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The Worst Episodes of 'Allo 'Allo!

Every episode of 'Allo 'Allo! ranked from worst to best. Explore the Worst Episodes of 'Allo 'Allo!!

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The misadventures of hapless cafe owner René Artois and his escapades with the Resistance in occupied France.

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  1. #1 Worst Episode
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    'Allo 'Allo! Season 3 Episode 1 - The Nicked Knockwurst
    6.6/10(9 votes)

    #1 - The Nicked Knockwurst

    S3:E1

    After the Colonel makes René promise not to have further contact with the Resistance, Herr Flick's sausage (containing the forgery of the Fallen Madonna) is stolen by the Communist Resistance. The Colonel and the Captain are anxious that it isn't revealed that they have switched the paintings, and order René to come up with the ransom, which Edith gets from Monsieur Alphonse. The ransom is to be left by René and his staff, dressed as German soldiers. But the whole thing is watched by German soldiers dressed as French policemen, the Gestapo dressed as French Resistance girls, and the Colonel and the Captain dressed as trees. And of course, Lieutenant Gruber stumbles upon the meeting, and his dog can't help but chase the sausage.

    Director:David Croft
    Writers:David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd

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  2. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 1 Episode 5 - The Funeral
    6.7/10(9 votes)

    #2 - The Funeral

    S1:E5

    René tries to go back to his normal life after his fake execution, posing as his twin brother, also named René, but the funeral arrangements are difficult when there is no body. Monsieur Leclerc is cheaper than the regular priest and the coffin is filled with anti-tank bombs.

    Director:David Croft
    Writers:David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd

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  3. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 1 Episode 1 - The British 'ave Come
    7.6/10(7 votes)

    #3 - The British 'ave Come

    S1:E1

    The Colonel and the Captain mull over their situation and decide they should probably hand over René and the painting to the Gestapo in order to get rid of Herr Flick. But René convinces them that they could hand over a forged copy of the painting instead (with the assistance of a conveniently-located forger), and gets them to lend their uniforms to the escaping British airmen so they can take the painting to England to be forged. Meanwhile, everyone keeps handing René poison pills "to make it easier", Herr Flick decides his relationship with Helga should include an intimate dinner in Rene's back room, and Hans figures out that putting cheese in one's ears improves the sound of Madame Edith's singing.

    Director:David Croft
    Writers:David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd

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  4. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 5 Episode 18 - Money to Burn
    7.6/10(5 votes)

    #4 - Money to Burn

    S5:E18

    Edith is in a romantic mood, and René is playing the piano.

    Director:Martin Dennis
    Writers:David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd

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  5. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 5 Episode 20 - Land Mines for London
    7.6/10(5 votes)

    #5 - Land Mines for London

    S5:E20

    Not only does René nearly get blown up by an exploding Christmas pudding, he also gets roped into another Resistance plan to smuggle out the British airmen.

    Director:Richard Boden
    Writers:David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd

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  6. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 8 Episode 4 - Awful Wedded Wife
    7.6/10(5 votes)

    #6 - Awful Wedded Wife

    S8:E4

    René has organised a secret wedding with Yvette.

    Director:John B. Hobbs
    Writers:Jeremy Lloyd, Paul Adam

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  7. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 1 Episode 3 - Saville Row to the Rescue
    7.7/10(7 votes)

    #7 - Saville Row to the Rescue

    S1:E3

    The Colonel, the Captain and Herr Flick are all disguised as onion sellers while the German uniforms are being remade by the Jewish tailors of London. Michelle delivers a bottle of nitro-glycerin disguised as a bottle of Bols Gin to hide in the café until they come to fetch it that night to blow up a German railway.

    Director:David Croft
    Writers:David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd

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  8. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 4 Episode 2 - Camp Dance
    7.7/10(6 votes)

    #8 - Camp Dance

    S4:E2

    Dressed as girls from the Folies Bergère, the entire gang (the staff and the Germans) escape from the prisoner-of-war camp, and completely against plans bring the two British airmen with them. Outside again, the Colonel finds that the Captain is missing; only his glasses are found. Herr Flick and Von Smallhousen intercept a message from London and try to send their own, but René catches on and tosses the radio out of the window, which leaves the Resistance without a means to contact London, until Michelle suggests the radio in Lieutenant Gruber's little tank.

