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The Worst Episodes of Suburgatory

Every episode of Suburgatory ranked from worst to best. Explore the Worst Episodes of Suburgatory!

Single father George Altman is doing his best to raise his sixteen-year-old daughter Tessa in the big city. When he discovers a box of condoms...
Genre:Comedy
Network:ABC

Worst Episodes Summary

"Don't Call Me Shirley" is the worst rated episode of "Suburgatory". It scored 6.7/10 based on 252 votes. Directed by Ken Whittingham and written by N/A, it aired on 10/19/2011. This episode scored 0.0 points lower than the second lowest rated, "How to Be a Baby".

  • Don't Call Me Shirley
    6.7/10252 votes
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    #1 - Don't Call Me Shirley

    Season 1 Episode 4 - Aired 10/19/2011

    When Shelia's Shirley Temple doll collection is stolen, Tessa can't help but be amused, until she faces the consequences. Meanwhile, afraid of being burglarized, Dallas and Dalia stay at the Altman's house.

    Director: Ken Whittingham

    Writer: N/A

  • How to Be a Baby
    6.7/10141 votes
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    #2 - How to Be a Baby

    Season 2 Episode 16 - Aired 3/6/2013

    Dalia tries to help Mr. Wolfe recover from his breakup with chef Alan; George and Dallas are caught in the crossfire when Noah becomes convinced that Carmen is the love of his life.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • Eat, Pray, Eat
    6.7/10144 votes
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    #3 - Eat, Pray, Eat

    Season 2 Episode 17 - Aired 3/20/2013

    When Dallas fears she will never compare to Alex, George's ex, she seeks solace in Jill Werner -- and carbs; Tessa thinks she has lost her youthful vigor; Noah uncovers a secret about his psychiatrist.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • Poetic Injustice
    6.8/10204 votes
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    #4 - Poetic Injustice

    Season 1 Episode 16 - Aired 2/29/2012

    When Fred and Sheila strike up a croquet match with Dallas and George, Fred misreads Sheila's interest in George. Fred tells George that Sheila is fantasizing about him and asks him to seduce her. Meanwhile Tessa desperately wants to impress the new poetry teacher, Ms. Evans, but she seems to prefer Dalia's prose.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: Andrew Guest

  • The Great Compromise
    6.8/10192 votes
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    #5 - The Great Compromise

    Season 1 Episode 21 - Aired 5/9/2012

    While Tessa tries to adjust to living with Eden, George takes issue with Eden's parenting; Lisa and Malik consider which camp they should attend.

    Director: Randall Zisk

    Writer: N/A

  • T-Ball & Sympathy
    6.8/10138 votes
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    #6 - T-Ball & Sympathy

    Season 2 Episode 14 - Aired 2/20/2013

    Tessa begins dispensing romantic advice—whether people ask for it or not—though her attempt to help Mr. Wolfe doesn’t work out so well. Meanwhile, George helps Dallas coach a T-ball team; and Noah and Dallas still can’t see eye to eye.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • Brown Trembler
    6.8/10134 votes
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    #7 - Brown Trembler

    Season 2 Episode 18 - Aired 3/27/2013

    After Noah's divorce, George offers him and Opus a place to stay until they get back on their feet; Dallas realizes that Dalia is a hoarder; Fred asks Tessa to help him land his dream job.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • The Body
    6.9/10209 votes
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    #8 - The Body

    Season 1 Episode 14 - Aired 2/15/2012

    When Tessa realizes that she's failing gym class, she decides to run for student body president in hopes of changing Chatswin High's obsession with sports. During the election, Lisa steps in as Tessa's campaign manager against Kenzie and Kaitlyn. Meanwhile, Ryan is injured during a wrestling match and finds himself mourned by his family, and George takes Ryan under his wing and introduces him to people who have moved forward from setbacks.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • Hear No Evil
    6.9/10187 votes
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    #9 - Hear No Evil

    Season 1 Episode 20 - Aired 5/2/2012

    As George and Eden's relationship gets serious, he decides to introduce her to Tessa, who is preoccupied with her job at Crystal Cup of Crystals. Meanwhile, George and Noah make a deal regarding George's relationship boundaries with Eden, and Eden is overwhelmed by Sheila's meddling and the Werners' overprotective behavior.

    Director: Peter Lauer

    Writer: Andrew Guest

  • Friendship Fish
    6.9/10153 votes
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    #10 - Friendship Fish

    Season 2 Episode 6 - Aired 11/28/2012

    George starts to feel comfortable in the suburbs after Dallas gives him a makeover; while Malik is away for a couple days, Lisa decides to spend every minute with Tessa.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • Yakult Leader
    6.9/10153 votes
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    #11 - Yakult Leader

    Season 2 Episode 11 - Aired 1/30/2013

    When Yakult feels depressed, Dallas asks Yoni (Wilmer Valderrama) for help; the Shays ask Tessa to set Lisa up on a date.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • No Me Gusta, Mami
    6.9/10146 votes
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    #12 - No Me Gusta, Mami

    Season 3 Episode 1 - Aired 1/15/2014

    George hopes to rebuild his relationship with Tessa; upset about George and Dallas' breakup, Dalia shuns her mother.

