Every season of Two and a Half Men ever, ranked from best to worst by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The best seasons of Two and a Half Men!

Pilot

Big Flappy Bastards

Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap

The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump

Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?

If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake

Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful

Phase One, Complete

Merry Thanksgiving

Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

Camel Filters and Pheromones

Sarah Like Puny Alan

I Can't Afford Hyenas

Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick

That Was Saliva, Alan

Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats

An Old Flame with a New Wick

I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You

Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark

No Sniffing, No Wowing

My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet

Just Like Buffalo

Can You Feel My Finger?

Back Off, Mary Poppins

Enjoy Those Garlic Balls

A Bag Full of Jawea

Go Get Mommy's Bra

Bad News from the Clinic?

The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance

A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana

Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers

Yes, Monsignor

The Salmon Under My Sweater

Last Chance to See Those Tattoos

A Lungful of Alan

Zejdz z Zmoich Wlosów (Get Off My Hair)

Those Big Pink Things with Coconut

Smell the Umbrella Stand

Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?

Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!

It Was 'Mame', Mom

A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise

I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey

A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On

That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother

Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab

Does This Smell Funny to You?

Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts

Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover

Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark

Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs

We Called It Mr. Pinky

Hi, Mr. Horned One

Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop

That Voodoo That I Do Do

Madame and Her Special Friend

Something Salted and Twisted

Santa's Village of the Damned

That Special Tug

Humiliation Is a Visual Medium

Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded

My Tongue Is Meat

Ergo, the Booty Call

The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer

The Spit-Covered Cobbler

Golly Moses, She's a Muffin

Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro

And the Plot Moistens

Just Once with Aunt Sophie

Arguments for the Quickie

That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite

Working for Caligula

Who Is This Vod Kanockers?

The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress

A Pot-Smokin' Monkey

A Live Woman of Proven Fertility

Apologies for the Frivolity

Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head

Release the Dogs

Corey's Been Dead for an Hour

Kissing Abe Lincoln

Walnuts and Demerol

Castrating Sheep in Montana

Don't Worry, Speed Racer

That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami

My Damn Stalker

Young People Have Phlegm Too

I Merely Slept with a Commie

It Never Rains in Hooterville

Smooth as a Ken Doll

Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot

Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous

Mr. McGlue's Feedbag

Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin'

Prostitutes and Gelato

Large Birds, Spiders and Mom

Media Room Slash Dungeon

Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo

City of Great Racks

A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.

The Best Seasons of Two and a Half Men

The Best Seasons of Two and a Half Men

Season 5

Season 6

Season 3

Other Seasons

Season 2

Season 1

Season 4

Season 7

Season 10

Season 11

Season 9

Season 12