The Best Episodes of 'Allo 'Allo!
Every episode of 'Allo 'Allo! ranked from best to worst. Let's dive into the Best Episodes of 'Allo 'Allo!!
The misadventures of hapless cafe owner René Artois and his escapades with the Resistance in occupied France.
Top Episode Highlight
The best episode of "'Allo 'Allo!" is "The Sausage in the Wardrobe", rated 8.6/10 from 270 user votes. It was directed by David Croft, Robin Carr and written by David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd. "The Sausage in the Wardrobe" aired on 12/19/1986 and is rated 0.0 point(s) higher than the second highest rated, "A Winkle in Time".
8.6/10 270 votes#1 - The Sausage in the Wardrobe
Season 3 Episode 3 - Aired 1986-12-19
After Maria is sent to Lieutenant Gruber with the sausage containing the real painting of the Fallen Madonna for copying, she is caught by General von Klinckerhofen, who places the sausage in his wardrobe and helds Maria hostage until his lawn mover engine is returned by the Resistance. Herr Flick, the Colonel and the Captain, and René hears about this and decides to go to the chateau through the secret passages and steal the sausage from under the General's nose, using Helga, Yvette and Lieutenant Gruber as erotical bait.
Director: David Croft, Robin Carr
Writer: David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd
8.6/10 244 votes#2 - A Winkle in Time
Season 9 Episode 6 - Aired 1992-12-14
René and the café staff prepare to welcome the invading British troops.
Director: John B. Hobbs
Writer: Jeremy Lloyd, Paul Adam
8.3/10 258 votes#3 - The Great Un-Escape
Season 3 Episode 6 - Aired 1987-01-09
While the Captain is sitting in the café, herr Flick from the Gestapo is listening when René is talking to London on the wireless. He soon cracks the code surrounding the message with the plan to dig a tunnel from the mortuary to hide the British airmen. But it's soon apparent that the two airmen and Monsieur Alphonse need help with the digging, and the café staff are called in, leaving Madame Fanny and Leclerc in the café. But the Colonel and the Captain follow René, discover the tunnel, and are captured in the prisoner of war camp.
Director: David Croft, Robin Carr
Writer: David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd
8.3/10 194 votes#4 - Watch the Birdie
Season 5 Episode 9 - Aired 1988-10-29
René and his staff prepare the long-distance duck for its vital flight to England.
Director: Susan Belbin
Writer: David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd
8.2/10 309 votes#5 - The Execution
Season 1 Episode 4 - Aired 1984-09-28
Hans mistakes the nitro for gin and accidentally blows up the railway himself! The Germans capture René, Yvette, and the peasant-disguised Colonel and Captain. As Helga, Leclerc, and Edith each attempt to help the gang escape, General Von Klinkerhoffen arrives in town and demands that the only known saboteur be shot. This means René's death by firing squad, with Lieutenant Gruber in charge of the squad!
Director: David Croft
Writer: David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd
8.2/10 305 votes#6 - The Funeral
Season 1 Episode 5 - Aired 1984-10-05
René tries to go back to his normal life after his fake execution, posing as his twin brother, also named René, but the funeral arrangements are difficult when there is no body, Monsieur Leclerc is cheaper than the regular priest and the coffin is filled with anti-tank bombs.
Director: David Croft
Writer: David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd
8.2/10 265 votes#7 - Herr Flick's Revenge
Season 2 Episode 6 - Aired 1985-11-25
After René ran away from the duel with Monsieur Alphonse, he hides. He's rescued by Michelle from the Resistance who smuggles him back into the café dressed as a member of the Resistance, while she explains to Monsieur Alphonse that René is the bravest man in France. But Herr Flick has captured the Colonel and the Captain, and brings in René as well, and torture them unless they reveal where the painting of "The Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies" is hidden. They are rescued by General von Klinkerhoffen. With life back to normal, there's only a matter of getting the British airmen out. As the General imposes a curfew, Michelle's plan is a funeral for Madame Fanny.
Director: David Croft
Writer: David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd
8.2/10 247 votes#8 - Pretty Maids All in a Row
Season 3 Episode 5 - Aired 1987-01-02
After the plot to get the two British airmen out failed, a frustrated René returns to the painting of the Fallen Madonna. He hides it behind an ugly painting in his café which is immediately recognized by General von Klinkerhoffen as a Van Gogh and requisitioned for his office in the chateau. He also requistions the two new maids in Café René – or as they are better known: the two British airmen in disguise. Realizing that the two airmen will be recognized right away, Michelle of the Resistance comes up with another hairbrained scheme of digging a tunnel from Monsieur Alphonse's morgue into the prisoner of war camp and smuggling in the two airmen into the camp.
