6.7/10252 votesLoading...#1 - Don't Call Me Shirley
Season 1 Episode 4 - Aired 10/19/2011
When Shelia's Shirley Temple doll collection is stolen, Tessa can't help but be amused, until she faces the consequences. Meanwhile, afraid of being burglarized, Dallas and Dalia stay at the Altman's house.
Director: Ken Whittingham
Writer: N/A
6.7/10141 votesLoading...#2 - How to Be a Baby
Season 2 Episode 16 - Aired 3/6/2013
Dalia tries to help Mr. Wolfe recover from his breakup with chef Alan; George and Dallas are caught in the crossfire when Noah becomes convinced that Carmen is the love of his life.
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
6.7/10144 votesLoading...#3 - Eat, Pray, Eat
Season 2 Episode 17 - Aired 3/20/2013
When Dallas fears she will never compare to Alex, George's ex, she seeks solace in Jill Werner -- and carbs; Tessa thinks she has lost her youthful vigor; Noah uncovers a secret about his psychiatrist.
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
6.8/10204 votesLoading...#4 - Poetic Injustice
Season 1 Episode 16 - Aired 2/29/2012
When Fred and Sheila strike up a croquet match with Dallas and George, Fred misreads Sheila's interest in George. Fred tells George that Sheila is fantasizing about him and asks him to seduce her. Meanwhile Tessa desperately wants to impress the new poetry teacher, Ms. Evans, but she seems to prefer Dalia's prose.
Director: N/A
Writer: Andrew Guest
6.8/10192 votesLoading...#5 - The Great Compromise
Season 1 Episode 21 - Aired 5/9/2012
While Tessa tries to adjust to living with Eden, George takes issue with Eden's parenting; Lisa and Malik consider which camp they should attend.
Director: Randall Zisk
Writer: N/A
6.8/10138 votesLoading...#6 - T-Ball & Sympathy
Season 2 Episode 14 - Aired 2/20/2013
Tessa begins dispensing romantic advice—whether people ask for it or not—though her attempt to help Mr. Wolfe doesn’t work out so well. Meanwhile, George helps Dallas coach a T-ball team; and Noah and Dallas still can’t see eye to eye.
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
6.8/10134 votesLoading...#7 - Brown Trembler
Season 2 Episode 18 - Aired 3/27/2013
After Noah's divorce, George offers him and Opus a place to stay until they get back on their feet; Dallas realizes that Dalia is a hoarder; Fred asks Tessa to help him land his dream job.
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
6.9/10209 votesLoading...#8 - The Body
Season 1 Episode 14 - Aired 2/15/2012
When Tessa realizes that she's failing gym class, she decides to run for student body president in hopes of changing Chatswin High's obsession with sports. During the election, Lisa steps in as Tessa's campaign manager against Kenzie and Kaitlyn. Meanwhile, Ryan is injured during a wrestling match and finds himself mourned by his family, and George takes Ryan under his wing and introduces him to people who have moved forward from setbacks.
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
6.9/10187 votesLoading...#9 - Hear No Evil
Season 1 Episode 20 - Aired 5/2/2012
As George and Eden's relationship gets serious, he decides to introduce her to Tessa, who is preoccupied with her job at Crystal Cup of Crystals. Meanwhile, George and Noah make a deal regarding George's relationship boundaries with Eden, and Eden is overwhelmed by Sheila's meddling and the Werners' overprotective behavior.
Director: Peter Lauer
Writer: Andrew Guest
6.9/10153 votesLoading...#10 - Friendship Fish
Season 2 Episode 6 - Aired 11/28/2012
George starts to feel comfortable in the suburbs after Dallas gives him a makeover; while Malik is away for a couple days, Lisa decides to spend every minute with Tessa.
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
6.9/10153 votesLoading...#11 - Yakult Leader
Season 2 Episode 11 - Aired 1/30/2013
When Yakult feels depressed, Dallas asks Yoni (Wilmer Valderrama) for help; the Shays ask Tessa to set Lisa up on a date.
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
6.9/10146 votesLoading...#12 - No Me Gusta, Mami
Season 3 Episode 1 - Aired 1/15/2014
George hopes to rebuild his relationship with Tessa; upset about George and Dallas' breakup, Dalia shuns her mother.
Director: Ken Whittingham
Writer: Emily Kapnek
6.9/10115 votesLoading...#13 - No, You Can't Sit With Us
Season 3 Episode 10 - Aired 4/23/2014
Tessa decides to mentor young social outcast in the Miss Chatswin pageant to make a statement; Victor goes missing while on a camping trip with George, Noah and Fred.
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
7.0/10336 votesLoading...#14 - Charity Case
Season 1 Episode 6 - Aired 11/2/2011
Irritated by all the cafeteria waste at school, Tessa motivates the student body to get involved with giving back. Unfortunately their charity of choice involves helping residents of Florida improve their complexions. When Tessa introduces a homeless transsexual to the student body as part of a lesson, they decide that Tessa is really the person in need. Meanwhile George receives a large dental bill from Noah, which puts a strain on their relationship.
