Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house… I was shuffling around chain smoking and trying on different shoes.

Santa

Elaine Carroll

Presentation 4

Jetlag

I can’t raise my hand. I’m allergic to effort.

Raise Your Hand

Magazines are sooo heavy. Especially the ones with pictures of fat people.

Magazines

War – what is it good for? Cute uniforms.

Jewish Looking Girl

It’s freezing cold under all these layers.

Layers

Sing along! Actually no, just find my phone.

Call My Phone

Trenta

It’s always the bodyguard you least suspect.

Evil Dragon

I fought the law and the law was a jerk face.

Police

Mug Shot

Mary-Kate deals with life in the slammer.

Jail

Mary-Kate loves shiny appliances! And by that she means sweaty laborers.

Dishwasher

Mary-Kate and Bodyguard may have effed up and effed.

Pillow Talk

Butler stays abreast of Maggie Smith’s love life.

Sex and Sexuality (Very Maggie Smith)

Mary-Kate goes to sleep to the soothing sounds of a yelling professor.

Sleeping in Class

Mary-Kate sabotages Professor in front of the school board.

Professor’s Presentation

First one to fall asleep gets a hand in warm Pellegrino.

Slumber Party

Take once per day with a picture of food.

Pills

Mary-Kate’s cat meows out against drugs.

Comet

Mary-Kate challenges Bodyguard to some 1am Pictionary.

Draw Something

When Maggie Smith’s teacup goes handle-less, everyone’s a suspect.

The Case of the Cracked Cup (Very Maggie Smith 2)

Mary-Kate gets lost indoors and has to crack out her survival skills.

Summer House

The unofficial celebrity biography of Mary-Kate Olsen, brought to spoiled rotten life by Elaine Carroll. Featuring Bodyguard, Fat Professor, and obscene wealth.

Santa

Seasons4

Season 3 Episodes24

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