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The Worst Episodes of 'Allo 'Allo!

Every episode of 'Allo 'Allo! ranked from worst to best. Explore the Worst Episodes of 'Allo 'Allo!!

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The misadventures of hapless cafe owner René Artois and his escapades with the Resistance in occupied France.

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Episode Rankings

  1. #1 Worst Episode
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    'Allo 'Allo! Season 7 Episode 1 - A Quiet Honeymoon
    7.5/10(209 votes)

    #1 - A Quiet Honeymoon

    S7:E1

    Newly-weds Fanny and Leclerc are sent to jail by the Germans for flying around in a bed attached to a balloon. Edith decides they have to be rescued - much to René's horror. But her plans are thwarted by a loose bed knob.

    Director:Mike Stephens
    Writers:Jeremy Lloyd, Paul Adam

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  2. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 7 Episode 5 - The Gestapo Ruins a Picnic
    7.6/10(202 votes)

    #2 - The Gestapo Ruins a Picnic

    S7:E5

    The German officers burgle Gestapo headquarters, but find a ghostly apparition has got there before them.

    Director:Mike Stephens
    Writers:Jeremy Lloyd, Paul Adam

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  3. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 7 Episode 7 - Leg It to Spain!
    7.6/10(198 votes)

    #3 - Leg It to Spain!

    S7:E7

    A rescue operation is mounted when the British airmen find themselves trapped in wine barrels in the cellars of the chateau.

    Director:Mike Stephens
    Writers:Jeremy Lloyd, Paul Adam

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  4. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 8 Episode 4 - Awful Wedded Wife
    7.6/10(190 votes)

    #4 - Awful Wedded Wife

    S8:E4

    René has organised a secret wedding with Yvette.

    Director:John B. Hobbs
    Writers:Jeremy Lloyd, Paul Adam

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  5. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 8 Episode 6 - A Fishful of Francs
    7.6/10(196 votes)

    #5 - A Fishful of Francs

    S8:E6

    Michelle's new plan involves an eel, a dogfish, ten million francs and the Fallen Madonna.

    Director:John B. Hobbs
    Writers:Jeremy Lloyd, Paul Adam

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  6. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 9 Episode 1 - Gone with the Windmill
    7.6/10(197 votes)

    #6 - Gone with the Windmill

    S9:E1

    The Colonel and Gruber return from Spain. Meanwhile, Edith is faced with a grave situation.

    Director:John B. Hobbs
    Writers:Jeremy Lloyd, Paul Adam

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  7. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 9 Episode 2 - Missing and Presumed Dead
    7.6/10(199 votes)

    #7 - Missing and Presumed Dead

    S9:E2

    Having been captured by the communists, René tries to find a way to escape.

    Director:John B. Hobbs
    Writers:Jeremy Lloyd, Paul Adam

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  8. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 9 Episode 3 - Rene Artois Is Still Dead
    7.6/10(191 votes)

    #8 - Rene Artois Is Still Dead

    S9:E3

    René is supposed dead and a parade is held in his honour.

    Director:John B. Hobbs
    Writers:Jeremy Lloyd, Paul Adam

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  9. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 9 Episode 4 - Tarts and Flickers
    7.6/10(198 votes)

    #9 - Tarts and Flickers

    S9:E4

    Herr Flick and Von Smallhausen plan to impersonate Yvette and Mimi to search the cafe.

    Director:John B. Hobbs
    Writers:Jeremy Lloyd, Paul Adam

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  10. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 5 Episode 20 - Land Mines for London
    7.7/10(212 votes)

    #10 - Land Mines for London

    S5:E20

    Not only does René nearly get blown up by an exploding Christmas pudding, he also gets roped into another Resistance plan to smuggle out the British airmen.

    Director:Richard Boden
    Writers:David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd

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  11. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 6 Episode 3 - The Nouvion Oars
    7.7/10(206 votes)

    #11 - The Nouvion Oars

    S6:E3

    Private Helga Geerhart plans to marry Herr Flick in order to report his every move to General Von Klinkerhoffe

    Director:Martin Dennis
    Writers:David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd

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  12. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 6 Episode 4 - The Nicked Airmen
    7.7/10(212 votes)

    #12 - The Nicked Airmen

    S6:E4

    When the British airmen are arrested paddling a tin bath down the estuary, René and his staff are instructed to rescue them from the chateau in coffins. All goes to plan, until Monsieur Alfonse challenges Monsieur Leclerc to a duel.

    Director:Martin Dennis
    Writers:David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd

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  13. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 7 Episode 2 - An Almighty Bang
    7.7/10(204 votes)

    #13 - An Almighty Bang

    S7:E2

    The Colonel, Gruber and Bertorelli desperately try to stop General Von Flockenstoffen's suicidal plan to kidnap Churchill.

    Director:Sue Longstaff
    Writers:Jeremy Lloyd, Paul Adam

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  14. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 8 Episode 1 - Arousing Suspicions
    7.7/10(195 votes)

    #14 - Arousing Suspicions

    S8:E1

    René and company disguise themselves as Spanish dancers to recover some radio broadcasts.

    Director:John B. Hobbs
    Writers:Jeremy Lloyd, Paul Adam

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  15. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 8 Episode 2 - A Woman Never Lies
    7.7/10(192 votes)

    #15 - A Woman Never Lies

    S8:E2

    Still searching for the Fallen Madonna, Herr Flick gives Helga a truth drug.

