7.8/101,350 votes#1 - Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
Season 5 Episode 1 - Aired 9/24/2007
Jake is getting ready to start a new school as he graduates to Junior High. Alan and Charlie take him school shopping and find themselves in trouble.
Director: Ted Wass
Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre
7.8/101,303 votes#2 - Media Room Slash Dungeon
Season 5 Episode 2 - Aired 10/1/2007
Charlie acts strange after spending an evening with his mother, and a woman Alan slept with behaves oddly the next morning.
Director: Ted Wass
Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre, Susan Beavers, Don Foster, Jim Patterson
7.8/101,296 votes#3 - Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
Season 5 Episode 3 - Aired 10/8/2007
Alan convinces Charlie that he needs to date more respectable women and sets him up with a judge. The two double date and their waitress happens to be one of Charlie’s ex-girlfriends. Charlie's date backfires the following morning, when he ends up in court in front of the judge.
Director: Ted Wass
Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre
7.9/101,288 votes#4 - City of Great Racks
Season 5 Episode 4 - Aired 10/15/2007
Charlie and Linda get closer to consummating their relationship, but Charlie has trouble focusing when he begins to see Rose's face everywhere he turns.
Director: James Widdoes
Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre, Eddie Gorodetsky, Susan Beavers, Don Foster, Jim Patterson
7.8/101,296 votes#5 - Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
Season 5 Episode 5 - Aired 10/22/2007
Charlie has to come up with ways to keep his girlfriend's 4-year-old amused; Alan becomes a test subject.
Director: James Widdoes
Writer: Eddie Gorodetsky, Don Foster
7.7/101,357 votes#6 - Help Daddy Find His Toenail
Season 5 Episode 6 - Aired 10/29/2007
Charlie's girlfriend is embrassed to go out in public with him. Meanwhile, Jake sneaks out to attend a concert.
Director: James Widdoes
Writer: Susan Beavers, Jim Patterson
7.6/101,259 votes#7 - Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room
Season 5 Episode 7 - Aired 11/5/2007
After Alan and Charlie have a fight about Alan's role in the house. Alan packs Jake up and moves in with his mother.
Director: Ted Wass
Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre
8.4/101,692 votes#8 - Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
Season 5 Episode 8 - Aired 11/12/2007
Charlie writes a children’s song and finds success as Charlie Waffles. The children love him and the mothers seem to as well. Charlie's new found fame irritates Alan.
Director: Ted Wass
Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre
7.9/101,305 votes#9 - Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids
Season 5 Episode 9 - Aired 11/19/2007
Charlie fights his attraction for Teddy's daughter.
Director: Jean Sagal
Writer: Eddie Gorodetsky, Don Foster
8.0/101,378 votes#10 - Kinda Like Necrophilia
Season 5 Episode 10 - Aired 11/26/2007
Alan finds out that Charlie stole his girlfriend and works on a plan to get back at Charlie, even though this happened when they were in high school.
Director: Ted Wass
Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre
8.0/101,332 votes#11 - Meander to Your Dander
Season 5 Episode 11 - Aired 3/17/2008
When Alan finds himself wanting to break up with a woman, Charlie offers his expertise.
Director: James Widdoes
Writer: Susan Beavers, Jim Patterson
7.7/101,285 votes#12 - A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
Season 5 Episode 12 - Aired 3/24/2008
Rose returns from England, and plays nurse rather oddly for an ill Charlie.
Director: James Widdoes
Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre
8.1/101,378 votes#13 - The Soil Is Moist
Season 5 Episode 13 - Aired 3/31/2008
Alan finds out some surprising information about Judith's sex life when he decides to go on a date with one of her friends.
Director: James Widdoes
Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre
7.9/101,312 votes#14 - Winky-Dink Time
Season 5 Episode 14 - Aired 4/14/2008
Charlie double-dates with Jake and fixes Alan up with a hooker.
Director: James Widdoes
Writer: Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson
7.7/101,298 votes#15 - Rough Night in Hump Junction
Season 5 Episode 15 - Aired 4/21/2008
Alan feels Charlie is unable to control his womanizing ways.
Director: James Widdoes
Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre
7.8/101,287 votes#16 - Look At Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty
Season 5 Episode 16 - Aired 4/28/2008
Alan makes wedding plans for Evelyn and Teddy, while Charlie figures out how to get more acquainted with his future step-sister.
Director: Joel Zwick
Writer: Eddie Gorodetsky, Susan Beavers, Don Foster
8.6/101,942 votes#17 - Fish in a Drawer
Season 5 Episode 17 - Aired 5/5/2008
CSIs investigate a death at Charlie's house.
Director: Jeff Melman
Writer: Naren Shankar, Carol Mendelsohn, Sarah Goldfinger, Evan Dunsky
7.7/101,301 votes#18 - If My Hole Could Talk
Season 5 Episode 18 - Aired 5/12/2008
Charlie's attracted to an older self-help author. Alan and Jake clash over a project for school.
Director: Jon Cryer
Writer: Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson
7.8/101,295 votes#19 - Waiting for the Right Snapper
Season 5 Episode 19 - Aired 5/19/2008
When Charlie meets Angie's soon to be daughter-in-law, he realizes it's not for the first time.
Director: Jeff Melman
Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre, Eddie Gorodetsky, Don Foster
The Best Episodes of Two and a Half Men Season 5
Every episode of Two and a Half Men Season 5 ranked from best to worst. Discover the Best Episodes of Two and a Half Men Season 5!
A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.
Genre:Comedy
Network:CBS
Season 5 Ratings Summary
"Large Birds, Spiders and Mom" is the best rated episode of "Two and a Half Men" season 5. It scored 7.8/10 based on 1350 votes. Directed by Ted Wass and written by Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre, it aired on 9/24/2007. This episode is rated 0.0 points higher than the second-best, "Media Room Slash Dungeon".