Director: Ken Whittingham
Writer: Adam Barr
7.0/10208 votesLoading...#15 - Independence Day
Season 1 Episode 17 - Aired 3/14/2012
When George picks Tessa up late from school she decides to get a job working for Dallas in order to buy her own wheels. Meanwhile Dallas invites her sorority sisters to stay with her in order to celebrate the opening of her store, A Crystal Cup of Crystals; however her rival sorority sister, Tulsa, decides to crash the party.
Director: Ken Whittingham
Writer: N/A
7.0/10209 votesLoading...#16 - Down Time
Season 1 Episode 18 - Aired 4/11/2012
When Dallas's divorce is finalized, George becomes concerned and includes her in a shopping trip with Noah to buy a new mattress. Meanwhile Dalia makes a breakthrough in therapy with her psychiatrist, Dr. Richard Rohl (James Lipton), Lisa and Malik try to set up Tessa, and Ryan takes Tessa on a date.
Director: Alex Hardcastle
Writer: N/A
7.0/10155 votesLoading...#17 - Black Thai
Season 2 Episode 8 - Aired 1/9/2013
When Dalia receives a new car after PSAT results are released, Tessa becomes obsessed with finding out Dalia's score; Jill and Noah ask Mr. Wolfe to tutor their baby.
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
7.0/10146 votesLoading...#18 - Body Talk
Season 2 Episode 12 - Aired 2/6/2013
Dallas learns that part of her property is in East Chatswin, meaning she gets kicked out of the country club and Dalia must attend a neighboring high school. Meanwhile, Tessa is tapped to produce a Chatswin High TV show called “Teen Talk,” but worries about her new responsibility when Ryan becomes the show’s host.
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
7.0/10139 votesLoading...#19 - Blowtox and Burlap
Season 2 Episode 13 - Aired 2/13/2013
Tessa convinces Ryan to attend an art house movie with her on Valentine's Day; Sheila's mother, Gam Gam causes friction between Fred and Sheila; and when Dallas has a bad reaction to a cosmetic procedure, George has to enjoy an 18-course meal from renowned Chef Julio solo.
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
7.1/10265 votesLoading...#20 - The Chatterer
Season 1 Episode 3 - Aired 10/12/2011
When George joins the PTA, he becomes well-liked by all the moms, which has Shelia (Ana Gasteyer) feeling threatened. Meanwhile, Tessa joins the school newspaper and with some help, turns it into a tabloid-style paper.
Director: Michael Fresco
Writer: N/A
7.1/10243 votesLoading...#21 - Sweet Sixteen
Season 1 Episode 7 - Aired 11/16/2011
When Tessa tells Dallas that she wants a simple get together for her sixteenth birthday, Dallas convinces her to let Dalia plan the ultimate birthday extravaganza at the country club, complete with a live performance by her favorite band, specialty drinks and go-go cages. Meanwhile George throws his back out and Sheila Shay takes it upon herself to care for him, even though George is terrified of her.
Director: Adam Davidson
Writer: N/A
7.1/10230 votesLoading...#22 - The Casino Trip
Season 1 Episode 12 - Aired 1/18/2012
When George wins an all expenses paid trip to Atlantic City, he enlists Noah, Fred, Tom and Alex, and it turns into a getaway with the guys. During their trip they run into Steven Royce (who is supposed to be in Singapore), and they help Fred cope with his gambling problem. Meanwhile Tessa tries to get some alone time with Scott Strauss.
Director: Ken Whittingham
Writer: Andrew Guest
7.1/10209 votesLoading...#23 - Fire with Fire
Season 1 Episode 15 - Aired 2/22/2012
When Jill turns to the newly single Dallas for inspiration and support, her marriage to Noah goes on the rocks. Meanwhile Dallas begins spending a lot of time with her hot younger boyfriend, Yoni, which causes tension with George, and Dalia befriends Lisa to get back at Tessa for dating Scott Strauss -- so Tessa decides to take action and recruits Kimantha to make Dalia jealous.
Director: N/A
Writer: N/A
7.1/10202 votesLoading...#24 - Entering Eden
Season 1 Episode 19 - Aired 4/18/2012
George begins dating Eden (Alicia Silverstone), a woman he met at the town's farmer's market. Tessa helps Dalia find her missing dog.
Director: Gail Mancuso
Writer: N/A
7.1/10191 votesLoading...#25 - Homecoming
Season 2 Episode 1 - Aired 10/17/2012
Tessa returns to Chatswin after spending summer with her grandmother; George finds Tessa's renewed interest in her mother threatening; Tessa signs up for the Fall Follies; Noah and Dallas compete for Carmen.
Director: Ken Whittingham
Writer: N/A
The Worst Episodes of Suburgatory
Every episode of Suburgatory ranked from worst to best. Explore the Worst Episodes of Suburgatory!
Single father George Altman is doing his best to raise his sixteen-year-old daughter Tessa in the big city. When he discovers a box of condoms...
Genre:Comedy
Network:ABC
Worst Episodes Summary
"Don't Call Me Shirley" is the worst rated episode of "Suburgatory". It scored 6.7/10 based on 252 votes. Directed by Ken Whittingham and written by N/A, it aired on 10/19/2011. This episode scored 0.0 points lower than the second lowest rated, "How to Be a Baby".