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The Best Episodes of Father Ted

Every episode of Father Ted ranked from best to worst. Let's dive into the Best Episodes of Father Ted!

A crazy comedy about three rather strange parish priests exiled to Craggy Island, a remote island off the Irish west coast.

Genre:Comedy
Network:Channel 4

Top Episode Highlight

The best episode of "Father Ted" is "Speed 3", rated 9.1/10 from 895 user votes. It was directed by Graham Linehan and written by Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews. "Speed 3" aired on 3/27/1998 and is rated 0.2 point(s) higher than the second highest rated, "Are You Right There, Father Ted?".

  • Speed 3
    9.1/10 895 votes

    #1 - Speed 3

    Season 3 Episode 3 - Aired 1998-03-27

    Ted and Dougal turn detective to discover who's behind the bumper crop of hairy babies on Craggy Island. However when justice is done on the culprit he takes a terrible revenge. Dougal's moonlighting stint as island milkman is marred by a bomb set to go off if the milk float drops below 4 mph. Does 'The Poseidon Adventure' hold the key to his rescue, or would Father Jack's pet brick come in more useful?

    Director: Graham Linehan

    Writer: Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews

  • Are You Right There, Father Ted?
    8.9/10 700 votes

    #2 - Are You Right There, Father Ted?

    Season 3 Episode 1 - Aired 1998-03-15

    Ted finally escapes to a new posting at Castlelawn Parochial House, Dublin, with civilised company and frequent jaunts to Paris. Unfortunately a slight misunderstanding over some expenses sends Ted back to his old compadres on the island. After a spot of lad's housecleaning results in Ted being mistakenly tarred as a racist, Ted holds a celebration of Chinese culture to clear his name (though 'Kung Fu Fighting' might not have been an inspired choice of soundtrack). Just when it looks like a happy ending might be in store, a mix-up over some soft furnishings and Nazi memorabilia leaves the Chinese community with a sweet'n'sour taste in the mouth.

    Director: Graham Linehan

    Writer: Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews

  • Kicking Bishop Brennan up the Arse
    8.9/10 714 votes

    #3 - Kicking Bishop Brennan up the Arse

    Season 3 Episode 6 - Aired 1998-04-17

    A lost bet with Dick Byrne means Ted has to kick Bishop Brennan up the bum. On cue, Len arrives with PA Father Jessup, the world's most sarcastic priest. Elaborate preparations, a camera, a skirting board, a set of watercolours and some psychological warfare on Ted's part ensure a successful outcome... or do they?

    Director: Graham Linehan

    Writer: Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews

  • Hell
    8.7/10 695 votes

    #4 - Hell

    Season 2 Episode 1 - Aired 1996-03-08

    Ted, Dougal and Jack go on an all-expenses-spared holiday to Kilkelly Caravan Park. They meet a young couple, and are soon in trouble with the police. Entertainment comes in the shape of St Kevin's Stump and the Magic Road. Father Jack goes missing; Father Noel Furlong and his youth group turn up to put the final nail in the coffin of the holiday.

    Director: Declan Lowney

    Writer: Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews

  • A Song for Europe
    8.6/10 686 votes

    #5 - A Song for Europe

    Season 2 Episode 5 - Aired 1996-04-05

    Fathers Ted and Dougal enter A Song For Europe with My Lovely Horse. The tune is stolen from the b-side of a Norwegian song that didn't even win A Song For Norway but the lyrics are all their own work. Somehow they get through to Eurovision and score.... nil points.

    Director: Declan Lowney

    Writer: My Lovely Horse, Neil Hannon, Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews

  • Tentacles of Doom
    8.5/10 602 votes

    #6 - Tentacles of Doom

    Season 2 Episode 3 - Aired 1996-03-21

    The Holy Stone of Clonrichert is to be upgraded to a class 2 relic, and unfortunately this entails three Bishops visiting the island - Father Jack must be housetrained quickly. Only one of the bishops dies - Ted therefore considers this to have been a relatively successful visit.

    Director: Declan Lowney

    Writer: Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews

  • Flight Into Terror
    8.5/10 589 votes

    #7 - Flight Into Terror

    Season 2 Episode 10 - Aired 1996-05-10

    Ted and co. end up crammed in an aeroplane along with every other priest who has appeared in their lives after a visit to the Shrine of Kinlettle. In a usual fit of stupidity, Dougal manages to empty the fuel tanks on the plane. To make matters worse, there are only two parachutes, so Ted devises a way for the priests to compete for the parachutes. Unfortunately, Jack has other plans.