Director: David Croft, Robin Carr
Writer: David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd
8.2/10 228 votes#9 - The Sausage in the Trousers
Season 4 Episode 5 - Aired 1987-12-05
There is still no batteries for the wireless radio underneath the bed of René's mother in law, so Michelle's newest hairbrained scheme is to have René and Yvette powering the radio with the generator from a bicycle until the stolen batteries from a German midget submarine are delivered. The Lieutenant is finished copying the paintings (The Fallen Madonna and the Van Gogh), and delivers them as sausages. Sausages also comes from Captain Bertorelli (real ones), Monsieur Leclerc (submarine batteries), and Officer Crabtree (explosives), and soon they're all mixed up in the German officers pants.
Director: David Croft
Writer: David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd
8.2/10 194 votes#10 - An Enigma Variation
Season 5 Episode 23 - Aired 1989-02-04
Chaos engulfs René as he attempts to hide the stolen gold. Meanwhile, the Resistance plan to steal the Enigma encoder.
Director: Richard Boden
Writer: David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd
8.1/10 295 votes#11 - The Dance of the Hitler Youth
Season 1 Episode 7 - Aired 1984-10-26
The Colonel's birthday party becomes a perfect opportunity for getting the real painting of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies back from Herr Flick of the Gestapo, and substituting it with the forgery that was made earlier. The plan is to not invite Herr Flick but make sure that he hears about the big Binge – a traditional feast with genuine Bavarian dances featuring girls dressed as the Hitler Youth – so that he will have to come. In the meantime, René and Edith are supposed to walk into the office of Herr Flick and substitute the real with the fake. Of course, they fail – which means that Herr Flick now both has the fake and the original plus a second forgery, which he commissioned on his own in order to have money for his marriage with Helga after the war.
Director: David Croft
Writer: David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd
8.1/10 277 votes#12 - The Policeman Cometh
Season 2 Episode 3 - Aired 1985-11-04
We pick up the action mere moments after the close of the previous episode, as the airmen-filled cow narrowly escape being milked by a German patrol while awaiting the landing of the plane. As they watch disappointedly, the plane does not land, and instead jettisoning two parachutes, one of which yields a new escape package. The other yields Officer Crabtree, sent from "British Ontelligence Headquitters". Disguised as a policeman, he is supposed to blend in. Unfortunately, his French is abominable, getting the vowels wrong as often as not. Meanwhile, the plan to blow up the non-painting-filled knockwurst on its way to Hitler has hit a snag: René can't find anyone to blow up the train.
Director: David Croft
Writer: David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd
8.1/10 261 votes#13 - The Duel
Season 2 Episode 5 - Aired 1985-11-18
René tries to hide from the seconds of Monsieur Alphonse, the undertaker, but in his stead Lieutenant Gruber accepts the duel. However, the Colonel and the Captain want to save René and plans an exercise to "accidentally" kill Monsieur Alphonse. The plan is thwarted by Herr Flick, who has discovered that the sausage that was sent to Berlin containing the painting of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies did not contain any painting – either real or fake. Herr Flick correctly assumes that the Colonel and the Captain stole the painting, and arrests them and cancels the exercise. Now René has to fight the duel on his own, while Yvette and Maria grieve on the sidelines and his wife Edith catches up on the gossip of the week.
Director: David Croft
Writer: David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd
8.1/10 247 votes#14 - The Nicked Knockwurst
Season 3 Episode 1 - Aired 1986-12-05
After the Colonel makes René promise not to hang out with the Resistance anymore, Herr Flick's sausage (containing the forgery of the Fallen Madonna) is kidnapped by the Communist Resistance. The Colonel and the Captain are anxious that it doesn't come out that they have switched the paintings, and order René to come up with the ransom, which Edith gets from Monsieur Alphonse. The ransom is to be left by René and his staff, dressed as German soldiers. But the whole thing is watched by German soldiers dressed as French policemen, the Gestapo dressed as French Resistance girls, and the Colonel and the Captain dressed as trees. And of course, Lieutenant Gruber stumbles upon the meeting, and his dog can't help but chase the sausage.
Director: David Croft
Writer: David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd
8.1/10 191 votes#15 - Flight to Geneva
Season 5 Episode 21 - Aired 1989-01-21
René tries to sneak off to Switzerland with Yvette on the night train.
Director: Richard Boden
Writer: David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd
8.1/10 204 votes#16 - All in Disgeese
Season 5 Episode 26 - Aired 1989-02-25
René is still harbouring the German Enigma machine as well as the four bars of gold he has stolen, two British airmen and the painting of the Cracked Vase with the Big Daisies by Van Gogh. So the café is now full and getting more crowded by the minute.
Director: Richard Boden
Writer: David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd
8.0/10 332 votes#17 - Pigeon Post
Season 1 Episode 2 - Aired 1984-09-14
After the Colonel's and the Captain's uniforms are borrowed by the British airmen, and later burned, they will have to send for replacement uniforms. Supplied by Michelle are carrier pigeons, which madame Edith accidentally cooks and serves to Herr Otto Flick.
