When Zippo the ape is accidently inducted into the army the only way to get the army off the hook is to get Bilko as defense council and court martial the ape before anybody finds out

Fed up with losing to Bilko all the time Mess Sgt Ritzik is leaving the army having saved up $400 to open a snack bar So Bilko devises a plan to repay all the money that he has won off Ritzik.

It's family day at Fort Baxter and all the platoon have invited their sister's. They all have date's except Doberman's so Bilko sets out to con Zimmerman into taking her out.

Bilko is still broke and can't find a way back into the big poker game. When the three sergeant's win again, by beating one of the new recruits, Bilko decides to get even by renting an empty store and getting the sergeant's to invest in it

In an eating contest between the platoons Bilko puts his money on a new member of the platoon nicknamed 'The Stomach' only to find that he can only eat when he is depressed

When maneuvers come round again the Colonel is interested in which illness Bilko has in order to miss out on the joys of marching through the countryside. In order to make him go the colonel uses reverse psychology

When Bilko thinks that Joan is trying to trap him into marriage, he takes her to dinner at Sgt Sowici's to see how bad marriage can be, but they are in for a surprise.

During a cold spell the platoon think that they are entering a singing contest which will be held in Florida, but instead they take part in a dangerous medical experiment.

Colonel Hall tells Bilko to provide an audience for a lecture on music. He finds that nobody wants to come until they learn that the lecture will be given by a friend of the Colonel's wife and they can bet on the number of ' twitches' that she will give during the lecture

Bilko looks around for an expert to go on the 64,000 Dollar quiz show on TV. He ends up with Pvt Honnegar who is an expert on wildlife, After surviving a loss of memory he wins the money but he has a surprise in store for Bilko

When a local gangster insults the army Bilko takes a bet of 1000 -1 That the local College Schmill can beat Notra Dame in a football game. Nobody gives them a chance, but when Bilko gets to work on the press they start to believe that Schmill can win.

For once everything goes right for Bilko, from hot showers in the morning, to picking all the winners in a horse race, but by the time he realizes it the day is over.

Bilko discovers that Doberman has a beautiful singing voice but only when he has a cold. So Bilko gets him to make a record, but by then the doctors have cured his cold and his real voice returns.

Bilko discovers that one of the platoon Claude Dillingham is a boxing champ so Bilko enters him for the interplatoon championship only to learn that Dillingham refuses to fight

When Doberman gets a $500 windfall from an insurance policy, he loses it in a poker game with three con men. Bilko gets it back by conning the con men, but then Doberman loses it again by being conned into buying the hotel from another con man

When the platoon lose again in a baseball game Bilko is desperate to find new players. Then a recruit from the south Hank Lumpkin turns up and Bilko can hardly believe his luck, as Lumpkin is a baseball star in the making. Bilko then contrives to have a New York Yankee's scout to 'accidentally' find Lumpkin so he can traded, but as a Southerner Lumpkin doesn't want to play for the Yankee's

Bilko opens a pizza stand,But it burns down with Paparelli and Zimmerman in charge. So he tries again with a cheap hotel but the same thing happens again.

Hollywood plans a film of the ' Battle of Kabuchi' and they hire Bilko as the technical adviser, but after a couple of days he has taken over the whole production, and the film people want shot of him.

After winning 1500 dollars in Las Vegas, Ritzik is desperate to play poker with Bilko, so the Colonel locks him up in the guardhouse for his own protection.

Bilko loses the platoon welfare money on a horse only to find out that it is suffering from a minor leg injury, with the last of the platoon's money he buys the horse and has to keep it on the post until it is fit to run Then a visiting general comes on a surprise visit

After several transfers a young tough guy is moved to the motor pool platoon and it is left to the Bilko to cut him down to size. Meanwhile Bilko is after the ' Soldier of the Month' competition. Little does he know that the tough guy will spring a surprise.

Bilko suspects that there are large deposits of uranium underneath Fort Baxter but he has to get rid of the Colonel before he can start digging

Bilko hopes to get a handsome young recruit noticed by Hollywood so he tries to get the soldier's face on the new army recruiting poster. But first he must pass a test on the army and with Doberman coaching him a surprise is in store.

Unable to sleep Bilko goes to the camp psychiatrist for advice. He is told to give up gambling and women.

Bilko promotes a show starring Bing Crosby, but when Bing suddenly fails to show up, Bilko has to find a lookalike as a replacement.