8.0/108 votesLoading...#1 - Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
Season 3 Episode 14 - Aired 2/6/2006
Charlie arranges a romantic date with Mia in the hopes of consummating their relationship. Alan begins to date Charlie's most recent ex-girlfriend.
Director: Gary Halvorson
Writer: Susan Beavers, Don Foster
8.0/1010 votesLoading...#2 - Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
Season 5 Episode 1 - Aired 9/24/2007
Jake is getting ready to start a new school as he graduates to Junior High. Alan and Charlie take him school shopping and find themselves in trouble.
Director: Ted Wass
Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre
7.9/109 votesLoading...#3 - Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?
Season 2 Episode 16 - Aired 2/13/2005
When Judith decides to take a vacation, the brothers have to take care of Jake during the week. Alan finds it challenging, and even forgets to pick up Jake from soccer practice. When Alan finds out that he has to go to the I.R.S. because they're auditing him, he forces Charlie to take care of Jake, and Charlie doesn't do any better then Alan.
Director: Pamela Fryman
Writer: Susan Beavers, Don Foster
7.9/109 votesLoading...#4 - Ergo, the Booty Call
Season 3 Episode 16 - Aired 3/6/2006
Alan has trouble deciding if he should bring his younger girlfriend to Jake's birthday party to meet his mom and his ex-wife. Rose tries to get her boyfriend to act more like Charlie.
Director: Gary Halvorson
Writer: Susan Beavers, Don Foster
7.9/1010 votesLoading...#5 - Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
Season 3 Episode 20 - Aired 4/24/2006
Alan tries to win Kandi back. Meanwhile, Charlie starts to sleep with her mom, Mandi, and Judith gets set up with her father, Andy.
Director: Gary Halvorson
Writer: Susan Beavers, Don Foster
7.8/109 votesLoading...#6 - My Tongue is Meat
Season 3 Episode 15 - Aired 2/27/2006
Charlie has trouble keeping up with Mia's healthy lifestyle, so he begins to sneak beers, cigars, and burgers behind her back. When Mia finds out what he was doing, Charlie has to decide if he is truly in love with her or just whipped.
Director: Gary Halvorson
Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre
7.8/109 votesLoading...#7 - Apologies for the Frivolity
Season 4 Episode 6 - Aired 10/23/2006
Charlie is dating a woman whose personality and life are like his mother’s.
Director: Gary Halvorson
Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre, Don Foster
7.8/108 votesLoading...#8 - Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin'
Season 4 Episode 23 - Aired 5/7/2007
Charlie is shocked when the handyman working on his house beats him out for Chloe's affections. Alan has no sympathy for Charlie’s distress.
Director: Lee Aronsohn
Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre, Don Foster, Jim Patterson
7.7/1012 votesLoading...#9 - Walnuts and Demerol
Season 4 Episode 11 - Aired 12/11/2006
Charlie's friends and family put a crimp in his plan for a romantic Christmas Eve date. When Evelyn sees who the date is, she goes to great lengths to force a wedge between them.
Director: Gary Halvorson
Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre, Susan Beavers, Jim Patterson
7.6/109 votesLoading...#10 - Back Off, Mary Poppins
Season 2 Episode 1 - Aired 9/19/2004
Alan learns that Charlie belongs to an exclusive men's group, and he begs his brother to let him join.
Director: Chuck Lorre, Pamela Fryman
Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Susan Beavers
7.6/109 votesLoading...#11 - Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!
Season 2 Episode 17 - Aired 2/20/2005
After Charlie has back pain, Alan decides to take him to the Hospital. While there Charlie can't stop hitting on the doctor who is examining him. The only problem is that he has a history with her that he can't remember. Berta is feed up with Jake's inability to use the bathroom properly, so she decides to make him clean it until he learns.
Director: Pamela Fryman
Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre
7.6/109 votesLoading...#12 - Hi, Mr. Horned One
Season 3 Episode 6 - Aired 10/24/2005
Ignoring Alan's warnings, Charlie continues to date Isabella until she threatens to put a curse on his manhood.
Director: Gary Halvorson
Writer: N/A
7.6/109 votesLoading...#13 - Santa's Village of the Damned
Season 3 Episode 11 - Aired 12/19/2005
Alan starts dating a woman with a Martha Stewart complex. Before long she's running the house with an obsession for perfection.
Director: N/A
Writer: Susan Beavers, Don Foster
7.6/109 votesLoading...#14 - Golly Moses, She's a Muffin
Season 3 Episode 19 - Aired 4/10/2006
Charlie is surprised to find out that Kandi has been living with them for the last three weeks. Alan is having a tough time helping Kandi earn a living. Charlie has lost his sense because of the dry-spell he is going through.
Director: Gary Halvorson
Writer: Eddie Gorodetsky
7.6/108 votesLoading...#15 - Just Once With Aunt Sophie
Season 3 Episode 22 - Aired 5/8/2006
A girl from Jake’s school invites him to his first boy-girl party. Charlie and Alan help him get ready for it by giving him advice. Alan and Charlie get nostalgic and remember their first boy-girl party.
Director: Lee Aronsohn
Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre
7.6/1010 votesLoading...#16 - Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids
Season 5 Episode 9 - Aired 11/19/2007
Charlie fights his attraction for Teddy's daughter.
Director: Jean Sagal
Writer: Eddie Gorodetsky, Don Foster
7.6/109 votesLoading...#17 - She'll Still Be Dead At Halftime
Season 6 Episode 16 - Aired 3/2/2009
Charlie has to remove a half-naked woman from his bedroom before Chelsea arrives.
Director: Jeff Melman
Writer: Eddie Gorodetsky, Don Foster
7.5/1010 votesLoading...#18 - Smell the Umbrella Stand
Season 2 Episode 15 - Aired 2/6/2005
Alan starts to worry about a medical procedure that he is facing, and to get his mind off it, Charlie suggests they go to Las Vegas.
Director: Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Pamela Fryman
Writer: Susan Beavers, Don Foster
7.5/1011 votesLoading...#19 - I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
Season 2 Episode 20 - Aired 4/17/2005
Rose tries to help the brothers sort out their feelings, when Charlie and Alan take their personal frustrations out on each other.
Director: Asaad Kelada
Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre
7.5/1010 votesLoading...#20 - That Voodoo That I Do Do
Season 3 Episode 8 - Aired 11/14/2005
Charlie tricks Jake into taking ballet lessons, so he can get close to the teacher.
Director: Gary Halvorson
Writer: N/A
7.5/1010 votesLoading...#21 - A Live Woman of Proven Fertility
Season 4 Episode 5 - Aired 10/16/2006
Alan is overjoyed by the prospect of Judith remarrying, as he would no longer have to pay alimony. Alan gets Charlie to help him when it looks like the marriage maybe derailed due to Jake’s dislike of his mother’s fiancé.
Director: Gary Halvorson
Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre, Susan Beavers, Don Foster
7.5/1010 votesLoading...#22 - Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
Season 5 Episode 3 - Aired 10/8/2007
Alan convinces Charlie that he needs to date more respectable women and sets him up with a judge. The two double date and their waitress happens to be one of Charlie’s ex-girlfriends. Charlie's date backfires the following morning, when he ends up in court in front of the judge.
Director: Ted Wass
Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre
7.5/1010 votesLoading...#23 - City of Great Racks
Season 5 Episode 4 - Aired 10/15/2007
Charlie and Linda get closer to consummating their relationship, but Charlie has trouble focusing when he begins to see Rose's face everywhere he turns.
Director: James Widdoes
Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre, Eddie Gorodetsky, Susan Beavers, Don Foster, Jim Patterson
7.5/1010 votesLoading...#24 - The Mooch at the Boo
Season 6 Episode 9 - Aired 11/24/2008
Charlie finds himself in an uncomfortable position when Jake takes off with the daughter of a former NFL player. Charlie's Mercedes proves a boon to Alan's love life.
Director: Jeff Melman
Writer: Eddie Gorodetsky, Susan Beavers
7.4/108 votesLoading...#25 - The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
Season 2 Episode 6 - Aired 10/24/2004
Alan denies having shoplifted a toy as a child and fears he has a dark side, until Charlie admits he planted the toy on Alan to stay out of trouble himself.
Director: Pamela Fryman
Writer: Chuck Lorre, Eddie Gorodetsky
The Best Episodes of Two and a Half Men
Every episode of Two and a Half Men ranked from best to worst. Let's dive into the Best Episodes of Two and a Half Men!
A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.
Genre:Comedy
Network:CBS
Best Episodes Summary
"Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded" is the best rated episode of "Two and a Half Men". It scored 8/10 based on 8 votes. Directed by Gary Halvorson and written by Susan Beavers, Don Foster, it aired on 2/6/2006. This episode scored 0.0 points higher than the second highest rated, "Large Birds, Spiders and Mom".