    Director: Declan Lowney

    Writer: Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews

  • The Mainland
    8.5/10 561 votes

    #8 - The Mainland

    Season 3 Episode 4 - Aired 1998-04-03

    A perfectly routine trip to the mainland results in Dougal almost dying from malnutrition, Mrs Doyle being chucked in the clink, Ted nearly being beaten up by Victor Meldrew, and Father Jack joining Alcoholics Anonymous. A chance encounter with old friends Noel Furlong and the St. Luke's Youth Group in some spooky caves spells spelaeological trouble for our heroes.

    Director: Declan Lowney

    Writer: Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews

  • The Plague
    8.3/10 568 votes

    #9 - The Plague

    Season 2 Episode 6 - Aired 1996-04-12

    Rabbit-phobic Bishop Brennan pays a visit to investigate reports of Father Jack sleepwalking naked. Unfortunately Dougal has overrun the house with rabbits, and a Terry & June-style farce ensues as Ted and Dougal attempt to keep Father Jack in bed, and the ever-multiplying rabbits away from the bishop.

    Director: Declan Lowney

    Writer: Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews

  • Cigarettes and Alcohol and Rollerblading
    8.3/10 584 votes

    #10 - Cigarettes and Alcohol and Rollerblading

    Season 2 Episode 8 - Aired 1996-04-26

    Ted and co. enter a giving-things-up-for-Lent contest and soon discover that abstinence is easier preached than done. Father Jack sobers up for the first time in years, but Dougal and Ted find their resolve wavering. To strengthen their vows Ted calls in a nun to supervise them. She turns out to be a sadist of the first water, and the results are inevitable.

    Director: Declan Lowney

    Writer: Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews

  • Night of the Nearly Dead
    8.3/10 562 votes

    #11 - Night of the Nearly Dead

    Season 3 Episode 7 - Aired 1998-04-24

    Jumper-wearing pop sensation Eoin McLove comes to visit. Unfortunately his presence leads hundreds of infatuated middle-aged ladies to surround the house, and the usual hilarious mix-ups ensue. But McLove's easy-going stage persona masks a terrible secret..

    Director: Andy de Emmony, Graham Linehan

    Writer: Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews

  • Going to America
    8.3/10 521 votes

    #12 - Going to America

    Season 3 Episode 8 - Aired 1998-05-01

    Ted performs a genuinely unselfish act, and is rewarded with the offer of a parish in California - his wildest dreams come true. However, parting from his long-time companions at the Parochial House proves tricky. Unless Ted can break the news of his departure tactfully to Dougal, Jack and Mrs Doyle, he won't be going to America...

    Director: Graham Linehan

    Writer: Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews

  • The Passion of Saint Tibulus
    8.2/10 707 votes

    #13 - The Passion of Saint Tibulus

    Season 1 Episode 3 - Aired 1995-05-05

    The local cinema is showing a film condemned by the Church for its X-rated and blasphemous depiction of Saint Tibulus. Bishop Brennan is dispatched to the island to ensure that the priests take to the picket line in protest. But their defiant stand only gives more publicity to the film, which becomes an overnight success. It is left to Father Jack to stop the Bishop from sending them packing.

    Director: Declan Lowney

    Writer: Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews

  • Think Fast, Father Ted
    8.2/10 578 votes

    #14 - Think Fast, Father Ted

    Season 2 Episode 2 - Aired 1996-03-15

    The roof of the Parochial House is leaking, and Ted decides on a raffle to raise the funds, with a car as the prize. Unfortunately, an accident with a cyclist puts something of a dent in the vehicle. A similar car is borrowed from the Dancing Priest in order to save the raffle; however, the priests must then win in order to return the car. Despite this intrigue, the roof does not get repaired.

    Director: Declan Lowney

    Writer: Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews

  • Chirpy Burpy Cheap Sheep
    8.2/10 557 votes

    #15 - Chirpy Burpy Cheap Sheep

    Season 3 Episode 2 - Aired 1998-03-20

    Ted gets mixed up in a web of intrigue and double-cross when he bets the Parochial House heating budget on Chris, the burping sheep. The lads bring Chris to stay at the house in an attempt to improve his chances at 'King of the Sheep 98', but can Ted quell his burping in time for the great day?

