Show cover for Two and a Half Men

The Best Episodes of Two and a Half Men Season 7

Every episode of Two and a Half Men Season 7 ranked from best to worst. Discover the Best Episodes of Two and a Half Men Season 7!

A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.
Genre:Comedy
Network:CBS

Season 7 Ratings Summary

"818-jklpuzo" is the best rated episode of "Two and a Half Men" season 7. It scored 8.1/10 based on 1472 votes. Directed by James Widdoes and written by Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre, Eddie Gorodetsky, Susan Beavers, Don Foster, it aired on 9/21/2009. This episode is rated 0.3 points higher than the second-best, "Whipped Unto the Third Generation".

  • 818-jklpuzo
    8.1/101,472 votes

    #1 - 818-jklpuzo

    Season 7 Episode 1 - Aired 9/21/2009

    Charlie must make a difficult decision about his future and with which woman he wants to spend his life: Chelsea or Mia.

    Director: James Widdoes

    Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre, Eddie Gorodetsky, Susan Beavers, Don Foster

  • Whipped Unto the Third Generation
    7.8/101,259 votes

    #2 - Whipped Unto the Third Generation

    Season 7 Episode 2 - Aired 9/28/2009

    When Chelsea convinces Charlie to let Alan's new girlfriend, Melissa, move in, the girls end up taking over Charlie's house.

    Director: James Widdoes

    Writer: N/A

  • Mmm, Fish. Yum.
    7.6/101,221 votes

    #3 - Mmm, Fish. Yum.

    Season 7 Episode 3 - Aired 10/5/2009

    Alan ends up playing maid to Judith's new baby as well as his former mother-in-law. Meanwhile, Jake uses an incriminating photo to blackmail Charlie.

    Director: James Widdoes

    Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre, Don Foster

  • Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
    7.6/101,205 votes

    #4 - Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator

    Season 7 Episode 4 - Aired 10/12/2009

    Alan starts working for Evelyn as Charlie works to fix the relationship between Chelsea and Jake.

    Director: James Widdoes

    Writer: Eddie Gorodetsky, Susan Beavers

  • For the Sake of the Child
    7.6/101,245 votes

    #5 - For the Sake of the Child

    Season 7 Episode 5 - Aired 10/19/2009

    Jake stops at nothing to get away from Charlie and Alan, after they embarrass him out in public.

    Director: James Widdoes

    Writer: Chuck Lorre, Don Foster, Jim Patterson

  • Give Me Your Thumb
    7.9/101,238 votes

    #6 - Give Me Your Thumb

    Season 7 Episode 6 - Aired 11/2/2009

    Alan's advice to Chelsea that she get breast-reduction surgery is not met with enthusiasm by Charlie, who kicks him out, but staying with Evelyn has its own challenges.

    Director: James Widdoes

    Writer: N/A

  • Untainted by Filth
    7.9/101,277 votes

    #7 - Untainted by Filth

    Season 7 Episode 7 - Aired 11/9/2009

    Alan and Charlie are shocked when they wake up next to a strange woman, and try to find out what happened.

    Director: James Widdoes

    Writer: N/A

  • Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.
    8.5/101,746 votes

    #8 - Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.

    Season 7 Episode 8 - Aired 11/16/2009

    While overcoming a bad break-up, Chelsea invites her beautiful college roommate to stay at the house.

    Director: James Widdoes

    Writer: N/A

  • Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
    7.7/101,223 votes

    #9 - Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair

    Season 7 Episode 9 - Aired 11/23/2009

    While Alan struggles to cure his baldness, Charlie deals with the problem that he can't satisfy Chelsea.

    Director: James Widdoes

    Writer: N/A

  • That's Why They Call It Ball Room
    7.9/101,210 votes

    #10 - That's Why They Call It Ball Room

    Season 7 Episode 10 - Aired 12/7/2009

    Chelsea wants Charlie to take dancing lessons for the wedding, when Charlie uncovers the truth that Chelsea has been lying about her finances.

    Director: James Widdoes

    Writer: N/A

  • Warning, It's Dirty
    7.9/101,284 votes

    #11 - Warning, It's Dirty

    Season 7 Episode 11 - Aired 12/14/2009

    Jake is taught the art of infidelity by Charlie, while Celeste is away for Christmas.

    Director: James Widdoes

    Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre, Eddie Gorodetsky, Don Foster

  • Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste
    7.8/101,218 votes

    #12 - Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste

    Season 7 Episode 12 - Aired 1/11/2010

    Jake hopes to win back Celeste by writing her love songs. Alan and Herb hope to keep Judith from finding out they've become friends.

    Director: James Widdoes

    Writer: N/A

  • Yay, No Polyps!
    7.8/101,228 votes

    #13 - Yay, No Polyps!

    Season 7 Episode 13 - Aired 1/18/2010

    Charlie opts to have a colonoscopy in order to avoid going on a trip with Chelsea to see her parents. However, when he returns home, he finds her parents at his house.

    Director: James Widdoes

    Writer: N/A

  • Crude and Uncalled For (1)
    7.5/101,196 votes

    #14 - Crude and Uncalled For (1)

    Season 7 Episode 14 - Aired 2/1/2010

    Charlie suspects Chelsea likes the lawyer representing Alan after his arrest for a bar fight.

    Director: James Widdoes

    Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre

  • Aye, Aye, Captain Douche (2)
    7.5/101,198 votes

    #15 - Aye, Aye, Captain Douche (2)

    Season 7 Episode 15 - Aired 2/8/2010

    Chelsea and Charlie's relationship is at risk when Charlie's jealousy comes between them.

    Director: James Widdoes

    Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre, Susan Beavers

  • Tinkle Like a Princess
    7.6/101,215 votes

    #16 - Tinkle Like a Princess

    Season 7 Episode 16 - Aired 3/1/2010

    Charlie runs off to Vegas and returns with a new wife, but she's not Chelsea.

    Director: James Widdoes

    Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre

  • I Found Your Moustache
    7.4/101,173 votes

    #17 - I Found Your Moustache

    Season 7 Episode 17 - Aired 3/8/2010

    Charlie and Chelsea have a post-breakup one-night stand.

    Director: James Widdoes

    Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre

  • Ixnay on the Oggie Day
    8.2/101,281 votes

    #18 - Ixnay on the Oggie Day

    Season 7 Episode 18 - Aired 3/22/2010

    Charlie has a return engagement with Chelsea's best friend, while Alan has an unexpected effect on a new female patient.

    Director: James Widdoes

    Writer: Eddie Gorodetsky, Don Foster, Jim Patterson

  • Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave
    7.7/101,180 votes

    #19 - Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave

    Season 7 Episode 19 - Aired 4/12/2010

    Alan is torn between the bad influence of Jake's new friend and the hotness of his mother.

    Director: James Widdoes

    Writer: Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson

  • I Called Him Magoo
    7.6/101,235 votes

    #20 - I Called Him Magoo

    Season 7 Episode 20 - Aired 5/10/2010

    Alan tries for an intimate night at a hotel with his new girlfriend, while Charlie takes a different approach to obtain the "girlfriend experience"

    Director: James Widdoes

    Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre

  • Gumby with a Pokey
    7.9/101,290 votes

    #21 - Gumby with a Pokey

    Season 7 Episode 21 - Aired 5/17/2010

    Charlie is visited by the ghosts of his ex-girlfriends while Alan and Jake are on a road trip.

    Director: James Widdoes

    Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre, Susan Beavers, Dave Richardson

  • This Is Not Gonna End Well
    7.8/101,213 votes

    #22 - This Is Not Gonna End Well

    Season 7 Episode 22 - Aired 5/24/2010

    Charlie is miffed over Alan's planned attendance of Chelsea's birthday party and suffers the indignity of having Jake chauffer him around following a license suspension.

    Director: Lee Aronsohn

    Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre, Don Foster