    Director: Ken Whittingham

    Writer: Emily Kapnek

  • No, You Can't Sit With Us
    6.9/10115 votes
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    #13 - No, You Can't Sit With Us

    Season 3 Episode 10 - Aired 4/23/2014

    Tessa decides to mentor young social outcast in the Miss Chatswin pageant to make a statement; Victor goes missing while on a camping trip with George, Noah and Fred.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • Charity Case
    7.0/10336 votes
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    #14 - Charity Case

    Season 1 Episode 6 - Aired 11/2/2011

    Irritated by all the cafeteria waste at school, Tessa motivates the student body to get involved with giving back. Unfortunately their charity of choice involves helping residents of Florida improve their complexions. When Tessa introduces a homeless transsexual to the student body as part of a lesson, they decide that Tessa is really the person in need. Meanwhile George receives a large dental bill from Noah, which puts a strain on their relationship.

    Director: Ken Whittingham

    Writer: Adam Barr

  • Independence Day
    7.0/10208 votes
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    #15 - Independence Day

    Season 1 Episode 17 - Aired 3/14/2012

    When George picks Tessa up late from school she decides to get a job working for Dallas in order to buy her own wheels. Meanwhile Dallas invites her sorority sisters to stay with her in order to celebrate the opening of her store, A Crystal Cup of Crystals; however her rival sorority sister, Tulsa, decides to crash the party.

    Director: Ken Whittingham

    Writer: N/A

  • Down Time
    7.0/10209 votes
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    #16 - Down Time

    Season 1 Episode 18 - Aired 4/11/2012

    When Dallas's divorce is finalized, George becomes concerned and includes her in a shopping trip with Noah to buy a new mattress. Meanwhile Dalia makes a breakthrough in therapy with her psychiatrist, Dr. Richard Rohl (James Lipton), Lisa and Malik try to set up Tessa, and Ryan takes Tessa on a date.

    Director: Alex Hardcastle

    Writer: N/A

  • Black Thai
    7.0/10155 votes
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    #17 - Black Thai

    Season 2 Episode 8 - Aired 1/9/2013

    When Dalia receives a new car after PSAT results are released, Tessa becomes obsessed with finding out Dalia's score; Jill and Noah ask Mr. Wolfe to tutor their baby.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • Body Talk
    7.0/10146 votes
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    #18 - Body Talk

    Season 2 Episode 12 - Aired 2/6/2013

    Dallas learns that part of her property is in East Chatswin, meaning she gets kicked out of the country club and Dalia must attend a neighboring high school. Meanwhile, Tessa is tapped to produce a Chatswin High TV show called “Teen Talk,” but worries about her new responsibility when Ryan becomes the show’s host.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • Blowtox and Burlap
    7.0/10139 votes
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    #19 - Blowtox and Burlap

    Season 2 Episode 13 - Aired 2/13/2013

    Tessa convinces Ryan to attend an art house movie with her on Valentine's Day; Sheila's mother, Gam Gam causes friction between Fred and Sheila; and when Dallas has a bad reaction to a cosmetic procedure, George has to enjoy an 18-course meal from renowned Chef Julio solo.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • The Chatterer
    7.1/10265 votes
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    #20 - The Chatterer

    Season 1 Episode 3 - Aired 10/12/2011

    When George joins the PTA, he becomes well-liked by all the moms, which has Shelia (Ana Gasteyer) feeling threatened. Meanwhile, Tessa joins the school newspaper and with some help, turns it into a tabloid-style paper.

    Director: Michael Fresco

    Writer: N/A

  • Sweet Sixteen
    7.1/10243 votes
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    #21 - Sweet Sixteen

    Season 1 Episode 7 - Aired 11/16/2011

    When Tessa tells Dallas that she wants a simple get together for her sixteenth birthday, Dallas convinces her to let Dalia plan the ultimate birthday extravaganza at the country club, complete with a live performance by her favorite band, specialty drinks and go-go cages. Meanwhile George throws his back out and Sheila Shay takes it upon herself to care for him, even though George is terrified of her.

    Director: Adam Davidson

    Writer: N/A

  • The Casino Trip
    7.1/10230 votes
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    #22 - The Casino Trip

    Season 1 Episode 12 - Aired 1/18/2012

    When George wins an all expenses paid trip to Atlantic City, he enlists Noah, Fred, Tom and Alex, and it turns into a getaway with the guys. During their trip they run into Steven Royce (who is supposed to be in Singapore), and they help Fred cope with his gambling problem. Meanwhile Tessa tries to get some alone time with Scott Strauss.

    Director: Ken Whittingham

    Writer: Andrew Guest

  • Fire with Fire
    7.1/10209 votes
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    #23 - Fire with Fire

    Season 1 Episode 15 - Aired 2/22/2012

    When Jill turns to the newly single Dallas for inspiration and support, her marriage to Noah goes on the rocks. Meanwhile Dallas begins spending a lot of time with her hot younger boyfriend, Yoni, which causes tension with George, and Dalia befriends Lisa to get back at Tessa for dating Scott Strauss -- so Tessa decides to take action and recruits Kimantha to make Dalia jealous.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • Entering Eden
    7.1/10202 votes
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    #24 - Entering Eden

    Season 1 Episode 19 - Aired 4/18/2012

    George begins dating Eden (Alicia Silverstone), a woman he met at the town's farmer's market. Tessa helps Dalia find her missing dog.

    Director: Gail Mancuso

    Writer: N/A

  • Homecoming
    7.1/10191 votes
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    #25 - Homecoming

    Season 2 Episode 1 - Aired 10/17/2012

    Tessa returns to Chatswin after spending summer with her grandmother; George finds Tessa's renewed interest in her mother threatening; Tessa signs up for the Fall Follies; Noah and Dallas compete for Carmen.

    Director: Ken Whittingham

    Writer: N/A