    Director:John B. Hobbs
    Writers:Jeremy Lloyd, Paul Adam

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  16. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 9 Episode 5 - A Fishy Send-Off
    7.7/10(194 votes)

    #16 - A Fishy Send-Off

    S9:E5

    The plans of the Germans conflict with those surrounding Nouvion's Fishmonger's Parade.

    Director:John B. Hobbs
    Writers:Jeremy Lloyd, Paul Adam

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  17. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 4 Episode 1 - Prisoners of War
    7.8/10(263 votes)

    #17 - Prisoners of War

    S4:E1

    Having been trapped in the POW camp, René is enlisted in the plan to re-dig the tunnel, by getting rid of the dirt. Von Strohm and Geering are playing cricket, though not very well, and Herr Flick and Von Smallhausen are digging their own tunnel into the camp. Monsieur Alphonse arrives at the café to report to Fanny the news that René has been captured, but René and company join in on the British prisoners' plan to escape – though it will free only one man. Meanwhile, Helga reports the situation to Gruber, and together they devise a plan to rescue the Colonel, the Captain and René - involving Gruber dressing as a nun!

    Directors:David Croft, Martin Dennis
    Writers:David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd

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  18. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 4 Episode 2 - Camp Dance
    7.8/10(255 votes)

    #18 - Camp Dance

    S4:E2

    Dressed as girls from the Folies Bergère, the entire gang (the staff and the Germans) escape from the prisoner-of-war camp, and completely against plans bring the two British airmen with them. Outside again, the Colonel finds that the Captain is missing; only his glasses are found. Herr Flick and Von Smallhousen intercept a message from London and try to send their own, but René catches on and tosses the radio out of the window, which leaves the Resistance without a means to contact London, until Michelle suggests the radio in Lieutenant Gruber's little tank.

    Directors:David Croft, Martin Dennis
    Writers:David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd

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  19. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 5 Episode 5 - Otherwise Engaged
    7.8/10(221 votes)

    #19 - Otherwise Engaged

    S5:E5

    Denise, the head of the Communist Resistance, who was René's sweetheart in his childhood in Nancy, and who's now determined to marry René. Meanwhile, Edith and the servant girls have to explain to the Lieutenant why his little tank has crashed into the public toilet, and ends up getting Gruber's compassion. René has a difficult time telling Edith that he will marry Denise, since Monsieur Alphonse has asked for Edith's hand, and Yvette has it in her heart to tell Edith that René will marry her instead.

    Director:Martin Dennis
    Writers:David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd

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  20. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 5 Episode 19 - Puddings Can Go Off
    7.8/10(213 votes)

    #20 - Puddings Can Go Off

    S5:E19

    Faced with the problem of hiding 1,000 kilos of stolen high explosive, Michelle of the Resistance decides on a simple but daring course of action. It will be hidden in 500 Christmas puddings.

    Director:Martin Dennis
    Writers:David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd

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  21. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 5 Episode 25 - Down the Drain
    7.8/10(212 votes)

    #21 - Down the Drain

    S5:E25

    René is still hiding the four bars of gold he has stolen and decides it is time he left his dangerous life in Nouvion.

    Director:Richard Boden
    Writers:Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

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  22. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 6 Episode 5 - The Airmen De-Nicked
    7.8/10(203 votes)

    #22 - The Airmen De-Nicked

    S6:E5

    Michelle of the Resistance plans to infiltrate German headquarters to rescue the British airmen using hijacked German uniforms. But who will fit them? Officer Crabtree thinks René's chances are 'farty to one'.

    Director:Martin Dennis
    Writers:David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd

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  23. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 6 Episode 6 - The Crooked Fences
    7.8/10(207 votes)

    #23 - The Crooked Fences

    S6:E6

    Café René is the venue for a clandestine deal involving the solid gold cuckoo clock weight, Van Klomp's portrait of the Fallen Madonna and five anonymous characters wearing paper bags over their heads who answer to the names of Colonel X, Lieutenant X, Captain X, Private X and X.

    Director:Martin Dennis
    Writers:David Croft, Jeremy Lloyd

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  24. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 7 Episode 3 - Fleeing Monks
    7.8/10(201 votes)

    #24 - Fleeing Monks

    S7:E3

    René is to be given a collaboration medal for his help with the removal of Von Flockenstuffen. Unfortunately, this causes the Communist Resistance to place a price on his head. He decides once again to elope with Yvette. Michelle orders René to take the British airmen to the monastery to be picked up by a lightweight plane. Flick also learns of this news, and he and Von Smallhausen have themselves initiated into the brotherhood to gather information and capture the airmen. Unfortunately, René ends up grabbing Edith's hand instead of Yvette's, as the two are rushed aboard the plane bound for England.

    Director:Mike Stephens
    Writers:Jeremy Lloyd, Paul Adam

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  25. 'Allo 'Allo! Season 8 Episode 5 - Firing Squashed
    7.8/10(192 votes)

    #25 - Firing Squashed

    S8:E5

    Herr Flick and Von Smallhausen almost meet their maker in front of a firing squad.

    Director:John B. Hobbs
    Writers:Jeremy Lloyd, Paul Adam

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Worst Episodes Summary

"A Quiet Honeymoon" is the worst rated episode of "'Allo 'Allo!". It scored 7.5/10 based on 209 votes. Directed by Mike Stephens and written by Jeremy Lloyd, Paul Adam, it aired on 1/5/1991. This episode scored 0.1 points lower than the second lowest rated, "The Gestapo Ruins a Picnic".