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The Best Episodes of 'Allo 'Allo!

Every episode of 'Allo 'Allo! ranked from best to worst. Let's dive into the Best Episodes of 'Allo 'Allo!!

The Best Episodes of 'Allo 'Allo!

The misadventures of hapless cafe owner René Artois and his escapades with the Resistance in occupied France.

Seasons9

  1. Background image for The Sausage in the Wardrobe
    8.6/10(309 votes)

    #1 - The Sausage in the Wardrobe

    S3:E3

    After Maria is sent to Lieutenant Gruber with the sausage containing the real painting of the Fallen Madonna for copying, she is caught by General Von Klinkerhoffen, who places the sausage in his wardrobe and holds Maria hostage until his motor mower engine is returned by the Resistance. Herr Flick, the Colonel, the Captain and René hear about this and decide to go to the chateau through the secret passage and steal the sausage from under the General's nose, using Helga, Yvette and Lieutenant Gruber as a honey trap.

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  2. Background image for A Winkle in Time
    8.6/10(267 votes)

    #2 - A Winkle in Time

    S9:E6

    René and the café staff prepare to welcome the invading British troops.

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  3. Background image for The Great Un-Escape
    8.3/10(290 votes)

    #3 - The Great Un-Escape

    S3:E6

    While the Captain is sitting in the café, Herr Flick of the Gestapo is listening when René is talking to London on the wireless. He soon cracks the code of the message as the plan to dig a tunnel from the mortuary to hide the British airmen. But it's soon apparent that the two airmen and Monsieur Alphonse need help with the digging, and the café staff are called in, leaving Madame Fanny and Leclerc in the café. But the Colonel and the Captain follow René, discover the tunnel, and are captured in the prisoner-of-war camp.

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  4. Background image for Watch the Birdie
    8.3/10(221 votes)

    #4 - Watch the Birdie

    S5:E9

    René and his staff prepare the long-distance duck for its vital flight to England.

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  5. Background image for The Funeral
    8.2/10(343 votes)

    #5 - The Funeral

    S1:E5

    René tries to go back to his normal life after his fake execution, posing as his twin brother, also named René, but the funeral arrangements are difficult when there is no body. Monsieur Leclerc is cheaper than the regular priest and the coffin is filled with anti-tank bombs.

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  6. Background image for Herr Flick's Revenge
    8.2/10(298 votes)

    #6 - Herr Flick's Revenge

    S2:E6

    Having ran away from the duel with Monsieur Alphonse, René hides. He's rescued by Michelle of the Resistance who smuggles him back into the café dressed as a member of the Resistance, while she explains to Monsieur Alphonse that René is the bravest man in France. But Herr Flick has captured the Colonel and the Captain, and brings in René as well, and threatens to torture them unless they reveal where the painting of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies is hidden. They are rescued by General Von Klinkerhoffen. With life back to normal, there's only the matter of getting the British airmen out. As the General imposes a curfew, Michelle's plan is a funeral for Madame Fanny.

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    The 20 WORST Episodes of 'Allo 'Allo!

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  8. Background image for The Sausage in the Trousers
    8.2/10(254 votes)

    #7 - The Sausage in the Trousers

    S4:E5

    There is still no batteries for the wireless radio underneath the bed of René's mother in law, so Michelle's newest hairbrained scheme is to have René and Yvette powering the radio with the generator from a bicycle until the stolen batteries from a German midget submarine are delivered. The Lieutenant is finished copying the paintings (The Fallen Madonna and the Van Gogh), and delivers them as sausages. Sausages also comes from Captain Bertorelli (real ones), Monsieur Leclerc (submarine batteries), and Officer Crabtree (explosives), and soon they're all mixed up in the German officers pants.

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  9. Background image for An Enigma Variation
    8.2/10(217 votes)

    #8 - An Enigma Variation

    S5:E23

    Chaos engulfs René as he attempts to hide the stolen gold. Meanwhile, the Resistance plan to steal the Enigma encoder.

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  10. Background image for The Execution
    8.1/10(346 votes)

    #9 - The Execution

    S1:E4

    Hans mistakes the nitro for gin and accidentally blows up the railway himself! The Germans capture René, Yvette, and the peasant-disguised Colonel and Captain. As Helga, Leclerc, and Edith each attempt to help the gang escape, General Von Klinkerhoffen arrives in town and demands that the only known saboteur be shot. This means René's death by firing squad, with Lieutenant Gruber in charge of the squad!