    Directors:David Croft, Martin Dennis
    Writers:David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd

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  9. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 4 Episode 4 - The Flying Nun
    7.8/10(6 votes)

    #9 - The Flying Nun

    S4:E4

    The Gestapo suspects that the Colonel and the General are in on a plot to assassinate Hitler, so Herr Flick goes undercover as Private Irma Von Kinkenrotten and plants a somewhat bizarre daffodil-shaped microphone in the Colonel's office, where Gruber and Von Strohm are making plans to get rid of Bertorelli in some way. Meanwhile, as Edith prepares for her wedding, René and company must get the aerial for their new radio above the jamming signal of Herr Flick, so they disguise Mimi as a small nun to obtain a box kite which they fly to contact London and request plastic explosives to blow up the safe in the General's chateau to get the British Invasion plans.

    Directors:David Croft, Martin Dennis
    Writers:David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd

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  10. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 5 Episode 5 - Otherwise Engaged
    7.8/10(5 votes)

    #10 - Otherwise Engaged

    S5:E5

    Denise, the head of the Communist Resistance, who was René's sweetheart in his childhood in Nancy, and who's now determined to marry René. Meanwhile, Edith and the servant girls have to explain to the Lieutenant why his little tank has crashed into the public toilet, and ends up getting Gruber's compassion. René has a difficult time telling Edith that he will marry Denise, since Monsieur Alphonse has asked for Edith's hand, and Yvette has it in her heart to tell Edith that René will marry her instead.

    Director:Martin Dennis
    Writers:David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd

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  11. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 5 Episode 15 - A Duck for Launch
    7.8/10(5 votes)

    #11 - A Duck for Launch

    S5:E15

    René has got rid of the Gestapo's money, next is the secret microfilm, but he is hampered by the Communist Resistance girls in the cupboard.

    Director:Martin Dennis
    Writers:David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd

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  12. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 5 Episode 17 - Going Like a Bomb
    7.8/10(4 votes)

    #12 - Going Like a Bomb

    S5:E17

    Michelle and Crabtree hatch another plot to get the British airmen back to Blighty. Captain Bertorelli has stolen Gestapo money planted on him.

    Director:Martin Dennis
    Writers:David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd

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  13. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 6 Episode 4 - The Nicked Airmen
    7.8/10(5 votes)

    #13 - The Nicked Airmen

    S6:E4

    When the British airmen are arrested paddling a tin bath down the estuary, René and his staff are instructed to rescue them from the chateau in coffins. All goes to plan, until Monsieur Alfonse challenges Monsieur Leclerc to a duel.

    Director:Martin Dennis
    Writers:David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd

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  14. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 7 Episode 2 - An Almighty Bang
    7.8/10(4 votes)

    #14 - An Almighty Bang

    S7:E2

    The Colonel, Gruber and Bertorelli desperately try to stop General Von Flockenstoffen's suicidal plan to kidnap Churchill.

    Director:Sue Longstaff
    Writers:Jeremy Lloyd, Paul Adam

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  15. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 9 Episode 4 - Tarts and Flickers
    7.8/10(4 votes)

    #15 - Tarts and Flickers

    S9:E4

    Herr Flick and Von Smallhausen plan to impersonate Yvette and Mimi to search the cafe.

    Director:John B. Hobbs
    Writers:Jeremy Lloyd, Paul Adam

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  16. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 1 Episode 6 - Red Nick's Colonel
    7.9/10(7 votes)

    #16 - Red Nick's Colonel

    S1:E6

    The Communist Resistance want to make a martyr out of the dead René, and kidnap the Colonel and the Captain at the Captain's birthday party. To make matters worse, they offer them on a platter to René's supposed twin brother, so that he can shoot them.

    Director:David Croft
    Writers:David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd

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  17. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 1 Episode 7 - The Dance of Hitler Youth
    7.9/10(7 votes)

    #17 - The Dance of Hitler Youth

    S1:E7

    The Colonel's birthday party is the perfect opportunity to retrieve the real painting of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies from Herr Flick, and substitute it with the forgery. The plan is to not invite Herr Flick but make sure that he hears about the big binge – a traditional feast with genuine Bavarian dances featuring girls dressed as the Hitler Youth – so that he will have to come. In the meantime, René and Edith are to enter the office of Herr Flick to make the switch. Of course, they fail – which means Herr Flick now has both the fake and the original plus a second forgery, which he commissioned in order to fund his marriage with Helga after the war.

