trent and is unnerved when Trent has an epiphany and decides he wants to call off the wedding.

Director: Steve Zuckerman

Writer: N/A

Drew finds out Speedy's hip problem is getting worse but there's hope in a new operation that could restore the dog to his old self. The problem is the operation costs $2700. Nora recommends Drew use his company insurance to pay for it. Winfred-Louder has same-sex health benefits; all Drew would have to do is claim the operation is for his lover. Drew agrees but ends up having to prove he is gay by hiring Oswald to play his lover "Aaron".

Director: N/A

Writer: Diane Burroughs, Joey Gutierrez