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  11. Background image for The Policeman Cometh
    8.1/10(307 votes)

    #10 - The Policeman Cometh

    S2:E3

    We pick up the action mere moments after the close of the previous episode, as the airmen-filled cow narrowly escapes being milked by a German patrol while awaiting the landing of the plane. As they watch in disappointment, the plane does not land, and instead jettisoning two parachutes, one of which yields a new escape package; the other, Officer Crabtree, sent from "British Ontelligence Headquitters". Disguised as a policeman, he is supposed to blend in. Unfortunately, his French is abominable, getting the vowels wrong as often as not. Meanwhile, the plan to blow up the non-painting-filled knockwurst on its way to Hitler has hit a snag: René can't find anyone to blow up the train.

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  12. Background image for The Duel
    8.1/10(293 votes)

    #11 - The Duel

    S2:E5

    René tries to hide from the seconds of Monsieur Alphonse, the undertaker, but in his stead Lieutenant Gruber accepts the duel. However, the Colonel and the Captain want to save René and plan an exercise to "accidentally" kill Monsieur Alphonse. The plan is thwarted by Herr Flick, who has discovered that the sausage that was sent to Berlin containing the painting of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies did not contain any painting – either real or fake. Herr Flick correctly assumes that the Colonel and the Captain stole the painting, and arrests them and cancels the exercise. Now René has to fight the duel on his own, while Yvette and Maria grieve on the sidelines and his wife Edith catches up on the gossip of the week.

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  13. Background image for The Nicked Knockwurst
    8.1/10(283 votes)

    #12 - The Nicked Knockwurst

    S3:E1

    After the Colonel makes René promise not to have further contact with the Resistance, Herr Flick's sausage (containing the forgery of the Fallen Madonna) is stolen by the Communist Resistance. The Colonel and the Captain are anxious that it isn't revealed that they have switched the paintings, and order René to come up with the ransom, which Edith gets from Monsieur Alphonse. The ransom is to be left by René and his staff, dressed as German soldiers. But the whole thing is watched by German soldiers dressed as French policemen, the Gestapo dressed as French Resistance girls, and the Colonel and the Captain dressed as trees. And of course, Lieutenant Gruber stumbles upon the meeting, and his dog can't help but chase the sausage.

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  14. Background image for Pretty Maids All in a Row
    8.1/10(279 votes)

    #13 - Pretty Maids All in a Row

    S3:E5

    After the plot to get the two British airmen out failed, a frustrated René returns to the painting of the Fallen Madonna. He hides it behind an ugly painting in his café which is immediately recognised by General Von Klinkerhoffen as a Van Gogh and requisitioned for his office in the chateau. He also requisitions the two new maids in Café René – or as they are better known: the two British airmen in disguise. Realising that the two airmen will be recognised right away, Michelle of the Resistance comes up with another harebrained scheme of digging a tunnel from Monsieur Alphonse's mortuary into the prisoner-of-war camp and smuggling in the two airmen.

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  15. Background image for All in Disgeese
    8.1/10(228 votes)

    #14 - All in Disgeese

    S5:E26

    René is still harbouring the German Enigma machine as well as the four bars of gold he has stolen, two British airmen and the painting of the Cracked Vase with the Big Daisies by Van Gogh. So the café is now full and getting more crowded by the minute.

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  16. Background image for The Dance of Hitler Youth
    8.0/10(329 votes)

    #15 - The Dance of Hitler Youth

    S1:E7

    The Colonel's birthday party is the perfect opportunity to retrieve the real painting of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies from Herr Flick, and substitute it with the forgery. The plan is to not invite Herr Flick but make sure that he hears about the big binge – a traditional feast with genuine Bavarian dances featuring girls dressed as the Hitler Youth – so that he will have to come. In the meantime, René and Edith are to enter the office of Herr Flick to make the switch. Of course, they fail – which means Herr Flick now has both the fake and the original plus a second forgery, which he commissioned in order to fund his marriage with Helga after the war.

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  17. Background image for The Wooing of Widow Artois
    8.0/10(299 votes)

    #16 - The Wooing of Widow Artois

    S2:E2

    René is caught in a dilemma when he must choose between the women he loves: his waitresses Yvette and Maria, and his wife Edith, who, as his widow, has all his money. Unfortunately, he cannot bring himself to woo Edith again, so Edith seeks the attention that she can get from other suitors in town.

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  18. Background image for Swiftly and With Style
    8.0/10(298 votes)

    #17 - Swiftly and With Style

    S2:E4

    After failing to destroy the train, which will take the copy of the painting of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies to Hitler, René and the Captain are captured by the Resistance, only to be rescued by Herr Flick. The Colonel and the Captain are afraid that Hitler will understand that the painting is a copy, and prepare to escape to Switzerland. In the meantime, British agent in disguise, Officer Crabtree, has a new escape plan for the British airmen.

