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The Best Episodes of Two and a Half Men Season 1

Every episode of Two and a Half Men Season 1 ranked from best to worst. Discover the Best Episodes of Two and a Half Men Season 1!

A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.
Genre:Comedy
Network:CBS
Episodes
24
Avg. Rating
7.9
S1
S2
S3
S4
E1
E2
E3
8.1
7.7
7.7

Filter By Season (12)

  • Camel Filters and Pheromones
    8.6/10(2,632)
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    #1 - Camel Filters and Pheromones

    Season 1 Episode 12

    Aired 1/4/2004

    Berta's granddaughter spends the day at Charlie's, which isn't a problem until he learns she's a beautiful, rebellious 16-year-old.

    Director: Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Robert Berlinger

    Writer: Susan Beavers

    Comments

    0
  • An Old Flame With a New Wick
    8.4/10(1,967)
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    #2 - An Old Flame With a New Wick

    Season 1 Episode 18

    Aired 2/29/2004

    Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man.

    Director: Chuck Lorre, Andrew D. Weyman

    Writer: Lee Aronsohn

    Comments

    0
  • Just Like Buffalo
    8.4/10(1,885)
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    #3 - Just Like Buffalo

    Season 1 Episode 23

    Aired 5/16/2004

    When Jake repeats one of Charlie's sexist remarks in front of Judith's support group, the women convince Judith to stop Jake's visits with his dad and Charlie.

    Director: Chuck Lorre

    Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Don Foster

    Comments

    0
  • If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
    8.3/10(1,906)
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    #4 - If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake

    Season 1 Episode 7

    Aired 11/2/2003

    Judith is upset with Alan and Charlie when she learns that a surfer who uses Charlie's shower walks around half naked in front of Jake . Then Alan's worried when Judith and the surfer become friends.

    Director: Andy Ackerman, Chuck Lorre

    Writer: Lee Aronsohn

    Comments

    0
  • Pilot
    8.1/10(2,607)
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    #5 - Pilot

    Season 1 Episode 1

    Aired 9/22/2003

    Carefree jingle writer Charlie Harper has his lifestyle altered when his uptight brother and his 10-year-old nephew move in with him.

    Director: James Burrows

    Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre

    Comments

    0
  • I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
    8.1/10(1,736)
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    #6 - I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You

    Season 1 Episode 19

    Aired 3/21/2004

    Judith's devious siren sister stirs things up at Jake's 11th birthday party when she hits on Alan. Meanwhile, Evelyn brings alcohol and has a party of her own.

    Director: Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Gail Mancuso

    Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre, Eddie Gorodetsky, Don Foster

    Comments

    0
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  • Can You Feel My Finger?
    8.1/10(1,680)
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    #7 - Can You Feel My Finger?

    Season 1 Episode 24

    Aired 5/23/2004

    Charlie has a pregnancy scare involving one of his one-night stands and decides to go for the big "V," and we're not talking Vegas.

    Director: Chuck Lorre

    Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre

    Comments

    0
  • Merry Thanksgiving
    8.0/10(1,856)
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    #8 - Merry Thanksgiving

    Season 1 Episode 10

    Aired 11/23/2003

    Realizing he's losing someone special, Charlie plans a Thanksgiving dinner to convince her he's a family guy and that she should be with him.

    Director: Jay Sandrich

    Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre

    Comments

    0
  • No Sniffing, No Wowing
    8.0/10(1,739)
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    #9 - No Sniffing, No Wowing

    Season 1 Episode 21

    Aired 5/2/2004

    Charlie plays a tricky game when he gets involved with Alan's divorce lawyer, who could make things difficult for Alan if she were, say, dumped by a self-centered lothario.

    Director: Lee Aronsohn

    Writer: Chuck Lorre, Don Foster

    Comments

    0
  • If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap
    7.9/10(1,926)
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    #10 - If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap

    Season 1 Episode 4

    Aired 10/12/2003

    Charlie can't function when his housekeeper storms off because of Alan's constant complaints, so Alan tries desperately to woo her back. Meanwhile, Rose comes to Charlie for dating advice.

    Director: Andy Ackerman

    Writer: N/A

    Comments

    0
  • Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
    7.9/10(1,653)
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    #11 - Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats

    Season 1 Episode 17

    Aired 2/22/2004

    Charlie's still brooding over Alan's choice of their cousin as Jake's guardian if both parents die when the boy has an accident while in his care and has to be rushed to the hospital.

    Director: Andrew D. Weyman

    Writer: Eddie Gorodetsky

    Comments

    0
  • The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump
    7.8/10(1,910)
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    #12 - The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump

    Season 1 Episode 5

    Aired 10/19/2003

    Alan and Charlie have encounters with some highly libidinous soccer moms, but with two very different outcomes.

