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The Best Episodes of Family Guy Season 12

Every episode of Family Guy Season 12 ranked from best to worst. Discover the Best Episodes of Family Guy Season 12!

The Best Episodes of Family Guy Season 12

Sick, twisted, politically incorrect and Freakin' Sweet animated series featuring the adventures of the dysfunctional Griffin family. Bumbling Peter and long-suffering Lois have three kids....

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  1. 7.6/10(2.2k votes)

    #1 - Christmas Guy

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    S12:E8

    When Carter Pewterschmidt cancels the annual Quahog Christmas carnival, because he hates the holiday, Peter must transform his father-in-law from a Scrooge into a hometown hero in order to salvage the event. Meanwhile, Stewie devises a master plan to get the one and only thing he wants for Christmas.

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  2. 7.1/10(1.8k votes)

    #2 - Quagmire's Quagmire

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    S12:E3

    Quagmire dates a woman named Sonja, who is just as sexually active as he is, but things take a turn for the worse when she kidnaps him to be her sex slave, so Peter, Joe and Ida must search the seedy back alleys of Quahog to rescue him. In the meantime, Brian, Stewie and Rupert get involved in a most unusual love triangle.

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  3. 7.1/10(1.4k votes)

    #3 - Meg Stinks!

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    S12:E19

    Meg has fun partying with Peter when he takes her to a college for an interview. Brian must learn how to live in the wild when he gets sprayed by a skunk and is prohibited from entering the house.

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    Director:Bob Bowen
  4. 7.1/10(1.4k votes)

    #4 - He's Bla-ack!

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    S12:E20

    Cleveland returns to town, but is instantly banned from spending time with Peter when Lois and Donna get into a big fight over parenting.

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  5. 7.0/10(1.7k votes)

    #5 - Grimm Job

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    S12:E10

    From Grimm to Griffin, three classic fairy tales get a new Quahog spin, including "Jack and the Beanstalk," "Little Red Riding Hood" and "Cinderella."

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    Director:Joe Vaux
  6. 7.0/10(1.4k votes)

    #6 - Chap Stewie

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    S12:E21

    When Peter and Chris interrupt Stewie’s TV time, the angry baby goes back in time to break up Peter and Lois so he’s never conceived, but is shocked when he is reborn into a “Downton Abbey”-esque British household.

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  8. 6.9/10(1.9k votes)

    #7 - Finders Keepers

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    S12:E1

    Peter is convinced that a restaurant placemat is a treasure map. Word quickly spreads about the alleged cache, sparking a city-wide search and turning the citizens of Quahog against each other.

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  9. 6.9/10(1.5k votes)

    #8 - The Most Interesting Man in the World

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    S12:E17

    When Peter takes Stewie to the park for some quality father-son time, he mistakenly takes the wrong baby home, prompting Lois to call him an idiot. Determined to prove to her that he's a responsible adult, Peter goes on a business trip to Chicago and returns as an intelligent, classy person.

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    Director:Joseph Lee
  10. 6.8/10(1.4k votes)

    #9 - Secondhand Spoke

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    S12:E15

    Peter takes up smoking cigarettes, and is approached by Mr. Stone, an advertising executive who wants Peter to be the face of his anti-smoking campaign under the caveat that Peter continues to smoke. Meanwhile, Stewie helps Chris battle bullies at school.

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  11. 6.7/10(1.8k votes)

    #10 - A Fistful of Meg

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    S12:E4

    When Meg spills her lunch on the new kid at school, he makes plans to end her. Meanwhile, Peter keeps harassing Brian in the nude until it reaches the breaking point.

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  12. 6.7/10(1.5k votes)

    #11 - Baby Got Black

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    S12:E18

    Chris is forbidden to see Jerome's daughter Pam, so when the kids run away together, Jerome and Peter must work together to find them.

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  13. 6.6/10(1.6k votes)

    #12 - Peter Problems

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    S12:E9

    When Peter gets fired for crashing a forklift into a business meeting, Lois takes a job at the grocery store while Peter becomes a stay-at-home dad — which leads to poor bedroom performance.

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    Director:Bob Bowen
  14. 6.5/10(1.7k votes)

    #13 - Boopa-Dee Bappa-Dee

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    S12:E5

    The Griffins go to Italy and are faced with annoying immigration laws after Peter destroys their passports.

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    Director:Mike Kim
  15. 6.5/10(2.1k votes)

    #14 - Into Harmony's Way

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    S12:E7

    When Peter and Quagmire discover that their singing voices create beautiful harmony together, they form a singing/songwriting team, in the vein of Simon and Garfunkel. However, tensions run high when fame gets to Peter’s head.

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    Director:Brian Iles
  16. 6.5/10(1.5k votes)

    #15 - 3 Acts of God

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    S12:E13

    Peter grows frustrated when players on opposing teams continue to thank God after defeating his beloved New England Patriots football team, so he and the guys embark on a global quest to find God and ask Him to stop interfering with the outcome of professional football games.

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    Director:Bob Bowen
  17. 6.3/10(1.5k votes)

    #16 - Mom's the Word

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    S12:E12

    When Peter's mother dies, he befriends her longtime pal Evelyn, who tries to seduce him. In the meantime, Stewie feels despair upon dealing with the realities of death.

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    Writer:Ted Jessup
  18. 6.0/10(1.6k votes)

    #17 - Brian's a Bad Father

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    S12:E11

    Brian tries to use Dylan's television connections to further his career.

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  19. 5.8/10(2.0k votes)

    #18 - Vestigial Peter

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    S12:E2

    After a vestigial twin grows out of Peter's neck, which he names Chip, he eventually starts realizing that people like Chip more than they like him, so Peter has him amputated. However, after Peter gets into trouble, he realizes he needs Chip more than ever.

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    Director:Julius Wu
  20. 5.7/10(1.6k votes)

    #19 - Herpe, the Love Sore

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    S12:E16

    Brian gives Stewie an STD. Meanwhile, Peter and the guys fight back when another group claims their booth at The Drunken Clam.

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  21. 5.3/10(1.7k votes)

    #20 - Fresh Heir

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    S12:E14

    Chris becomes the heir to Carter's fortune but refuses to accept the money; Peter desperately tries to keep the wealth in the family.

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    Director:Mike Kim
  22. 4.8/10(3.5k votes)

    #21 - Life of Brian

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    S12:E6

    Stewie and Brian travel back in time to 17th-century Jamestown and make too many close calls with changing history. Stewie decides to destroy his time machine, but comes to regret it when Brian dies after being hit by a car. Devastated by his death, the Griffin family goes out and adopts another dog from the pet store, Vinnie, who is quickly accepted by all the members of the Griffin family, other than Stewie, who can't get over the loss of Brian.

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    Director:Joseph Lee

Season 12 Ratings Summary

"Christmas Guy" is the best rated episode of "Family Guy" season 12. It scored 7.6/10 based on 2151 votes. Directed by Greg Colton and written by Patrick Meighan, it aired on 12/15/2013. This episode is rated 0.5 points higher than the second-best, "Quagmire's Quagmire".