Hayley and Jeff take a staycation at a nearby luxury resort, while the CIA is forced to rebrand.

When Steve gives the family better Christmas gifts than Stan, Stan goes to great lengths to regain his title of "King of Presents."

Stan is ecstatic--and energetic--when a coworker gives him pills that allow him to stay up all night.

A mold of Francine's vagina is displayed in a museum.

Upset that Hayley no longer wants his advice, Stan decides to prove that she is missing out on his sage counseling. After meeting a stripper on an important CIA mission, Stan takes it upon himself to improve her life and show Hayley that his advice works. But when he opens a new business, hoping to prove Hayley wrong, he finds himself dancing for cash to cover up his failures.

Suspicious about Hayley's mysterious, newfound wealth, Francine decides to get to the bottom of it. Roger sets out to make Stan an internet celebrity.

When Stan enters an essay contest to have his personal hero, President Bush, come over for dinner, he is overcome with joy when the President arrives at his doorstep. However, not everyone in the Smith family shares Stan's excitement. Hayley tries to drill President Bush on the Iraq war, and Steve and Roger attempt to convince him that they've found Osama Bin Laden, but instead get him drunk. Stan tries to save the President from public humiliation, while Hayley revels in his fall from glory.

When Stan catches Steve playing imaginary games with his toys, he decides to take his son down to Mexico to help him become a man. But the trip takes a turn for the worse when Stan and Steve are kidnapped by a drug cartel, and it’s up to Steve to break himself and Stan out of captivity.

It's Halloween night and Stan is missing, so the Smith gang heads to the spooky, abandoned CIA headquarters to investigate.

When Stan tries to trick Steve into attending summer camp, things go horribly wrong and Steve ends up in a refugee camp. However, Stan, being the eternal optimist, joins Steve and manages to stage a camp Olympics between the refugees and the rebel faction living across the river.

It's Roger's 1600th birthday, but the Smiths are too freaked out by Steve's impending puberty to celebrate. So Roger decides to make his own birthday fun.

Everyone is separated after the ship explodes: Stan and Francine lose their memories and resort to primitive living on an island; Hayley and Jeff are rescued by the Navy and Jeff decides to enlist; and Roger and Steve try to survive on a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean.

Stan loses his confidence, and his job, when a car salesman gets the best of him in a negotiation. Meanwhile, Roger and Steve set up a makeshift drive-in to try to get to first base with popular schoolgirls.

Roger declares that he was sent to Earth to be "the decider" of humanity's fate, and Stan challenges him on it.

Francine and Stan compare parenting skills after Stan creates a clone of Steve; Roger searches for the missing bride and groom.

When Roger has his famous Christmas sex party stolen from him the results are... monstrous. Stan creates a magazine for men.

When Langley Falls bans trans fats, Stan and Steve become smugglers. Meanwhile, Klaus gets word that he has received an inheritance but can't collect it because the CIA has turned him into a fish.

A talk show reveals that Francine was the toddler who, famously, was rescued from a well by a firefighter; Francine makes a discovery when she falls down the well on the anniversary of her rescue; Stan and Roger come up with a business idea.

Roger is forced to confront himself after a series of accidents. Klaus and Jeff bond.

When Jeff finds out that the family thinks he makes terrible decisions, he decides to take a job selling stretchy leggings to prove them wrong.

In an attempt to maintain his "prime," Stan explores some cosmetic solutions that could not go worse.

Hayley makes Jeff get a friend to add some mystery to their relationship but gets more mystery than she bargained for. Francine attempts to grow the world's longest fingernails.

The Smiths get new neighbors! Meanwhile, Roger dreads having to be a little boy's kite for a day.

Francine becomes an overnight sensation when a famous art dealer discovers her homemade pottery.

To have a chance with a girl, Steve and Snot must track down a keg of 4Loko.