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The Best Episodes of Two and a Half Men

Every episode of Two and a Half Men ranked from best to worst. Let's dive into the Best Episodes of Two and a Half Men!

The Best Episodes of Two and a Half Men

A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.
  1. Background image for Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
    8.7/10(2.1k votes)

    #1 - Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab

    S2:E23

    Evelyn demands Jake spend a night at her place when she finds out he spent Spring Break with Judith's parents. Neither Alan nor Charlie are keen on the idea, but going to a bar after dropping off Jake quickly erases their concerns.

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  2. Background image for The Two Finger Rule
    8.7/10(1.8k votes)

    #2 - The Two Finger Rule

    S6:E19

    After Chelsea discovers a nude picture of another woman on Charlie's cell phone, he blows off steam by going out for a night of drinking with Alan, Herb and his neighbor.

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  3. Background image for Camel Filters and Pheromones
    8.6/10(2.7k votes)

    #3 - Camel Filters and Pheromones

    S1:E12

    Berta's granddaughter spends the day at Charlie's, which isn't a problem until he learns she's a beautiful, rebellious 16-year-old.

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  4. Background image for The Mooch at the Boo
    8.5/10(1.7k votes)

    #4 - The Mooch at the Boo

    S6:E9

    Charlie finds himself in an uncomfortable position when Jake takes off with the daughter of a former NFL player. Charlie's Mercedes proves a boon to Alan's love life.

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  5. Background image for An Old Flame with a New Wick
    8.4/10(2.1k votes)

    #5 - An Old Flame with a New Wick

    S1:E18

    Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man.

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  6. Background image for Just Like Buffalo
    8.4/10(2.0k votes)

    #6 - Just Like Buffalo

    S1:E23

    When Jake repeats one of Charlie's sexist remarks in front of Judith's support group, the women convince Judith to stop Jake's visits with his dad and Charlie.

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  8. Background image for If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
    8.3/10(2.0k votes)

    #7 - If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake

    S1:E7

    Judith is upset with Alan and Charlie when she learns that a surfer who uses Charlie's shower walks around half naked in front of Jake . Then Alan's worried when Judith and the surfer become friends.

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  9. Background image for Does This Smell Funny to You?
    8.3/10(1.7k votes)

    #8 - Does This Smell Funny to You?

    S2:E24

    Charlie unknowingly sleeps with an older man's trophy wife while Jake has to read a paper to his class.

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  10. Background image for Baseball Was Better with Steroids
    8.3/10(1.5k votes)

    #9 - Baseball Was Better with Steroids

    S6:E24

    Charlie starts to question his relationship with Chelsea when he hears that Mia is back in town. Meanwhile, Judith goes into labor and Charlie, Alan and Herb rush her to the hospital, on the sixth season finale.

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  11. Background image for Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?
    8.2/10(1.6k votes)

    #10 - Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?

    S2:E16

    When Judith decides to take a vacation, the brothers have to take care of Jake during the week. Alan finds it challenging, and even forgets to pick up Jake from soccer practice. When Alan finds out that he has to go to the I.R.S. because they're auditing him, he forces Charlie to take care of Jake, and Charlie doesn't do any better then Alan.

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  12. Background image for She'll Still Be Dead At Halftime
    8.2/10(1.4k votes)

    #11 - She'll Still Be Dead At Halftime

    S6:E16

    Charlie has to remove a half-naked woman from his bedroom before Chelsea arrives.

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  13. Background image for Pilot
    8.1/10(2.7k votes)

    #12 - Pilot

    S1:E1

    Carefree jingle writer Charlie Harper has his lifestyle altered when his uptight brother and his 10-year-old nephew move in with him.

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  14. Background image for I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
    8.1/10(1.8k votes)

    #13 - I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You

    S1:E19

    Judith's devious siren sister stirs things up at Jake's 11th birthday party when she hits on Alan. Meanwhile, Evelyn brings alcohol and has a party of her own.

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  15. Background image for Can You Feel My Finger?
    8.1/10(1.8k votes)

    #14 - Can You Feel My Finger?

    S1:E24

    Charlie has a pregnancy scare involving one of his one-night stands and decides to go for the big "V," and we're not talking Vegas.

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  16. Background image for Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow (Get Off My Hair)
    8.1/10(1.6k votes)

    #15 - Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow (Get Off My Hair)

    S2:E13

    After an earthquake hits, Judith's house is damaged and she needs a place to stay. So Alan decides to invite her to stay with him and Charlie, without getting Charlie's permission. Charlie isn't happy with this, but accepts it. Alan becomes jealous when Judith goes on a date, and asks Charlie to find him a date, so that he can show Judith that he dates as well.

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  17. Background image for It Was Mame, Mom
    8.1/10(1.7k votes)

    #16 - It Was Mame, Mom

    S2:E18

    Charlie is invited to a party hosted by a gay ad-executive named Eric, so Charlie asks Alan to pretend that he's his life partner. While at the party, Charlie meets Eric's ex-wife Pamela, and tries to sleep with her without Eric finding out.

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  18. Background image for Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
    8.1/10(10 votes)

    #17 - Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded

    S3:E14

    Charlie arranges a romantic date with Mia in the hopes of consummating their relationship. Alan begins to date Charlie's most recent ex-girlfriend.

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  19. Background image for Ergo, the Booty Call
    8.1/10(11 votes)

    #18 - Ergo, the Booty Call

    S3:E16

    Alan has trouble deciding if he should bring his younger girlfriend to Jake's birthday party to meet his mom and his ex-wife. Rose tries to get her boyfriend to act more like Charlie.

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  20. Background image for Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
    8.1/10(12 votes)

    #19 - Large Birds, Spiders and Mom

    S5:E1

    Jake is getting ready to start a new school as he graduates to Junior High. Alan and Charlie take him school shopping and find themselves in trouble.

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  21. Background image for Above Exalted Cyclops
    8.1/10(1.4k votes)

    #20 - Above Exalted Cyclops

    S6:E21

    Chelsea is asked by Alan to arrange a blind date between he and her new friend, unaware that her new friend is Rose.

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  22. Background image for Merry Thanksgiving
    8.0/10(1.9k votes)

    #21 - Merry Thanksgiving

    S1:E10

    Realizing he's losing someone special, Charlie plans a Thanksgiving dinner to convince her he's a family guy and that she should be with him.

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  23. Background image for Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
    8.0/10(1.6k votes)

    #22 - Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers

    S2:E8

    Alan meets a woman named Nancy at a grocery store, who fulfills every single one of his desires, forcing Charlie to take care of Jake. After knowing Nancy for a few days Alan decides to ask her to marry him, prompting Charlie to try and talk him out of it, and he even gets help from the brothers' mother.

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  24. Background image for Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
    8.0/10(1.6k votes)

    #23 - Last Chance to See Those Tattoos

    S2:E11

    After getting unusually turned down at a bar, Charlie learns that a website has been made dedicated to exposing his lifestyle. Charlie sets out to find who created the site, making amends to all those he stood up, but it's harder than it looks when all the women take the apology better than expected.

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  25. Background image for A Lungful of Alan
    8.0/10(1.7k votes)

    #24 - A Lungful of Alan

    S2:E12

    Alan is jealous of Charlie when an old classmate, who's now a beautiful woman, seems to be more interested in Charlie.

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  26. Background image for It's Always Nazi Week
    8.0/10(1.3k votes)

    #25 - It's Always Nazi Week

    S6:E6

    When Judith kicks Herb to the curb, Alan comes knocking; Jake is sent to stay with a less-than-willing Charlie for three months during Judith's meltdown.

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Best Episodes Summary

"Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab" is the best rated episode of "Two and a Half Men". It scored 8.7/10 based on 2089 votes. Directed by Unknown and written by Don Foster, Susan Beavers, Chuck Lorre, it aired on 5/16/2005. This episode scored 0.0 points higher than the second highest rated, "The Two Finger Rule".