    Director: Andy Ackerman, Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn

    Writer: Eddie Gorodetsky

    Comments

    0
  • Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful
    7.8/10(1,788)
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    #13 - Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful

    Season 1 Episode 8

    Aired 11/9/2003

    Alan tricks Charlie into joining him and Judith in leading Jake and his classmates in the school's annual music show.

    Director: Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn

    Writer: Eddie Gorodetsky

    Comments

    0
  • Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
    7.8/10(1,763)
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    #14 - Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick

    Season 1 Episode 15

    Aired 2/8/2004

    Charlie invites a mysterious, slightly crazed woman to stay at the house until she can settle some family problems.

    Director: Andrew D. Weyman

    Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre

    Comments

    0
  • That Was Saliva, Alan
    7.8/10(1,717)
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    #15 - That Was Saliva, Alan

    Season 1 Episode 16

    Aired 2/15/2004

    Charlie is perplexed when Frankie, the mysterious woman temporarily living in the Harper household, begins falling for Alan and not him.

    Director: Andrew D. Weyman

    Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre

    Comments

    0
  • My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
    7.8/10(1,618)
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    #16 - My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet

    Season 1 Episode 22

    Aired 5/9/2004

    When Charlie discovers that Alan is sleepwalking, he believes it's related to his brother's lack of sex following his divorce, and comes up with a cure.

    Director: Lee Aronsohn, Gail Mancuso

    Writer: Chuck Lorre, Eddie Gorodetsky

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    0
  • Big Flappy Bastards
    7.7/10(2,139)
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    #17 - Big Flappy Bastards

    Season 1 Episode 2

    Aired 9/29/2003

    Despite warnings from Charlie, Jake continues to feed seagulls on the deck and the birds invade the house. Meanwhile, Charlie thinks Judith is taking advantage of Alan, who keeps going to her house to fix things.

    Director: Andy Ackerman

    Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre, Eddie Gorodetsky

    Comments

    0
  • Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
    7.7/10(1,992)
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    #18 - Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

    Season 1 Episode 3

    Aired 10/5/2003

    Jake wants to go home to his mom after he gets sick, prompting Alan to think he's a failure as a husband and now as a father.

    Director: Andy Ackerman, Chuck Lorre

    Writer: Lee Aronsohn

    Comments

    0
  • I Can't Afford Hyenas
    7.7/10(1,687)
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    #19 - I Can't Afford Hyenas

    Season 1 Episode 14

    Aired 2/1/2004

    Charlie's financial manager informs the carefree jingle writer that he spends money faster than his royalty checks come in, and now he must go on a budget.

    Director: Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn

    Writer: Eddie Gorodetsky

    Comments

    0
  • Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
    7.6/10(1,692)
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    #20 - Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

    Season 1 Episode 11

    Aired 12/14/2003

    When Alan is surprised to see that Judith has had a makeover and is dating a man, he decides to have Charlie help him transform his image.

    Director: Chuck Lorre, Robert Berlinger

    Writer: Lee Aronsohn

    Comments

    0
  • Sarah Like Puny Alan
    7.6/10(1,673)
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    #21 - Sarah Like Puny Alan

    Season 1 Episode 13

    Aired 1/10/2004

    Charlie nurses an ailing Alan back to health so they can go on a double date with two sisters, one of whom Charlie's been wanting to date for a long time.

    Director: Chuck Lorre, Robert Berlinger

    Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Don Foster

    Comments

    0
  • Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
    7.5/10(1,805)
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    #22 - Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?

    Season 1 Episode 6

    Aired 10/26/2003

    The guys go to Evelyn's house to meet the new man she's dating, and Charlie realizes the man's daughter is a woman he's trying to avoid.

    Director: Andy Ackerman, Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn

    Writer: Susan Beavers, Don Foster

    Comments

    0
  • Phase One, Complete
    7.5/10(1,714)
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    #23 - Phase One, Complete

    Season 1 Episode 9

    Aired 11/15/2003

    Charlie is convinced that a woman who spent the night with him wants to turn their relationship into something serious after she befriends Jake and Evelyn.

    Director: Andy Ackerman

    Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre

    Comments

    0
  • Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
    7.5/10(1,614)
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    #24 - Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark

    Season 1 Episode 20

    Aired 4/18/2004

    Jake's sullen mood baffles and bothers the family and prompts Alan and Judith to take him to a child psychologist.

    Director: Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Gary Halvorson

    Writer: N/A

    Comments

    0

Season 1 Ratings Summary

"Camel Filters and Pheromones" is the best rated episode of "Two and a Half Men" season 1. It scored 8.6/10 based on 2632 votes. Directed by Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Robert Berlinger and written by Susan Beavers, it aired on 1/4/2004. This episode is rated 0.2 points higher than the second-best, "An Old Flame With a New Wick".