    Director: Graham Linehan

    Writer: Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews

  • Escape from Victory
    8.2/10 517 votes

    #16 - Escape from Victory

    Season 3 Episode 5 - Aired 1998-04-10

    It's the All-Priests Over-75s Five-A-Side Football challenge, and disaster looms when Ted's star player is nobbled by a bottle of Dreamy-Sleepy Nighty Snoozy-Snooze. Fortunately a pair of fake rubber arms and a remote-controlled wheelchair put our lads in with a chance of beating Dick Byrne this year. As long as they can fool the referee...

    Director: Declan Lowney

    Writer: Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews

  • Grant Unto Him Eternal Rest
    8.0/10 607 votes

    #17 - Grant Unto Him Eternal Rest

    Season 1 Episode 6 - Aired 1995-05-26

    After an overdose of floor polish, Father Jack finally bites the dust, and Ted and Dougal discover they've been left a fortune in his will...providing they allay his fear of being buried alive by spending a night with him in the crypt.

    Director: Declan Lowney

    Writer: Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews

  • Old Grey Whistle Theft
    8.0/10 581 votes

    #18 - Old Grey Whistle Theft

    Season 2 Episode 4 - Aired 1996-03-29

    Ted goes on a picnic, Mr Benson's whistle is stolen and Dougal learns an important lesson about true friendship. Ted narrowly avoids incriminating himself to save Dougal's worthless hide

    Director: Declan Lowney

    Writer: Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews

  • Competition Time
    7.9/10 641 votes

    #19 - Competition Time

    Season 1 Episode 4 - Aired 1995-05-12

    It's the 'All Priests Stars In Their Eyes Lookalike Competition', and showbusiness personality Henry Sellers, a former alcoholic, has landed on the island to host the festivities. Father Ted is determined not to go as Mother Teresa again, but he isn't the only one to think of Elvis. It takes some quick thinking to beat Father Byrne's team from nearby Rugged Island.

    Director: Declan Lowney

    Writer: Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews

  • New Jack City
    7.9/10 569 votes

    #20 - New Jack City

    Season 2 Episode 9 - Aired 1996-05-03

    After discovering Father Jack is suffering yet again(!) from "hairy hand syndrome," Ted is delighted to send Jack, by "doctor's orders," to St. Clabberts Old Folks Home (otherwise known as 'Jurassic Park'). Unfortunately, Jack's replacement happens to be one of the nastiest priests ever - Father Fintan Stack. Along with his disregard for the church, Stack has a rather irritating habit of playing jungle music loudly at 3 o'clock in the morning, and a plan is hatched to get Jack back to sort out Stack.

    Director: Declan Lowney

    Writer: Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews

  • Good Luck, Father Ted
    7.8/10 823 votes

    #21 - Good Luck, Father Ted

    Season 1 Episode 1 - Aired 1995-04-21

    Ted gets his chance to be on TV when he is to be interviewed by a magazine programme. But 'FunLand', the most pathetic travelling fair ever invented has come to Craggy Island, and while Ted is distracted with Father Jack, Dougal seizes his moment of glory.

    Director: Declan Lowney

    Writer: Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews

  • Entertaining Father Stone
    7.8/10 708 votes

    #22 - Entertaining Father Stone

    Season 1 Episode 2 - Aired 1995-04-28

    The world's most boring priest comes to stay, and he just won't go away. After his worst ever birthday party, Father Ted prays for deliverance from Father Stone, but a lightning strike wasn't what he expected.

    Director: Declan Lowney

    Writer: Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews

  • And God Created Woman
    7.8/10 631 votes

    #23 - And God Created Woman

    Season 1 Episode 5 - Aired 1995-05-19

    A blossoming romance between Father Ted and steamy novelist Polly Clarke threatens to come between a group of visiting nuns and their favourite priest. Among other things, Ted delivers an entire service in a matter of milliseconds, and becomes involved in an armed robbery.

    Director: Declan Lowney

    Writer: Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews

  • Rock a Hula Ted
    7.7/10 540 votes

    #24 - Rock a Hula Ted

    Season 2 Episode 7 - Aired 1996-04-19

    Ted is asked to compere the 'Lovely Girls' competition while Dougal is left in charge of the house. Father Jack is mistaken for Bob Geldof and Dougal manages to give the house away to a feminist rock star called Niamh Connolly. Ted has to get the house back, but how will this affect his dinner plans with the winner of the 'Lovely Girls' competition?

    Director: Declan Lowney

    Writer: Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews