A quixotic environmentalist faces the high-priced lawyer hired by the chemical plant he's been assaulting.

Harris does some extensive soul searching when he's offered a job on the mayor's security team.

When an anonymous letter identifies a member of the 12th Precinct as a homosexual, it buys the boys a visit from Lieutenant Scanlon, who proceeds to make a witch hunt out of his search for the author. Meanwhile, a disgruntled shopper takes a fire axe to an elevator's MUZAK machine.

A tranquil prisoner claims to be Jesus Christ, which is timely for the drug dealer caught with an impressive stash; an elderly mugger poses as a photographer to ensnare lonely women.

A string of false alarms suggests that a sniper may be after a cop, but the detectives are preoccupied with Barney's posted vacation schedules and the case of a man who won't donate a kidney to his ailing brother.

A visiting monk opts for a quick dalliance with a lady of the streets; Barney discovers to his horror that Dietrich may not be cut out for mugging detail—especially since it must be done in drag.

Harris bristles when he learns that the Burmese chauffeur being booked for a traffic accident is actually an indentured servant.

A bookstore owner is infuriated when a strip club opens near his place of business; and man is convinced that he is on the verge of spontaneous combustion.

Harris' book publication hits a snag when Dietrich refuses to sign a release; a suicide hot line operator becomes suicidal; the clerk that sold Wojo a sick bird changes his strict no-return policy when he learns that the detective is a cop.

A former master criminal becomes a walking zombie following his lobotomy; a man is unable to use the telephone after being mugged because he's Amish. Jeff Corey, who appeared previously as ""The Prisoner,"" was a renowned acting teacher.

A judge provides an attorney with the ultimate over-ruling—a gavel on the noggin; the crimes reported by a lonely woman emanate from daytime television soap operas.

The detectives search for a missing viral strain stolen from a lab; a woman is convinced that her husband is actually a clone.

One man's hands are a musical instrument to himself and a nuisance to others; a detective goes undercover to trap a dentist with wandering instruments.

Weary of an uncooperative populace, a census taker goes to drastic measures to make a head count; beleaguered apartment dwellers band together and capture a burglar.

Vagrant Ray returns to report his fellow bums' disappearances; a woman wishes to have a child with a surrogate and is focusing in on Dietrich and Wojo.

Harris disappears while undercover as a vagrant; Luger elects to be demoted rather than to retire.

A self-proclaimed time traveler tells Harris to fine tune his stock portfolio; Marty's divrorced gentleman friend Mr. Driscoll attempts to reclaim his son by abducting him from the playground.

A disgruntled architect decides to improve on his building—by blowing it up.

The squad tries hypnosis to uncover the name of a felon that Wojo has forgotten; an inventor steals the plans for his own creation.

Barney is down in the dumps when he is passed over again for deputy inspector

When the NYPD restructures its precincts as specialty squads, Luger pulls some strings and gets the 12th assigned as a homicide squad. Business is good; a man murders his barber, and a woman hires a hit man to kill her husband, and then changes her mind.

Harris woos the precinct's crime photographer, while Dietrich tracks down the hit man's intended target; Barney's frustration boils over when the new homicide-only edict results in the death of an old friend.

A drunk and disorderly turns out to be a delegate from the 1976 Democratic convention; Barney discovers a problem with the newly assigned Officer Nash - he's not a cop.

The new detective is convinced that his compatriots are on the take and asks to be dealt out.

Another domestic dispute at the Brauer household occurs when their apartment building becomes ""clothing optional""; Wojo takes a personal interest in the plight of a fellow vet whose crime spree may be a result of the Agent Orange chemical.