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  19. Background image for Gruber Does Some Mincing
    8.0/10(272 votes)

    #18 - Gruber Does Some Mincing

    S3:E2

    The sausage containing the painting of the Fallen Madonna, which was taken by Lieutenant Gruber's dog, is minced by the Lieutenant – but fortunately he discovers it first and saves it. At the same time, the missing knockwurst means that Monsieur Alphonse cannot get back the money which he lent to pay the ransom of the stolen sausage. The Resistance pays him back with Monsieur Leclerc's badly forged money. But after everything seems to be getting back to normal, the sausage is sent to Lieutenant Gruber to make another copy. Also, Michelle's latest plan to get the British airmen back is by an old plane with the engine from General Von Klinkerhoffen's motor mower.

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  20. Background image for Flight of Fancy
    8.0/10(281 votes)

    #19 - Flight of Fancy

    S3:E4

    With René again in the possession of the sausage containing the painting of the Fallen Madonna, attention turns to getting the two British airmen out of France. Michelle's newest harebrained scheme of getting the airmen out is a steam engine tour through Nouvion, and will of course require eighty metres of braces, and it's René's job to get them from every Frenchman in Nouvion. Herr Flick and Helga arrive in his staff car to spy on the show.

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  21. Background image for Good Staff Are Hard to Find
    8.0/10(260 votes)

    #20 - Good Staff Are Hard to Find

    S4:E3

    Since Maria's disappearance, the café needs another waitress, but René and Edith has somewhat different ideas about who should fill the position, but finally Michelle from the Resistance brings tiny Mimi from another cell, to be René's bodyguard. In the meantime, General von Klinkerhoffen gives the Colonel a new assistant, Italian liaison Bertorelli.

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  22. Background image for The Flying Nun
    8.0/10(255 votes)

    #21 - The Flying Nun

    S4:E4

    The Gestapo suspects that the Colonel and the General are in on a plot to assassinate Hitler, so Herr Flick goes undercover as Private Irma Von Kinkenrotten and plants a somewhat bizarre daffodil-shaped microphone in the Colonel's office, where Gruber and Von Strohm are making plans to get rid of Bertorelli in some way. Meanwhile, as Edith prepares for her wedding, René & Co. must get the aerial for their new radio above the jamming signal of Herr Flick, so they disguise Mimi as a small nun to obtain a box kite which they fly to contact London and request plastic explosive to blow up the safe in the General's chateau to get the British Invasion plans.

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  23. Background image for The Jet-Propelled Mother-in-Law
    8.0/10(241 votes)

    #22 - The Jet-Propelled Mother-in-Law

    S4:E6

    The Germans arrest René, and the Colonel demands an explanation for the knockwursts with explosives in them. After a small lie, René is sent home with around a dozen knockwursts to hang in his kitchen. Meanwhile, the British have sent a spy camera with which the Resistance should be able to photograph the plans for the German invasion of Great Britain, but the camera landed in the vineyard of Monsieur Alphonse's, and since the Germans commandeered the vineyard, the Resistance cannot go and look for the camera. This problem is solved when the General orders every peasant in Nouvion to work on the vineyard, which also leaves room for some assassination attempts on the General's life.

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  24. Background image for Desperate Doings in the Dungeon
    8.0/10(233 votes)

    #23 - Desperate Doings in the Dungeon

    S5:E1

    Herr Flick is still held in the dungeons, and if he cracks he can divulge that the painting of the Fallen Madonna has been copied. That´s why he must be rescued by Helga, Von Smallhausen, and René - dressed as Himmler. The Colonel and the Lieutenant are ordered by the General to let Herr Flick die in a rescue attempt by the Resistance, but seeing the danger of getting caught in a crossfire, they dress up as Gestapo officers to rescue Herr Flick, only to find René chained up instead.

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  25. Background image for A Marriage of Inconvenience
    8.0/10(218 votes)

    #24 - A Marriage of Inconvenience

    S5:E6

    René's friends rally round to try and save him from his impending marriage to the formidable leader of the Communist Resistance.

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  26. Background image for René - Under an Assumed Nose
    8.0/10(224 votes)

    #25 - René - Under an Assumed Nose

    S5:E10

    Monsieur Leclerc comes to the rescue when orders are given for René to be arrested. René tries to escape using a unique disguise.

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Best Episodes Summary

"The Sausage in the Wardrobe" is the best rated episode of "'Allo 'Allo!". It scored 8.6/10 based on 309 votes. Directed by David Croft, Robin Carr and written by David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd, it aired on 12/19/1986. This episode scored 0.0 points higher than the second highest rated, "A Winkle in Time".