Two and a Half Men

The Best Episodes of Two and a Half Men

Genre:Comedy
Network:CBS

Every episode of Two and a Half Men ranked from best to worst. Let's dive into the Best Episodes of Two and a Half Men!

A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.
Episodes
262
Avg. Rating
7.2
S1
S2
S3
S4
E1
E2
E3
8.1
7.9
7.8
7.6
7.7
7.6
8.1
7.8
7.7
7.9
7.7
7.5

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  1. 8.7/10(2.0k votes)

    #1 - Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab

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    S2:E23

    Evelyn demands Jake spend a night at her place when she finds out he spent Spring Break with Judith's parents. Neither Alan nor Charlie are keen on the idea, but going to a bar after dropping off Jake quickly erases their concerns.

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    Director:N/A
  2. 8.6/10(2.7k votes)

    #2 - Camel Filters and Pheromones

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    S1:E12

    Berta's granddaughter spends the day at Charlie's, which isn't a problem until he learns she's a beautiful, rebellious 16-year-old.

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  3. 8.6/10(1.8k votes)

    #3 - Walnuts and Demerol

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    S4:E11

    Charlie's friends and family put a crimp in his plan for a romantic Christmas Eve date. When Evelyn sees who the date is, she goes to great lengths to force a wedge between them.

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  4. 8.6/10(2.0k votes)

    #4 - Fish in a Drawer

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    S5:E17

    CSIs investigate a death at Charlie's house.

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  5. 8.5/10(1.8k votes)

    #5 - Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.

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    S7:E8

    While overcoming a bad break-up, Chelsea invites her beautiful college roommate to stay at the house.

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    Director:James Widdoes
    Writer:N/A
  6. 8.4/10(2.0k votes)

    #6 - An Old Flame with a New Wick

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    S1:E18

    Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man.

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    The 20 WORST Episodes of Two and a Half Men

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  8. 8.4/10(1.9k votes)

    #7 - Just Like Buffalo

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    S1:E23

    When Jake repeats one of Charlie's sexist remarks in front of Judith's support group, the women convince Judith to stop Jake's visits with his dad and Charlie.

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  9. 8.4/10(2.0k votes)

    #8 - Hi, Mr. Horned One

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    S3:E6

    Ignoring Alan's warnings, Charlie continues to date Isabella until she threatens to put a curse on his manhood.

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    Writer:N/A
  10. 8.4/10(1.6k votes)

    #9 - Ergo, the Booty Call

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    S3:E16

    Alan has trouble deciding if he should bring his younger girlfriend to Jake's birthday party to meet his mom and his ex-wife. Rose tries to get her boyfriend to act more like Charlie.

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  11. 8.4/10(1.7k votes)

    #10 - Is There a Mrs. Waffles?

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    S5:E8

    Charlie writes a children’s song and finds success as Charlie Waffles. The children love him and the mothers seem to as well. Charlie's new found fame irritates Alan.

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  12. 8.3/10(1.9k votes)

    #11 - If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake

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    S1:E7

    Judith is upset with Alan and Charlie when she learns that a surfer who uses Charlie's shower walks around half naked in front of Jake . Then Alan's worried when Judith and the surfer become friends.

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  13. 8.3/10(1.6k votes)

    #12 - Does This Smell Funny to You?

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    S2:E24

    Charlie unknowingly sleeps with an older man's trophy wife while Jake has to read a paper to his class.

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  14. 8.3/10(1.6k votes)

    #13 - That Voodoo That I Do Do

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    S3:E8

    Charlie tricks Jake into taking ballet lessons, so he can get close to the teacher.

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    Writer:N/A
  15. 8.3/10(1.7k votes)

    #14 - Santa's Village of the Damned

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    S3:E11

    Alan starts dating a woman with a Martha Stewart complex. Before long she's running the house with an obsession for perfection.

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    Director:N/A
  16. 8.3/10(1.6k votes)

    #15 - Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro

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    S3:E20

    Alan tries to win Kandi back. Meanwhile, Charlie starts to sleep with her mom, Mandi, and Judith gets set up with her father, Andy.

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  17. 8.3/10(1.6k votes)

    #16 - Apologies for the Frivolity

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    S4:E6

    Charlie is dating a woman whose personality and life are like his mother’s.

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  18. 8.2/10(1.6k votes)

    #17 - Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?

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    S2:E16

    When Judith decides to take a vacation, the brothers have to take care of Jake during the week. Alan finds it challenging, and even forgets to pick up Jake from soccer practice. When Alan finds out that he has to go to the I.R.S. because they're auditing him, he forces Charlie to take care of Jake, and Charlie doesn't do any better then Alan.

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  19. 8.2/10(1.5k votes)

    #18 - Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded

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    S3:E14

    Charlie arranges a romantic date with Mia in the hopes of consummating their relationship. Alan begins to date Charlie's most recent ex-girlfriend.

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  20. 8.2/10(1.4k votes)

    #19 - Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot

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    S4:E20

    Alan looks forward to Judith's wedding, while Charlie and Myra continue their romance.

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  21. 8.2/10(1.4k votes)

    #20 - Prostitutes and Gelato

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    S4:E24

    Evelyn's boyfriend, Teddy, invites Alan and Charlie to go with him to Las Vegas on his private jet. The boys confront their individual 'daddy issues'

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  22. 8.2/10(1.3k votes)

    #21 - Ixnay on the Oggie Day

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    S7:E18

    Charlie has a return engagement with Chelsea's best friend, while Alan has an unexpected effect on a new female patient.

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  23. 8.1/10(2.6k votes)

    #22 - Pilot

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    S1:E1

    Carefree jingle writer Charlie Harper has his lifestyle altered when his uptight brother and his 10-year-old nephew move in with him.

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  24. 8.1/10(1.8k votes)

    #23 - I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You

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    S1:E19

    Judith's devious siren sister stirs things up at Jake's 11th birthday party when she hits on Alan. Meanwhile, Evelyn brings alcohol and has a party of her own.

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  25. 8.1/10(1.7k votes)

    #24 - Can You Feel My Finger?

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    S1:E24

    Charlie has a pregnancy scare involving one of his one-night stands and decides to go for the big "V," and we're not talking Vegas.

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  26. 8.1/10(1.6k votes)

    #25 - Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow (Get Off My Hair)

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    S2:E13

    After an earthquake hits, Judith's house is damaged and she needs a place to stay. So Alan decides to invite her to stay with him and Charlie, without getting Charlie's permission. Charlie isn't happy with this, but accepts it. Alan becomes jealous when Judith goes on a date, and asks Charlie to find him a date, so that he can show Judith that he dates as well.

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Best Episodes Summary

"Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab" is the best rated episode of "Two and a Half Men". It scored 8.7/10 based on 2025 votes. Directed by N/A and written by Don Foster, Susan Beavers, Chuck Lorre, it aired on 5/15/2005. This episode scored 0.1 points higher than the second highest rated, "Camel Filters and Pheromones".