Season 1

• 

  N/A/100 votes

  Moving Out

  Season 1 Episode 1 - Aired 1/31/2010

  I get a new place. Ash looks totes fugly - ugh - I mean tired in this one. Wardrobe provided by Donna Karen.

  Director: Unknown

  Writer: Unknown

• 

  N/A/100 votes

  Moving Day

  Season 1 Episode 2 - Aired 1/31/2010

  My bodyguard is responsible for everything related to my body, including moving the stuff I surround my body with.

  Director: Unknown

  Writer: Unknown

• 

  N/A/100 votes

  Bodyguard

  Season 1 Episode 3 - Aired 1/31/2010

  Got legit sick filming this. Didn’t sleep for 48 hrs. Not cuz of drugs, you haters, b/c I’m an effing method actor.

  Director: Unknown

  Writer: Unknown

• 

  N/A/100 votes

  Baby

  Season 1 Episode 4 - Aired 1/31/2010

  I consider getting a baby. At least I think that’s what happens. It’s been a while since I read the script.

  Director: Unknown

  Writer: Unknown

• 

  N/A/100 votes

  Baby Daddy

  Season 1 Episode 5 - Aired 2/8/2010

  Bodyguard flat out refuses to be my daddy baby, so I flat out threaten to steal his sperm.

  Director: Unknown

  Writer: Unknown

• 

  N/A/100 votes

  Depressed

  Season 1 Episode 6 - Aired 3/1/2010

  I’m tired of waiting around for that special someone to have a baby for me.

  Director: Unknown

  Writer: Unknown

• 

  N/A/100 votes

  Hangover

  Season 1 Episode 7 - Aired 3/1/2010

  I learn never to drive drunk. Especially when driving a blimp.

  Director: Unknown

  Writer: Unknown

• 

  N/A/100 votes

  Fight

  Season 1 Episode 8 - Aired 3/1/2010

  I know to get emotional when the piano music kicks in.

  Director: Unknown

  Writer: Unknown

• 

  N/A/100 votes

  Philip Seymour Hoffman

  Season 1 Episode 9 - Aired 3/13/2010

  I get acting lessons from the Academy Award-winning creep-o.

  Director: Unknown

  Writer: Unknown

• 

  N/A/100 votes

  Cat

  Season 1 Episode 10 - Aired 4/4/2010

  I decide to get a cat rather than have a baby because it’s more expensive.

  Director: Unknown

  Writer: Unknown

• 

  N/A/100 votes

  Back to School

  Season 1 Episode 11 - Aired 4/4/2010

  I’m going back to college to get my The Bachelor degree.

  Director: Unknown

  Writer: Unknown

• 

  N/A/100 votes

  Extension

  Season 1 Episode 12 - Aired 4/11/2010

  Can I have an extension on that paper I have to write? I have to learn how to write.

  Director: Unknown

  Writer: Unknown

• 

  N/A/100 votes

  Paper

  Season 1 Episode 13 - Aired 4/11/2010

  I ended up getting an “F” for “F”-ort.

  Director: Unknown

  Writer: Unknown

• 

  N/A/100 votes

  Crush

  Season 1 Episode 14 - Aired 4/18/2010

  It’s just a little crush and I throw up a little every time they touch.

  Director: Unknown

  Writer: Unknown

• 

  N/A/100 votes

  Ashleyguard

  Season 1 Episode 15 - Aired 4/18/2010

  But Ashley doesn’t have nipple hair!

  Director: Unknown

  Writer: Unknown

• 

  N/A/100 votes

  Nightmare

  Season 1 Episode 16 - Aired 4/26/2010

  Quiet, Evil Dragon, I’m trying to write a description!

  Director: Unknown

  Writer: Unknown

• 

  N/A/100 votes

  Zac Efron

  Season 1 Episode 17 - Aired 4/29/2010

  A date with Zac Efron? Zac Ef yes!

  Director: Unknown

  Writer: Unknown

• 

  N/A/100 votes

  Philip Seymour Hoffman 2

  Season 1 Episode 18 - Aired 5/3/2010

  Is this about all those blimps I crashed? Because I keep telling you guys, I don’t care.

  Director: Unknown

  Writer: Unknown

• 

  N/A/100 votes

  Gun

  Season 1 Episode 19 - Aired 5/3/2010

  Do you feel lucky, Bodyguard? Are you a Luckyguard?

  Director: Unknown

  Writer: Unknown