    Director:David Croft
    Writers:David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd

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  18. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 2 Episode 1 - Six Big Boobies
    7.9/10(7 votes)

    #18 - Six Big Boobies

    S2:E1

    After the British airmen are gone for good – or so René thinks – there is still the problem of Herr Flick owning all three copies of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies (the original and two fakes), and while Herr Flick kidnaps Lieutenant Gruber (a former art house worker), the Colonel and the Captain start to plan their next move. All the while, René's widow Edith has found René's will, and being the sole beneficiary, goes on a spending spree with René's money to attract better suitors. And the British airmen return as nuns. They are last seen hidden in the piano.

    Director:David Croft
    Writers:David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd

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  19. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 2 Episode 4 - Swiftly and With Style
    7.9/10(7 votes)

    #19 - Swiftly and With Style

    S2:E4

    After failing to destroy the train, which will take the copy of the painting of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies to Hitler, René and the Captain are captured by the Resistance, only to be rescued by Herr Flick. The Colonel and the Captain are afraid that Hitler will understand that the painting is a copy, and prepare to escape to Switzerland. In the meantime, British agent in disguise, Officer Crabtree, has a new escape plan for the British airmen.

    Director:David Croft
    Writers:David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd

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  20. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 2 Episode 2 - The Wooing of Widow Artois
    8.0/10(7 votes)

    #20 - The Wooing of Widow Artois

    S2:E2

    René is caught in a dilemma when he must choose between the women he loves: his waitresses Yvette and Maria, and his wife Edith, who, as his widow, has all his money. Unfortunately, he cannot bring himself to woo Edith again, so Edith seeks the attention that she can get from other suitors in town.

    Director:David Croft
    Writers:David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd

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  21. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 4 Episode 1 - Prisoners of War
    8.0/10(7 votes)

    #21 - Prisoners of War

    S4:E1

    Having been trapped in the POW camp, René is enlisted in the plan to re-dig the tunnel, by getting rid of the dirt. Von Strohm and Geering are playing cricket, though not very well, and Herr Flick and Von Smallhausen are digging their own tunnel into the camp. Monsieur Alphonse arrives at the café to report to Fanny the news that René has been captured, but René and company join in on the British prisoners' plan to escape – though it will free only one man. Meanwhile, Helga reports the situation to Gruber, and together they devise a plan to rescue the Colonel, the Captain and René - involving Gruber dressing as a nun!

    Directors:David Croft, Martin Dennis
    Writers:David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd

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  22. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 5 Episode 1 - Desperate Doings in the Dungeon
    8.0/10(5 votes)

    #22 - Desperate Doings in the Dungeon

    S5:E1

    Herr Flick is still held in the dungeons, and if he cracks he can divulge that the painting of the Fallen Madonna has been copied. That´s why he must be rescued by Helga, Von Smallhausen, and René - dressed as Himmler. The Colonel and the Lieutenant are ordered by the General to let Herr Flick die in a rescue attempt by the Resistance, but seeing the danger of getting caught in a crossfire, they dress up as Gestapo officers to rescue Herr Flick, only to find René chained up instead.

    Director:David Croft
    Writers:David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd

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  23. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 5 Episode 12 - Who's for the Vatican?
    8.0/10(5 votes)

    #23 - Who's for the Vatican?

    S5:E12

    A medal for bravery, a suicide pill and a hide-out in the Vatican introduce an old habit to René.

    Director:Susan Belbin
    Writers:David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd

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  24. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 5 Episode 13 - Ribbing the Bonk
    8.0/10(5 votes)

    #24 - Ribbing the Bonk

    S5:E13

    René and the Resistance need to find a huge amount of money quickly to save Mimi from the Communists.

    Director:Martin Dennis
    Writers:David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd

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  25. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 5 Episode 14 - The Reluctant Millionaires
    8.0/10(4 votes)

    #25 - The Reluctant Millionaires

    S5:E14

    When it is revealed that the one million francs stolen from the bank belong to Herr Flick of the Gestapo, the best place to hide them seems to be down René's trousers.

    Director:Martin Dennis
    Writers:David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd

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Worst Episodes Summary

"The Nicked Knockwurst" is the worst rated episode of "'Allo 'Allo!". It scored 6.6/10 based on 9 votes. Directed by David Croft and written by David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd, it aired on 12/5/1986. This episode scored 0.1 points lower than the second lowest rated, "The Funeral".