Director: David Croft
Writer: David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd
8.0/10 280 votes#18 - Six Big Boobies
Season 2 Episode 1 - Aired 1985-10-21
After the British airmen are gone for good – or so René thinks – there is still the problem of Herr Flick owning all three copies of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies (one original and two fakes), and while Herr Flick kidnaps Lieutenant Gruber (a former art house worker), the Colonel and the Captain start to plan their next move. All the while, René's widow Edith have found René's will, and being the sole beneficiary, goes on a spending spree with René's money to attract better suitors. And the British airmen return as nuns. They are last seen hidden in the piano.
Director: David Croft
Writer: David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd
8.0/10 268 votes#19 - The Wooing of Widow Artois
Season 2 Episode 2 - Aired 1985-10-28
René is caught in a dilemma when he must choose between the women he loves: his waitresses Yvette and Marie, and his wife Edith, who as his widow has all his money. Unfortunately, he cannot bring himself to woo Edith again, so Edith seeks the attention that she can get from other suitors in town.
Director: David Croft
Writer: David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd
8.0/10 266 votes#20 - Swiftly and With Style
Season 2 Episode 4 - Aired 1985-11-11
After failing to destroying the train, which will take the copy of the painting of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies to Hitler, René and the Captain are captured by the Resistance, only to be rescued by Herr Flick. The Colonel and the Captain are afraid that Hitler will understand that the painting is a copy, and prepare to escape to Switzerland. In the meantime, British agent in disguise, officer Crabtree, has a new escape plan for the British airmen.
Director: David Croft
Writer: David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd
8.0/10 239 votes#21 - Gruber Does Some Mincing
Season 3 Episode 2 - Aired 1986-12-12
The sausage containing the painting of the Fallen Madonna, which was taken by Lieutenant Gruber's dog, is minced by the Lieutenant – but fortunately he discovers it first and saves it. At the same time, the missing knockwurst means that Monsieur Alphonse cannot get back the money which he leant to pay the ransom of the kidnapped sausage. The Resistance pays him back with Monsieur Leclerc's badly forged money. But after everything seems to be getting back to normal, the sausage is sent to Lieutenant Gruber to make another copy. Also, Michelle's latest plan to get the British airmen back is by an old plane with the motor from general von Klinkerhoffen's lawn mower.
Director: David Croft, Robin Carr
Writer: David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd
8.0/10 248 votes#22 - Flight of Fancy
Season 3 Episode 4 - Aired 1986-12-26
With René again in the possession of the sausage containing the painting of the Fallen Madonna, the attention turns to getting the two British airmen out of France. Michelle proposes a steam engine tour through Nouvion. Michelle's newest hairbrained scheme of getting the airmen out will of course need 80 meters of suspenders, and it's René's job to get them from every Frenchman in Nouvion. Herr Flick and Helga arrive in his staff car to spy on the show.
Director: David Croft, Robin Carr
Writer: David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd
8.0/10 232 votes#23 - Good Staff Are Hard to Find
Season 4 Episode 3 - Aired 1987-11-21
Since Maria's disappearance, the café needs another waitress, but René and Edith has somewhat different ideas about who should fill the position, but finally Michelle from the Resistance brings tiny Mimi from another cell, to be René's bodyguard. In the meantime, General von Klinkerhoffen gives the Colonel a new assistant, Italian liaison Bertorelli.
Director: David Croft, Martin Dennis
Writer: David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd
8.0/10 228 votes#24 - The Flying Nun
Season 4 Episode 4 - Aired 1987-11-28
The Gestapo suspects that the Colonel and the General are in on a plot to assassinate Hitler, so Herr Flick goes undercover as Private Irma Von Kinkenrotten and plants a somewhat bizarre daffodil-shaped microphone in the Colonel's office, where Gruber and Von Strohm are making plans to get rid of Bertorelli in some way. Meanwhile, as Edith prepares for her wedding, René & Co. must get the aerial for their new radio above the jamming signal of Herr Flick, so they disguise Mimi as a small nun to obtain a box kite which they fly to contact London and request plastic explosive to blow up the safe in the General's chateau to get the British Invasion plans.
Director: David Croft, Martin Dennis
Writer: David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd
8.0/10 216 votes#25 - The Jet-Propelled Mother-in-Law
Season 4 Episode 6 - Aired 1987-12-12
The Germans arrest René, and the Colonel demands an explanation for the knockwursts with explosives in them. After a small lie, René is sent home with around a dozen knockwursts to hang in his kitchen. Meanwhile, the British have sent a spy camera with which the Resistance should be able to photograph the plans for the German invasion of Great Britain, but the camera landed in the vineyard of Monsieur Alphonse's, and since the Germans commandeered the vineyard, the Resistance cannot go and look for the camera. This problem is solved when the General orders every peasant in Nouvion to work on the vineyard, which also leaves room for some assassination attempts on the General's life.
Director: David Croft, Martin Dennis
Writer: David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd