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The Best Episodes of Two and a Half Men

Comedy

Every episode of Two and a Half Men ranked from best to worst. Let's dive into the Best Episodes of Two and a Half Men!

The Best Episodes of Two and a Half Men

A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.
  1. Background image for The Two Finger Rule
    8.7/10(1.8k votes)

    #1 - The Two Finger Rule

    S6:E19

    After Chelsea discovers a nude picture of another woman on Charlie's cell phone, he blows off steam by going out for a night of drinking with Alan, Herb and his neighbor.

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  2. Background image for Walnuts and Demerol
    8.6/10(1.8k votes)

    #2 - Walnuts and Demerol

    S4:E11

    Charlie's friends and family put a crimp in his plan for a romantic Christmas Eve date. When Evelyn sees who the date is, she goes to great lengths to force a wedge between them.

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  3. Background image for Fish in a Drawer
    8.6/10(2.1k votes)

    #3 - Fish in a Drawer

    S5:E17

    CSIs investigate a death at Charlie's house.

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  4. Background image for The Mooch at the Boo
    8.5/10(1.7k votes)

    #4 - The Mooch at the Boo

    S6:E9

    Charlie finds himself in an uncomfortable position when Jake takes off with the daughter of a former NFL player. Charlie's Mercedes proves a boon to Alan's love life.

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  5. Background image for Hi, Mr. Horned One
    8.4/10(2.1k votes)

    #5 - Hi, Mr. Horned One

    S3:E6

    Ignoring Alan's warnings, Charlie continues to date Isabella until she threatens to put a curse on his manhood.

    Writer:Unknown
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  6. Background image for Ergo, the Booty Call
    8.4/10(1.6k votes)

    #6 - Ergo, the Booty Call

    S3:E16

    Alan has trouble deciding if he should bring his younger girlfriend to Jake's birthday party to meet his mom and his ex-wife. Rose tries to get her boyfriend to act more like Charlie.

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    The 20 WORST Episodes of Two and a Half Men

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  8. Background image for Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
    8.4/10(1.8k votes)

    #7 - Is There a Mrs. Waffles?

    S5:E8

    Charlie writes a children’s song and finds success as Charlie Waffles. The children love him and the mothers seem to as well. Charlie's new found fame irritates Alan.

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  9. Background image for Santa's Village of the Damned
    8.3/10(1.8k votes)

    #8 - Santa's Village of the Damned

    S3:E11

    Alan starts dating a woman with a Martha Stewart complex. Before long she's running the house with an obsession for perfection.

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  10. Background image for Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
    8.3/10(1.6k votes)

    #9 - Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro

    S3:E20

    Alan tries to win Kandi back. Meanwhile, Charlie starts to sleep with her mom, Mandi, and Judith gets set up with her father, Andy.

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  11. Background image for Apologies for the Frivolity
    8.3/10(1.7k votes)

    #10 - Apologies for the Frivolity

    S4:E6

    Charlie is dating a woman whose personality and life are like his mother’s.

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  12. Background image for Baseball Was Better with Steroids
    8.3/10(1.5k votes)

    #11 - Baseball Was Better with Steroids

    S6:E24

    Charlie starts to question his relationship with Chelsea when he hears that Mia is back in town. Meanwhile, Judith goes into labor and Charlie, Alan and Herb rush her to the hospital, on the sixth season finale.

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  13. Background image for That Voodoo That I Do Do
    8.2/10(1.7k votes)

    #12 - That Voodoo That I Do Do

    S3:E8

    Charlie tricks Jake into taking ballet lessons, so he can get close to the teacher.

    Writer:Unknown
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  14. Background image for Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
    8.2/10(1.5k votes)

    #13 - Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded

    S3:E14

    Charlie arranges a romantic date with Mia in the hopes of consummating their relationship. Alan begins to date Charlie's most recent ex-girlfriend.

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  15. Background image for Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot
    8.2/10(1.5k votes)

    #14 - Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot

    S4:E20

    Alan looks forward to Judith's wedding, while Charlie and Myra continue their romance.

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  16. Background image for Prostitutes and Gelato
    8.2/10(1.5k votes)

    #15 - Prostitutes and Gelato

    S4:E24

    Evelyn's boyfriend, Teddy, invites Alan and Charlie to go with him to Las Vegas on his private jet. The boys confront their individual 'daddy issues'

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  17. Background image for She'll Still Be Dead At Halftime
    8.2/10(1.4k votes)

    #16 - She'll Still Be Dead At Halftime

    S6:E16

    Charlie has to remove a half-naked woman from his bedroom before Chelsea arrives.

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  18. Background image for Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
    8.1/10(1.6k votes)

    #17 - Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover

    S3:E2

    Jake gets suspended from school after drawing an offensive picture of a girl in his class that has large breasts. Meanwhile, Charlie is asked to watch over Alan's chiropractic office after pulling an all-nighter.

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  19. Background image for That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
    8.1/10(1.5k votes)

    #18 - That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite

    S3:E24

    Charlie and Mia start making their wedding arrangements. Things begin to fall apart when their two families meet each other. They eventually decide on a small ceremony in Las Vegas.

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  20. Background image for Smooth as a Ken Doll
    8.1/10(1.5k votes)

    #19 - Smooth as a Ken Doll

    S4:E19

    Charlie takes a liking to Myra, the witty sister of Judith's fiancé, Herb.

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  21. Background image for The Soil Is Moist
    8.1/10(1.5k votes)

    #20 - The Soil Is Moist

    S5:E13

    Alan finds out some surprising information about Judith's sex life when he decides to go on a date with one of her friends.

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  22. Background image for Above Exalted Cyclops
    8.1/10(1.4k votes)

    #21 - Above Exalted Cyclops

    S6:E21

    Chelsea is asked by Alan to arrange a blind date between he and her new friend, unaware that her new friend is Rose.

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  23. Background image for Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?
    8.0/10(11 votes)

    #22 - Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?

    S2:E16

    When Judith decides to take a vacation, the brothers have to take care of Jake during the week. Alan finds it challenging, and even forgets to pick up Jake from soccer practice. When Alan finds out that he has to go to the I.R.S. because they're auditing him, he forces Charlie to take care of Jake, and Charlie doesn't do any better then Alan.

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  24. Background image for Madame and Her Special Friend
    8.0/10(1.6k votes)

    #23 - Madame and Her Special Friend

    S3:E9

    One of Charlie's elderly neighbors tries to seduce Alan, while Charlie tries to stop Jake from giving money to a televangelist.

    Director:Asaad Kelada
    Writer:Unknown
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  25. Background image for That Special Tug
    8.0/10(1.6k votes)

    #24 - That Special Tug

    S3:E12

    Charlie sees a therapist to learn how to deal with Alan's emotional insecurities.

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  26. Background image for Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin'
    8.0/10(1.5k votes)

    #25 - Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin'

    S4:E23

    Charlie is shocked when the handyman working on his house beats him out for Chloe's affections. Alan has no sympathy for Charlie’s distress.

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Best Episodes Summary

"The Two Finger Rule" is the best rated episode of "Two and a Half Men". It scored 8.7/10 based on 1845 votes. Directed by James Widdoes and written by Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson, Lee Aronsohn, Susan Beavers, Chuck Lorre, it aired on 3/30/2009. This episode scored 0.1 points higher than the second highest rated, "Walnuts and Demerol".