Two and a Half Men

The Best Episodes of Two and a Half Men Season 9

Genre:Comedy
Network:CBS

Every episode of Two and a Half Men Season 9 ranked from best to worst. Discover the Best Episodes of Two and a Half Men Season 9!

A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.
Episodes
24
Avg. Rating
6.0
S1
S2
S3
S4
E1
E2
E3

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  1. 6.6/10(1.4k votes)

    #1 - Thank You for the Intercourse

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    S9:E8

    When Walden begins redecorating the beach house, Alan becomes overly emotional.

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  2. 6.6/10(1.2k votes)

    #2 - Slowly and in a Circular Fashion

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    S9:E13

    Walden’s ex-wife and mother try to take control of his company, so he turns to Alan for help.

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  3. 6.6/10(1.1k votes)

    #3 - Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy

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    S9:E16

    Strained relationships and girl-fighting result when a huge storm traps Walden, Alan, Zoey and Lyndsey in the house on Valentine's Day.

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  4. 6.4/10(1.3k votes)

    #4 - Frodo's Headshots

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    S9:E9

    Upon his release from the hospital, Alan is met with a slew of challenges that test his ability to cope.

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  5. 6.4/10(1.1k votes)

    #5 - The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack

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    S9:E15

    Walden tries to loosen Zooey up by sharing some of Berta's special brownies.

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  6. 6.4/10(1.1k votes)

    #6 - Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!

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    S9:E24

    Jake is pressured to make a decision about his future.

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  8. 6.3/10(1.2k votes)

    #7 - What a Lovely Landing Strip

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    S9:E11

    Walden is trying his best to impress his new love interest when Bridget reappears in his life.

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  9. 6.3/10(1.1k votes)

    #8 - A Possum on Chemo

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    S9:E14

    Zoey tries to convince Walden to cut his hair and shave; Alan and Lyndsey revive their relationship.

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  10. 6.3/10(1.0k votes)

    #9 - Palmdale, Ech

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    S9:E19

    Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers. Jake and Eldridge get a ride from Walden to a party.

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  11. 6.3/10(1.1k votes)

    #10 - Why We Gave Up Women

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    S9:E22

    Charlie's ghost pays a visit to Alan after he suffers a minor heart attack.

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  12. 6.2/10(1.2k votes)

    #11 - A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes

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    S9:E10

    Walden hits it off with a British babe, but neither of them is sure he's ready to re-enter the dating world.

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  13. 6.1/10(991 votes)

    #12 - Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'

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    S9:E21

    Walden's commitment is tested when Zoey and her daughter come to live with him. Meanwhile, Alan gets more than he bargained for when he moves in with Lyndsey

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  14. 6.0/10(1.0k votes)

    #13 - Grandma's Pie

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    S9:E20

    Walden breaks the news to Zoey that he is going into business with his ex-wife. Alan and Lyndsey try to cope with their mom's relationship.

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  15. 5.9/10(1.3k votes)

    #14 - Those Fancy Japanese Toilets

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    S9:E7

    Jake has a crush on his chemistry tutor, who has a crush on Walden. Meanwhile, Alan obsesses over the journal his brother left him in his will.

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  16. 5.8/10(1.4k votes)

    #15 - A Giant Cat Holding a Churro

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    S9:E5

    Alan has trouble accepting Lyndsey's seedy movie past, and Walden tries to cheer him up by throwing a party.

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  17. 5.7/10(1.2k votes)

    #16 - One False Move, Zimbabwe!

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    S9:E12

    Walden's mother arrives and Alan is smitten with her, even as she reveals a secret about Walden's past that sends him into a downward spiral.

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  18. 5.7/10(1.1k votes)

    #17 - The War Against Gingivitis

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    S9:E18

    Walden's ex-business partner shows up at the beach house looking to make peace.

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  19. 5.7/10(1.1k votes)

    #18 - The Straw in My Donut Hole

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    S9:E23

    Alan is showered with love and affection upon returning from the hospital, but Zoey isn’t so sure it’s deserved.

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  20. 5.6/10(1.5k votes)

    #19 - Nine Magic Fingers

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    S9:E4

    Walden goes looking for Mrs. Right while Alan has an opportunity to reconcile with Lyndsey.

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  21. 5.6/10(1.3k votes)

    #20 - The Squat and the Hover

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    S9:E6

    Walden receives divorce papers from Bridget, but forgets his depression when he meets a girl who looks eerily like her.

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  22. 5.5/10(3.7k votes)

    #21 - Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt

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    S9:E1

    Alan and Jake meet Walden Schmidt, a broken-hearted billionaire.

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  23. 5.5/10(1.2k votes)

    #22 - Not in My Mouth!

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    S9:E17

    Walden and Zoey's relationship suffers after they share a near-death experience. Meanwhile, Alan wonders if Lyndsey has a drinking problem.

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  24. 5.3/10(2.0k votes)

    #23 - People Who Love Peepholes

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    S9:E2

    Walden deals with his ex-wife, Bridget.

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  25. 5.3/10(1.6k votes)

    #24 - Big Girls Don't Throw Food

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    S9:E3

    Alan prepares Walden for a date with Bridget, while Jake decides to emulate Walden and drop out of school.

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    Director:James Widdoes

Season 9 Ratings Summary

"Thank You for the Intercourse" is the best rated episode of "Two and a Half Men" season 9. It scored 6.6/10 based on 1365 votes. Directed by James Widdoes and written by Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson, Susan McMartin, Chuck Lorre, it aired on 11/7/2011. This episode is rated 0.0 points higher than the second-best, "Slowly and in a Circular Fashion".