Sarah becomes an adviser to a local beauty-pageant contestant. She encourages a young girl to enter the pageant in order to fulfill her own childhood dreams. Meanwhile, Steve's behavior in a police car result in unforeseen consequences.

Sarah decides to take an AIDS test to cure her case of the blahs. Meanwhile Jay celebrates his birthday with a party.

Sarah tries to explore her own sexuality. Meanwhile Brain and Steve bicker over a soft drink.

Sarah invites a homeless man into her home to prove she is a caring person. Meanwhile Brian learns karate, but fails to use it in dire straits.

Sarah searches for AA batteries so that she can use her remote to turn off a television benefit for needy children. While on her search, Sarah loses a farting contest and has a sexual encounter with God.

Sarah gets arrested for drinking (cough syrup) and driving. After she is released from jail Sarah discovers the attraction between her sister Laura and the arresting officer. Meanwhile Brian tries to convince his partner Steve that he is bisexual.

Sarah discovers that the community group she joins is a radical anti-abortion group; a game of "Dungeons and Dragons" interferes with Steve and Brian's plans for a date night.

Authorities take Sarah's dog Doug away when she is witnessed licking his hindquarters. Distraught, Sarah goes on a quest to redeem herself.

Sarah strongly believes that it is much easier to be a black person in America than it is to be a Jewish person. To prove her point she decides to become black for a day. Meanwhile, Brian and Steve get carried away smoking medical marijuana.

When their mother's grave is vandalized, Sarah and Laura become contestants on their favorite TV show in hopes of winning enough money to replace the tombstone.

Sarah starts a relationship with God who turns out to be needy and insecure. However, she still hopes to show him off at her upcoming high school reunion. In the mean time, Brian and Steve question the origins of their sexuality.

Sarah fires her maid, Dora, believing that she has stolen her beloved Hamburglar doll. When her life slips into filthy disarray, Sarah goes to Mexico to get her maid back, but Dora has since gained unexpected power.

Sarah gets high for the first time, and leaves herself a voicemail imploring herself to treat her stoned thoughts seriously, and to act on them. Jay has a problem with nocturnal emission.

Sarah discovers her Russian ancestors were raped by Mongolians. Steve's homemade short films get him some popularity with a demographic he'd never thought possible.

Sarah realizes her old friends aren't that much fun, so she decides to look for new ones.

Sarah defends our freedom by running over anyone with a beard.

Sarah has a problem with bedwetting. Well, Actually she's quite good at it.

Sarah joins the rank of the homeless after losing her keys, but seems to like her new status after meeting an old friend who shows her the advantages of living on the streets.

Sarah cannot believe she is pregnant, and it seems to be too much for her to handle.

Sarah discovers that her father is not dead. Brian spends a ridiculous amount of money on a DVD set, then commits to watching it enough times that it will make itself more economical than if he'd rented it. Guest starring Tim Heidecker as Jay's grief counselor.

Brian and Sarah set out to coin the next big word, in hopes it will become part of society's slang terms.

Sarah becomes engaged to Doug.

In an attempt to get Sarah to “man up”, Laura falsely informs her that she was born with both a penis and a vagina. Brian and Steve are haunted by the ghost of Mr. Jenkins.

After Sarah's morning brunch at Romanski's is interrupted by a children's book reading, Sarah goes on a crusade of her own to show how easy it is to make children's books and television. Jay and his "anti-Sarah" support group, square off with Sarah on Real Time with Bill Maher. Laura informs Brian and Steve that their balls have an unpleasant odor.

Sarah sues "Home Alone", the movie, for influencing her to accidentally murder her new neighbor. Her eloquent case about the dangerous influence of entertainment leads her to the position of official censor of Valley Village television. Brian seeks revenge on a bird who repeatedly poos on his head.